Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today on this late Friday afternoon? Mom is doing alright but it has been a trying night and day for me if I am being honest. I am sorry that I didn't get the chance to write to you yesterday but it was a busy day here as Mom was out in the morning, Mark was gone to the office all day, I had emails and calls to make, all our bills needed to be paid online and then at 5 pm which would have been our dinner time, the men showed up to do the fan and lights in the house. (They were supposed to have come on Wednesday but that never happened. We waited all day and night. We received a call at 7 pm saying they wouldn't be coming until 8 pm and we told them to reschedule.) They were here until about 6:15 pm and after the clean up Mom was able to feed the pups, walk them and then make a quick dinner for Mark and I. We ate at 7 pm and Mom has been kind of sick ever since. I slept ok last night but not well. I was awake a few times and had a hard time getting back to sleep. We woke up at our usual time but Mom was having some tummy issues this morning. Pups were fed and walked late because of that. Everything was done and settled around 8:30 am. Mom did a couple things around the house and then needed to get ready for a hair appointment but when I was getting ready...my tummy troubles started acting up again and I had to cancel that appointment. I have been dealing with this issue all day long. I still feel a bit off. I was tired for a little bit so I just relaxed and let my body rest. Now Mom is pounding the water and hopefully will be feeling a bit better so that I can have a descent dinner and relax more this evening. We shall see. 

Last night, Mom did get the chance to call Grandpa. I guess they are doing well from what they said. It was raining there so they were hanging in all day. They were also waiting to get an estimate on how much it was going to cost for a new roof, skirting and a few other things. Guess they won't be coming here for a vacation anytime soon. Hearing that made me so sad. I wanted to cry but I didn't. It just sucks. Mom misses Grandpa so much. I guess we are going to have to make a trip there to see them this Fall. Mom is not sure. After that call was done..it was about 8:30 pm...we were going to relax, watch a bit of tv and then go to bed but an email that Mark got changed that completely. It was not a good email either. The job that he was doing...that paid the monthly bills, well that job was done without any warning as of last night. I guess the big wigs of that company decided yesterday afternoon that they were going to make serious changes and let a bunch of folks go. Mark was one on that receiving end. After he told me, he was quiet and I didn't ask any questions. I just said that we would get through it all again just like we always do. I would stand by him through it all just like I have the last 6 times that this has happened. He thanked me and then was quiet again. Today has been quiet as well. He has been quiet. I haven't pushed the issue at all. I figured when he wanted to discuss it he would and until then I was not going to bring it up. Everything will work out in the end. Mom's faith is strong and I know things will get better again. This happened last year too. this year it is 2 weeks before my Birthday and last year was 1 week before. I hate it for him. He works hard and knows his stuff. He helps everyone out and gives them what they want and then lets him go. It is not right. I think this weekend is going to be a lot different now. Mom will keep you posted on everything. Please keep us safe and healthy and help us my sweet precious son. Thank you so much.

It is already 4:37 pm. In about 20 minutes it will be time to feed the pups and walk them and then start dinner for us. No clue as to what to eat though. I will figure something out.  I think tonight is going to be quiet again. We will have dinner and then Mark will be on the computer looking for a job. Meme and Bob will go to bed at the usual time as well. They got their mattresses delivered today so they should get a good night sleep. Mom will whisper to you like I always do. Smile for me and I will smile to you. I will light the candle warmer as well for you. Have fun while I sleep tonight and come visit me in my dreams if you can. I will be back over the weekend to write to you. I know Mark and Mom will be putting his lift thing together tomorrow morning and then nothing during the day now. He has to work 4 pm to midnight at this 1 job. Hard to believe he had 3 jobs and things were swell and now he has 1 job and things are super rocky again. This job doesn't cover everything. Anyways... Mom will be back with another letter either Saturday or Sunday or maybe both days depending on what goes on. Tomorrow is the 1st day of May. We will be in the 5th month of 2021 already. Seems like yesterday that it was January. This year is flying by....Mom will turn 50 in 16 days as well. I can hear you laugh and saying that I am old....lol. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. 

Fly high and free, Tyler. I miss you more than any words could ever express. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing alright. It is 4 pm and I have about 30 minutes to get things going before it is time to feed the pups and walk them. I wanted to write to you now before I didn't have a chance to.

It is another warm one out there today. Mom was up early this morning. The pups were fed, walked and then I got ready. I did a bit of cleaning as well. After I got ready, I went to the store to pick a few things up and got breakfast for us. I got home probably 30 minutes later and opened up my mail. I hadn't been to the post office in over a week...lol. Got that all set and then came up to my office to start the day. I made calls and sent emails out to folks that I needed to. The rest of the day has been troubleshooting the guys who were supposed to have been here at 12:30 pm to put a ceiling fan up and 2 pendant lights. I messaged and was told they were running late. It is now almost 4 hours late. Mom doesn't have a clue to what the hell is going on. This always happens to us. Mark told me to give them until 4:30 pm and then contact them to say we have to reschedule. I agree. The way that it is going they won't be here until after dinner time and that disrupts everyone. I guess I will reschedule for tomorrow hopefully or Friday at the latest. They ask us to be patience but after 4 hours of being late, I think they are asking a bit much. Anyways...we shall see what happens. 

Mom is loving her new car. It is so fun to drive especially around here. Meme likes hers too but is still jealous that mine has more things then hers does....I said whatever! She didn't need to get one at all but she did. I guess she will always complain or be jealous of something.....anyways....

Mom has a funny story for you... I can so hear your laughter right now and that brings me so much peace and comfort. Mom was on the phone with Auntie Kristina and I had to use the bathroom really quick... I thought it would be a quick in and out but to my surprise.... I lifted the toilet seat up and saw something in the toilet. It looked like a leaf so I went in to look closer and saw that it was actually a toad or frog in the toilet bowl. I screamed like a freakin girl.... I got off the phone with Auntie Kristina and ran to Mark. By the time he got to my office, the toad or frog...not sure which it is...it was brown and ugly...it was no longer on the side of the bowl, it was going back down in the water. Mark flushed him down and then took the plunger to it. The dang thing is gone but Mom is still freaked out. I won't use that bathroom right now...ugh! I know you are laughing at me and like I said, I can hear you and that makes me smile. I miss you laugh so much and I miss you more than anything. Mom is such a girl....lol. Mark was laughing at me too so don't worry...hahahaha. Only Mom...it wouldn't happen to anyone else that is for sure! 

Tonight will be all about relaxing and unwinding after 2 full days of being so busy plus Mark is at the office tomorrow so he will have to get up early. He will be gone all day long. Tomorrow is the day that Mom has nothing to really do so I may work on my papers for the June box for a bit. I can really get ahead with things. I am still looking for my August Box which will be the year Anniversary one so that will be very special! This weekend it will not be a fun one...at least Saturday. Mark has a cutover during the afternoon from 12 noon to 5 pm and then from 4 pm to 12 midnight he is doing another one for his 2nd job. Sunday will be the day that we will have to spend together. we may just go for a ride in the jeep or just hang at home. Not sure right now. We are still trying to get our pool up and ready. We are having a bit of a hard time right now. We want it ready for next weekend when it is going to be 96 degrees outside. We shall see...stay tuned for those updates.

Still nothing from Aunt Beck or the family on either side. Guess they are busy and all is well...not sure. I will reach out to Grandpa though as I didn't last night. I will tell you about it on tomorrows letter. It is after 4:30 pm now. I must reach out to the company to cancel them for the day and reschedule. I have a couple more things to do before dinner time. I will be back tomorrow though. I will whisper to you like I do nightly. Smile for Mom and I will smile to you my sweet precious son. I will light the candle warmer for you as well. Have fun while I sleep tonight and come visit me in my dreams if you can. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Until tomorrow comes....please watch over us and keep us safe and healthy. Good night and sweet dreams, pumpkin. 

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💜

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is doing good for a change. I have been up since 5 am. Took my shower, fed the pups, walked them and I was on the road at 6 am. I headed to a few towns over...about an hour away and guess what???? I got my car this morning. I was there and home by 8 am. I cleaned it all up and got her all nice and pretty! I love it so much! After I finished that up, I got breakfast and then came into my office to make calls and send emails out. I had about 30 minutes before I needed to leave again. I just got home and ordered dinner for tonight. I am too tired to cook and I wanted to celebrate so pizza it is for everyone! Then later it will be crashing early and going to bed. Mom is exhausted...lol! 

All this week is busy... Monday was suppose to be my car but we ran around still, today was the car, my nail appointment and Meme got her car too, Wednesday we are having work done to the house for a couple hours, Thursday....nothing for Mom but Mark is at his office and then Friday Mom has her hair appointment and Meme and Bob's beds get delivered. The weekend is free!!!!  Told you it was jammed packed this week...lol! 

It is already 3:45 pm. The day has just flown by. Mom has time to write to you and then it will be time again to feed the pups, walk them and then our dinner will arrive shortly after. Mark has had a busy day as well. He was up with Mom, got the car and then home to start work. He has been on the phone ever since. Poor guy. There is never a time when he is not on the phone. I think tonight will be dinner, a glass of wine, a hot bubble bath and then bed. I know the pups are tired too as they were up early as well. They were able to sleep all day though. I hope the neighbors are quiet tonight. I hear them outside now. It is super hot here today...91 degrees I believe. This weekend the pool should be ready for us to go in so that will be amazing! Mom is happy about that! It has been 9 months since we have been in it. It is about time!!!!  Not much else is going on. No calls, no updates on our family. I will call Grandpa later to check in but other then that...nothing! Maybe later in the week or the weekend. Who knows though. Mom will update you as I know of things. 

Tonight I will light the candle warmer for you. I will whisper to you as I always do before I fall asleep. Smile when you hear me and I will smile back to you. I hope you have lots of fun while Mom is resting. Please come visit me in my dreams if you can. I am still looking for that painting in the sky. Maybe tonight??? I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. I will write while the guys are here working on the home. That will be the best time. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom is going to go for now so I can finish things up. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams. I miss you more than words my sweet precious son....

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday late afternoon? Mom is kind of upset but I will be ok. I will explain in a minute. I am sorry that a whole weekend went by again and I didn't write to you but that was not the intention at all. Here is what took place:

Saturday~ Mom and Mark were up, fed the pups, walked them and then we got ready. We headed out for a few hours. We went to go look at a car for Mom. We left at 9 am and got home at 2 pm. We were gone longer than expected but the good news is is that I found one. I took it for a test drive and it was awesome! I did all the paperwork that was needed that day and it was that I go and pick it up Monday morning. Saturday night, Mark went out and did some errands while I stayed home. He was back at 8 pm. We had a long day and Mom and Mark were tired. we watched tv for about an hour and crashed. 

Sunday~ Up at the usual time. Mom did a lot. I did laundry, cleaned my car out, vacuumed the carpets upstairs, mopped the floors downstairs and then vacuumed those up as well. We went grocery shopping during the afternoon after Mark got done vacuuming the pool. We grilled dinner last night. Mom cleaned up around 7 pm and then I was so tired that I came upstairs and watched tv and crashed. My computer was never on at all over the weekend.

Monday~ That is today. Up at the usual time feeding the pups and walking them. Mom came right upstairs and made the bed and got ready. We were just waiting for the transfer to go through to go get my new car. All morning and afternoon went by and nothing. It is 5 pm and still there is nothing. To say the least I can't get the car today and probably not tomorrow either as I have an appointment at 1 pm and the guy is not there until after 1 pm. Looks like Wednesday morning will be the day. It is a bummer but there is nothing that we can do about it. We just have to wait. 

Mom wanted to at least write to you even if it was a short letter instead of missing another day. It is time though to go feed the pups and walk them. I have no clue what to eat for dinner but I will figure it out...lol. I will whisper to you later so smile when you hear Mom. I will smile back to you. Have fun tonight while I sleep. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I will be back tomorrow with more updates and a longer letter to you. Please continue to watch over us and keep us safe and healthy. Fly high and free my sweet precious son. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams. I miss you more than anything...more than words can ever say...

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💚

 

Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon?  Mom is doing ok....I am sorry that I was not able to write to you yesterday but Mom was just not in a good head space at all and it would have not been a very nice email so I actually chose not to write to you or talk to anyone at all for that matter. I basically closed my door all day and stayed by myself and then last night I sat in bed until 10 pm and watched tv alone as well. Mark did whatever in his office which I was just fine with. I was in no mood to talk to anyone. Mom is angry, upset and very hurt. Let Mom explain about why....

I has expressed to you on the last letter the other day what was going on where Mom was going to get a vehicle and then Meme threw a hissy fit and said she wanted one. She didn't talk to me for a couple days...well fast forward to yesterday and today....Meme said that she was not going to get that vehicle because it was too much money. I looked yesterday morning and realized that she lied to Mom as she was in the process of purchasing it. About an hour later I found out that the vehicle that I was going to be getting was still at a stand still and not going anywhere. I was told to start looking for something different. I was crushed. Not only was Mom not getting the car of her dreams for her Birthday but Meme was now getting one and I get to be reminded of that every single day. Hers arrives on Monday. She went from all pissy to a little girl laughing and giggling. Mom didn't want to deal with it. How she went about this was all wrong. The whole thing. Now she is rubbing it in my face giving me a play by play to what is going on. I don't want to hear about it. I just don't. She had the nerve to say that I couldn't be happy for her....ya know what... she is right...not because I am jealous but because Mom is so angry at what she did and how she was to me. She couldn't be happy for me last weekend. She has been needing all kinds of help with this vehicle and Mom told her to have Bob help her as I am not going to. With everything that she has said and done and acted...she just has so much nerve to expect Mom to help her out. I won't and I don't have too. That may sound childish but I don't intend it to be that way. Mom is just tired of being lied to and hurt by people that I love....especially your own mother. That is not right....not at all. It is bad enough that I have to see it every day sitting in the driveway as a reminder what Mark was going to do for Mom and now that is not happening. It stings just like losing the sale of the house did 2 weeks ago.  I guess Mom was not suppose to get this car. I don't know. It just hurts like hell. I just want to be alone and listen to music and do my own thing. I don't want to have small talk or pretend to be in a good mood. I just want to be alone and try and process everything in my own way. Yesterday was so much worse than today so that is why Mom didn't write to you. I didn't want the letter to be nasty and I know it would have been. I am sure you have seen that Mom has been keeping her door shut and staying to herself yesterday and today. For the most part, everyone is leaving me alone. Mark comes in from time to time to check on me and that is about it. I don't feel sorry that Meme can't do the things she needs for this vehicle on her own. She wanted it...she needs to do it...period! She always wants everyone to do everything for her now. NOT! Doesn't work that way at all! The other thing that makes Mom see red is that she can just magically come up with a very large...2 figures amount of money to get this vehicle and for 18 months she can't help us or pay us to live here....There are so many variables to this whole thing.....UGH! Anyways...enough of this! 

Not much else is going on. No updates on anything. I spoke to Auntie Kristina for a bit but that is it. Nothing from our family. Maybe over the weekend. I hope to give you some kind of updates soon. Tonight, Mom will be going to bed early. The last couple nights I have not slept well. I have tossed and turned and just been miserable. I hope to get a very good nights rest. I will whisper to you before I go to bed though. Smile for Mom and I will smile to you. Have fun while I get some much needed rest. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Mom will be back over the weekend with another letter to you. I have some things going on Saturday so Mom is not sure if I will be on the computer tomorrow or if it will be Sunday. I think it is suppose to rain again Sunday so that will most likely be the day. If I get the chance though I will write a short letter to you tomorrow as well. 

Please watch over Mom and all of us. Thank you my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. I wish I could hear your voice again. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. You forever live in my heart, my mind, my body and my soul. 

It's that time of day to get things ready for the night routine. It is after 4:15 pm. I must close for right now. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💚

 

 Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Mom is not really in a good mood at all right now. I am angry and really p*ssed off. I just got done eating dinner, cleaning and vacuuming the downstairs. Mark is doing something in his office so I thought I would take a few minutes to write to you before I turn my computer off and call it a night.

Mom and Meme got into it when we went downstairs to feed the pups. There was something that happened earlier today and I made a comment to that incident and she automatically took a defense and got angry. I told her she was angry because she knew I was telling the truth. I told her that she was selfish and mean because she is. She is wanting to make a very large purchase for herself and I asked Bob what he would be splurging on...her response was that it would be nothing because he was going to be helping her with her purchase and he got nothing. I told her that wasn't fair at all and she does that to him all the time. She told me I was trying to pick a fight. No I wasn't... I was stating the obvious as he will not stick up for himself at all as he is afraid to. She then told me that she was not discussing it anymore and that is when I told her basically what I thought. Mom told her that she should be ashamed of herself. She is not making this purchase because she has to, she is doing it out of jealousy. The whole thing is disgusting, Ty. Mom has never known Meme to be this way. I don't know what has gotten into her. She is spiteful and cruel. Aunt Beck says that is why she rarely calls and same with Bean. Now I can see where they are coming from. I know this whole thing doesn't make sense but I will explain it to you now.....

Mom's Birthday as you know is coming up in 24 days. Mark was going to surprise me for my Big 50 Birthday with a trip to Paris but because of Covid we still can't travel there safely so that was out. He wanted to make it a Birthday to remember so he asked what I wanted...Mom was so joking when I said my dream car... a VW Convertible Beetle. He told me to find one and he would buy it for me. I was shocked and couldn't believe that he was being serious. Well, Mom looked and found one. I put a deposit down on it and I am waiting to hear when I will be able to get it. It will be a couple days after my Birthday which is fine. I can't believe it. I have been waiting for 35 years to get this car and it is finally happening. Well.... Mark told Bob and Meme what he was doing for Mom and Bob was happy for me but Meme couldn't be at all. She was angry and said that she wanted one. She was acting like a toddler and was so jealous. Since last week, she has been looking nonstop for one. She told us today that she found one and she is purchasing it. Mom was livid. Seriously...you can't be happy for me because you are jealous and can't take it so you go out and purchase one that is the same year, same everything just different color??? That is how the fight started this evening. Bob can't have anything because his money has to go towards her new vehicle. I feel so bad for him and I wish he would stand up for himself but he won't and I know why. Just sad..... Ugh.... so that is the big surprise and news that Mom was holding back from saying anything to anyone until it happened but I just had to tell you on here because nothing would have made sense unless you were told the whole story. I guess she will be getting hers after I get mine. I don't really know and I really don't care. The whole point is that she can do this when she doesn't have to and Bob again, gets nothing. He never does. I told Meme to grow up! Period and end of story...to say the least she is not talking to me again and is having a temper tantrum like she always does. She is talking to everyone else except me and that is fine. I don't care. I stand behind what I said and I meant it. I will not apologize for anything. As the saying goes... I am not Willy Wonka...I don't sugar coat shit!

It is going on 8 pm and Mom is tired from the day. I have been up since 6:30 am. I will write to you again tomorrow earlier in the day. I hope that you. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Please watch over us and keep us healthy and safe. Thank you my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I am sorry about the vent session on here but I can honestly say I do feel better after getting it off my chest. Hopefully tomorrow I will have updates for you as I have none again tonight. I will put the candle warmer on for you. I will whisper to you before I fall asleep so smile to me and I will smile to you. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams pumpkin. I miss you more than words can say..... 

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙