Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? It is 3:30 pm and Mom is just having a rough day today. I am not with it at all. My night last night was anything but relaxing and even though I did sleep for a few hours it was not enough. My head is in a fog today and I can get out under my own feet. The morning was about the same as usual. fed the pups, walked them and then came inside and relaxed. Mark was on the phone with his brother at 9 am and Meme and Bob were gone to one of Bob's appointments. The house was pretty quiet for the most part. That was nice. Mom had breakfast and shortly after I was not feeling good again. I have been feeling that way all day long. I was suppose to go to a nail appointment this afternoon but I cancelled it because I just didn't want to take the chance and honestly I am glad that I did. I am trying to stay as hydrated as I can. I have been drinking mostly water and now a ginger ale. I think I am doing good on that. I however am still having a bit of a hard time when eating. Nothing still wants to stay in. I know that is a combo of nerves and stress right now. I don't feel sick like I did last week kind of sick. That is a very good thing. Mom is not sleeping enough, I am busy with the business now and then I am stress and worried over Mark and him finding a job plus juggling everything else...meme, Bob, the pups, housework, etc.... Mom hasn't even sat outside in the sun or been in the pool in over 1 month. The weather hasn't been good enough on the weekend and this weekend will be no exception. Rain for 4 days straight at 60 %. We will get the rain. This makes 5 months straight of mostly all rain. Mom is looking forward to a couple of days when I can go in the pool and sit outside and relax.
Last night was horrible. We fed the pups, walked them, ate dinner and Mom did the clean up. The renters next door still had the same schedule...gone all day and partying all night long. We sat downstairs for a short time but not long as the AC unit down there was not working and it was quite hot. We came upstairs, got the night routine done and then Mark and Mom watched a bit of tv. We couldn't even enjoy ourselves as the renters were so loud. At 10 pm. Mom called the police on them. Next thing I know is that I am getting a text saying that a couple houses from us just got egged. Police went by, didn't stop and didn't even acknowledge the issue that was going on. Mom called the police back 20 minutes later and told them I saw the first one just drive by and do nothing and the noise was still super loud and going on. I made sure they knew I was beyond angry. I was so tired but couldn't sleep because of them. They finally settled down at midnight. Oh and then our AC upstairs shit out as well. Yup... nothing like a complete cluster of things happening....ugh. The renters better not try the same tonight or I will call the police every 30 minutes if I have to. I am not playing around anymore. I am tired of them, the renters, the whole place here. It is sickening that we have to go through this. We pay a lot of money for several people to sit on their *sses and get paid. Stay tuned on tomorrows letter to see what happens tonight....lol
The AC guy is here now. He has been here for the last 90 minutes. Guess there are definitely major issues with both units so that is good that he is here to try and fix it but not good because we keep having the same issues all the time. It is like clockwork...every 3 months. We got to start catching a break here soon. We are trying to keep our heads held high and think positive but it is tough. We are doing the best we can. Hopefully the guy will be done soon as it will be time for Mom to feed the pups and make dinner. I am hoping to relax tonight so that I can get some much needed solid sleep. Please watch over us, Tyler. Knowing that you are keeping us safe and healthy is a huge thing for Mom. I am trying my best. I hope that you can see that, pumpkin. I hope that I am making you proud.
You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. I love you more than anything, Tyler. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. I miss you beyond any words that I can express. Mom will light your candle this evening and I will whisper to you later. Smile when you hear Mom. I will smile back to you. Mom wanted to write a bit more to you but I can't and I am sorry. I just had a call come in telling us what needed to be fixed on the AC units will not be covered under our warranty and that it is going to cost over $500.00 out of our pocket. Just another thing that makes things rough for us all. Mom just wants to sit and cry. I don't understand why all this is happening to us. We need help badly 😢 Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then...good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙
Tuesday, August 4, 2020
Monday, August 3, 2020
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is doing alright today. I was able to get some sleep last night so that was helpful. We were all up early this morning. It did not start out the way any of us thought it would though. Fed the pups, walked them and when we went outside.... someone had fun throwing and smashing eggs in our driveway and on the grass. It went 2 houses down, in the road and on the sidewalks. This is so disgusting. I addressed it to the Management company and she told me it wasn't her issue. She was quite childish about it and she told Mom that she was a liar. I am a lot of things but a liar is definitely not one of them. I despise people who lie. I sent her a message back informing her I was not lying and I didn't appreciate that I was called one. She retorted back with an email that could be considered bullying. I have it all and will be keeping it so if I need it at some point I will use it. Mom is done with that company and the Property Manager here. I have no use for any of them. We tell them what is going on here, they tell us that the renters have all say in what they do and they will not do anything about it. How sad. I can not wait until it is time to move out of this hell. I thought where we lived in NH was bad but this is worse. Guess it shows that it happens everywhere, no matter where you live. Mom is just keeping to herself from now on and if anyone bothers me I will be telling them to leave me the hell alone. I want no part of this place. I will pay the bills I need to but that is it. I will call the Sheriff every hour if I have to on noise near me. I am done with the childish games! If that crap wasn't enough.... after we walked the pups, we were in the kitchen and Meme said something about getting her dog off the floor. I told her she could put him down. She yelled back...."No". I simply said "are you ever going to let him be a dog?" She told me not to f*ing start with her as she was in no mood. Her tone was sharp and mean. I told her to watch herself when she is in my home. I told her that she was not changing her ways with the dog and she yelled out that nothing else was f*ing changing either. i told her that if she was going to make that statement she better have something to back it up. She came back with...." Mark is still playing video games and on the computer all the time." Well, that was the wrong thing to say for sure. I told her that the money she paid us to live here and she just started last month and got 8 months free was not anything that would get her in a hotel so she better watch what she says. Mark was so mad that he went outside with the pups again and took them for a long walk. He has said nothing at all to her today. I don't think he is going to. He is beyond pissed right now and rightfully so. It is the same thing over and over here. They really should have moved when they had that small place. It would have been better for everyone. I kept trying to tell them to just go but no one wanted to listen to me. So frustrating at times. I guess time will tell now if we all will be on our butts and homeless in a month. Mark has to find a job. He started over the weekend but because of this Covid crap things are scarce right now. Mom will keep her fingers crossed that something happens quickly for him. I know he is stress right out. I say nothing but I can see it and feel it. This is not a happy home again at all. Mom is scared, Tyler. I really am.
Mom found something that I wanted to share with you again. It is so beautiful. I think I have shared it on here before but it has been awhile since. Here it is:
To Hard to say Goodbye:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is doing alright today. I was able to get some sleep last night so that was helpful. We were all up early this morning. It did not start out the way any of us thought it would though. Fed the pups, walked them and when we went outside.... someone had fun throwing and smashing eggs in our driveway and on the grass. It went 2 houses down, in the road and on the sidewalks. This is so disgusting. I addressed it to the Management company and she told me it wasn't her issue. She was quite childish about it and she told Mom that she was a liar. I am a lot of things but a liar is definitely not one of them. I despise people who lie. I sent her a message back informing her I was not lying and I didn't appreciate that I was called one. She retorted back with an email that could be considered bullying. I have it all and will be keeping it so if I need it at some point I will use it. Mom is done with that company and the Property Manager here. I have no use for any of them. We tell them what is going on here, they tell us that the renters have all say in what they do and they will not do anything about it. How sad. I can not wait until it is time to move out of this hell. I thought where we lived in NH was bad but this is worse. Guess it shows that it happens everywhere, no matter where you live. Mom is just keeping to herself from now on and if anyone bothers me I will be telling them to leave me the hell alone. I want no part of this place. I will pay the bills I need to but that is it. I will call the Sheriff every hour if I have to on noise near me. I am done with the childish games! If that crap wasn't enough.... after we walked the pups, we were in the kitchen and Meme said something about getting her dog off the floor. I told her she could put him down. She yelled back...."No". I simply said "are you ever going to let him be a dog?" She told me not to f*ing start with her as she was in no mood. Her tone was sharp and mean. I told her to watch herself when she is in my home. I told her that she was not changing her ways with the dog and she yelled out that nothing else was f*ing changing either. i told her that if she was going to make that statement she better have something to back it up. She came back with...." Mark is still playing video games and on the computer all the time." Well, that was the wrong thing to say for sure. I told her that the money she paid us to live here and she just started last month and got 8 months free was not anything that would get her in a hotel so she better watch what she says. Mark was so mad that he went outside with the pups again and took them for a long walk. He has said nothing at all to her today. I don't think he is going to. He is beyond pissed right now and rightfully so. It is the same thing over and over here. They really should have moved when they had that small place. It would have been better for everyone. I kept trying to tell them to just go but no one wanted to listen to me. So frustrating at times. I guess time will tell now if we all will be on our butts and homeless in a month. Mark has to find a job. He started over the weekend but because of this Covid crap things are scarce right now. Mom will keep her fingers crossed that something happens quickly for him. I know he is stress right out. I say nothing but I can see it and feel it. This is not a happy home again at all. Mom is scared, Tyler. I really am.
Mom found something that I wanted to share with you again. It is so beautiful. I think I have shared it on here before but it has been awhile since. Here it is:
To Hard to say Goodbye:
Every time I close my eyes
You'll all that I can see
I hold you in my heart
and know you're watching over me
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the times
It's too hard to say goodbye
From you I learned it all
You would never let me fall
Love won't come undone
Between a MOTHER & her SON
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the times
It's too hard to say goodbye
There will come a day
I'll have to walk alone
And I'll have to make it on my own
You taught me all there is to know
Mom...I'll never let you go
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
Just can't say goodbye
You'll all that I can see
I hold you in my heart
and know you're watching over me
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the times
It's too hard to say goodbye
From you I learned it all
You would never let me fall
Love won't come undone
Between a MOTHER & her SON
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the times
It's too hard to say goodbye
There will come a day
I'll have to walk alone
And I'll have to make it on my own
You taught me all there is to know
Mom...I'll never let you go
Standing by your side
It felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day
And fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
Just can't say goodbye
I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will write to you again tomorrow. I will whisper to you later this evening so smile to me and I will smile to you. Your candle will be lit as well. Have fun while I sleep tonight and come visit if you can in my dreams. Please watch over us all. Keep us safe and healthy. Thank you, pumpkin. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams. It is time for Mom to start the night routine.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖
Sunday, August 2, 2020
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you on this Sunday evening? Mom wanted to write to you quickly. I have had very little sleep last night due to our neighbors partying until 3 am and I am still not feeling 100% just yet. No fever anymore and no vomiting but my stomach is still really feeling yucky. I am trying to eat but my body is just not liking food right now. I know it is because of lack of sleep and so much stress that is going on. Mom did laundry and a few things this morning but not much. We watched an old movie this afternoon. Now the pups have been fed and walked so I am cooking dinner. It is pizza and fries night. One of your favorites. After dinner we will be watching another movie before it's time to go to bed. Mom has a lot of things to do later this evening and it is the post office tomorrow to send off 8 boxes. Mark will be busy with looking for work. He is sick too now. Stress is hitting us all hard here. I hope tgat things work out and a miracle happens for us. I am praying hard. Mom really is. Not much us today. We have been fortunate that the hurricane has stayed away from our area. That is a very good thing!
Mom will light your burner down here for you. I will whisper to you later this evening so when you hear Mom, smile for me and I will smile back to you. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. It is dinner time now. Please watch over us, Ty. Have fun while I sleep tonight. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 🤍
Hi pumpkin! How are you on this Sunday evening? Mom wanted to write to you quickly. I have had very little sleep last night due to our neighbors partying until 3 am and I am still not feeling 100% just yet. No fever anymore and no vomiting but my stomach is still really feeling yucky. I am trying to eat but my body is just not liking food right now. I know it is because of lack of sleep and so much stress that is going on. Mom did laundry and a few things this morning but not much. We watched an old movie this afternoon. Now the pups have been fed and walked so I am cooking dinner. It is pizza and fries night. One of your favorites. After dinner we will be watching another movie before it's time to go to bed. Mom has a lot of things to do later this evening and it is the post office tomorrow to send off 8 boxes. Mark will be busy with looking for work. He is sick too now. Stress is hitting us all hard here. I hope tgat things work out and a miracle happens for us. I am praying hard. Mom really is. Not much us today. We have been fortunate that the hurricane has stayed away from our area. That is a very good thing!
Mom will light your burner down here for you. I will whisper to you later this evening so when you hear Mom, smile for me and I will smile back to you. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. It is dinner time now. Please watch over us, Ty. Have fun while I sleep tonight. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 🤍
Saturday, August 1, 2020
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday afternoon? Mom is so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you in the last few days. The night of your Birthday, Mom made your favorite dinner...tacos and then had cake and ice cream to celebrate you and I guess something did not agree. I was fine, went to bed and slept until 3 am and then it hit me... Mom was so sick. I was up until 3 pm vomiting and then from 3 pm I was sleeping as I did not sleep much the 2 days prior. I was exhausted to say the least. I did sleep Thursday night for a bit but I was up again every hour. I stayed in bed the last 2 days/nights. I am feeling better now. I haven't ate anything in 2 days but I am staying hydrated as much as I can. I am still fighting a bit of a fever too but I needed to write to you briefly to explain where Mom has been. Tyler... it was horrible. I hate being sick to begin with and this was down right horrific.... even the pups were scared 😢 I kept everyone up including, Mark. I felt so bad. yesterday I forced myself to stay awake though so I could sleep last night. I did ok until about 4:30 am and then I was awake off and on. What a mess. Guess I may have celebrated a bit much with your favorites that night. Mom will not be doing that again anytime soon that is for sure! Today is the first day in my office in 3 days. I had bills to pay and boxes to get set up. Mom has sold 1/2 her boxes already in just a week! I am super excited with this but not really showing it all that much. Yesterday, Ty, Mom and Mark got a sucker punch to the stomach. Mom was watching tv in the bedroom and Mark came in. He was pale white. I thought he was going to pass out on me. He said he needed to sit down. I turned tv off and waited for him to tell me what was wrong. he said he just spoke to his boss and as of 5 pm (30 minutes from the call) he was no longer employed. They were getting rid of 20 employees and for reasons not known, Mark was one of them. He was in shock. Mom was in shock. We don't know what we are going to do now. He can collect unemployment but that will only cover our mortgage and not any of our other bills. Mom is scared and I know Mark is as well but he is not showing it at all. This is the 2nd time in 4 months but this time he is not going back. There is no furlough. This is... you are terminated. They sent him an email with shipping labels to get all the equipment back. In his line of work it takes months to get a new job....we don't have months for this at all. We have less than 1 month. We are heartbroken to what is going on. Mark is a hard worker and he busts his *ss for that company. He just got them a huge contract from Florida and this is the way they repay him. Life is so hard right now. It is harsh. The covid19 numbers are still skyrocketing, Mom being sick for the past 2 days, now this with Mark and we are in a hurricane warning for Sunday and Monday. This is too much and we are being tested for sure again. This is the 4th time in 8 years that Mark and Mom have have to deal with this stuff. If there is anything you can do to help us out...please please please help us, Tyler. We need it. Mom will be praying like crazy. Mark needs to find a job and fast. We are scared like I said before. I love you so much and I miss you. When we would talk Mom would feel stable and at peace no matter what was going on. You helped Mom stay strong. You were my guiding light and my strength. I miss that. I miss you terribly. I feel lost every day since you left but now I feel even more lost. I wonder if things will be ok? I wonder will all of us become homeless? If so what then? Too many questions that is for sure. I keep saying it but Mom is very scared, pumpkin. We need help and we need help fast 😢 Mom will keep you posted on everything as I know. Please be with us as much as you can. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will try to write tomorrow but that depends on the weather. I will do my best. Mom needs to finish up a few things and then it will be time to lay down. My head is killing me and it is due to stress. I need to get better so that I can be strong for mark and support him in what is going on. I know you understand. I will light a candle later and whisper to you as well. Come visit Mom in my dreams if you can. Have fun while I sleep. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams later.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday afternoon? Mom is so sorry that I haven't been able to write to you in the last few days. The night of your Birthday, Mom made your favorite dinner...tacos and then had cake and ice cream to celebrate you and I guess something did not agree. I was fine, went to bed and slept until 3 am and then it hit me... Mom was so sick. I was up until 3 pm vomiting and then from 3 pm I was sleeping as I did not sleep much the 2 days prior. I was exhausted to say the least. I did sleep Thursday night for a bit but I was up again every hour. I stayed in bed the last 2 days/nights. I am feeling better now. I haven't ate anything in 2 days but I am staying hydrated as much as I can. I am still fighting a bit of a fever too but I needed to write to you briefly to explain where Mom has been. Tyler... it was horrible. I hate being sick to begin with and this was down right horrific.... even the pups were scared 😢 I kept everyone up including, Mark. I felt so bad. yesterday I forced myself to stay awake though so I could sleep last night. I did ok until about 4:30 am and then I was awake off and on. What a mess. Guess I may have celebrated a bit much with your favorites that night. Mom will not be doing that again anytime soon that is for sure! Today is the first day in my office in 3 days. I had bills to pay and boxes to get set up. Mom has sold 1/2 her boxes already in just a week! I am super excited with this but not really showing it all that much. Yesterday, Ty, Mom and Mark got a sucker punch to the stomach. Mom was watching tv in the bedroom and Mark came in. He was pale white. I thought he was going to pass out on me. He said he needed to sit down. I turned tv off and waited for him to tell me what was wrong. he said he just spoke to his boss and as of 5 pm (30 minutes from the call) he was no longer employed. They were getting rid of 20 employees and for reasons not known, Mark was one of them. He was in shock. Mom was in shock. We don't know what we are going to do now. He can collect unemployment but that will only cover our mortgage and not any of our other bills. Mom is scared and I know Mark is as well but he is not showing it at all. This is the 2nd time in 4 months but this time he is not going back. There is no furlough. This is... you are terminated. They sent him an email with shipping labels to get all the equipment back. In his line of work it takes months to get a new job....we don't have months for this at all. We have less than 1 month. We are heartbroken to what is going on. Mark is a hard worker and he busts his *ss for that company. He just got them a huge contract from Florida and this is the way they repay him. Life is so hard right now. It is harsh. The covid19 numbers are still skyrocketing, Mom being sick for the past 2 days, now this with Mark and we are in a hurricane warning for Sunday and Monday. This is too much and we are being tested for sure again. This is the 4th time in 8 years that Mark and Mom have have to deal with this stuff. If there is anything you can do to help us out...please please please help us, Tyler. We need it. Mom will be praying like crazy. Mark needs to find a job and fast. We are scared like I said before. I love you so much and I miss you. When we would talk Mom would feel stable and at peace no matter what was going on. You helped Mom stay strong. You were my guiding light and my strength. I miss that. I miss you terribly. I feel lost every day since you left but now I feel even more lost. I wonder if things will be ok? I wonder will all of us become homeless? If so what then? Too many questions that is for sure. I keep saying it but Mom is very scared, pumpkin. We need help and we need help fast 😢 Mom will keep you posted on everything as I know. Please be with us as much as you can. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will try to write tomorrow but that depends on the weather. I will do my best. Mom needs to finish up a few things and then it will be time to lay down. My head is killing me and it is due to stress. I need to get better so that I can be strong for mark and support him in what is going on. I know you understand. I will light a candle later and whisper to you as well. Come visit Mom in my dreams if you can. Have fun while I sleep. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams later.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖
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