Princess!

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing alright but I am dragging butt. Last night was quiet with Mark being gone to the college. I went into the bedroom at 6:30 pm after I got the pups fed, walked and I ate dinner. I just wanted to relax and do nothing. I did chat with Grandpa for a bit. He is so high strung for some reason. He just doesn't seem like he is happy and that makes Mom very sad. I hope that I am wrong. Debbie doesn't seem happy at all either. After I spoke to them, I watched tv until 10 pm and then decided to call it a night. I fell asleep around 10:30ish just to be woken up when Mark got home at 11:15 pm. Because he was angry at Mom... he turned on the lights and then made so much noise. Mom got to sleep again around 12:30 am. I didn't sleep well. I was up at 6:30 am though. Pups were fed and walked and then Mom sat downstairs and chatted with Meme for a bit before going upstairs to get ready to start the day. I was showered and done by 9:30 am. I came right into my office to do a lot of things but really nothing got done. I checked emails and chatted with Aunt Beck as today is her Birthday! I spoke to Auntie Kristina as well. After that I got lunch and then did more emails. I was so tired, I closed my door, put on calming music and then fell asleep in my glider rocker for about an hour. I am more tired now then before. It is super quiet. Mark is not talking to anyone. Meme and Bob tried but he just walked right by. He has said nothing to me at all either. Whatever. He is in that cycle yet again...not talking, ignoring us all, throwing items away because he can. He was suppose to go get his vehicle today but he didn't. They are not open on the weekends either. Our realtor called and said she was trying to get Mark but he was ignoring her so she called me. The appraisal came back great for the new home and the appraisal for this house is I guess scheduled for Monday. We are supposed to close on the 25th but the realtor said something about the buyers may not be able to then when they are the ones who requested that date. We may have to push the closing to April 8th now...which was the original date to begin with. We are all set and Mom has booked everything to be installed...security, cable, internet, etc...along with us being all packed and ready to go plus the movers are booked too... I know you are working hard on this for mom. If there is anything that can be done to have this closing date still being set for the 25th we would really love it, Tyler. Can you help Mom out? Thanks pumpkin. I guess we will know more on Monday. Our fingers are crossed that is for sure! 

Not only today Aunt Beck's Birthday but it is also our little Ms. Princess' Gotcha Day. We got her 7 years ago today. Wow...7 years. That means that we got Ozzy 2 weeks later and it will be around the time we are suppose to be moving. Hard to believe that time has passed so quickly. She is doing good still. She is slowing down as she is 16 years old and getting white but she is still spunky and spoiled rotten...lol. Tonight, she will get a special treat for dinner for her special day!

Aunt Beck told me that when Forrest was visiting her and John a week or so ago, that when he arrived he told her that you were there just hanging out at their house. That is so cool. I know you watch over us all and I thank you for that. You are so amazing, my sweet precious son. Always have been and I know you always will be! I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. 

Mom will light the candle warmer this evening for you. After dinner is done and cleaned up, Mom will probably just go to the bedroom and watch tv. I have a feeling it will be a very early night for me to get some sleep not to mention a quiet one. If I had to guess, Mark will stay in his office and play on the computer and drink all night long and then come to bed when he is tired. He is back at the college again all day Sunday...yup...he didn't stick to his word to Mom like he said he would and after the exam for the students, he would be done. He is still continuing to choose the college over me and everything else. I am still processing this whole thing. I am done with being hurt by him though. He gave me his word and now his words mean nothing to me. His actions proved that. I told him last time that after the 7th of this month and if he continued after telling me he wouldn't then there was going to be big changes. He doesn't care about my feelings or anyone else's for that matter...it is all about him and what is convenient for him at that given time. I guess I have learned that over the last 9 years. Sad but true. Anyways... Saturday is the only day he is around for the weekend and he will make sure to hole himself up where he won't be around any of us at all. I am sure it will be a very quiet day! Mom will probably just stay away from him and leave him alone and Sunday I will go do the shopping that is needed...groceries, etc... He will have to take an Uber car to the college again and Mom is not sorry for that at all. I will keep you posted on everything though and I will write to you over the weekend. I will be getting things set for my boxes to be curated this coming week. 

I need to get going for now thought as it is 4:41 pm and the pups will need to be fed and walked here in about 15 minutes. I will whisper to you tonight before I fall asleep so smile for Mom and I will smile to you. Have fun tonight while Mom rests. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams. I miss you more than ever and more than words can ever say...

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙

 

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? It is after 2 pm already. This day is flying by for sure. Mom was up super early this morning...5:30 am and I couldn't get back to sleep. I had slept so well last night...I didn't even get up once to use the bathroom...lol! That is totally unusual for Mom! Yesterday was a busy day again here and it was also 7 years for you receiving Snickers back. I can't believe that 7 years have passed for him and Max too and in 3 month and 9 days it will be 8 years for you being gone. Tough days but Mom gets by! I try to make you proud of me. I hope I am doing a good job, Ty!

Last night I had a wonderful conversation with someone you met! I hear that you met Brian and that made me smile. I had asked him to go to the new house to do some reiki for Mom and he said that you were there doing things and prepping things for Mom. Brian spoke very highly of you and he thought you were awesome! He said that you were such a bright white light and a confident young man. I have no doubt about that at all. It amazed Mom that he got to see you and met you. Thank you for doing all the prep work for Mom before our arrival in 2 weeks. That means the world to me. I was told that you were setting several energy barriers for us all. You truly are incredible and Mom is so proud of you. I got the message loud and clear that you send me signs through nature. The wind, a slight breeze, a sunset, the stars, the prisms that appear. I knew some of it was you but not all but I do now! It makes me smile. Thank you so much. Brian had me in awe and smiling the entire time. Not one tear was shed. I felt at ease and so peaceful while he was talking about you. I told Meme about it this morning and I did have a good cry then... they were happy tears not sad ones. I know you do great things wherever you are or needed. I also have no doubt about that either. You were always an old soul. A caring soul right from the start. I know you are at peace and you are not ever wanting to come back here to this world...I don't blame you, pumpkin! I understand completely. I miss you... I miss you so much. I know we can't be together and do things but I know you watch over me and keep me safe and healthy. Thank you so much for that too. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are and always will be my biggest hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Oh... I do have a question for you though.... Brian told me that you are not in a chair, you are tall and thin just like your Dad and that you look nothing like your pictures that I have of you...lol. No more spiked hair? Trying something new with shoulder-length wavy hair now? Hearing that made me chuckle...lol! Oh how I wish that I could see that. You do you, Tyler. Have fun with all the things you have to do and with things that you want to do. Continue to fly free for eternity!

Mom will light the candle for you right now and later this evening the candle warmer will be on for you too. I will whisper to you before I fall asleep. Smile when you hear my voice and I will smile back to you. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. You know Mom would love that. Thanks! I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. For now, I have to continue to buy furniture for the new house and get it shipped  here before 2 weeks. I did some already but have a bit more to do now. Thank you for taking the stress away and validating that everything will work out. I will remain positive and happy through the next 2 weeks of living here. I know better days and happiness are ahead for us and I look forward to that. I did get the chat about when we put the pool in... I will be very careful. Promise! 

I have to get going now though. Time here is ticking and I have to do all that I need to in the next couple hours plus make a couple calls. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you with all my heart.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is so busy and I apologize that I didn't write to you again yesterday but honestly there was just not enough time in the day or night to do it. I felt guilty but I know you see everything and you understand where I am coming from.

Yesterday, Mom started her day at 7 am. Pups were fed and walked and then I got ready and ran errands for about an hour. I got home and came into the office and started on phone calls. Mom was literally on the phone from 11 am until 4:30 pm and then again from 6:30 pm until 9:30 pm. I have just 2 hours break to feed the pups, walk them and get dinner myself while Mark was on the road to the college again. It was crazy. I went upstairs at 10 pm and crashed at 10:30 pm. I was so tired. I didn't sleep well though. I hope to get better sleep tonight. 

Mom has been up since 7 am again and after the pups were set, I came right into my office and started the phone calls again. I think I made about 5 calls and the rest were done online which was easier...but there were about 20 of them to do. I finished around 3 pm and phone calls were still coming in along with emails. We are getting down to the wire. We have 2 weeks tomorrow before we leave and move. We have a lot of things to still do and get finalized. We will get it done. Most of the hard parts are over with. All the address changes and the packing are done except for 2 or 3 boxes. I can have that done in less than an hour and then go over it again just to make sure I didn't miss anything. The rest of the time is just waiting around and Mom working on her April boxes. I have a couple errands to run tomorrow morning and then I am back home and working on the rest of this stuff. I will be curating boxes for my business all next week so that will be fun and the week after it will be a short week...we will have 3 days left here and then movers will come and we will be leaving this place behind us and starting our new adventures. I know that Meme is scared and nervous but the rest of us are not. We are excited and anxious to get out of here! We look forward to a tiny town again and peace and quiet. Mom will be ordering furniture tomorrow morning and getting it here for our move. I will probably be trying to put stuff together before hand so it is less work on the new house! We shall see!!! I will keep you posted!

Mom will call Grandpa tonight. I will check in as I have not heard from him at all. I texted Aunt Donna again today to see how she was and I finally got a response back. Not what I expected though but oh well. She basically said that she is depressed and sad and alone. Everyone deserted her including me and she thought that I would be the one person who wouldn't. I told her that I didn't desert her and I have been trying to get her with no response back. I also told her it was a 2 way street and just not for me to always be the one. She shot back saying that I didn't get it that she was depressed and sad and didn't want to reach out to people and people should be reaching out to here only. I kindly told her that she needs to get over that crap. I am sorry that she is grieving the loss of her dad still and she is depressed. I wish that on no one. It is hard but I told her that she needs to try. I will not be the only one and I will not be spoken to like that from her or anyone. I put it back in her face saying that I am always there for everyone but when I need someone no one is there. Where was everyone when I lost you, Tyler? They were busy with their life and couldn't bother with me. I did it all on my own. Aunt Donna needs to do the same or she will never be able to live her life. She never responded back to me after I wrote that because she knows it is the truth. I don't want to hear it. I have a feeling I won't hear from her again or anytime soon. C'est La Vie. Everyone else did the same thing to me in NH so nothing new on my end! Live and learn and not dwell on things. That is what needs to be done to more forward and not backwards. I learned that from you. Mom will let you know if she contacts me again.

It is already after 5 pm and Mom must get going. I have to feed the pups and walk them and then get dinner going for us. Mark is still working. I think it will be a long night that is for sure. Maybe if we are lucky we can relax a bit before going to bed. I will whisper to you later so smile when you hear me and I will smile back to you. Mom has had a candle burning for you all day today. I will light the warmer later as well. Have fun while I sleep and come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thanks. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. Until then....good night and sweet dreams. I miss you more than words my sweet precious son.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖