Thursday, February 28, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I have to say that Mom is dragging butt today. Just as I suspected I did not get much sleep last night due to the plow trucks. It started snowing here around 10 pm. Mom feel asleep around 11:15 pm and I was up a few times during the night plus the plows started around 2 am and Mark was up at 5 am and I was up at 7 am. I was out of bed this morning and making breakfast at 8:30 am. We ate around 9 am and then Mom did dishes and then decided that I would start studying because it was so early and then I would take a shower and get ready.... well...it is 3 pm and Mom has been trying to focus on studying all day long and I still have not gotten ready at all...lol. I am just having a hard time with this final exam. It is driving me nuts. I decided to put it away for a bit and write to you to see if that would help me. We will see. Mom went into her college site and I wrote down all the classes that I have finished and what my grades were.... I have completed 22 courses and my grade is sitting at an 93~ A. Mom is super happy. I have 20 A's and 3 B's. After this course I think I will have 20 A's and 4 B's. I am okay with that! Mom is going to work on her studies over the weekend to get a head start on my last course so that I will be completely down by next Friday! It will feel amazing! I will keep you posted my sweet precious son as I know that you have been by my side through it all and you are so proud of Mom. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the strength I needed when I didn't think I could do it. It means more to Mom then I could ever express but I know that you feel it deep in your soul.
Last night was quiet here. Mom and Mark had dinner, I cleaned up the dishes, and then Mark was on the phone for a bit while Mom took a bubble bath. After that it was after 8 pm so we decided to watch some TV in bed before going to sleep. The phone did not ring at all. Tonight Mom will make dinner, do the dishes and I think it will be a night of snuggling on the couch watching TV all night seeings how we have not done that in 6 nights. I think Mark is going to play his game tonight seeings how he did not do it last evening. That is fine by Mom. I have a bunch of shows to watch that Mark doesn't like...lol. It is a great time for me to catch up on them. Tomorrow is Friday! It will be the 1st day of March as well. It would have been Nana's Birthday too along with Meme and Bob's Anniversary. Lots going on tomorrow. Today is Aunt Jacqui's Birthday. Mom wished her a happy one and asked if she was enjoying her day. She said they were relaxing and she ate birthday cake for breakfast. Sounds like Mom's kind of day! Mark will be busy working all day and Mom will be doing her usual....studying and finishing this final exam! We don't have any weekend plans at all. I think I have a nail appointment on Sunday but that is it. One day we will go out and the other day we shall stay in. It's suppose to rain all weekend anyways. Hopefully it will melt all the snow that we just got. We got about what they said we would. Looks like about 4" -5". Not too bad but it stinks seeings how we could see all grass yesterday and there was no snow. Hope it will be that way again and very soon!
Mom doesn't have any updates for you at all today because I didn't chat with anyone last night but today is a tough day to say the least for my sweet friend Dani. I have been thinking of her and her family all day today. February 28th of last year was when she lost her sweet son to cancer. He passed away early that morning. Mom had the chance to see him a couple weeks before he gained his Angel wings and for that I will forever be grateful. I am sure that Eli is up there with you and learning all new things for his next journey, but there are just so many family and friends that miss him here in the physical world just like we all miss you bunches. Mom wishes no Mom this kind of pain (Dad's too). If you see Eli give him a hug from Mom and tell him that Sherbear loves and misses him. Thanks pumpkin. Mom wishes that she could see you, hear you and hug you. I look at your pictures many times a day and lately they make me so sad...more than normal. I am not sure why though but I tear up a lot lately. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will light the candle for you this evening in a little bit when it gets dark and I will whisper to you later this evening when I go to bed. Smile for me when you hear Mom and I will smile to you. have fun while Mom gets the much needed sleep that I need tonight. Come be with me or visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you! I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you but for now Mom is going to try and go back to her studies. Wish me luck on that....lol. I will be prepping dinner in a bit as well plus feeding the pups. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams my bright shining star.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is today's prayer:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I have to say that Mom is dragging butt today. Just as I suspected I did not get much sleep last night due to the plow trucks. It started snowing here around 10 pm. Mom feel asleep around 11:15 pm and I was up a few times during the night plus the plows started around 2 am and Mark was up at 5 am and I was up at 7 am. I was out of bed this morning and making breakfast at 8:30 am. We ate around 9 am and then Mom did dishes and then decided that I would start studying because it was so early and then I would take a shower and get ready.... well...it is 3 pm and Mom has been trying to focus on studying all day long and I still have not gotten ready at all...lol. I am just having a hard time with this final exam. It is driving me nuts. I decided to put it away for a bit and write to you to see if that would help me. We will see. Mom went into her college site and I wrote down all the classes that I have finished and what my grades were.... I have completed 22 courses and my grade is sitting at an 93~ A. Mom is super happy. I have 20 A's and 3 B's. After this course I think I will have 20 A's and 4 B's. I am okay with that! Mom is going to work on her studies over the weekend to get a head start on my last course so that I will be completely down by next Friday! It will feel amazing! I will keep you posted my sweet precious son as I know that you have been by my side through it all and you are so proud of Mom. Thank you for everything. Thank you for the strength I needed when I didn't think I could do it. It means more to Mom then I could ever express but I know that you feel it deep in your soul.
Last night was quiet here. Mom and Mark had dinner, I cleaned up the dishes, and then Mark was on the phone for a bit while Mom took a bubble bath. After that it was after 8 pm so we decided to watch some TV in bed before going to sleep. The phone did not ring at all. Tonight Mom will make dinner, do the dishes and I think it will be a night of snuggling on the couch watching TV all night seeings how we have not done that in 6 nights. I think Mark is going to play his game tonight seeings how he did not do it last evening. That is fine by Mom. I have a bunch of shows to watch that Mark doesn't like...lol. It is a great time for me to catch up on them. Tomorrow is Friday! It will be the 1st day of March as well. It would have been Nana's Birthday too along with Meme and Bob's Anniversary. Lots going on tomorrow. Today is Aunt Jacqui's Birthday. Mom wished her a happy one and asked if she was enjoying her day. She said they were relaxing and she ate birthday cake for breakfast. Sounds like Mom's kind of day! Mark will be busy working all day and Mom will be doing her usual....studying and finishing this final exam! We don't have any weekend plans at all. I think I have a nail appointment on Sunday but that is it. One day we will go out and the other day we shall stay in. It's suppose to rain all weekend anyways. Hopefully it will melt all the snow that we just got. We got about what they said we would. Looks like about 4" -5". Not too bad but it stinks seeings how we could see all grass yesterday and there was no snow. Hope it will be that way again and very soon!
Mom doesn't have any updates for you at all today because I didn't chat with anyone last night but today is a tough day to say the least for my sweet friend Dani. I have been thinking of her and her family all day today. February 28th of last year was when she lost her sweet son to cancer. He passed away early that morning. Mom had the chance to see him a couple weeks before he gained his Angel wings and for that I will forever be grateful. I am sure that Eli is up there with you and learning all new things for his next journey, but there are just so many family and friends that miss him here in the physical world just like we all miss you bunches. Mom wishes no Mom this kind of pain (Dad's too). If you see Eli give him a hug from Mom and tell him that Sherbear loves and misses him. Thanks pumpkin. Mom wishes that she could see you, hear you and hug you. I look at your pictures many times a day and lately they make me so sad...more than normal. I am not sure why though but I tear up a lot lately. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will light the candle for you this evening in a little bit when it gets dark and I will whisper to you later this evening when I go to bed. Smile for me when you hear Mom and I will smile to you. have fun while Mom gets the much needed sleep that I need tonight. Come be with me or visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you! I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you but for now Mom is going to try and go back to her studies. Wish me luck on that....lol. I will be prepping dinner in a bit as well plus feeding the pups. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams my bright shining star.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is today's prayer:
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies. Be exalted, O God, above the heavens; let your glory be over all the earth. Psalm 57:10-11, NIV
Dear Father in heaven, we thank you that you have always been gracious to us, revealing your great goodness and power in ages past and in the present. In this revelation we live, O Lord our God. You are the almighty One, who works wonders on earth and who rules the heavens so that we can be blest and helped on our earthly paths. Let your goodness and your justice be revealed throughout all the world. Arise, O Lord our God. Let your light shine in us who believe in you. Let your light shine into the whole world. Let your name be glorified. You are indeed our Father, both in heaven and on earth. You give our lives security now and in eternity. Amen.
Wednesday, February 27, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday late afternoon? Mom is doing alright. I have been busy for most of the day though. I just stopped studying for the day. I should be done with my final exam tomorrow and I looked into my final course and looks like I should be able to get it completely done in about 3 days. That is super exciting news for me. I am anxious about it all and I think I may do most of the work this weekend and get it done with! Guess it depends on what I have going on. Right now there are no plans for the weekend at all. The weather today started out nice and sunny with blue skies and around noon time it clouded up and it has been pretty dark. We are getting ready to brace Winter Storm Ryan. We will be getting snow this evening and into tomorrow morning. They say 1-3" of snow but who knows. We get what we get. Mom just looked at the weather channel and it looks like they upped our totals from 1-3" to 3-5". Looks like NH will be getting the same as well. I hope it is on the latter end of it as the snow plows will be out all night and Mom will not get any dang sleep. They go right under our bedroom windows and it is super load. Plus the pups get pretty scared. Won't be a fun evening and Mom will be tried in the morning. Maybe there is a slight chance we will get less than that??? Mom can only hope!
Anyways, last night was nice. Mom cooked a nice dinner for Mark and I. We ate and then Mom did the clean up. After we spent time on the iPad looking at different houses that are for sale. We are now keeping our options open to where we may go. I think we may be leaning towards somewhere where there is no winter months and snow. I think the 5 years being back here is enough for us both. We are going to do some serious talking on locations here pretty soon. We have only 8 months left of our lease here so its not much time. Mom will keep you posted. I did get the chance yesterday to speak to Aunt Beck in the afternoon. It was nice to catch up on things. She really is crazy busy with teaching and work right now. Bean is doing okay. Her meds are really not working so she is discouraged at this point with that. She has been looking for a new job and had an interview last week. Sounds like it went well. Aunt Beck told me where it was and I couldn't help my sigh and take a deep breath. My heart ached after I was told. It would be at St. Catherine's Hospital in Manchester, NH... the place where you passed away. When Brandy told Aunt Beck where it would be she said the exact same thing to her Mom. Aunt Beck was saying that she is feeling you around her a lot lately and making your presence known to her. I was happy to hear that. She said that she thinks that you are helping and being with Bean a lot as well. That doesn't surprise me in the least. Family was everything to you just as it is to Mom. I know you are around me and you watch over me and every one else. I know that you are learning new things to help you on your next journey. No matter what you are doing I know you are doing good things. Mom is so proud of you my sweet precious son. Please continue to be with Mom. Thank you. I was also able to chat with Meme and Grandpa last night. Everything is good on their end. Today is Bob's Birthday. Mom and Mark called him up and wished him a Happy Birthday (well we sang it to him...lol). He got a kick out of that...lol! Hope you can go see him and let him know you are around him today. Grandpa and Debbie went to Concord to go out to eat and do some shopping. Sounds like they had a good time. They are all looking forward to coming here for a visit in a couple weeks. It will be St Patrick's Day weekend when they are here so Mom is trying to find something fun for all of us to do. I will keep you posted on what I come up with. Tonight looks like an evening where we will have dinner and then Mark will play his game with one of his brothers while Mom gets caught up on her shows that she recorded after I take a nice hot bubble bath. We are trying to have some individual time to ourselves doing something that we want to do during the week for one night. I think right now it is limited as the weather is still super cold but during the summer it will be great. We are also trying to come up with other things to do besides watching TV all the time. Again... there will be more to do when the weather is warmer. Mom is looking forward to that very much. Little changes will go a long way along with putting the effort into it. I like what I see so far!
The skies are now turning into the snow skies. It is not gray but cloudy and white. It is suppose to start here in a couple hours. 7 pm until 12 noon tomorrow. Mom will let you know what we got in tomorrows letter. Right now it is going on 5 pm and Mom needs to start the evening stuff with feeding the pups and then getting dinner going for us. Have fun tonight while Mom is sleeping. Come visit in my dreams tonight if you can. Thanks pumpkin. I will light the candle for you as soon as I am done here. I will whisper to you as I always do later this evening as well. Smile to Mom and I will smile to you. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are missed beyond any words can express. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes, good night and sweet dreams, Tyler. Please continue to be my bright shining star that lights the way for me here. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday late afternoon? Mom is doing alright. I have been busy for most of the day though. I just stopped studying for the day. I should be done with my final exam tomorrow and I looked into my final course and looks like I should be able to get it completely done in about 3 days. That is super exciting news for me. I am anxious about it all and I think I may do most of the work this weekend and get it done with! Guess it depends on what I have going on. Right now there are no plans for the weekend at all. The weather today started out nice and sunny with blue skies and around noon time it clouded up and it has been pretty dark. We are getting ready to brace Winter Storm Ryan. We will be getting snow this evening and into tomorrow morning. They say 1-3" of snow but who knows. We get what we get. Mom just looked at the weather channel and it looks like they upped our totals from 1-3" to 3-5". Looks like NH will be getting the same as well. I hope it is on the latter end of it as the snow plows will be out all night and Mom will not get any dang sleep. They go right under our bedroom windows and it is super load. Plus the pups get pretty scared. Won't be a fun evening and Mom will be tried in the morning. Maybe there is a slight chance we will get less than that??? Mom can only hope!
Anyways, last night was nice. Mom cooked a nice dinner for Mark and I. We ate and then Mom did the clean up. After we spent time on the iPad looking at different houses that are for sale. We are now keeping our options open to where we may go. I think we may be leaning towards somewhere where there is no winter months and snow. I think the 5 years being back here is enough for us both. We are going to do some serious talking on locations here pretty soon. We have only 8 months left of our lease here so its not much time. Mom will keep you posted. I did get the chance yesterday to speak to Aunt Beck in the afternoon. It was nice to catch up on things. She really is crazy busy with teaching and work right now. Bean is doing okay. Her meds are really not working so she is discouraged at this point with that. She has been looking for a new job and had an interview last week. Sounds like it went well. Aunt Beck told me where it was and I couldn't help my sigh and take a deep breath. My heart ached after I was told. It would be at St. Catherine's Hospital in Manchester, NH... the place where you passed away. When Brandy told Aunt Beck where it would be she said the exact same thing to her Mom. Aunt Beck was saying that she is feeling you around her a lot lately and making your presence known to her. I was happy to hear that. She said that she thinks that you are helping and being with Bean a lot as well. That doesn't surprise me in the least. Family was everything to you just as it is to Mom. I know you are around me and you watch over me and every one else. I know that you are learning new things to help you on your next journey. No matter what you are doing I know you are doing good things. Mom is so proud of you my sweet precious son. Please continue to be with Mom. Thank you. I was also able to chat with Meme and Grandpa last night. Everything is good on their end. Today is Bob's Birthday. Mom and Mark called him up and wished him a Happy Birthday (well we sang it to him...lol). He got a kick out of that...lol! Hope you can go see him and let him know you are around him today. Grandpa and Debbie went to Concord to go out to eat and do some shopping. Sounds like they had a good time. They are all looking forward to coming here for a visit in a couple weeks. It will be St Patrick's Day weekend when they are here so Mom is trying to find something fun for all of us to do. I will keep you posted on what I come up with. Tonight looks like an evening where we will have dinner and then Mark will play his game with one of his brothers while Mom gets caught up on her shows that she recorded after I take a nice hot bubble bath. We are trying to have some individual time to ourselves doing something that we want to do during the week for one night. I think right now it is limited as the weather is still super cold but during the summer it will be great. We are also trying to come up with other things to do besides watching TV all the time. Again... there will be more to do when the weather is warmer. Mom is looking forward to that very much. Little changes will go a long way along with putting the effort into it. I like what I see so far!
The skies are now turning into the snow skies. It is not gray but cloudy and white. It is suppose to start here in a couple hours. 7 pm until 12 noon tomorrow. Mom will let you know what we got in tomorrows letter. Right now it is going on 5 pm and Mom needs to start the evening stuff with feeding the pups and then getting dinner going for us. Have fun tonight while Mom is sleeping. Come visit in my dreams tonight if you can. Thanks pumpkin. I will light the candle for you as soon as I am done here. I will whisper to you as I always do later this evening as well. Smile to Mom and I will smile to you. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are missed beyond any words can express. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes, good night and sweet dreams, Tyler. Please continue to be my bright shining star that lights the way for me here. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Do not be afraid of what you are about to suffer. I tell you, the devil will put some of you in prison to test you, and you will suffer persecution for ten days. Be faithful, even to the point of death, and I will give you life as your victor's crown. Revelation 2:10, NIV
Lord our God, we come into your presence. Hear our prayers, we entreat you. Let your will be done among us; let your will be done for each one of us individually, and for our time. Let everything go according to your will, even if the way leads through tribulation, fear, and need. For in the end your goal will be reached. In the end you will fulfill your purpose, and your kingdom will come. Your kingdom will come to the honor of your name and for the redemption of all people still suffering on earth. Let your Word bring us blessing. May we go forward joyfully in the patience of Jesus Christ until times change, until a new day dawns and we are allowed to see your glory and your peace. Amen.
Tuesday, February 26, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is doing okay but I know I could be better. I have a bit of a headache right now and it is pretty hard to concentrate on my school work so I thought that I would take a break and write to you. Mom didn't really sleep all that well as I was up a few times during the night. I thought I got pretty good sleep but I guess not..lol! Yesterday, Mom was so happy that I wrote to you earlier in the day. What a mess with the weather that we had. The winds kept knocking out the power and I had several power surges during the day and we had them all during the night. After the 3rd one yesterday, Mom got off her computer and went to watch TV but I had to deal with the TV not turning on. I worked on that for about 40 minutes and finally I got it working. Mark didn't get home until after 6:30 pm last night so it was a late dinner and early to bed due to the weather. We decided to call it a night after the lights started to flicker and more power surges were happening left and right and one right after another. Mom and Mark were in bed around 9 pm. I did call Meme and Grandpa to see if they were doing alright. Meme said that the wind was strong their way as well. Grandpa said they lost power for a couple hours but it was back on and he was toasty warm again and watching TV. Mom wanted to left them know that we were safe as well. The winds ended up being 40 mph for over 13 hours straight and gusts up to 70 mph. They are still pretty strong today too. It is only 28 degrees outside right now but the sun is shining and the skies are blue. The winds are about 25 mph. I guess we are going to be getting some snow Wednesday evening into Thursday. Mom is so tired of the winter months already and this winter has been a mild one with hardly any snow fall. I think our totals so far are less than 12" of snow. That is nothing compared to what we usually get. When we get the storms here it is usually 18-24" of snow at a time and we get about 5 of them through the winter averaging about 90-120" of snow. Mom is definitely not going to complain at all. I enjoy the no snow winter that we are having. We are back to just a couple little snow banks and nothing on the ground but grass! Mom will take it! Spring is coming up fast though and Mom looks forward to the longer days and it staying lighter outside longer plus the temps start to warm up some as well. Spring and Fall were our favorite times during the year. We could do so much more during those times. Summer was great too as long as it was not in the 90's or higher. Winter was tough on you and us all. Mom often wonders what it is like where you are. Is there day and night or is it light all the time? Is it sunny and bright every day and can you look down and see what weather we are having? I remember in one of my angel readings you said the stars are so beautiful and what we see is nothing compared to how you see them. I remember you saying that they were like prisms and tiny rainbows. You said they were beautiful. I also often wonder if you go to your star that Mom named after you. Do you remember that Christmas? I named a star after you and after Mark. A couple years ago for Valentines Day, Mom named a star after Mark and I. I think those are so cool. I am thinking of doing that for Meme and Bob, Grandpa and Debbie and perhaps Aunt Beck and John and Bean and Justin for Christmas this year. I think it would be different and cool. This way we all have stars in the sky named after us all and you could go visit them any time you like. They will be in the sky forever so eventually we will get to have you take us to them and show us. Mom will keep you posted on that! I have nothing else really for updates. I need to call Aunt Beck and say hello and catch up on things as it has been way too long. I will touch base with everyone else as well and get back to you on how everyone is doing.
Mom sure hopes that your evening will be everything that you need and want it to be. I hope that you have the chance and the time to come visit Mom in my dreams or sit next to me while I get some sleep. I sure do miss you, Tyler. I say it all the time because it is so true. Not having you here is so tough for Mom and I do the best that I can. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. I will light the candle for you in a bit and I will whisper to you later tonight so smile when you hear Mom and I will smile to you as well. Until tomorrow comes my sweet precious son, keep shining bright for Mom to see. I love you. Good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1–2, NIV
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is doing okay but I know I could be better. I have a bit of a headache right now and it is pretty hard to concentrate on my school work so I thought that I would take a break and write to you. Mom didn't really sleep all that well as I was up a few times during the night. I thought I got pretty good sleep but I guess not..lol! Yesterday, Mom was so happy that I wrote to you earlier in the day. What a mess with the weather that we had. The winds kept knocking out the power and I had several power surges during the day and we had them all during the night. After the 3rd one yesterday, Mom got off her computer and went to watch TV but I had to deal with the TV not turning on. I worked on that for about 40 minutes and finally I got it working. Mark didn't get home until after 6:30 pm last night so it was a late dinner and early to bed due to the weather. We decided to call it a night after the lights started to flicker and more power surges were happening left and right and one right after another. Mom and Mark were in bed around 9 pm. I did call Meme and Grandpa to see if they were doing alright. Meme said that the wind was strong their way as well. Grandpa said they lost power for a couple hours but it was back on and he was toasty warm again and watching TV. Mom wanted to left them know that we were safe as well. The winds ended up being 40 mph for over 13 hours straight and gusts up to 70 mph. They are still pretty strong today too. It is only 28 degrees outside right now but the sun is shining and the skies are blue. The winds are about 25 mph. I guess we are going to be getting some snow Wednesday evening into Thursday. Mom is so tired of the winter months already and this winter has been a mild one with hardly any snow fall. I think our totals so far are less than 12" of snow. That is nothing compared to what we usually get. When we get the storms here it is usually 18-24" of snow at a time and we get about 5 of them through the winter averaging about 90-120" of snow. Mom is definitely not going to complain at all. I enjoy the no snow winter that we are having. We are back to just a couple little snow banks and nothing on the ground but grass! Mom will take it! Spring is coming up fast though and Mom looks forward to the longer days and it staying lighter outside longer plus the temps start to warm up some as well. Spring and Fall were our favorite times during the year. We could do so much more during those times. Summer was great too as long as it was not in the 90's or higher. Winter was tough on you and us all. Mom often wonders what it is like where you are. Is there day and night or is it light all the time? Is it sunny and bright every day and can you look down and see what weather we are having? I remember in one of my angel readings you said the stars are so beautiful and what we see is nothing compared to how you see them. I remember you saying that they were like prisms and tiny rainbows. You said they were beautiful. I also often wonder if you go to your star that Mom named after you. Do you remember that Christmas? I named a star after you and after Mark. A couple years ago for Valentines Day, Mom named a star after Mark and I. I think those are so cool. I am thinking of doing that for Meme and Bob, Grandpa and Debbie and perhaps Aunt Beck and John and Bean and Justin for Christmas this year. I think it would be different and cool. This way we all have stars in the sky named after us all and you could go visit them any time you like. They will be in the sky forever so eventually we will get to have you take us to them and show us. Mom will keep you posted on that! I have nothing else really for updates. I need to call Aunt Beck and say hello and catch up on things as it has been way too long. I will touch base with everyone else as well and get back to you on how everyone is doing.
Mom sure hopes that your evening will be everything that you need and want it to be. I hope that you have the chance and the time to come visit Mom in my dreams or sit next to me while I get some sleep. I sure do miss you, Tyler. I say it all the time because it is so true. Not having you here is so tough for Mom and I do the best that I can. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. I will light the candle for you in a bit and I will whisper to you later tonight so smile when you hear Mom and I will smile to you as well. Until tomorrow comes my sweet precious son, keep shining bright for Mom to see. I love you. Good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth. Psalm 121:1–2, NIV
Lord God Almighty, Lord our God, our refuge for ever and ever, bless us as we gather in your presence and turn to you. May we be your children, who can simply believe and stand firm in our lives and in our calling. We thank you for giving us your grace and constant help. In your grace we can be joyful, praising and honoring you. You are our father. You never forsake us. May your name be praised by us all. May your name be praised above and in the whole world so that all people may acknowledge you and receive what they need from you. Amen.
Monday, February 25, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is done for the day on studying because of the weather we are having. I am not sure it we keep getting surges or not but my computer has shut down on me 3 times today. Guess that would be a sign for me to stop for the day and just resume things again tomorrow. The weather channel was certainly correct on the weather that we are getting today. It started around 9 am this morning and the winds are now at 40 mph with gusts over 60 mph. The trees are just bending. Mom tried to do a video earlier but when I was standing next to the window the wind was so intense that it was shaking the windows and it felt like the windows were going to be pulled from off the side of the building. When I was studying earlier the wind would be whipping and I could feel the entire building move and sway. We are on the 3rd floor. It is crazy. We have about another 4 hours of the strong winds before they will go down to maybe 24 mph. Please keep us safe here at the apartment and also for Mark while he will be on the road soon. He has a very long drive ahead of him and will be driving in it all the way back. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Mom was in the middle of looking over her exam when the computer shut down the first time. I saved my work though. I was then again going over it and had pushed the button to save without submitting because I wanted to still check a few things and the computer shut down for the 2nd time on me and that time I was not so lucky. It submitted my exam to be graded. I ended up with a 72 on it. I was not happy but at least I passed the dang thing. My overall grade dropped but I am still at a 89 so I am okay with that. I am 1 point from an A. I will be working on the final exam tomorrow. Hopefully I will get a good grade on that but it looks pretty tough. be with Mom through it all so that I get a passing grade. Thank you pumpkin. After this final I will be on my last course. I am hoping to finish it by the end of the week. I am hoping for that so bad! We shall see. My last course is Law and Ethics and it is all essay questions so it will take a bit. I got this though. Mom will keep you posted about it all. Not much else is going on. I literally have not spoken to Grandpa or anyone in about a week to a month. No one is calling and I am not calling them either. Things here need a lot of work still so I am putting my focus on that right now. Mark has a crazy work schedule ahead of him for the month of March and then the first part of April he will be gone for several days as well. Lots to think about during all that time. Mom will be sure to keep you updated when I know of things though.
I sure hope that your evening will be all that you need and want it to be. I hope that you will have time to come visit me in my dreams or sit beside me while I sleep. I will light the candle for you in a little bit and Mom will whisper to you later this evening. Smile when you hear me and I will smile to you. I know this letter is short today but I want to make sure that I get one down incase my computer shuts down on me again. I will write more to you tomorrow though. I miss you like crazy and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my winds. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams later this evening. Keep lighting the path for Mom too.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is done for the day on studying because of the weather we are having. I am not sure it we keep getting surges or not but my computer has shut down on me 3 times today. Guess that would be a sign for me to stop for the day and just resume things again tomorrow. The weather channel was certainly correct on the weather that we are getting today. It started around 9 am this morning and the winds are now at 40 mph with gusts over 60 mph. The trees are just bending. Mom tried to do a video earlier but when I was standing next to the window the wind was so intense that it was shaking the windows and it felt like the windows were going to be pulled from off the side of the building. When I was studying earlier the wind would be whipping and I could feel the entire building move and sway. We are on the 3rd floor. It is crazy. We have about another 4 hours of the strong winds before they will go down to maybe 24 mph. Please keep us safe here at the apartment and also for Mark while he will be on the road soon. He has a very long drive ahead of him and will be driving in it all the way back. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Mom was in the middle of looking over her exam when the computer shut down the first time. I saved my work though. I was then again going over it and had pushed the button to save without submitting because I wanted to still check a few things and the computer shut down for the 2nd time on me and that time I was not so lucky. It submitted my exam to be graded. I ended up with a 72 on it. I was not happy but at least I passed the dang thing. My overall grade dropped but I am still at a 89 so I am okay with that. I am 1 point from an A. I will be working on the final exam tomorrow. Hopefully I will get a good grade on that but it looks pretty tough. be with Mom through it all so that I get a passing grade. Thank you pumpkin. After this final I will be on my last course. I am hoping to finish it by the end of the week. I am hoping for that so bad! We shall see. My last course is Law and Ethics and it is all essay questions so it will take a bit. I got this though. Mom will keep you posted about it all. Not much else is going on. I literally have not spoken to Grandpa or anyone in about a week to a month. No one is calling and I am not calling them either. Things here need a lot of work still so I am putting my focus on that right now. Mark has a crazy work schedule ahead of him for the month of March and then the first part of April he will be gone for several days as well. Lots to think about during all that time. Mom will be sure to keep you updated when I know of things though.
I sure hope that your evening will be all that you need and want it to be. I hope that you will have time to come visit me in my dreams or sit beside me while I sleep. I will light the candle for you in a little bit and Mom will whisper to you later this evening. Smile when you hear me and I will smile to you. I know this letter is short today but I want to make sure that I get one down incase my computer shuts down on me again. I will write more to you tomorrow though. I miss you like crazy and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my winds. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams later this evening. Keep lighting the path for Mom too.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
“Here is my servant, whom I uphold, my chosen one in whom I delight; I will put my Spirit on him, and he will bring justice to the nations.” Isaiah 42:1, NIV
Dear Father in heaven, grant that we may stand in your grace. Grant that the light of your grace may come to us through your Word. Keep us firm in faith until the promised time when your redemption shall come to all the nations on earth. We are often anxious and ask ourselves if people can bear it. Will they learn to listen to your Word? Will they remain steadfast when hard times come? Will they turn to you alone, to you who know the hour and appoint the time when we may see the promised day? Let the might of your hand prevail over the whole world. You are the only power that can help us out of our great affliction, you our only Lord. Amen.
Sunday, February 24, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? Today is the 24th of February and there are only 4 more days before it is March 1st. It is so hard to believe that we are going into the 3rd month of 2019. It is crazy how time is just flying by these days. The weather today is gray, cold, cloudy and we are getting a lot of rain right now. The wind will be picking up here in a bit and we are in a wind advisory until Tuesday evening. I guess they will be 35 mph but can get up to 50 mph at some points. Please keep us safe here during this weather. Mark will be on the road tomorrow all day and into the night while Mom will be here with the pups. Thank you my sweet precious son. It means a lot to Mom.
I am sorry that I did not write to you last night at all but honestly I never came into my office let alone went on my computer, iPad or anything. I guess I just needed to have a break from it all. It has been a very hard and stressful week for Mom and Mark as well. I whispered to you a lot though so I hope you heard Mom during the day and even through the night. I whisper to you all the time. I hope it makes you smile when you hear my voice. I try to smile to you as well so you can see Mom.
Things here are still touch and go and I know they will be for a long time. Nothing is going to happen over night but after yesterday, Mark and Mom are still determined to try and make all this work out. I spoke to Meme yesterday about what happened the other night and how we got into another argument and she said the same thing...nothing is going to happen over night and it is going to take both of us to try and work really hard at it. She also said that some things may or may not ever happen. What she said made sense to me. I was happy that we spoke about it. It made Mom feel better.
Yesterday pretty much consisted of doing a whole lot of nothing. Mom lounged in bed until after 12 noon. I got up, got ready and then basically watched TV all afternoon and into the evening. I was in bed at 9:30 pm and went right to sleep. I think I just needed it after all the nights this past week that I didn't get any. Today has been another day where not much has been going on. I have done a lot of house work. I mopped the floors and then vacuumed them, did laundry, gathered up the garbage, etc... I am writing to you now and then I will be getting ready. Later I will make sure to call Grandpa to say hello seeings how we have not chatted in about 5 days now. We also have a skype call scheduled later this evening. Mom is going to be making homemade meatballs for meatball grinders for dinner. I need to be starting them pretty soon as well. At least in a couple hours. Not much else is really going on. It has been quiet and the phones have been as well. I think everyone is giving mark and Mom some space to try and work on things. That is very sweet of them but I miss talking to them. I miss you so much, Tyler. I whispered to you a lot these past few days. I found comfort in that and also journaling. This week will be very busy for Mark as he will be on the road most of the week and Mom will be doing everything to finish up the course that I am working on right now and then completing that and starting the very last course. I have finished the exam 7 and just need to go over it quickly and submit it. Then it will be the final to take. I am hoping to be done this week and starting on the new course towards the end of the week and finishing up by the 1st week of March! This is exciting. I have a few more things left to do but the associates degree piece with be finished! Mom will keep you posted on everything. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are inside my heart, mind, body and soul. I sure hope that you have a wonderful afternoon and evening. May you get to do all the things you need to do and want to do. Come visit Mom in my dreams to night if you can. Thank you! I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....good night and sweet dreams pumpkin. Please continue to light the path that Mom should be following. You will forever be my bright shining star. Until tomorrow comes....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the pray for the day:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? Today is the 24th of February and there are only 4 more days before it is March 1st. It is so hard to believe that we are going into the 3rd month of 2019. It is crazy how time is just flying by these days. The weather today is gray, cold, cloudy and we are getting a lot of rain right now. The wind will be picking up here in a bit and we are in a wind advisory until Tuesday evening. I guess they will be 35 mph but can get up to 50 mph at some points. Please keep us safe here during this weather. Mark will be on the road tomorrow all day and into the night while Mom will be here with the pups. Thank you my sweet precious son. It means a lot to Mom.
I am sorry that I did not write to you last night at all but honestly I never came into my office let alone went on my computer, iPad or anything. I guess I just needed to have a break from it all. It has been a very hard and stressful week for Mom and Mark as well. I whispered to you a lot though so I hope you heard Mom during the day and even through the night. I whisper to you all the time. I hope it makes you smile when you hear my voice. I try to smile to you as well so you can see Mom.
Things here are still touch and go and I know they will be for a long time. Nothing is going to happen over night but after yesterday, Mark and Mom are still determined to try and make all this work out. I spoke to Meme yesterday about what happened the other night and how we got into another argument and she said the same thing...nothing is going to happen over night and it is going to take both of us to try and work really hard at it. She also said that some things may or may not ever happen. What she said made sense to me. I was happy that we spoke about it. It made Mom feel better.
Yesterday pretty much consisted of doing a whole lot of nothing. Mom lounged in bed until after 12 noon. I got up, got ready and then basically watched TV all afternoon and into the evening. I was in bed at 9:30 pm and went right to sleep. I think I just needed it after all the nights this past week that I didn't get any. Today has been another day where not much has been going on. I have done a lot of house work. I mopped the floors and then vacuumed them, did laundry, gathered up the garbage, etc... I am writing to you now and then I will be getting ready. Later I will make sure to call Grandpa to say hello seeings how we have not chatted in about 5 days now. We also have a skype call scheduled later this evening. Mom is going to be making homemade meatballs for meatball grinders for dinner. I need to be starting them pretty soon as well. At least in a couple hours. Not much else is really going on. It has been quiet and the phones have been as well. I think everyone is giving mark and Mom some space to try and work on things. That is very sweet of them but I miss talking to them. I miss you so much, Tyler. I whispered to you a lot these past few days. I found comfort in that and also journaling. This week will be very busy for Mark as he will be on the road most of the week and Mom will be doing everything to finish up the course that I am working on right now and then completing that and starting the very last course. I have finished the exam 7 and just need to go over it quickly and submit it. Then it will be the final to take. I am hoping to be done this week and starting on the new course towards the end of the week and finishing up by the 1st week of March! This is exciting. I have a few more things left to do but the associates degree piece with be finished! Mom will keep you posted on everything. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are inside my heart, mind, body and soul. I sure hope that you have a wonderful afternoon and evening. May you get to do all the things you need to do and want to do. Come visit Mom in my dreams to night if you can. Thank you! I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....good night and sweet dreams pumpkin. Please continue to light the path that Mom should be following. You will forever be my bright shining star. Until tomorrow comes....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the pray for the day:
For I am the Lord your God, who stirs up the sea so that its waves roar - the Lord Almighty is his name. I have put my words in your mouth and covered you with the shadow of my hand - I who set the heavens in place, who laid the foundations of the earth, and who say to Zion, “You are my people.” Isaiah 51:15-16, NIV
Lord God Almighty, your eyes watch over the whole world. We come before you with the evils that surround us still clinging to us. Shelter our lives in your hands. Give us your strength to win through, even in suffering and need. For we are yours, O Lord our God. You have chosen your people to strengthen them and to free them from all evil. We beseech you to help us. May we feel your presence among us. May your Word bear fruit in us to the everlasting honor of your name. Amen.
Friday, February 22, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday evening? It is already 5 pm and the sun is starting to set. It is nice to see that the snow is finally melting and we can see some grass once again. That is always a good sign. Mom had a pretty rough night last night and day today, I am not going to lie. I have no reason to anyways. After the conversation that Mark and Mom had the other night, I thought that maybe just maybe things could start getting on the right track but boy that was pretty short lived. Less than 24 hours we were back to fighting and the silent treatment again. It all started last night. we were eating dinner and playing Chess when his brother called. Mark tried to make a joke saying that whoever lost a piece of the chess game had to take a drink....no one was drinking alcohol, Mark was trying to be funny. After that comment was made, Sarah decided to chime in and say that Mark could only have two drinks. That was a jab at Mom from Sunday when they were here. I did not find that funny at all and I told that to Mark after he hung up with them. I said that if Sarah wanted to crack jokes at me I had plenty that I could say about her and she wouldn't like it. Well, that is all it took. Mark yet again took their side and laughed about it all. He knew that the comment made me angry and hurt because he said that. Instead of understanding where I was coming from he walked away and played his video game. He wasn't talking to me so I took a nice bubble bath and then did some writing in my journal that I just recently started. After that I watched TV before calling it a night. He continued to play his game all night and into the wee hours of the morning. Mom fell asleep and woke up at 1:30 am. He was sleeping on the couch again. I told him that at any time last night he could have come in to try to talk to me but he couldn't be bothered with it. His game was too important and also talking on the phone. I am not a priority to him at all. I should be on the top of the list but I am at the bottom of it. I am a door mat and a speck of dirt on his shoes. This morning he walked right by without saying anything. I fed the pups and then lounged in bed for about an hour before getting up, getting ready, making something to eat and then right in my office to study. I needed a break this afternoon so I decided to ask if we were going to continue the silent treatment or if he would like to talk. Mom could tell he had no desire to say anything to me at all. We spoke but it ended in another argument...shocker...not! Mom pretty much decided that I had or have anything left to give in this marriage. I can't be the one who only tries and I can't always be the blame of everything in his eyes as that is not fair. He says that he is a happy person and I am not. Geesh... really how can I be? I am not treated with any respect or I am not being treated the way a husband should treat his wife that he loves. I can tell there is no love at all coming from him. I don't think he really knows how to love anyone but himself. We are no better off then where we were a few days ago....honestly I think it is worse now. Mom stayed quiet the rest of the day and I am trying to come up with a plan for me and the pups. I know that I can take the weekend to pack a few things up and get on the road first thing Monday morning. He will be leaving really early to go to a customer site that day and will be gone for until the evening. That would be the best time for me to leave without him knowing. I will leave a note telling him that I decided to leave and someone will be in touch with him soon about my belongings. I am not a quitter at all and I give over 100% with every situation but this one has defeated me. I have nothing left to try and I have nothing to want to anymore. It sucks... no lie there but eventually some day I will be okay again. It is going to be a long and hard road ahead for Mom as I lost everything several years ago. I have nothing to my name anymore thanks to Mark. Please know that our family will help Mom get through it all. They will be the biggest and best support system that I can have. I know that you will be right by my side as well. Thank you my sweet precious son. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you will live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom has no updates for you at all as I have not spoken to anyone in 2 days. I will try to catch up with them over the weekend to let them once again know what is going on here. Mom will light the candle for you in a few minutes and I will whisper to you later this evening. Smile for me and I will smile to you. I hope that you have fun tonight while Mom is trying to get some sleep. Come be with me please. Thank you so much. Mom needs to go for now as I need to make dinner for one and get the pups all set. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then...good night and sweet dreams. Please continue to be my bright shining star that lights my way. Thank you. I love you with all my heart and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday evening? It is already 5 pm and the sun is starting to set. It is nice to see that the snow is finally melting and we can see some grass once again. That is always a good sign. Mom had a pretty rough night last night and day today, I am not going to lie. I have no reason to anyways. After the conversation that Mark and Mom had the other night, I thought that maybe just maybe things could start getting on the right track but boy that was pretty short lived. Less than 24 hours we were back to fighting and the silent treatment again. It all started last night. we were eating dinner and playing Chess when his brother called. Mark tried to make a joke saying that whoever lost a piece of the chess game had to take a drink....no one was drinking alcohol, Mark was trying to be funny. After that comment was made, Sarah decided to chime in and say that Mark could only have two drinks. That was a jab at Mom from Sunday when they were here. I did not find that funny at all and I told that to Mark after he hung up with them. I said that if Sarah wanted to crack jokes at me I had plenty that I could say about her and she wouldn't like it. Well, that is all it took. Mark yet again took their side and laughed about it all. He knew that the comment made me angry and hurt because he said that. Instead of understanding where I was coming from he walked away and played his video game. He wasn't talking to me so I took a nice bubble bath and then did some writing in my journal that I just recently started. After that I watched TV before calling it a night. He continued to play his game all night and into the wee hours of the morning. Mom fell asleep and woke up at 1:30 am. He was sleeping on the couch again. I told him that at any time last night he could have come in to try to talk to me but he couldn't be bothered with it. His game was too important and also talking on the phone. I am not a priority to him at all. I should be on the top of the list but I am at the bottom of it. I am a door mat and a speck of dirt on his shoes. This morning he walked right by without saying anything. I fed the pups and then lounged in bed for about an hour before getting up, getting ready, making something to eat and then right in my office to study. I needed a break this afternoon so I decided to ask if we were going to continue the silent treatment or if he would like to talk. Mom could tell he had no desire to say anything to me at all. We spoke but it ended in another argument...shocker...not! Mom pretty much decided that I had or have anything left to give in this marriage. I can't be the one who only tries and I can't always be the blame of everything in his eyes as that is not fair. He says that he is a happy person and I am not. Geesh... really how can I be? I am not treated with any respect or I am not being treated the way a husband should treat his wife that he loves. I can tell there is no love at all coming from him. I don't think he really knows how to love anyone but himself. We are no better off then where we were a few days ago....honestly I think it is worse now. Mom stayed quiet the rest of the day and I am trying to come up with a plan for me and the pups. I know that I can take the weekend to pack a few things up and get on the road first thing Monday morning. He will be leaving really early to go to a customer site that day and will be gone for until the evening. That would be the best time for me to leave without him knowing. I will leave a note telling him that I decided to leave and someone will be in touch with him soon about my belongings. I am not a quitter at all and I give over 100% with every situation but this one has defeated me. I have nothing left to try and I have nothing to want to anymore. It sucks... no lie there but eventually some day I will be okay again. It is going to be a long and hard road ahead for Mom as I lost everything several years ago. I have nothing to my name anymore thanks to Mark. Please know that our family will help Mom get through it all. They will be the biggest and best support system that I can have. I know that you will be right by my side as well. Thank you my sweet precious son. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you will live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom has no updates for you at all as I have not spoken to anyone in 2 days. I will try to catch up with them over the weekend to let them once again know what is going on here. Mom will light the candle for you in a few minutes and I will whisper to you later this evening. Smile for me and I will smile to you. I hope that you have fun tonight while Mom is trying to get some sleep. Come be with me please. Thank you so much. Mom needs to go for now as I need to make dinner for one and get the pups all set. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then...good night and sweet dreams. Please continue to be my bright shining star that lights my way. Thank you. I love you with all my heart and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
And he passed in front of Moses, proclaiming, 'The Lord, the Lord, the compassionate and gracious God, slow to anger, abounding in love and faithfulness, maintaining love to thousands, and forgiving wickedness, rebellion and sin. Yet he does not leave the guilty unpunished; he punishes the children and their children for the sin of the parents to the third and fourth generation.' Exodus 34:6-7, NIV
Dear Father in heaven, how great are your goodness and mercy to us all on earth, who are subject to misery and death! May our hearts be strengthened through your goodness and through the saving power of your nature, revealed to us in Jesus Christ, our Redeemer. Protect and bless us this night. May your Spirit help us find your ever-present kindness and mercy. Praised be your name forever! Amen.
Thursday, February 21, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom has lost track of time all of a sudden and I am running late. It is already 5 pm and I have not fed the pups yet and I just got done doing a few things on the computer. Thank God that I had made homemade beef stew for dinner tonight or I would be trying to figure out what to have. Mom has been busy all day long. I have been up since 6:30 am and I fed the pups. I lounged in bed for maybe an hour and then got back up and started my day. I was able to dust, mop the floors, vacuum the floors, make the beef stew, made a good breakfast, did all the dishes, got ready and then came in and worked on my exam. I submitted it and I got an 89 on it! I was tickled pink. It confirms to Mom that I really do know what I am doing. I started right on the next chapters and exam. When this one is done the next is the final and then I will be on my very last course before graduation! This means I have 5 exams and 2 finals to go! Mom is super excited. I am hoping to be finished by March 1st. After Mom did all that I took a few minutes to pay the bills online and then do the grocery shopping. Mark is actually feeding the pups for me while I finish my letter to you. That is helpful as I still have biscuits to make. Anyways....
Last night, Mark and Mom sat down during dinner and we talked for almost 2 hours. We spoke about all kinds of things that we both needed to know such as what has been bothering him, what has been bothering Mom, what we didn't like, what we did like, etc... It was a very good chat to say the least. We both decided that we were not ready to call it quits just yet. We have found some solutions that we think could work out. Time is really going to tell though. It is going to take effort and work on both our parts to have this work out. Not just one. We have said that at any time we didn't think it was going the way we hoped we would say it and we would know that we tried but we would come to realize that it just wasn't going to work out after all. we are both in agreement. We shall see. Mom has her guard up for right now though. I am going to do my part in all this but I will also be playing if safe so that I can guard my heart from getting crushed again. Mom will keep you posted on everything. I also spoke to Meme and Grandpa last night as they both wanted to know what was going on. I filled them in and they both were very happy with what I told them. They all really love Mark. They know that marriage is hard and it is work to keep it going strong. They are definitely all there to support us through it all and that means the world to me. I know you are right by my side as well and I thank you for that. Mom needs you pumpkin. I miss you so much. It crushes me that you are no longer here still. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom is hoping to touch base with Aunt Beck tomorrow as it has been about a month since we spoke. Aunt Shirley is not doing well and neither is Richard. Mom is praying for them both. Debbie has to wear a brace on her knee and she needs to go see a specialist about what might be going on. Bob has a doctor's appointment coming up in a couple weeks so we shall see how he is doing. Again, Mom will keep you posted to what is going on with all our family but for now that is all I have for updates today. Tonight will be having dinner and then playing a couple games of chess. We are going to try and do different things that does not involve watching TV so much. It will be different things nightly. I think it will be fun. Mom will light the candle for you in a bit and I will whisper to you later this evening. Have fun while Mom sleeps and I hope you can visit me in my dreams tonight. I will be back tomorrow again with another letter. Right now I have to get the rest of the dinner prepped and cooked. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams. You will always be Mom's bright shining star that lights the way for me. Thank you, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom has lost track of time all of a sudden and I am running late. It is already 5 pm and I have not fed the pups yet and I just got done doing a few things on the computer. Thank God that I had made homemade beef stew for dinner tonight or I would be trying to figure out what to have. Mom has been busy all day long. I have been up since 6:30 am and I fed the pups. I lounged in bed for maybe an hour and then got back up and started my day. I was able to dust, mop the floors, vacuum the floors, make the beef stew, made a good breakfast, did all the dishes, got ready and then came in and worked on my exam. I submitted it and I got an 89 on it! I was tickled pink. It confirms to Mom that I really do know what I am doing. I started right on the next chapters and exam. When this one is done the next is the final and then I will be on my very last course before graduation! This means I have 5 exams and 2 finals to go! Mom is super excited. I am hoping to be finished by March 1st. After Mom did all that I took a few minutes to pay the bills online and then do the grocery shopping. Mark is actually feeding the pups for me while I finish my letter to you. That is helpful as I still have biscuits to make. Anyways....
Last night, Mark and Mom sat down during dinner and we talked for almost 2 hours. We spoke about all kinds of things that we both needed to know such as what has been bothering him, what has been bothering Mom, what we didn't like, what we did like, etc... It was a very good chat to say the least. We both decided that we were not ready to call it quits just yet. We have found some solutions that we think could work out. Time is really going to tell though. It is going to take effort and work on both our parts to have this work out. Not just one. We have said that at any time we didn't think it was going the way we hoped we would say it and we would know that we tried but we would come to realize that it just wasn't going to work out after all. we are both in agreement. We shall see. Mom has her guard up for right now though. I am going to do my part in all this but I will also be playing if safe so that I can guard my heart from getting crushed again. Mom will keep you posted on everything. I also spoke to Meme and Grandpa last night as they both wanted to know what was going on. I filled them in and they both were very happy with what I told them. They all really love Mark. They know that marriage is hard and it is work to keep it going strong. They are definitely all there to support us through it all and that means the world to me. I know you are right by my side as well and I thank you for that. Mom needs you pumpkin. I miss you so much. It crushes me that you are no longer here still. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom is hoping to touch base with Aunt Beck tomorrow as it has been about a month since we spoke. Aunt Shirley is not doing well and neither is Richard. Mom is praying for them both. Debbie has to wear a brace on her knee and she needs to go see a specialist about what might be going on. Bob has a doctor's appointment coming up in a couple weeks so we shall see how he is doing. Again, Mom will keep you posted to what is going on with all our family but for now that is all I have for updates today. Tonight will be having dinner and then playing a couple games of chess. We are going to try and do different things that does not involve watching TV so much. It will be different things nightly. I think it will be fun. Mom will light the candle for you in a bit and I will whisper to you later this evening. Have fun while Mom sleeps and I hope you can visit me in my dreams tonight. I will be back tomorrow again with another letter. Right now I have to get the rest of the dinner prepped and cooked. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams. You will always be Mom's bright shining star that lights the way for me. Thank you, Tyler.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. Ephesians 5:25-27, NIV
Lord our God, remember us even though we are only a few. Protect us from all evil, from all inner harm, which threatens us every day. Let your hand be over us so that at last a great power may stream out from your church into all the world, bringing the fulfillment of your promises. We thank you for all your goodness. Watch over us, we pray. Keep us in the right spirit and purpose, and help us resist all that is wrong and harmful. Grant that we serve you and not the world. Protect us this day and every day. Amen.
Wednesday, February 20, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday late afternoon? Mom is not going to lie at all.... I am so tired I can't even see straight. I did what I said I was going to do last night and I took a long bubble bath and then climbed into bed and actually wrote in my journal and then watched some TV. I turned the TV off around 10 pm because I was so sleepy. I slept until 2 am and then I was up until 4:30 am and then fell back to sleep until 7 am. Mom is just not sleeping all that well and I am not eating that much either. I really haven't been taking care of myself the last 4 or 5 days. I need to start because it is taking a toll on me and my body.
Mom wanted to write to you now because I plan on jumping off my computer for the night and going to make dinner and then relax for the entire evening. I will be going to bed very early this evening. I need a solid night sleep that is for sure.
The weather today was cloudy and overcast. No blue skies or sun today. I didn't even know that we were in for 3-5" of snow this evening and then ice tomorrow morning. All of a sudden we are starting to get all the snow and it is accumulating so late in the season. Usually by this time we get a couple inches of snow here and there but no major storms. This winter has been crazy. I sure hope we only get the 3" and it melts fast. I want to see grass again and soon. In a couple weeks we will be turning the clocks ahead again and that means longer days and it stays lighter out at night. I can't wait for that. I am anxious to be able to leave the balcony door open for the warm breeze. That kind of weather will be here shortly.
So, I wanted to share the latest of what is going on here. Like I said last night I stayed to myself. Mark was either on his phone or playing a video game with his brother on the computer. I don't even know what time he went to bed on the couch because I was already asleep and when I woke up he was sleeping. we tried to talk for a bit, not long but I think both of us were just done at that point from everything that happened through out the day. We said that we would revisit it again this morning but we have not had a chance to talk because something came up with his work and that took all day to do. Mom studied anyways and finished her latest exam. I will look it over tomorrow before submitting it. I guess the plan is to do some talking tonight and see what happens from there. I know that things have been pretty heated and nasty here the last few days and nights but that happens in a marriage. Maybe not to these extremes but they do happen. I don't know if either of us really want to stop fighting or trying for this marriage to work. I know that a lot has been said and done on both our parts and if that is what we choose to do then it is going to take a lot of time and work to try and make this succeed. I guess Mom will have more answers tomorrow after our conversation later this evening.
It is already going on 4:30 pm and the sky is really showing that it is about to start snowing at any time. Mom needs to get dinner going and also I need to feed the pups early as they got fed early this morning. Mom hopes that your night is everything that you want and need it to be. Have fun while I sleep and I sure hope you have time to come be with me or visit me in my dreams. I will light the candle for you this evening and I will whisper to you later tonight. I miss you so much my sweet precious son and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are living in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you and hope to be able to tell you that I passed my exam as well. My fingers are crossed. Until tomorrow.... good night and sweet dreams my bright shining star. Never stop helping Mom by leading the way for me. Thank you pumpkin!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday late afternoon? Mom is not going to lie at all.... I am so tired I can't even see straight. I did what I said I was going to do last night and I took a long bubble bath and then climbed into bed and actually wrote in my journal and then watched some TV. I turned the TV off around 10 pm because I was so sleepy. I slept until 2 am and then I was up until 4:30 am and then fell back to sleep until 7 am. Mom is just not sleeping all that well and I am not eating that much either. I really haven't been taking care of myself the last 4 or 5 days. I need to start because it is taking a toll on me and my body.
Mom wanted to write to you now because I plan on jumping off my computer for the night and going to make dinner and then relax for the entire evening. I will be going to bed very early this evening. I need a solid night sleep that is for sure.
The weather today was cloudy and overcast. No blue skies or sun today. I didn't even know that we were in for 3-5" of snow this evening and then ice tomorrow morning. All of a sudden we are starting to get all the snow and it is accumulating so late in the season. Usually by this time we get a couple inches of snow here and there but no major storms. This winter has been crazy. I sure hope we only get the 3" and it melts fast. I want to see grass again and soon. In a couple weeks we will be turning the clocks ahead again and that means longer days and it stays lighter out at night. I can't wait for that. I am anxious to be able to leave the balcony door open for the warm breeze. That kind of weather will be here shortly.
So, I wanted to share the latest of what is going on here. Like I said last night I stayed to myself. Mark was either on his phone or playing a video game with his brother on the computer. I don't even know what time he went to bed on the couch because I was already asleep and when I woke up he was sleeping. we tried to talk for a bit, not long but I think both of us were just done at that point from everything that happened through out the day. We said that we would revisit it again this morning but we have not had a chance to talk because something came up with his work and that took all day to do. Mom studied anyways and finished her latest exam. I will look it over tomorrow before submitting it. I guess the plan is to do some talking tonight and see what happens from there. I know that things have been pretty heated and nasty here the last few days and nights but that happens in a marriage. Maybe not to these extremes but they do happen. I don't know if either of us really want to stop fighting or trying for this marriage to work. I know that a lot has been said and done on both our parts and if that is what we choose to do then it is going to take a lot of time and work to try and make this succeed. I guess Mom will have more answers tomorrow after our conversation later this evening.
It is already going on 4:30 pm and the sky is really showing that it is about to start snowing at any time. Mom needs to get dinner going and also I need to feed the pups early as they got fed early this morning. Mom hopes that your night is everything that you want and need it to be. Have fun while I sleep and I sure hope you have time to come be with me or visit me in my dreams. I will light the candle for you this evening and I will whisper to you later tonight. I miss you so much my sweet precious son and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you are living in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you and hope to be able to tell you that I passed my exam as well. My fingers are crossed. Until tomorrow.... good night and sweet dreams my bright shining star. Never stop helping Mom by leading the way for me. Thank you pumpkin!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
My son, do not despise the Lord’s discipline and do not resent his rebuke, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in. Proverbs 3:11-12, NIV
Lord our God, we thank you that in spite of all the evil, we may look toward the good and toward a change for the better. For your love, your Spirit of love, can be with us. In spite of all that has gone wrong, we can change. Through genuine faith we can become worthy in your sight. Everything can turn to the good. The nations can become glad, rejoicing in life because you are working among them to help them change. Amen.
Tuesday, February 19, 2019
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is not doing so well today so I thought that I would write to you now to see if that would help me out. I am sure you can see that I am typing you this letter through tears and that is okay. Mom refuses to hide them anymore. Mark and Mom just had another one of our wonderful blow outs. I have never been so disrespected, degraded and spoken to the way I just was. Even through the pain of it and the tears it is something that I need to hear instead of not knowing any of it. Once again, I am the blame of it all and everything is my fault. This is what I will not choose to believe. I have done nothing but care and love Mark and in return just continuously get put down and get told that I piss him off all the time. That is kind of hard to do when he doesn't even talk to me hardly ever anymore. I keep asking myself what I did to deserve all this once again. Am I that bad of a person to be getting this treatment from him? Mom doesn't know what else to do or how much more I can take. I have started to pack my stuff up. I know that I can't take much at all but I will take the things that matter most to me. I will have the pups, my clothes and a few pictures of you that will be with me. The rest will have to go into a storage unit until I can get a job and get on my feet again to get a place to live. I am just so lost right now. I can't even think straight at all. My mind is going in a thousand different directions. The best thing that I can do right now is just lay low, say nothing at all and just do the things I need to do to get by until I can leave this place. Mom is hoping to be out of here by the weekend if I can get everything done in time. I will do some more packing later this evening instead of watching TV. I didn't sleep all that well again last night. I was in bed at 10 pm and up at 4 am because of Ozzy. Mark took off last night around 5:30 pm and didn't get back until after 10:30 pm. Mom had dinner and did the dishes and then I chatted with Auntie Kristina and Meme. The rest of the night I just watched TV before heading to bed. Maybe tonight I will take a nice long bath to try and relax. That sounds really nice. I have no idea if he is going out again for the 3rd night in a row but I don't care at this point. I need to just take care of the pups and start taking care of me. The rest can wait now. Mom wishes that I could say that I have updates for you today but I do not. I have not spoken to anyone at all. Grandpa called last night but I was on the phone with Auntie Kristina. By the time I hung up the phone with her I just didn't feel like talking anymore and it was pretty late too. Mom doesn't think that it will be a good idea to talk to anyone while Mark is here. I will have to do the talking when I am alone now. He doesn't need to hear anything that I have to say or what my plans are. He is not letting me hear anything of his conversations now. He is using a head set. He is just being sneaky. Guess what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right?
Mom tried to study today but after that blow out my head was not in it anymore. I couldn't concentrate any longer. I will try to pick it back up tomorrow again. Maybe tonight I can get some sleep and feel somewhat better in the morning. Time will tell right? Time will do a lot of things...time will heal all this pain that I feel, time will mend the heartache that I have. Mom may not know much of anything right now but what I do know is that I love you with all my heart and soul. I miss you more than words can say. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you will be inside my heart, mind, body and soul. I sure do hope that you have a wonderful night tonight doing all the things you need to and want to do. Come be with Mom or visit me in my dreams if you can. I sure would love that. Thank you my sweet precious son. Mom is going to get going for now. I think I will try to study for a bit more today before calling it a night and turning my computer off. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. I will try to light the candle for you tonight but I am not sure if I will be in the living room at all later. If I am then I will light it but if not then I will try again for tomorrow. I will whisper to you as I always do though. Smile for Mom and I will give you a sweet smile as well. Until tomorrow comes... good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Thus we have come to know and believe the love which God has for us. God is love; he who dwells in love is dwelling in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16, NEB
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is not doing so well today so I thought that I would write to you now to see if that would help me out. I am sure you can see that I am typing you this letter through tears and that is okay. Mom refuses to hide them anymore. Mark and Mom just had another one of our wonderful blow outs. I have never been so disrespected, degraded and spoken to the way I just was. Even through the pain of it and the tears it is something that I need to hear instead of not knowing any of it. Once again, I am the blame of it all and everything is my fault. This is what I will not choose to believe. I have done nothing but care and love Mark and in return just continuously get put down and get told that I piss him off all the time. That is kind of hard to do when he doesn't even talk to me hardly ever anymore. I keep asking myself what I did to deserve all this once again. Am I that bad of a person to be getting this treatment from him? Mom doesn't know what else to do or how much more I can take. I have started to pack my stuff up. I know that I can't take much at all but I will take the things that matter most to me. I will have the pups, my clothes and a few pictures of you that will be with me. The rest will have to go into a storage unit until I can get a job and get on my feet again to get a place to live. I am just so lost right now. I can't even think straight at all. My mind is going in a thousand different directions. The best thing that I can do right now is just lay low, say nothing at all and just do the things I need to do to get by until I can leave this place. Mom is hoping to be out of here by the weekend if I can get everything done in time. I will do some more packing later this evening instead of watching TV. I didn't sleep all that well again last night. I was in bed at 10 pm and up at 4 am because of Ozzy. Mark took off last night around 5:30 pm and didn't get back until after 10:30 pm. Mom had dinner and did the dishes and then I chatted with Auntie Kristina and Meme. The rest of the night I just watched TV before heading to bed. Maybe tonight I will take a nice long bath to try and relax. That sounds really nice. I have no idea if he is going out again for the 3rd night in a row but I don't care at this point. I need to just take care of the pups and start taking care of me. The rest can wait now. Mom wishes that I could say that I have updates for you today but I do not. I have not spoken to anyone at all. Grandpa called last night but I was on the phone with Auntie Kristina. By the time I hung up the phone with her I just didn't feel like talking anymore and it was pretty late too. Mom doesn't think that it will be a good idea to talk to anyone while Mark is here. I will have to do the talking when I am alone now. He doesn't need to hear anything that I have to say or what my plans are. He is not letting me hear anything of his conversations now. He is using a head set. He is just being sneaky. Guess what is good for the goose is good for the gander, right?
Mom tried to study today but after that blow out my head was not in it anymore. I couldn't concentrate any longer. I will try to pick it back up tomorrow again. Maybe tonight I can get some sleep and feel somewhat better in the morning. Time will tell right? Time will do a lot of things...time will heal all this pain that I feel, time will mend the heartache that I have. Mom may not know much of anything right now but what I do know is that I love you with all my heart and soul. I miss you more than words can say. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you will be inside my heart, mind, body and soul. I sure do hope that you have a wonderful night tonight doing all the things you need to and want to do. Come be with Mom or visit me in my dreams if you can. I sure would love that. Thank you my sweet precious son. Mom is going to get going for now. I think I will try to study for a bit more today before calling it a night and turning my computer off. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. I will try to light the candle for you tonight but I am not sure if I will be in the living room at all later. If I am then I will light it but if not then I will try again for tomorrow. I will whisper to you as I always do though. Smile for Mom and I will give you a sweet smile as well. Until tomorrow comes... good night and sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is the prayer for the day:
Thus we have come to know and believe the love which God has for us. God is love; he who dwells in love is dwelling in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:16, NEB
Lord our God, we come to you as poor, heavily burdened people who often do not know where to turn. But we have trust in you, for you are love. Your love penetrates deep into our lives, righting what is wrong and making amends for our blundering. And so we are joyful and await your grace and your help on all our ways. Bless us, and help us find what is right in every situation, to your praise and your honor. Amen.
Monday, February 18, 2019
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