Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today? I hope it is bright and sunny up there in Heaven. It is sure overcast and cloudy here again in Texas. Guess it is going to be this way until tomorrow. I actually can't wait to have the sun shining again. I know that those sunny days bring clear cloudless nights. That is my guarantee that I will see my bright star. Anyways... as you know I always whisper to you no matter if I see my star or not. Please always listen for Mom. I will always talk to you. I will never let you down.
Today is the day for the Election for Grandpa. My fingers and toes are all crossed that he wins! I have said a few prayers as well. I know you will do all that you can as well to make sure your Grandpa wins. I spoke to him today and he has been straight out all last week and yesterday picketing for his campaign. He will be calling me tonight to let me know either way. I hope it is wonderful news. I wish I could have been there to help him but I am there in spirit. Things like this show me just how much I am missing out. If I lived in NH still I would be doing all that I can to make sure he had all the things Grandpa needed and all the campaigning he needed to help him out. I did do all that I could from a far. I just hope it helped out. You are so lucky. You will know ahead of any of us if Grandpa wins or not :)
When Aunt Becky was here we chatted about Bean coming out to visit. It was suggested that when she does Meme should come with her. I thought it was a wonderful idea. I spoke to Meme last night and she really liked the idea. We are thinking February when it is cooler and not so hot and muggy. Meme doesn't do that well in the heat. I really hope that this will happen. I miss everyone so much. It makes me so sad to be so far away from our family and friends. I miss not being able to go and talk to you a your resting place. I know I can talk t you anywhere but it is just not the same. I hear that others do and I am so happy but so jealous at the same time. I want you to know that this Spring you will be getting a Flat Stone and a Sitting Bench. The stone will have your name and dates on it and I am thinking of putting a picture of you on one side and a picture of " Jack & Zero " on the other. It just seems fitting. The bench will have your picture and your dates on that as well. I want you to have the best and for Mom to make you proud and smile. It means a lot to me.
I miss you so much and I love you more than words or I can say. On FB every year for the month of November people are suppose to give " Thanks " to what means the most to them. Day 3 was dedicated to you. I will copy and paste what I wrote to you. Here it is:
Day 3: Tyler Howard ~ Where do I start with this.... I am so thankful that God chose me to be your Mom. What an honor it was to have gone through your life day to day with you. The memories I will cherish forever as that is all I have of you now. You were my world. You were my everything. You were and always will be my HERO! I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Thank you for being you, my son that gave so much and asked for nothing in return. I will forever be grateful for you giving and showing me what was unconditional love was all about.
I mean every word of it too. Please, tonight listen for my whispers to you. Sweet dreams my precious son. You are my forever. My one and only love. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Monday, November 4, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweetheart. How are you doing today? I hope that you are well on this rainy Monday afternoon. Aunt Becky & Uncle John left this morning around 6am. I really hated to see them go. When they drove off and I was in the apartment I cried because I didn't want them to leave. The 2 1/2 days went by way to fast for me. It was so nice to see family and have company. We had a really good time. We ate, drank wine & beer, listened to music, danced, and laughed all weekend. Sunday we took a 2 mile walk in the woods on these trails. We brought the pups. We all were impressed. Max n Snickers did so well, but boy are they tired today. I think Max may be a little ore as well. He was a trooper. Aunt Becky and I had some time alone to just sit and chat. It was really nice. We hadn't done that in years.I guess it made me sad to know that I won't see them again for a few months and we are back to being alone again. I spoke to Bean and she said she might take a trip out here in the Winter. I hope she does because I would love to spend time with her too! I miss her. I know she misses you too.
Oh yeah, before I forget... Tuesday ( tomorrow ) is the Election for Grandpa. I have posted some things on FB in hopes to get my friends out to vote for him. I hope he gets one of the 7 seats. I know Grandpa really wants this and he deserves it. He is doing it for all the right reasons. He will be amazing at this. Think this is his calling now! I am keeping my fingers crossed for him. If there is anything you can do from above Mom, and Grandpa too would be so thankful to you!
This Saturday, November 9th I will be going to the book signing for Theresa Caputo. I hope that your Spirit is strong and comes through so that I can receive a message from you while I am there. I would be so happy to hear from you. Thanks pumpkin.
Aunt Becky said that she could really feel your energy in this apartment while she was here. That made me smile and feel good that you are around. Again, it means to much to know this and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
One more favor, Tomorrow is Bonnie's Birthday. Make sure to go and wish her a Happy Birthday. Just don't scare her..lol! She thought the world of you.. ever since you were a little boy. She loves and misses you. So many people do. Our family and friends, your other friends from High School and College. You never claimed to be or even wanted too, but you were so popular. You touched everyone who ever met you. You were just an incredible son, grandson, cousin, brother, friend, and so much more. I smile just thinking about it. You were amazing! I can't say it enough how honored and proud I was and still am of you. Always remember this!
Well... I don't think I will see my shining star tonight or for the next couple days as we are suppose to get rain, but I will still look for it at night and regardless.. I will whisper to you. Keep listening out for Mom. I miss you so much Tyler and I love you beyond this whole entire world. I hope you have so many sweet dreams tonight. Continue to watch over us. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweetheart. How are you doing today? I hope that you are well on this rainy Monday afternoon. Aunt Becky & Uncle John left this morning around 6am. I really hated to see them go. When they drove off and I was in the apartment I cried because I didn't want them to leave. The 2 1/2 days went by way to fast for me. It was so nice to see family and have company. We had a really good time. We ate, drank wine & beer, listened to music, danced, and laughed all weekend. Sunday we took a 2 mile walk in the woods on these trails. We brought the pups. We all were impressed. Max n Snickers did so well, but boy are they tired today. I think Max may be a little ore as well. He was a trooper. Aunt Becky and I had some time alone to just sit and chat. It was really nice. We hadn't done that in years.I guess it made me sad to know that I won't see them again for a few months and we are back to being alone again. I spoke to Bean and she said she might take a trip out here in the Winter. I hope she does because I would love to spend time with her too! I miss her. I know she misses you too.
Oh yeah, before I forget... Tuesday ( tomorrow ) is the Election for Grandpa. I have posted some things on FB in hopes to get my friends out to vote for him. I hope he gets one of the 7 seats. I know Grandpa really wants this and he deserves it. He is doing it for all the right reasons. He will be amazing at this. Think this is his calling now! I am keeping my fingers crossed for him. If there is anything you can do from above Mom, and Grandpa too would be so thankful to you!
This Saturday, November 9th I will be going to the book signing for Theresa Caputo. I hope that your Spirit is strong and comes through so that I can receive a message from you while I am there. I would be so happy to hear from you. Thanks pumpkin.
Aunt Becky said that she could really feel your energy in this apartment while she was here. That made me smile and feel good that you are around. Again, it means to much to know this and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.
One more favor, Tomorrow is Bonnie's Birthday. Make sure to go and wish her a Happy Birthday. Just don't scare her..lol! She thought the world of you.. ever since you were a little boy. She loves and misses you. So many people do. Our family and friends, your other friends from High School and College. You never claimed to be or even wanted too, but you were so popular. You touched everyone who ever met you. You were just an incredible son, grandson, cousin, brother, friend, and so much more. I smile just thinking about it. You were amazing! I can't say it enough how honored and proud I was and still am of you. Always remember this!
Well... I don't think I will see my shining star tonight or for the next couple days as we are suppose to get rain, but I will still look for it at night and regardless.. I will whisper to you. Keep listening out for Mom. I miss you so much Tyler and I love you beyond this whole entire world. I hope you have so many sweet dreams tonight. Continue to watch over us. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, November 3, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hey my sweet son. Good morning to you. I hope that you are well today. Mom is doing well. I am sorry that I didnt get a chance to write to you yesterday but honestly I got caught up in visiting with Aunt Beck and Uncle John. I am so enjoying the company this weekend. Like I said it is so nice to see them and have family near even for a couple days. Makes me sad that the 3 days have gone by so quickly and they are leaving tomorrow morning. Make sure to watch over them as they are traveling home. Thank you sweetheart. I sure do wish you and Bean were here to along with the rest of the family. Then everything would be complete.
Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you that I was going through your old aspire computer so that Bean could have it...she doesnt have one right now so I knew you wouldnt mind at all that I was giving yours to her. She is tickled pink to get it. Anyways there was a short 48 second video on there of you and Snickers. You are laying in bed and Snicks is kissing your face like he did at night. You are talking to him. It is wonderful. It was great to hear your voice and see that smile. Oh how I miss it, Tyler. I miss you so much. I guess I just dont understand why you had to leave us so soon. Why we didnt get more time with you. Sometimes I try to understand and other times I just think it is so unfair. I want you to be here with me so we can talk, laugh, and share more of our lives together. You are suppose to be here in Texas with me not up in Heaven.
I know you are happy now and you are not confined to a wheelchair and vent any longer. I understand that. I really do. You were a trooper for so many years. You have always been my HERO! You always will. I miss you so much pumpkin. Please continue to watch over me and our family n friends. I want you to know I am so proud of you.
I hope you have a great day in Heaven today. Make sure later tonight you are listening to me whisper to you when I see my bright star. I am hoping that we get to also see the solar eclispe tonight. That would be neat. I love you so much, Tyler and I miss you bunches. Have sweet dreams too tonight. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. I have more pics to post for you later tonight or tomorrow. I am on my tablet and not my laptop where they are at. Sorry pumpkin.
Hey my sweet son. Good morning to you. I hope that you are well today. Mom is doing well. I am sorry that I didnt get a chance to write to you yesterday but honestly I got caught up in visiting with Aunt Beck and Uncle John. I am so enjoying the company this weekend. Like I said it is so nice to see them and have family near even for a couple days. Makes me sad that the 3 days have gone by so quickly and they are leaving tomorrow morning. Make sure to watch over them as they are traveling home. Thank you sweetheart. I sure do wish you and Bean were here to along with the rest of the family. Then everything would be complete.
Oh yeah, I wanted to tell you that I was going through your old aspire computer so that Bean could have it...she doesnt have one right now so I knew you wouldnt mind at all that I was giving yours to her. She is tickled pink to get it. Anyways there was a short 48 second video on there of you and Snickers. You are laying in bed and Snicks is kissing your face like he did at night. You are talking to him. It is wonderful. It was great to hear your voice and see that smile. Oh how I miss it, Tyler. I miss you so much. I guess I just dont understand why you had to leave us so soon. Why we didnt get more time with you. Sometimes I try to understand and other times I just think it is so unfair. I want you to be here with me so we can talk, laugh, and share more of our lives together. You are suppose to be here in Texas with me not up in Heaven.
I know you are happy now and you are not confined to a wheelchair and vent any longer. I understand that. I really do. You were a trooper for so many years. You have always been my HERO! You always will. I miss you so much pumpkin. Please continue to watch over me and our family n friends. I want you to know I am so proud of you.
I hope you have a great day in Heaven today. Make sure later tonight you are listening to me whisper to you when I see my bright star. I am hoping that we get to also see the solar eclispe tonight. That would be neat. I love you so much, Tyler and I miss you bunches. Have sweet dreams too tonight. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. I have more pics to post for you later tonight or tomorrow. I am on my tablet and not my laptop where they are at. Sorry pumpkin.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin. How are you this evening? I hope you are well. I had a very busy day today with getting things prepped for Aunt Beck's visit. They arrived around 2 pm this afternoon. It was so nice to see family and familiar faces. We sat and talked for several hours, had dinner and went for a nightly walk with the pups. It is now 10 pm and they are fast asleep. Not sure what we are doing tomorrow but will think of something fun for them. I am cooking them dinner so that will be nice! So wish that you and Brandy were here too. It would be so nice. I miss you so much. Bean was saying she thought you would go visit her last night. She was sure of it. She wanted to see you but didnt want you to scare her. She misses you calling her " brat ".
I saw my bright star this evening . I whispered to you so I hope you heard me. I love you so much. I wish I could hear your voice and see your smile. I know I will see your smile again so that keeps me going and happy. You mean everything to me. You still are my world. You always will be.
I hope you have sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Please watch over us all and thank you for watching over Aunt Becky and Uncle John. I will write more tomorrow. I love you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin. How are you this evening? I hope you are well. I had a very busy day today with getting things prepped for Aunt Beck's visit. They arrived around 2 pm this afternoon. It was so nice to see family and familiar faces. We sat and talked for several hours, had dinner and went for a nightly walk with the pups. It is now 10 pm and they are fast asleep. Not sure what we are doing tomorrow but will think of something fun for them. I am cooking them dinner so that will be nice! So wish that you and Brandy were here too. It would be so nice. I miss you so much. Bean was saying she thought you would go visit her last night. She was sure of it. She wanted to see you but didnt want you to scare her. She misses you calling her " brat ".
I saw my bright star this evening . I whispered to you so I hope you heard me. I love you so much. I wish I could hear your voice and see your smile. I know I will see your smile again so that keeps me going and happy. You mean everything to me. You still are my world. You always will be.
I hope you have sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Please watch over us all and thank you for watching over Aunt Becky and Uncle John. I will write more tomorrow. I love you. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
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