Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this very windy & rainy Tuesday afternoon? Mom is so sorry that I didn't write to you last night but honestly I was on the phone with a friend for quite awhile. You know he son....Lucas....he gained he Angel wings about 1 year after you did. I have spoken to you about him & the family before on my letters to you. Lucas' Mom & I went to high school together & we have been pretty close since the 2 of us have lost you both. We caught up last night & it was so nice. She can make Mom laugh & vice versa. We have a special bond that is for sure. We chatted about something that has come up a couple times in my sessions with Forrest but more so the last time. Mom's blog was mentioned a couple times & the writing that I do on here to you.... so many years ago ( like 23 + years ) people have said that I needed to write a book on everything that we experienced together, what Mom went through, etc.... I always said no because I didn't want to have to relive it all over again but last night when talking to Lucas' Mom she was also told she needed to write a book.....now neither of us know nothing about this subject, where to start or what to do.... but.... I think we are going to get together & try to see if we could actually write a book together. The experiences that we both have had through the years. We are not sure if it will go anywhere but we are willing to give it a go. Mom is excited about this in a way. I can put all my thoughts & feelings from so many years past in " one spot " & Mom thinks that maybe just maybe both of us will do a lot of grieving through this endeavor. I know you have given Mom signs & she has also received signs from Lucas. Please be with Mom every step of the way with this & guide me & my friend to where we need to go & be. Thanks my sweet precious son! I sure do miss you. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will forever be my true hero & the wind beneath my wings. You will live on through my heart, mind, body & soul. 
 Mom has no updates for you as everything so far has been very quiet. I haven't really spoken to our family in the last couple of days but I know they are all well. I will reach out to them in a day or so. Uncle Dick is doing better. Stacy is doing good & her Dad, Bill is holding his own & gaining strength day to day. This is all good news. Mark is still under the weather but he is doing what he can do feel better. He went back to work today & Mom did research on what I need to do for my CEU's to continue with my CMRS Certification. Those are due in a couple months & Mom needs to get going on this so college is going to be put on hold for a bit. It is going to be a very busy first few months of this new year but thats good in a way. I won't have any reason to be bored....lol. That's all I have for you tonight but I have a couple daily prayers for you that I need catching up on so here they are: January 2~ Happy are those who do not follow the advice of the wicked....but their delight is in the law of the Lord & on his law they meditate day & night. God, in this psalm I see the importance of the influences I choose each day. Thank you that even this time I am spending with you right now is a safeguard for my soul. The closer I stick to you & the more I fill my mind with your Word, the more strength I have to do the right thing. Please keep my heart & mind free of the clutter of compromise & half-truths. Thank you for the way your Word clarifies & simplifies my life. Counsel me with your truth today & every day. In your name, I pray. Amen. There will be many moral junctures in the course of my day today. What I truly believe will be revealed in how I navigate each one. Amen.
 January 3~ You show me the path of life. In your presence there is fullness of joy; in your right hand are pleasures forevermore. Today, Lord, I've come into your presence again, just to be near you. Whether you have a new insight for me or just a reassurance of your care for me. I'm happy for the opportunity to commune with you right now. Help me stay close to you throughout the day & please keep your song of joy alive in my heart, fueled by gratitude for all the goodness you bring into my life. You are the one who makes my life truly worthwhile. May I remain in step with you along this blessing-filled path of life. If we live by the Spirit, let us also by guided by the Spirit. Amen.
 Mom is caught up for the last couple of nights. Earlier today I heard a song & I listened to the lyrics & just broke down as it made me think of you. The chorus of the song was " But...You went away, How dare you, I miss you. They say I'll be ok but I'm not going to ever get over you. " It was about a brother losing one of his brothers but the lyrics could be for anyone who has lost a loved one. The name of the song is " Over You. " I know you don't like to see Mom cry or be unhappy but some days are just harder than others & then some days there are what's called " Triggers ".....this song was a " trigger " for me today. Don't worry, Tyler... Mom will be alright. It is sad & tough for me not to have you here but I manage every day like I have for the last 3.5 years. I know that you are happy & free. 
 The weather today & tonight is not going to let Mom see anything shining in the sky. I will whisper to you like I always do though so be listening out for my voice. I will give you a smile & I hope you will be smiling as well. Mom will close her eyes to see it in my mind. I hope that you will have a peaceful & restful evening. May you get to do all the things you need & want to do. Have fun when Mom is sleeping tonight. Come visit me if you can. Mom would really like that. Thanks pumpkin. It is that time of night where Mom needs to get going & make dinner & feed the pups. Good night & sweet dreams to you, Tyler. Until tomorrow night......I love you...unconditional.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! Happy New you to you in Heaven. It is almost 14 hours into the New Year & the sun is shining & the sky is blue. It is chilly out there but overall a very nice day. Mark & Mom were going to go out for a bit but decided that we should make this a " down " day as we were up until 2 am & woke up at 7:30 am. To say the least that was not enough sleep time for your Momma & I am tired today. I didn't want to try & push it by going out. Instead, I took down most of the Christmas decorations, dusted & cleaned everything & then did laundry. The Christmas trees will be coming down tomorrow after we get back home from going out. It is a shame that the tree is coming down as it has been nice to look at for about 6 weeks but it will be back up again in about 10.5 months. Last night was a good time filled with food, friends, fun & laughter. We rang in the New Year with some champagne & a toast. Mom wished you a Happy New Year, did you here me? I sure hope so. I miss you so much. No matter how much time has passed it does not get any easier for Mom or our family. You will continue to always live in my heart, mind , body & soul. Mom loves talking about you & I never will stop. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I love you unconditionally. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I hope you always feel this in your soul. 
 Mom spoke to Meme today. Things are good on their end. They fell asleep before the new year rang in...just like I said they would. I have not heard from Grandpa yet but I am sure I will later when he gets home from work. I know they went out & went dancing. I am sure they had a good time. I will touch base with everyone in the next few days just to catch up on things & give you updates. Please continue to watch over us all like I know you do. Mom is so lucky to have you as my Guardian Angel. Thank you my sweet precious son for all you do. It means so much to me.
 Here is the 1st daily prayer for January 1~ He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see & fear  put their trust in the Lord. Lord, resolutions often fade with time. Sometimes I forget all about them & sometimes I just give up on them., despite my best intentions. I do want to thank you though, for this fresh start today, for this sense of a new beginning. And I was wondering if, instead of me trying to come up with some better approach to my life, you would come today & fill my heart & mind with reasons to be glad in you. I pray that these would overflow into songs of praise----songs that will continue throughout this year, lifting my own heart & encouraging others to look to you as well. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen. Music quickens time, she quickens us to the finest enjoyment of time. Amen.
 Mom is going to look for a book or something to find quotes that I can write to you on here daily as well. I just haven't found one yet. Hopefully I will when I am out tomorrow. The night will be here in just a few short hours. Mom wanted to write to you now because I know when I go to sit down later my body will be tired & I know I will be going to bed very early tonight. I hope that you evening will be all that you need & want it to be. May you be with Mom tonight when I am sleeping. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. I will indeed smile & I will see yours in my mind. Have fun & hope you have many adventures today as you start out 2017. Continue to fly free like Mom knows you are. Good night & sweet dreams. Until tomorrow..... I love you, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!