Sunday, October 5, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I hope that you are as happy as you can be. Mom is doing well. I do want to start off by telling you that I am so sorry for not writing to you for 3 nights. Mom was under the weather Thursday still & then Mark started to feel ill & that went into Friday. I took care of him the best I could so I didn't even come near my computer at all. Last evening Mark & Mom had a little dinner party. We had a few neighbors over. It was nice to mingle with them, but some points were kind of awkward. It was fun but nothing like having them back in NH. Boy, I sure do miss our family & friends! I miss you so much more though. Oh yeah, I went to a Christian book store yesterday called Mardels. I bought this Memorial Cross that had a beautiful saying on it. I will have to write it to you tomorrow though. There is a light in it & glows an electric blue color. It is sitting next to your picture. I hope that you like it. Nothing else really is new except that Mom has been working on getting a lot of things in order for the wedding. It is coming up really fast now. I did some more work on it today too. Haven't really talked on the phone much to anyone but I am sure that everyone is just fine... That is because you are watching over all of us. Thank you pumpkin. I love you beyond words!
I have some daily prayers to catch up on. I promise I will be better at this. Things will start slowing down soon so that I can do it daily & not a few at a time. Anyways....
Here is the 1st one of the evening. October 2~ Give thanks to the Lord, for his steadfast love endures forever. Lord, I sat down with a big list of things to ask you for. Material needs & wants, people to reach, hearts to change, & situations where your presence is needed. But as I began to pray, I realized how many blessings I already have in my life & that I have more than I could ever need. So I am setting aside my list of petitions, & I want to say only this: Thank you. Thank you for being a loving & responsive God who anticipates & answers my needs. Amen. Every day I thank God for another day. I don't ask for anything other health, safety, & protection for my family, friends, pets, Mark & myself. I don't ask for material things at all. I haven't for sometime now. I am thankful to still be here learning the things I need to so that when my time comes to be reunited with you Tyler, I will have the knowledge that is needed to move on.
October 3~ Let the words of my mouth & the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you. O Lord, my rock & my redeemer. O Lord Jesus, thank you for all the monuments to faith you have strategically placed in my life. Whenever I feel myself beginning to doubt that you will intervene in a given situation, all I have to do is look back & remember when you took care of me in the past. Crises with teenagers, the pain of financial reverses, & grieving the loss of friends, family, & my child, my son, Tyler---- I reflect on all those times & see how you faithfully worked to bring me safely through them & closer to you at the same time. Looking back increases my faith going forward, dear Lord. I praise you for the monuments of faith. With the power of faith we need not search for the answers outside the Lord. Honestly, Tyler. I have nothing to say to this prayer except I am thankful for everything. I hated to loose you, but I know I had no say in it. The ones left behind never do. I know it was the way you wanted it to be & I have to learn to respect you for that. I am thankful for all that I have been through. It has made me the person I am today because of it.
October 4~ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. When I was a child, I had my favorite blanket. I took that blanket everywhere, wrapping myself in its warmth & comfort. Now I am all grown up, & you, God, are the one I turn to for warmth & comfort. Like that blanket, I know all I have to do is call you & you will wrap your love around me & make me feel safe & snug. I am your child still. No matter how old I get, I will always need you to watch over me. For you, God, are my permanent security blanket, my safe harbor from the storm. You are my rock, my home. God sends an abundant amount of strength & grace to all those who suffer. I am learning this daily. I never was like this or close to my faith as I am now. I thank God for this. I also thank Mark too ( and my neighbor Ms. Betty ). I will do everything I can & have to so that 1 day I will be reunite with you Tyler, & all our family & friends that have passed along the way. That is a promise to you that I will keep forever!
October 5~ [ Jesus said, ] " I am the good shepherd. I know my own & my own knows me, just as the Father knows me & I know the Father: And I lay down my life for the sheep." I know that when I wander away from you, dear God, you always come & get me. Like a loving shepherd watching over his flock, you gently nudge me back in the right direction to keep me from harm. Sometimes I admit I refuse to listen to those nudgings, & I get into some kind of trouble because of it. But then, dear God, you always turn my attention back to you & the loving guidance you offer me. Thank you for being my shepherd, my guardian, & my heavenly Father, Amen. Again, God, thank you for all you do for myself, my soon to be husband, my family & friends ( pets too ). I am humble to have what I do & I take nothing for granted.
Wow Ty... the evening sky is now dark. The stars & moon have been shining quite brightly these last few nights. It makes me smile to know that you are around me & watching over your Momma. I always whisper to you. I hope you hear me. I hope you know just how much you are loved & missed by Mom & so many of our family & friends. I don't think no matter what I can do or say the whole & void that is left in my heart will never stop. No one will ever fill it again. You were the one & only. I will be walking Snickers in a bit. I will be looking forward to the brightly lit sky tonight. I will whisper to you again. Be listening out for me. I hope that you have a wonderful evening. May you have sweet dreams my sweet precious son. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I hope that you are as happy as you can be. Mom is doing well. I do want to start off by telling you that I am so sorry for not writing to you for 3 nights. Mom was under the weather Thursday still & then Mark started to feel ill & that went into Friday. I took care of him the best I could so I didn't even come near my computer at all. Last evening Mark & Mom had a little dinner party. We had a few neighbors over. It was nice to mingle with them, but some points were kind of awkward. It was fun but nothing like having them back in NH. Boy, I sure do miss our family & friends! I miss you so much more though. Oh yeah, I went to a Christian book store yesterday called Mardels. I bought this Memorial Cross that had a beautiful saying on it. I will have to write it to you tomorrow though. There is a light in it & glows an electric blue color. It is sitting next to your picture. I hope that you like it. Nothing else really is new except that Mom has been working on getting a lot of things in order for the wedding. It is coming up really fast now. I did some more work on it today too. Haven't really talked on the phone much to anyone but I am sure that everyone is just fine... That is because you are watching over all of us. Thank you pumpkin. I love you beyond words!
I have some daily prayers to catch up on. I promise I will be better at this. Things will start slowing down soon so that I can do it daily & not a few at a time. Anyways....
Here is the 1st one of the evening. October 2~ Give thanks to the Lord, for his steadfast love endures forever. Lord, I sat down with a big list of things to ask you for. Material needs & wants, people to reach, hearts to change, & situations where your presence is needed. But as I began to pray, I realized how many blessings I already have in my life & that I have more than I could ever need. So I am setting aside my list of petitions, & I want to say only this: Thank you. Thank you for being a loving & responsive God who anticipates & answers my needs. Amen. Every day I thank God for another day. I don't ask for anything other health, safety, & protection for my family, friends, pets, Mark & myself. I don't ask for material things at all. I haven't for sometime now. I am thankful to still be here learning the things I need to so that when my time comes to be reunited with you Tyler, I will have the knowledge that is needed to move on.
October 3~ Let the words of my mouth & the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you. O Lord, my rock & my redeemer. O Lord Jesus, thank you for all the monuments to faith you have strategically placed in my life. Whenever I feel myself beginning to doubt that you will intervene in a given situation, all I have to do is look back & remember when you took care of me in the past. Crises with teenagers, the pain of financial reverses, & grieving the loss of friends, family, & my child, my son, Tyler---- I reflect on all those times & see how you faithfully worked to bring me safely through them & closer to you at the same time. Looking back increases my faith going forward, dear Lord. I praise you for the monuments of faith. With the power of faith we need not search for the answers outside the Lord. Honestly, Tyler. I have nothing to say to this prayer except I am thankful for everything. I hated to loose you, but I know I had no say in it. The ones left behind never do. I know it was the way you wanted it to be & I have to learn to respect you for that. I am thankful for all that I have been through. It has made me the person I am today because of it.
October 4~ The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; he leads me beside still waters; he restores my soul. When I was a child, I had my favorite blanket. I took that blanket everywhere, wrapping myself in its warmth & comfort. Now I am all grown up, & you, God, are the one I turn to for warmth & comfort. Like that blanket, I know all I have to do is call you & you will wrap your love around me & make me feel safe & snug. I am your child still. No matter how old I get, I will always need you to watch over me. For you, God, are my permanent security blanket, my safe harbor from the storm. You are my rock, my home. God sends an abundant amount of strength & grace to all those who suffer. I am learning this daily. I never was like this or close to my faith as I am now. I thank God for this. I also thank Mark too ( and my neighbor Ms. Betty ). I will do everything I can & have to so that 1 day I will be reunite with you Tyler, & all our family & friends that have passed along the way. That is a promise to you that I will keep forever!
October 5~ [ Jesus said, ] " I am the good shepherd. I know my own & my own knows me, just as the Father knows me & I know the Father: And I lay down my life for the sheep." I know that when I wander away from you, dear God, you always come & get me. Like a loving shepherd watching over his flock, you gently nudge me back in the right direction to keep me from harm. Sometimes I admit I refuse to listen to those nudgings, & I get into some kind of trouble because of it. But then, dear God, you always turn my attention back to you & the loving guidance you offer me. Thank you for being my shepherd, my guardian, & my heavenly Father, Amen. Again, God, thank you for all you do for myself, my soon to be husband, my family & friends ( pets too ). I am humble to have what I do & I take nothing for granted.
Wow Ty... the evening sky is now dark. The stars & moon have been shining quite brightly these last few nights. It makes me smile to know that you are around me & watching over your Momma. I always whisper to you. I hope you hear me. I hope you know just how much you are loved & missed by Mom & so many of our family & friends. I don't think no matter what I can do or say the whole & void that is left in my heart will never stop. No one will ever fill it again. You were the one & only. I will be walking Snickers in a bit. I will be looking forward to the brightly lit sky tonight. I will whisper to you again. Be listening out for me. I hope that you have a wonderful evening. May you have sweet dreams my sweet precious son. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, October 1, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope you are well with all that you are doing & needing to do. Mom is doing ok today. Still not completely up to snuff, but I am doing somewhat better! I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you a lot lately, but I know you see what I am going through daily so I know you understand. I hope you are beside me & giving me lots of hugs & kisses because boy do I need them from you. I miss you so much. I love you beyond life itself.
Other than me being under the weather things are going well. All of our family is doing well too. Thank you so much for watching over us like you do. It means so much to Mom & everyone. I have a few prayers to write to you so let me get to it right now!
September 29~ For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name is great among the nations, & in every place incense is offered to my name, & a pure offering; for my name is great among the nations, says the Lord of hosts. Like the low-lying fog that seeps over the mountains & blankets the countryside, grief seems to pervade every part of me each time it comes. I can't think clearly, see clearly, or move freely being encumbered by this fog. But you, O Lord, eventually send the sun. Slowly, gratefully, the fog begins to lift. And as it does, it leaves in its place your healing comfort....& the hope to go on. Thank you, Lord. There be no potion so powerful as the certain belief that something good can happen tomorrow. Oh Tyler..... Grief is something that I can relate to since you left. I grieve everyday for you & I can't stop. Some days are better than others, but I feel it all the time. I am not myself & I never will be again. There are days that I can't make a single decision, I can't & have no energy to do a thing. I am trying to make changes but they are a slow process. I do thank God for the times that I can. I also thank you as I know you are helping me along the way. I will forever just take one day at a time.
September 30~ Be strong, be courageous, & keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways....so that you may prosper in all that you do & wherever you turn. How do I handle this situation, heavenly Father? I have tried my ways & my ways rarely work out well. I know that your thoughts are far superior to my thoughts & that your ways are far better than my my ways. And so Lord, I pray for your guidance & the will to carry out your directions. Let me be a channel for your purpose & your will in this situation, knowing that I surrender my problems to you, they are already resolved in the best way possible. Amen. Begin to weave & God will give the thread. I have such a hard time handling things in my life. I have just recently learned to just let it go & give it to God. I let him take care of it so I don't have to stress out.
October 1~ I said " I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," & you forgave the guilt of my sin. Heavenly Father, I know I need you not only to forgive my sin but also to forgive the guilt I feel because of it. When I feel guilty, I keep dredging up my sins as if they weren't really forgiven. I'm truly sorry if that insults & offends you, Lord. You have told me again & again that I am forgiven. I thank you with my whole heart for not only forgiving me but for taking away the guilt of my sins. Only when we are ready to relinquish the hurt is there an opportunity for forgiveness & healing to begin. Please forgive me for all my sins that I have committed & commit every day. I ask your forgiveness daily. Thank you, Lord.
The night sky is completely darken now as I finish my letter to you. Snickers will have to go for a walk very soon so I will look for the stars & the moon shining brightly. Regardless if I see them or not I will whisper to you so I hope you will be hearing Mom. I hope you have a wonderful & peaceful night. Fly high & fly freely my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope you are well with all that you are doing & needing to do. Mom is doing ok today. Still not completely up to snuff, but I am doing somewhat better! I am so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you a lot lately, but I know you see what I am going through daily so I know you understand. I hope you are beside me & giving me lots of hugs & kisses because boy do I need them from you. I miss you so much. I love you beyond life itself.
Other than me being under the weather things are going well. All of our family is doing well too. Thank you so much for watching over us like you do. It means so much to Mom & everyone. I have a few prayers to write to you so let me get to it right now!
September 29~ For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name is great among the nations, & in every place incense is offered to my name, & a pure offering; for my name is great among the nations, says the Lord of hosts. Like the low-lying fog that seeps over the mountains & blankets the countryside, grief seems to pervade every part of me each time it comes. I can't think clearly, see clearly, or move freely being encumbered by this fog. But you, O Lord, eventually send the sun. Slowly, gratefully, the fog begins to lift. And as it does, it leaves in its place your healing comfort....& the hope to go on. Thank you, Lord. There be no potion so powerful as the certain belief that something good can happen tomorrow. Oh Tyler..... Grief is something that I can relate to since you left. I grieve everyday for you & I can't stop. Some days are better than others, but I feel it all the time. I am not myself & I never will be again. There are days that I can't make a single decision, I can't & have no energy to do a thing. I am trying to make changes but they are a slow process. I do thank God for the times that I can. I also thank you as I know you are helping me along the way. I will forever just take one day at a time.
September 30~ Be strong, be courageous, & keep the charge of the Lord your God, walking in his ways....so that you may prosper in all that you do & wherever you turn. How do I handle this situation, heavenly Father? I have tried my ways & my ways rarely work out well. I know that your thoughts are far superior to my thoughts & that your ways are far better than my my ways. And so Lord, I pray for your guidance & the will to carry out your directions. Let me be a channel for your purpose & your will in this situation, knowing that I surrender my problems to you, they are already resolved in the best way possible. Amen. Begin to weave & God will give the thread. I have such a hard time handling things in my life. I have just recently learned to just let it go & give it to God. I let him take care of it so I don't have to stress out.
October 1~ I said " I will confess my transgressions to the Lord," & you forgave the guilt of my sin. Heavenly Father, I know I need you not only to forgive my sin but also to forgive the guilt I feel because of it. When I feel guilty, I keep dredging up my sins as if they weren't really forgiven. I'm truly sorry if that insults & offends you, Lord. You have told me again & again that I am forgiven. I thank you with my whole heart for not only forgiving me but for taking away the guilt of my sins. Only when we are ready to relinquish the hurt is there an opportunity for forgiveness & healing to begin. Please forgive me for all my sins that I have committed & commit every day. I ask your forgiveness daily. Thank you, Lord.
The night sky is completely darken now as I finish my letter to you. Snickers will have to go for a walk very soon so I will look for the stars & the moon shining brightly. Regardless if I see them or not I will whisper to you so I hope you will be hearing Mom. I hope you have a wonderful & peaceful night. Fly high & fly freely my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
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