Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing ok but very frustrated as you can see. This class is driving me crazy. I am so lost in it, it is not funny. Mom is waiting for Mark to get off his conference call so that he can try to help me out. Since I am waiting I decided to write you your letter. Mom was up again early this morning. I managed to feed Princess & Ozzy, make coffee for Mark like I do every morning, Get breakfast for him & me & then I took a shower & got ready. Mom took the pups for a nice walk. I thought it was gorgeous outside but it was definitely warm for them. Mom will take them for another one later this evening when it is cooler & the sun goes down. Hopefully I will see a beautiful sunset this evening plus the stars & the moon shining bright. Didn't see anything last night. Mom was kind of bummed about that. I thought for sure I would see them all. 
 Today has been another quiet day for the telephone. No one has called at all. Mom hasn't spoken to anyone in the family either. Mom's theory on that is no news is good news, right? I am sure to get some updates in the next few days though. I did chat with Megan today on facebook... she has 7 weeks left before she has her 2nd baby. This time it is a girl. She is naming her Aubrey. I am sure she will be beautiful. Her son Logan is a big boy & very handsome. He is already 20 months old. Time is flying by... it is so crazy. I guess Chris is doing well from what Meg tells me. He has a house & a girlfriend of several years now. I never see him so Mom just goes by what others tell me. My friend's dad is back home now but still really sick. Everything is stable right now. I check in on him every day because I know how it feels to have to sit & watch your love one suffer day in & day out. Right now it is just a waiting game. He refused to go into Hospice & he wanted to be at home so that it what his family chose for him. He is not talking & is on many medicines to help with the pain. My heart goes out to them all. Well that is all that Mom has for today. Here is the daily prayer for May 18~ When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. In God, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I am not afraid; what can flesh do to me? Many times I have found, Lord God, that your Word has shored up my faith when circumstances have shaken me to the core. Fear, anxiety, uncertainty & worry all disappear like morning mists when the light of your truth begins its ascent above the horizon of my mind & warms my panic-chilled heart. I praise you for your Word, which is able to empower my faith, to rally hope within my soul & to muster the cry of victory because of your great & precious promises. I fear only you because I trust in you alone. What promise in God's Word speaks peace to your situation today? Begin by reading Philippians 4:6-7. It is a good place to start. Amen.
 Here is the Inner Peace card for today as well: I look for the meaning of life within myself. If you want to find a deeper meaning in your life, you can't find it in the opinions or the beliefs that have been handed to you. You have to go to that place within yourself. 
 Well my sweet precious son. It is that time of night again & Mom needs to get going so that I can start our night routine. I am guessing I am behind schedule as Ozzy keeps coming in & jumping on me. I swear this pup knows how to tell time. 7 am & 5 pm right on the dot he jumps on us to tell us he is hungry...lol. Mom hopes that your night is filled with so many things that you need to do & want to do. Come visit Mom if you can. I will whisper to you as I always do a little later in the night. Hope to see your " painting " when the sun sets too. That sure will make Mom smile. Remember you are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You forever live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. I miss you more than words can ever say & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. 
 Until tomorrows letter..... good night & sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday morning? Mom is writing to you now because after I am finished with your letter I will be hitting the books & studying. I know when I am finished for the day I will be exhausted & cranky not to mention my eyes will hurt & I will physically be tired. That is what this class does to Mom. It takes everything out of me. Mom has been awake since 6:30 am. Just woke up & couldn't get back to sleep. I know I slept last night but I don't think it was entirely in a deep sleep as I am tired right now. I have actually done quite a bit. Mom got up, fed the pups, made coffee for Mark, gave the pups baths, did laundry, made Mark & I breakfast & prepped half of our dinner for this evening. Mom got ready after all this & just got back from a nice walk with the pups. I wanted to do that before it got really warm out. It is suppose to be 90 degrees today. The wind is blowing ( a nice breeze ) & the skies are so blue. It really is beautiful out. Mom's kind of weather. Your kind of weather too! Mom didn't see much of a sunset last night at all & I didn't see the stars or moon either. Hoping I will get to see all 3 this evening. Mom plans on sitting outside for a bit tonight while having a glass of wine. It will be a nice evening to do that with the weather. Mom will whisper to you later as well just like I do each night. Hope you will smile when you hear my voice & I will make sure to give you a smile as well. 
 Mom did not talk to anyone yesterday on the phone & overall it was a very quiet day. Aunt Beck texted me this morning telling me that Bean is still pretty sick. She even called out on Monday from work & she never does that. Hope she gets better soon. I know you will be watching over her as well. Thank you. No word on Bob & when his app't will be yet... 2 weeks of waiting now. This is just crazy. That is all I got for today. I am sure as the week goes on Mom will have something for you. Here is the daily prayer for the day.
 May 17~ Cast your burden on the Lord & he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. When I try to carry my burdens on my own, Lord, the weight of them eventually crushes me. In time, I become incapacitated while I stumble along---pride-driven, stubborn & thinking I should be able to do this or that. How much easier & how much better for me to unburden my heart, mind, soul & strength to you, lifting my pack of problems from my shoulder & casting them onto yours! I cannot know God's sustaining grace until I put an end to my self-sustaining ways. Amen.
 Mom has only a few Inner peace cards left & they will be finished. Sunday actually will be the last one. Here is the one for today though: I meditate every day to nurture my soul. Meditation gives you the opportunity to come to know your invisible self. It shatters the illusion of your separateness. 
 Mom wants to you know that you will forever be in my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my true hero & the wind beneath my wings. I miss you unbelievable. I love you with all that I have. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. Mom is hoping that later tonight your evening will be all that you need & want it to be. Have fun while I sleep & come visit me in my dreams if you can. Mom was wondering if you could do me a favor? Today is Snicker's Birthday. He would have been 9 years old. Can you give him a big hug & kiss & tell him that I miss him so much ( Max too! ) I know you are taking real good care of him ( Max too! ) Thank you my sweet precious son. 
 I will be back tomorrow night with another letter so until then.... good night & sweet dreams later.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!