Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is very angry right at this moment in time. I am beside myself at this point and I am not happy. I will explain in a bit down below. Today's weather is sunny and a bit on the warm side. Everything that my mood is not right now. It looks so bright and cheerful outdoors. It is after 4 pm and Mom just got done doing a few things. I needed to come in my office and write to you to try and calm down as I am in such a rage right now it is not funny. I am so beyond angry that I am having a hard time typing because I am shaking so bad. I am on the verge of angry tears too. 

Yesterday on Easter, we all busted our butts to finish up all that we needed to do for the moves that are coming on Wednesday morning. we didn't celebrate the holiday as we all knew that we needed to get these things done. We hadn't heard anything as of 1:30 pm so Mom decided to message our realtor. She said nothing was told her her at that point either. I flat out asked what we should be expecting at this point. She said that the buyer was supposedly all set on his end now and we were now waiting on the appraiser to get the paperwork in. He had until April 4th...yesterday to finish it up to submit it. She left me know that she is concerned at this point because she doesn't think the closing will be on Thursday now. I told her that we have appliances being delivered on Friday morning and installs happening Thursday afternoon and Friday. We have the movers coming to take our stuff in less than 48 hrs, etc.... we have things being disconnected at this house as well again and being connected there at the new home. Mom is ready to say #@&%#&@ to this whole thing and call it all off. I have worked so hard to do everything just to have this happen for the 2nd time. I blame the buyer for waiting so long and I blame the appraiser for not doing his job on time either. I am so angry right now that I don't want to talk to anyone, see anyone or deal with anyone. I am basically done with all the BS....

I am so sorry. Mom should not be writing to you with this frame of mind. I really shouldn't be talking or showing these emotions like this on here but this is real life. This stuff happens and these emotions are real and raw. I wish I could tell you that I am doing better or I am ok but I can't, Tyler. I know you are seeing this all and I am sorry. If I could change it I would but I can't right now. I have to let myself go through these emotions so that I can release it all. I am sure that you understand all of it. 

I guess tonight will be nothing about relaxing and gathering a list of calls I need to make starting early in the morning. Mom's day will be on the phone and canceling things again.... this is the 2nd time I have had to do this crap. Now because of it...things are going to be on our terms and no one else at all. People are not going to like me but I don't care. Mom was hoping for a good night sleep tonight as I didn't get one last night but now I am not so sure about things. I will try. I can't light the candle warmer and I can't light a candle as I have none available but i will be thinking of you. I will whisper to you before I try and fall asleep. Smile for Mom and I will smile back to you. Have fun and I hope you do all the things you need to do and want to do. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. 

This letter is nothing of what I wanted it to be and again Mom apologizes about this but I can't help it. I am human and I feel what I feel and when I feel it. I will promise to do my best to calm down. I think I am going to take a long hot shower to clear my head. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you and I promise to be in a better frame of mind. I miss you more than words. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Please be with Mom right now. I need you. Please keep us healthy and safe. Thank you my sweet precious son. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams later.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💛

 

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Happy Heavenly Easter to you. Mom is sure missing you today. I remember all the Easters that we got to spend together. Mom loved making baskets for you and decorating. I don't do that anymore though. I stopped the year I lost you. Mom decorates for Fall and Christmas...that is it. I hope that you are celebrating up there in Heaven with all our family and friends. Just know we all wish you were here with us. 

Mom and Mark were up at the usual time this morning. We fed the pups and walked them and basically started our day. Mom made breakfast...scrambled eggs, bacon,sausage,toast. Everyone really liked it. Mom did the dishes while Mark headed upstairs and he packed his entire office up. Mom packed the rest of her office up plus I did the closet downstairs and the rest of the stuff in the bedroom and bathroom. We are down to 2 days before the movers get here and 4 days before we move to our new house. I think everyone is starting to get a bit nervous now. It will be a new town, and we will have to learn where everything is again. We got this though. Mom made a nice dinner for us tonight. After we ate, I cleaned up and then we decided to play poker. Mark won tonight. It is 8:15  pm and everyone is settled for the evening. Meme and Bob went to bed, the pupsxare sleeping and Mark is watching a show on TV while I am writing to you. I think utvqill be an early night tonight as Mom is very tired and my back is really hurting me. If I had the energy I would probably take a long bath but I just don't. Maybe tomorrow night.

Tomorrow is Monday. Mark has a busy day with work and also has an interview. We are crossing our fingers that he is the guy who gets it. It would be amazing if that happened. Meme and Bob will be going out for a bit while Mom is building a bookshelf. I think every night this week will be all about resting and relaxing. We are all going to need it with the week we have. I know you will be watching over us and keeping us safe and healthy. Thank you my sweet precious son. Mom had to pack the candle warmer so I have nothing but I promise that when we unpack I will have the candle warmer burning again for you and also a candle daily. 

Tonight, I will whisper to you before I go to bed. Smile for me and I will smile back to you. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart,mind, body and soul. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. Right now I am going to relax and call it a night. Have fun while I sleep. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams. 

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 🤍🐰🐣🐇🐥🤍

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday afternoon? Mom is so sorry that I was not able to write to you yesterday. I said it would be Saturday that I wouldn't be able to but I am taking the time to write you a brief letter before I need to get dinner going for the evening. I didn't want it to be 2 days without writing!

Last night was a bit crazy. We had dinner, Mom cleaned up and then I came right back into my office to finish printing off labels and then I took a long hot shower while Mark was still working. I crawled into bed at 8 pm and watched a bit of tv and then crashed around 11 pm. 

Today~ Mark and Mom were up at 7:30 am. We fed the pups and walked them and then Mom came right upstairs to call Aunt Beck. We chatted for about 45 minutes and then we got off the phone. They are getting ready to hit the road tomorrow for 2 months. They will be camping in PA and then throughout their trip and then they will settle in at their home in AZ for about 60 days. They will return in the early part of June. She is excited to get away from the cold and snow. I guess it snowed there a couple days ago. Forget that crap... not for mom anymore. I don't mind the cold weather but no more snow unless we are visiting NH...lol. After Mom was done with the call, I started to tape my boxes up, label them and put them all in bags. That took about an hour and then Mom got ready and took a shower. I needed to go to the post office and then run several errands. Mark came with me but he was on a work call from 11 am and he is still n it.....almost 6 hours later. We went to drop off all my boxes to ship out and then to 3 other stores. We got home around 1:45 pm. Mom had a call and that took about 30 minutes and then I did a few other things on the computer and now I am writing to you. I have about 20 minutes before I have to start getting dinner going and then feed the pups and walk them. Later this evening Mom will be watching a couple shows while Mark plays his game on his computer. He hasn't done that in months. I figured that it would be good for him seeing how it will be a bit of time before he can again. The rest of the night will be relaxing, having some wine and then going to bed. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday. We are not doing anything really. We are going to have breakfast and then we all need to take the day and finish up things in this house. Pack more and get things done as we are now 4 days out from the move!!!! Later in the evening Mom will make our Easter dinner. We will have ham, potatoes, veggie, rolls and then ice cream cake for dessert. The rest of the time will be relaxing as this coming week is going to be rough. Monday-Tuesday is last minute stuff, Wednesday morning the movers are here to take everything away and Thursday morning we are set to leave early in the morning and we are out of this hell hole forever!!!! Friday we have a washer, dryer and refrigerator being delivered and the phone and internet being installed as well. Friday we also have the security being hooked up. The weekend will be unpacking and getting settled in the new home....told ya it was going to be busy and a rough week. Please be with Mom and all of us during this time. We will need you. Mom needs you. Thank you my sweet precious son. 

I will write to you tomorrow during the day when everyone is doing their own thing. I will light the candle warmer this evening and tomorrow night but Monday I will have to pack it up. I know you understand. I will whisper to you before I go to bed so smile for me and I will smile to you. Have fun while I sleep. Come visit Mom in my dreams if you can. I miss you more than words. You are forever in my heart, mind, body and soul. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You will forever be in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom needs to get going for now but I will be back tomorrow with another letter. Time to start the night routine. Until tomorrow comes.... good night and sweet dreams.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💛🐰💜🐤

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is not doing the greatest and I am feeling really down in the dumps and defeated right now. I will explain in a bit though.

It was a typical day here...up at the same time as always and the pups were fed and walked. Mom came right upstairs to send emails out and then got ready. We had to meet our realtor at the new house to do a walk through with her. We got there a bit early and we stayed for about an hour and then left. Mom took a bunch of pictures for us all. This is where I was and still am quite discouraged.... the house is beautiful and would be big enough for just Mark, Mom and the pups but I am afraid that it will not be big enough for the 4 of us at all. The rooms are a lot smaller then what I remember and there is not a lot of privacy at all. I have to say that I am quite sadden at the decisions that we made but at the time we were under a lot of pressure and there wasn't much out there at all. We were in a pinch and now we are going to pay for it...I think. I know that we now have to live very minimal and that will be very difficult for Meme and Bob. There is not much room to do a whole lot. I think a lot of stuff is going to be donated. left here or just thrown away at this point. I refuse to take stuff with me if I have to purge at the other home and waste more money. We got back home and Mom showed Meme the pictures and she was not happy either. She says this is a waste of money to purchase this new place. I told her we are stuck with it now. No turning back at all. I came right out and said that why is she so angry as she is not paying for the place...all she has to do is really downsize and that is it and she won't even do that. I know she is not going to be happy there. With the lack of space and Rocky, I think she is going to take a look at it and decide that they...her and Bob are going to get their own place. Maybe this is why it is happening so that they can get their own place, Mom doesn't know right now. what I do know is that we are 7 days from being out of here and we should be excited but that is not the case. Mark still needs to pack, he needs to take the time off from work to help Mom and he is not and everything is being left to me to do yet again.... Mom needs to get with it and I have a lot to do in the next week. I have to pack up stuff, unpack stuff and then I also have to redo some of my boxes. My head is not in the game right now at all. I need to get a good night sleep and wake up in the morning ready to go. I have a few errands to run in the morning but then I will be back home getting things together. Over the weekend, I will not be on my computer so that I can use all the time and daylight that I have to get crap done. I will hop on Sunday, Easter and write to you but Mom will be taking Saturday off. Not much is open tomorrow so I am hoping to get a lot accomplished during the day time. we shall see. I am sorry that this is not an "upbeat" letter but I don't feel upbeat at all and I don't feel I should pretend. I know you understand my sweet precious son. I love you with all my heart. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will light the candle warmer for you later and whisper to you before I fall asleep so please smile to me when you hear my voice and I will smile to you. Have fun and come visit me in my dreams if you can tonight. Please continue to watch over us all and keep us safe and healthy. Thank you. I will be back tomorrow for another letter. I need to get going as it is after 5 pm and the night stuff needs to happen. I am sorry for this.... until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams. I miss you more than words can say.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 🐥💜🐰💛