Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Mom is as always running late tonight as I just finished up studying & taking part of my final exam. It is already 5 pm & Mom has not even started making dinner or fed the pups at this time. I have a few minutes to write to you before I need to go start all the night routine stuff.
 I wish Mom could say that I was in a better mood but I would be lying if I said really was. Last night I did not sleep again & when I did I had terrible dreams of you that for some reason I can't shake off. It was so nice to see you in my dreams but not that way & I am not sure why I did dream what I did. It made me so sad & I was very upset. For some reason you did't even call me Mom you called me by my first name. I really hope that I don't have any more dreams like that because it really messed Mom up. The rest of the day didn't get any better.... in the morning Mom had to do some trouble shooting because of a message that Meme wrote to Bean. She thought it was to her privately & it didn't go that way. It was for all to see. What a mess but after a little bit it was all fixed & all is well. The message got deleted & Meme & Bean actually spoke on the phone. Mark left this morning & went to his office earlier than what I thought he would be going. I guess I misunderstood him & that set us up for a fight. When he got home later this afternoon, Mom was studying & received a phone call. He came into my office to chat with me after & it was not good news. He heard back from the gentleman that he had been waiting for & what we were hoping that would be a positive change for him & us both is not going to happen now. He is very discouraged & so is Mom. Things were told to him last week & really he was given false hope. That was very mean & rude of them but nothing we can do now because it is a done deal. These are the times were Mom does not understand life at all. Why can't good things happen for Mark? For Mark & Mom? Why are things almost always a disappointment? I know things always happen for a reason but just once it would be nice for him to get good news, news that he was excited about for the last week. To say the least Mark is not talking to me or anyone for that matter. He is just staying quiet & shutting down. That is not good but I will not push the issue either. When he wants to talk I will be there to listen. Guess it is going to be an early night for us & a quiet one for that matter. Meme & Bob go to the doctors tomorrow so hopefully things will be good for him. Aunt Beck & I will be touching base tomorrow as well. Her & John will be heading out at the end of next week to go camping in Maine as they do every year. That will be nice as the weather is so warm. Bean is doing well & once again on track to get a place of her own. Mom hasn't spoken to her but maybe in the next couple days I will. Haven't spoken to Grandpa in a few nights so I am sure to hear from them soon. They are probably busy with work & getting things in place for his new shed & car port to arrive. That is all Mom has for you tonight for updates. 
 Here is a couple prayers for you today: May you--more and more in the days ahead--take your cues from God (and not from culture), and become a powerful, praying saint! May you dream big dreams with God! May you pray prayers that make your knees buckle and your heart tremble as you entrust your whole soul and story to the God of the Universe. He intends to solve some of the world's problems through you. When the enemy comes in like a flood, the Lord raises a standard against him. This is no time for cowering in fear. This is a time to rise up in faith! Trust God's Word. Believe His promises. Do what He says. And in due time, you'll see the waters part, the mountains move, and the answers you've been waiting for. You are mighty in God. Walk full-of-faith today!
  May you be honest with God about the hurts in your heart. May you discern the difference between grief and self-pity. May you be okay with not always being okay. God will one day wipe away every tear from your eyes, but until then, He wants to help you walk this journey with peace in your heart and assurance in your soul. He is with you. He will heal you. And He will one day turn your mourning into dancing and your sorrow into songs of joy. In the meantime, enjoy the little graces you find along the way. Celebrate the small victories. Dare to dream. And take one step at a time. You’re going to be okay. Blessings on your night tonight!
Mom knows that this letter to you is not really a long one tonight & I apologize but Mom needs to get going & feed the pups & get dinner ready for Mark & I. I will whisper to you as I always do every night so be listening for my voice. Hope you will be smiling at Mom when you do hear me. Maybe tonight I will see the stars & moon & perhaps you will get your brushes out & paint me a really stunning sunset this evening. Mom will be looking later for one! Hope you have a fun night while I try to sleep. Come be with Mom if you can. Tyler, I miss you so much & wish you were here. I could really use one of your pep talks to me. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are forever inside my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. That will never change! Mom will be back tomorrow night with another letter. Until than...Good night & sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday late afternoon? Mom is doing fine I suppose. Just needed a mental break as I have been studying all afternoon & took another exam. I got a 91% on this one. 25 questions & they were worth 4 pts a piece so I don't think I did too shabby. It puts my grade at a 93 still. Tomorrow will be a tough one as I will be doing my final exam for this whole class. There are 100 questions to it. Wish me luck, Tyler! 
 Mom is not sure what is going on lately but I am not really getting a lot of good solid sleep. I try but it is just not happening. Guess I have a lot going on in my head right now. Mark still has not heard anything from the man is he hoping to regarding the appointment still. They had said he would hear something Monday & he didn't & he did not hear anything from him today either. Mom is trying to stay positive but I have to admit I am getting a little discouraged about the whole thing. I guess I just want this for him so bad & for the both if us. So much is riding on it. I guess I need to have patience & sometimes that is just hard for Mom to do. Meme called me today on her lunch break like she normally does. She was still saying that Bob was not feeling right. Guess he went to the doctors & he has another appointment on Thursday so hopefully they can figure it all out & Bob can be back to feeling better. Meme is going to the Chiropractor this evening so hopefully she will feel better & her hip won't bother her so much. Aunt Beck called last night & we spoke for awhile. It was great catching up with her. She was saying that her & John have company for a few days. She has been staying busy & I filled her in on everything that is going on here. She was telling me that Bean is doing well. She was visiting her & John for 4 days. She is still having trouble finding a place but she will eventually. Guess she is still seeing the guy she met. Things are going good there. Hopefully I will get the chance to catch up with her sometime soon. Princess is doing better. This is day 5 of no seizure activity so Mom is very thankful for that. Mark is busy as always. His job has him all over the place all the time lately. It is concerning but nothing can be done right now. he was gone today & will be gone the rest of the week as well. You know Mom I worry about everyone. Mom hasn't chatted with Grandpa since Saturday so I am sure he will be calling tonight or tomorrow night. I hope things are better with him. Again... Mom worries. Please watch over us all. I know you do but I always like to ask. Thank you, Ty! That is all the updates I have for you at this time. 
 I owe you a couple prayers since I didn't do one yesterday so here they are:
 May God Himself overwhelm you with His goodness and His grace. May He open doors NO man can close! May your steps be so ordered by the Lord that you’re always in the right place at the right time. May the power of the Holy Spirit compel you to live by faith, to take great risks, and to believe for GREAT things. May that same Holy Spirit constrain you to trust God’s timing, to obey Him when it doesn’t suit you, and to refuse to take matters into your own hands. He's a wonderful Father and you can trust Him.
  May you begin to see your setbacks as temporary, your delays as detours, and your heartbreaks as opportunities to experience God's precious, powerful healing. And in the meantime, may God give you glimpses of glory, insights into His good plan for you. Be assured that God has never left your side; He’ll never let you go. May God help you see with supernatural insight so that you won't be deceived by the enemy of your soul, or by your past painful filters, or by your fears of the future. In fact, right here--in this place--may your divine perspective hugely inspire your faith steps. You are mighty in God and He is mighty in you.
 Here are a couple inspirational messages for you as well:
 To make the right choices in life, you have to get in touch with your soul. To do this, you need to experience solitude, which most people are afraid of, because in the silence you hear the truth & know the solutions.
 The 3 C's in life: Choice, Chance, Change. You must make the Choice to, to take the Chance, if you want anything in life to Change.
 Mom is hoping that tonight you have fun while I try to get some much needed sleep. Please be with me. Mom needs you my sweet precious son. Thank you so much. May you get the chance to do all the things you want to do & need to do. I will whisper to you later this evening so be listening out for my voice. I will smile & hope you will too. Maybe there will be a chance tonight that I see a sunset, the stars & moon. I looked last night & there was nothing. I will be sure to look tonight! 
 It is that time of day where Mom needs to get going & get the night routine started. I need to figure out what to have for dinner & then make it plus feed the pups. Maybe I will get a chance to sit outside before coming in & relaxing while watching TV.
 Remember that you are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. I miss you so much....more than words can say. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter so until then....good night & sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!