Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Mom has not had the best of a day today but I am doing ok right now. Last night I really didn't get any sleep again & boy I am feeling it all day today. Mom has just not been herself at all. I feel weird & funny... like I am here but I am not kind of thing. I really didn't do much of anything at all because I just couldn't stay focus most of the time. I know I am tired, that is a given but it is something more than that. Just can't put my finger on it. Mom pretty much listened to music most of the day on my computer. I did talk to Auntie Kristina, Debbie & Charlie briefly on the phone. Mark left early this morning...around 7 am & it is now after 5 pm & I haven't heard from him all day. I thought he would be home well before this but I guess it is going to be a long day / night for him & same thing for tomorrow. Mom wanted to write to you really quick before I need to go feed the pups & also get something for dinner for myself tonight. 
 Nothing is really new for updates for you today. I spoke to Grandpa briefly last night & I told him that I would call him tonight along with Meme. I guess I will have some more updates for you later in the week. Mark & Mom were suppose to go to NH for the weekend but as of this morning that has changed. We will be staying home & we will try again another weekend. I am bummed out about it but really there is nothing that can be done. It is a part of life....the ups, the downs, the happy times, the sad times, the disappointments, etc..... Mom just remembered.... I did have a conversation with your friend Sam....She spoke to me about a week or so ago that she was having some issues medically. She spoke of them again today. She is having a very tough time right now with everything in her life. I told her that I would be here for her if she needed someone to talk to & I also said that I would ask if you could please just watch over her & help her out. Mom knows you will as she was such a good friend to you. She misses you a lot. Many people miss you but no one misses you more than Mom does! 
 Here is your daily prayer for today: November 2~ I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will tell of all your wonderful deeds. What would it look like for me to give you thanks with my whole heart, Lord? I want to offer a thank offering like that to you, one that I am excited to give & that comes from the bottom of my heart. Please stir my heart toward that end, as you open up the wellspring of gratitude in my heart, I will meditate on & talk about all the ways you have blessed me from the earliest years of my life up to this present moment. Gratitude has eyes to see the subtlest shade of blessing, the ability to feel even the gentlest touch of God's goodness. Amen.
 The evening sky is almost upon us now. The sky is getting dark. The weather today was so nice. It was partly cloudy with sunny peaking through every once in awhile. The temp was 68 degrees. It was nice. I thought for sure that Mom would see a sunset of some sort as it has been days since the last one, but nothing again tonight. That stinks! Don't think I will be seeing any stars or the moon shining bright either again. Hopefully one night soon I will. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for Mom's voice. Smile & I will too. Mom hopes that you night is everything you want & need it to be. Come be with me tonight or come visit me in my dreams if you can. Have fun while I try to sleep. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I miss you like crazy & my love for you will forever be unconditional. Good night my sweet precious son. Sweet dreams. Until tomorrow.....I love you, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? It is November 1st or as some like to say...All Saints day or Day of the Dead. Today is the day of remembering all our loved ones & friends who have passed on. Tonight Mom will be lighting a candle for you, Nana, Pepe & all our family & friends that are with you now. Halloween night was very low key for us here. Mom made dinner & then we watch TV for the evening. Grandpa called to let us know that he did get some trick or treaters this year so that made him happy. Like I said he is just like a little kid when it comes to those kinds of things. Meme used to let Halloween when Aunt Beck & I were small & I think she tolerated it when you & Bean were little but now she hates the holiday. I was going to call her last night but the time escaped me & I didn't get a chance to. I will do it tonight though.
 The weather today is actually pretty nice out. We just took the pups out for a nice long walk. It was enjoyable as there will not be too many more of these warmer days. It is 51 degrees but the sun is shining bright & the sky is blue. I guess tomorrow is supposed to be even nicer... in the 60's so I will be taking the pups out for another long walk again. Mom is hoping to get the chance to see the stars & moon tonight when it turns nightfall but I am not sure. Haven't seen anything in about a week now. Regardless, Mom will be whispering to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. I will smile like I usually do & I hope you will too. 
 It's been a pretty busy day here for Mom. I did some house cleaning & laundry earlier today & then I got right into my studying. I finally finished up my class & turned in my last exam. I think I did pretty good on it. I will find out within the next couple days what my grade was. I also started my next class which is going to be crazy for Mom.... it is Applied Business Math. I haven't done any of this stuff in over 30 years. I took my first exam without even cracking open the book & I got a 93%. There were 30 questions... 3.33 points apiece & I got 2 wrong. I thought that was pretty good. Hopefully I can stay on this path. I am hoping my grades will stay in the 90's at least. I know you are with Mom every step of the way with this career path I have chosen. I am forever grateful. Something funny happened today to Mom that I think you will get a kick out of... I was so happy & told Mark..." Look I am wearing jeans today " ( as you know I never wear jeans ) he told me I looked good & I proceeded on with my day.....about 3 hours or so went by & Mom happened to have to get up for a few minutes because of the dogs & I noticed that my white computer chair was blue & so were my hands, legs, etc... from my new jeans....ugh... the blue dye stained my white computer chair & I had to go & remove all the blue from my body. I literally looked like a smurf.....lol! To say the least I took the jeans off & into the washer they went. Lesson learned on that one. I can hear your laugh in my head right now as I am typing this to you. Oh how I miss that laugh. I miss you picking on Mom. What I wouldn't give to hear you again. I miss you my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are my hero, the wind beneath my wings. You will forever stay in my heart, mind & soul. Always remember this, please!
 So for updates I have just a couple.... Uncle Dick is being released from the hospital today so that is good news. He will be on medicine but at least he is out now. I will try to get in touch with Aunt Beck tomorrow to see how they are & Bean so I can update you on that. Nothing else really.... haven't spoken to anyone all day on the phone so its been fairly quiet. Mom did get a call though & it made my day! Some guy was calling... I said " hello " & he said " Hey " & asked me if I knew someone... I said " Nope , I don't & I think you have the wrong number & started to laugh. " He said " Oh sorry about that.... but hey you have a very beautiful voice. I love it. Have a great day. " I said " thank you & just laughed. " It brightened my day as I am always being told I sound like a child when I talk. When I smoked I used to get lots of folks that said I had a husky voice & they liked it a lot but that was like 15+ years ago...lol! Thought I would share that with you, Tyler. I can hear you laughing again...hahahaha! Anyways... that is all I got for today so here is your daily prayer:
 November 1~ You crown the year with your bounty. By your grace, heavenly Father, another harvest has been gathered in---all those grains, fruits & vegetables to sustain our lives, just as harvests have done from time immemorail. And now comes the time of gathering together as friends & family to celebrate. As I move into this season of thanksgiving & celebration, my great God, help me keep a light heart, remembering your goodness & praising you for your provisions, both physical & spiritual. Season of mists & mellow fruitfulness, close bosom-friend of the maturing sun; conspiring with him how to load & bless with fruit the vines that round the thatch-eaves run. Amen.
 Well... it is getting to be that time of the day again where Mom needs to shut off the computer & start getting dinner prepped & the pups fed. Later I will relax with Mark & watch some of our TV shows that we like. It will be an early night tonight as neither of us really slept last night. Mark has a busy day tomorrow as well as Mom. I hope that your evening is filled with all good & fun things along with an adventure or 2. Com visit with Mom as I sleep tonight. I would love that. Continue to watch over us all as I know you always do but I still like to ask & not assume these things. Fly high & free like I do know you do & enjoy it a lot! Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler. Until tomorrow.... I love you with all my heart. Forever unconditionally.....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!