Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? I hope you had a day that was fun & fulfilled with everything you wanted it to be. Things here with Mom are crazy busy as the countdown is really on for us to leave for our trip. I have so many emotions running through me right now. I am happy, excited, nervous, scared, sad about it all. I am sorry that I didn't write you a letter last night but I was just too drained with the day that I had. Mark & I are trying really hard to get everything in order for all that is going on & doors are closing in our face left & right. It is just too much all at once to have to deal with. Anything that you can do from where you are will be a great help for us. I would gladly appreciate it pumpkin! Thank you.
 The weather here today was beautiful. Sunny, blue skies, nice & warm. Couldn't help but love it today. I did accomplish quite a bit though so that felt good! The weather back in NH was not so great today. They had a day that was snow, ice, more snow, more ice. The roads were very slippery & lots of cars off the road. Remember those days? I sure do & I don't miss it at all! I hope that the weather holds out for us to drive up there, for the wedding, & back here to Texas. 
 I was wondering if you could do something for me... Today is the 1 year anniversary of Amy's passing. Not a day goes by that I don't think about her too. If you see her can you please give her a hug for Mom. Tell her I miss her. I hope she is doing well & has been reunited with her daughter & her Dad. I hope that you both will make it very known that you are there on our wedding day. Thanks Tyler!
 Here are the 2 daily prayers that I need to write to you. December 8~ Let justice roll down like waters, & righteousness like an ever-flowing stream. Almighty God, overseer of all that exists, do you see the need of the poor & displaced children of the world? I know you do, Lord, but I sometimes wonder how you can allow them to live without safe water to drink or shelter from the raging storms & blazing heat. Comfort them, Lord, & if my discomfort when I think of them is a sign that there is something I can do to help, I am willing. Please show me the way. I often wonder all this myself. I think about it all & then I know that God is with them & doing all he can for these adults & children. If there is anything that I can do I know you will show me & I will do all that I can.
 December 9~ He heals the brokenhearted, & binds up their wounds. O God, my spirit is shattered! I cannot even begin to put the millions of pieces back together. I am scared that everything I hold dear will be taken from me, & I will be left loveless & broken. I turn to your Word of solace, & you tell me to keep steady in my faith. If I remain true to you, recovery will come, day to day, with your help. Please be with me in this dark period, giving me comfort & reassuring me of your presence. I ask in Jesus' precious name. Amen. The principal part of faith is patience. I have felt this way so many times in my life. I have been broken by so many men & losing you. I thought it was the end. I deserved nothing but being hurt. I have learned from many years of heart break & the 18 months of losing you that hurt & pain is a process & unfortunately a part of everyone's life at one point in time. I have had a very hard time with patience for so many things & with so many people in the past. I wonder if I am forgiven, I wonder if you forgive me Tyler? I know we both were stubborn & butted heads so many times before but we always made up. I miss those times. I would do anything to have you here with me. I would love the smiles, the talks, the kisses on my cheek, & yes even the fights we would have. I miss our walks together & us playing games...like that dang Mini Golf..lol! We never did get all of it. I remember we would complain about it & we would laugh for hours. Just quality time with you was the best. Damn... I miss it all. I miss you!
 The night sky is upon me know. The sun has set & the sky is getting dark. I hope to see a clear sky & lots of stars shining brightly tonight when we go for a walk with Snickers. I will as always whisper to you. I hope you can hear me & will be listening out for Mom's voice. I hope you night will be all that you want it to be. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I will see you in my dreams tonight! Remember you will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!