Saturday, June 28, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I hope that all is the best it can be for you. May you be doing all that you are suppose to do and want to do plus so much more. Mom is doing ok this evening. Sure is hot outside today. Very humid... think it was 92 today. We did some grocery shopping and other errands this afternoon and boy it was tough in the heat. We did get some thunderstorms but it really just made it worse. Now I am back home, everything put away and relaxing while writing to you.
Yesterday was kind of another rough day for Mom. It was 1 year ago that we laid you to your final resting place. Another day that is etched in my mind that I will never forget. Makes me extremely sad to just think about it. I have to live it each and every day without you which is tough enough. Yesterday was also the Greater Claremont Relay For Life. It was the first one that I have missed in 13 years. Oh how I remember how much you used to love to go with me to the Relay. I was so proud that you would go around with me for the very 1st lap for all the Survivors/ Care Givers. It was such an honor for Mom. Something that I am still so passionate about that we got to share together. I am hoping to find the nearest Relay For Life here in Texas and become a part of it. I really want to again seeings how I will not be able to do the Claremont, NH one : (
I sit back and stare out the window here in my loft and think about and realize just how much things change in a years time. Some are happy times, some are sad, and some are just too painful for me. My mind replays it all over & over again... probably too much at times but I don't care. Your smile, your voice, your face is what I miss the most. I still can see you, hear your voice, and see your smile in my mind... these things will never fade away from Mom. Just want you to know this pumpkin. You need to know just how much you are missed and loved from Mom and so many other family & friends. I miss you so much dammit!
I am looking up to the sky and I see clouds with very little blue skies. The sun is usually setting at this time if it was out. The wind is blowing and I think perhaps another storm is about to roll in. Snickers is not going to like that. Hope it is a quick one that is just passing by. I will still look to the sky tonight while I walk the pups. Regardless if I can see the moon and stars shining brightly I know that you are. I will whisper to you as I always do each night. I sure do hope you can hear Mom talking to you.
I hope that you have a restful and peaceful evening. May it be all you need and want it to be. I love you beyond words Tyler. To the moon & back. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I hope that all is the best it can be for you. May you be doing all that you are suppose to do and want to do plus so much more. Mom is doing ok this evening. Sure is hot outside today. Very humid... think it was 92 today. We did some grocery shopping and other errands this afternoon and boy it was tough in the heat. We did get some thunderstorms but it really just made it worse. Now I am back home, everything put away and relaxing while writing to you.
Yesterday was kind of another rough day for Mom. It was 1 year ago that we laid you to your final resting place. Another day that is etched in my mind that I will never forget. Makes me extremely sad to just think about it. I have to live it each and every day without you which is tough enough. Yesterday was also the Greater Claremont Relay For Life. It was the first one that I have missed in 13 years. Oh how I remember how much you used to love to go with me to the Relay. I was so proud that you would go around with me for the very 1st lap for all the Survivors/ Care Givers. It was such an honor for Mom. Something that I am still so passionate about that we got to share together. I am hoping to find the nearest Relay For Life here in Texas and become a part of it. I really want to again seeings how I will not be able to do the Claremont, NH one : (
I sit back and stare out the window here in my loft and think about and realize just how much things change in a years time. Some are happy times, some are sad, and some are just too painful for me. My mind replays it all over & over again... probably too much at times but I don't care. Your smile, your voice, your face is what I miss the most. I still can see you, hear your voice, and see your smile in my mind... these things will never fade away from Mom. Just want you to know this pumpkin. You need to know just how much you are missed and loved from Mom and so many other family & friends. I miss you so much dammit!
I am looking up to the sky and I see clouds with very little blue skies. The sun is usually setting at this time if it was out. The wind is blowing and I think perhaps another storm is about to roll in. Snickers is not going to like that. Hope it is a quick one that is just passing by. I will still look to the sky tonight while I walk the pups. Regardless if I can see the moon and stars shining brightly I know that you are. I will whisper to you as I always do each night. I sure do hope you can hear Mom talking to you.
I hope that you have a restful and peaceful evening. May it be all you need and want it to be. I love you beyond words Tyler. To the moon & back. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you today on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is having a rough day for many reasons but I am managing as I always seem to do. I hope that you are smiling down on us all and helping Mom when I need it the most. I believe that you do because you always wanted me to be happy and not sad.
1 year ago today was another hard thing for Mom to have to do. It was the day of your funeral. So many family & friends gathered around to say their goodbyes, tell stories of you and relive happier times. I remember not wanting to leave the funeral home because I knew that was going to be the last time that I saw you in your " physical form ". When I walked out I would never see your face again... only in pictures and in my mind. It was so hard for me to hold my head high and walk out of there without completely losing it in front of everyone. It was the 2nd toughest day for me...the 1st was losing you altogether. I remember those days like it was yesterday... the feeling of complete loneliness, wondering what I was going to do or how I was going to move forward. I would like to think that after a year I am doing better, but honestly I still find myself feeling the same way. I think there are better days then others. I try to make the best & most of it but some days I fail. I know that it will never get better it will just be different. I know that in my tough days you will be right with me guiding me through it. Thank you Tyler for this. It means more than the world to me. I miss you so much and I love you unconditionally.
26 years ago today... Grandpa, his friend Audrey, and Mom were in that horrific car accident. This is the 1 where I broke all the bones in the left side of my face, shattered my left eye socket, broke my left side of my jaw in 3 places and broke my left femur in half. I was 17 years old. I was sleeping in the back seat of the car when it all happened. I remembering waking up and screaming like I was in a horror movie. It was another living nightmare for me. One would think that after all these years you wouldn't remember all the details that took place, but my mind does not work that way. I remember it all. Sometimes it is a blessing and sometimes a curse. I always asked myself.. Why me?? It wasn't until 5 years later that I received my answer. I needed to go through that all to provide everything I could for you when you 1st got sick. I understood and never regretted going through it all. I am who I am today because of all that and so much more.
31 years ago today my Aunt Jo passed away. I was just 12 years old at the time but I still remember it...it is that mind thing again...lol! She was such a sweet person that I loved very much and I knew she loved me. I wonder at times if you have met her. You would like her if you did. I think of her often along with other family members. If you have met her and see her please tell her I miss her and love her. Thanks Tyler.
Lastly, this morning at 2:20 am a friend of mine lost her Dad. He passed peacefully while she was holding his hand. You will remember him as Frank ( Aunt Shirley was married to him for a few years ). I guess he was sick for some time and his health just failed quickly. I know you liked Frank. He was a sweet man that I knew since I was a little girl. Aunt Becky & his daughter, Dawn were good friends for many years. I hope that he is at peace and that he can fly high and fly free with the best of you now. When you see him.. let him know he is missed by many! Thanks again, Tyler.
The weather still is crappy here in Texas. Lots of rain and storms. Haven't seen the stars shining or the moon in several days but I know you are up there watching over Mom and the rest of us. I whisper to you every night still. Hope you can hear me. I miss you more than anyone can ever know and I love you beyond words. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul. Sweet dreams my precious Angel.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you today on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is having a rough day for many reasons but I am managing as I always seem to do. I hope that you are smiling down on us all and helping Mom when I need it the most. I believe that you do because you always wanted me to be happy and not sad.
1 year ago today was another hard thing for Mom to have to do. It was the day of your funeral. So many family & friends gathered around to say their goodbyes, tell stories of you and relive happier times. I remember not wanting to leave the funeral home because I knew that was going to be the last time that I saw you in your " physical form ". When I walked out I would never see your face again... only in pictures and in my mind. It was so hard for me to hold my head high and walk out of there without completely losing it in front of everyone. It was the 2nd toughest day for me...the 1st was losing you altogether. I remember those days like it was yesterday... the feeling of complete loneliness, wondering what I was going to do or how I was going to move forward. I would like to think that after a year I am doing better, but honestly I still find myself feeling the same way. I think there are better days then others. I try to make the best & most of it but some days I fail. I know that it will never get better it will just be different. I know that in my tough days you will be right with me guiding me through it. Thank you Tyler for this. It means more than the world to me. I miss you so much and I love you unconditionally.
26 years ago today... Grandpa, his friend Audrey, and Mom were in that horrific car accident. This is the 1 where I broke all the bones in the left side of my face, shattered my left eye socket, broke my left side of my jaw in 3 places and broke my left femur in half. I was 17 years old. I was sleeping in the back seat of the car when it all happened. I remembering waking up and screaming like I was in a horror movie. It was another living nightmare for me. One would think that after all these years you wouldn't remember all the details that took place, but my mind does not work that way. I remember it all. Sometimes it is a blessing and sometimes a curse. I always asked myself.. Why me?? It wasn't until 5 years later that I received my answer. I needed to go through that all to provide everything I could for you when you 1st got sick. I understood and never regretted going through it all. I am who I am today because of all that and so much more.
31 years ago today my Aunt Jo passed away. I was just 12 years old at the time but I still remember it...it is that mind thing again...lol! She was such a sweet person that I loved very much and I knew she loved me. I wonder at times if you have met her. You would like her if you did. I think of her often along with other family members. If you have met her and see her please tell her I miss her and love her. Thanks Tyler.
Lastly, this morning at 2:20 am a friend of mine lost her Dad. He passed peacefully while she was holding his hand. You will remember him as Frank ( Aunt Shirley was married to him for a few years ). I guess he was sick for some time and his health just failed quickly. I know you liked Frank. He was a sweet man that I knew since I was a little girl. Aunt Becky & his daughter, Dawn were good friends for many years. I hope that he is at peace and that he can fly high and fly free with the best of you now. When you see him.. let him know he is missed by many! Thanks again, Tyler.
The weather still is crappy here in Texas. Lots of rain and storms. Haven't seen the stars shining or the moon in several days but I know you are up there watching over Mom and the rest of us. I whisper to you every night still. Hope you can hear me. I miss you more than anyone can ever know and I love you beyond words. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul. Sweet dreams my precious Angel.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, June 22, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing in Heaven on this Sunday evening? I hope that today is all that you want it to be and so much more for you. Here in Texas it is a hot, humid, but overcast day. Looks like it just started to rain. Mom is doing better than she was. As I was telling you in previous letters.. I was sick the whole time I was in NH...I know go figure, right??? I am doing better now that I am back in the warmer climate that I have been used to for the last 1 1/2 years! I have not once complained about the heat and boy I will not either. I will take it over the cold any day! My routine is starting to get back to what " normal " is for me again. Starting my workouts again tomorrow and getting things in order for me. Max is really giving us a run for our money these last several days. Don't know what to do about it anymore. He tries to go up the stairs and just falls down. We tell him he is not alone and all he does is sit the bottom of the stairs and whines and cries so loud that it gives both Mark & I instant headaches. We just don't know what to do anymore. We got this fake grass thing that is outside for him to do his business on and he totally hates it and won't use it. Tyler.... if there is anything you can do for Max, please help him out. We are at a loss right now and Mom could really use your help in this. Snickers is doing good. My arm is pretty much healed where he bit me so I am happy about that. Not sure what to do about him either. If you can help Snicks out too... I would gladly appreciate it!!! Thanks pumpkin!
Spoke to your Dad last night. He was in Texas.. just a couple hours from Mom. Guess he is back to work and really liking his new job. He sounded well. He was saying that the job takes him away from Amy, Orion, & Emma for a fair amount of time ( 6 months to 1 year ). They can visit though so that is good. He is headed to Oklahoma for the month of July and then back to Texas for a few months. When he is back we are going to try and get together to see one another. I think it will be good for us. We will always remain close and have a special bond because of you being our son. I would like to think that you are smiling down and saying yes to this! I know it was always something that meant a lot to you to have your Dad & I get along. I wish that could have happened more while you were still with us to see but I know you are still witnessing it just in a different way!
Tiffany got married yesterday! Can't believe that she is that old to get married...lol! She had an empty chair right in the front for you. It had a picture of the 2 of you on it. I told her that you would be honored to attend and I know you were there for her. She called me today and told me that something had happened at the wedding that she wanted me to know about. After that call... I know you were there! I can't wait to hear what she had to say : )
Everything else is the same. Marion & Charlie got back home yesterday from their honeymoon. They said that they had a beautiful and relaxing time in Florida! So happy for them : ) The family is all good too! Meme did call me today to let me know that Bob had an anxiety attack in the store today. Guess it was pretty bad. He called his doctor up so she prescribed a medicine for him. He is calling the neurologist at DHMC tomorrow. Guess he is pretty scared. Hope something good comes out of it. When we saw him he really didn't look well. Breathing was funny, very tired, and didn't say much at all. So sad to see this. Please be with him Tyler and if you can help out.. please do! Thank you so much for this and all you do for us on a regular basis. Means so much to Mom.
I will look to the sky tonight to see if the stars and moon are shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be able to hear me. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, thoughts and mind. Sweet dreams Tyler!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing in Heaven on this Sunday evening? I hope that today is all that you want it to be and so much more for you. Here in Texas it is a hot, humid, but overcast day. Looks like it just started to rain. Mom is doing better than she was. As I was telling you in previous letters.. I was sick the whole time I was in NH...I know go figure, right??? I am doing better now that I am back in the warmer climate that I have been used to for the last 1 1/2 years! I have not once complained about the heat and boy I will not either. I will take it over the cold any day! My routine is starting to get back to what " normal " is for me again. Starting my workouts again tomorrow and getting things in order for me. Max is really giving us a run for our money these last several days. Don't know what to do about it anymore. He tries to go up the stairs and just falls down. We tell him he is not alone and all he does is sit the bottom of the stairs and whines and cries so loud that it gives both Mark & I instant headaches. We just don't know what to do anymore. We got this fake grass thing that is outside for him to do his business on and he totally hates it and won't use it. Tyler.... if there is anything you can do for Max, please help him out. We are at a loss right now and Mom could really use your help in this. Snickers is doing good. My arm is pretty much healed where he bit me so I am happy about that. Not sure what to do about him either. If you can help Snicks out too... I would gladly appreciate it!!! Thanks pumpkin!
Spoke to your Dad last night. He was in Texas.. just a couple hours from Mom. Guess he is back to work and really liking his new job. He sounded well. He was saying that the job takes him away from Amy, Orion, & Emma for a fair amount of time ( 6 months to 1 year ). They can visit though so that is good. He is headed to Oklahoma for the month of July and then back to Texas for a few months. When he is back we are going to try and get together to see one another. I think it will be good for us. We will always remain close and have a special bond because of you being our son. I would like to think that you are smiling down and saying yes to this! I know it was always something that meant a lot to you to have your Dad & I get along. I wish that could have happened more while you were still with us to see but I know you are still witnessing it just in a different way!
Tiffany got married yesterday! Can't believe that she is that old to get married...lol! She had an empty chair right in the front for you. It had a picture of the 2 of you on it. I told her that you would be honored to attend and I know you were there for her. She called me today and told me that something had happened at the wedding that she wanted me to know about. After that call... I know you were there! I can't wait to hear what she had to say : )
Everything else is the same. Marion & Charlie got back home yesterday from their honeymoon. They said that they had a beautiful and relaxing time in Florida! So happy for them : ) The family is all good too! Meme did call me today to let me know that Bob had an anxiety attack in the store today. Guess it was pretty bad. He called his doctor up so she prescribed a medicine for him. He is calling the neurologist at DHMC tomorrow. Guess he is pretty scared. Hope something good comes out of it. When we saw him he really didn't look well. Breathing was funny, very tired, and didn't say much at all. So sad to see this. Please be with him Tyler and if you can help out.. please do! Thank you so much for this and all you do for us on a regular basis. Means so much to Mom.
I will look to the sky tonight to see if the stars and moon are shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be able to hear me. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, thoughts and mind. Sweet dreams Tyler!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, June 20, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! I don't even know where to start this letter to you today. My heart is shattered so much more today then every other day. I am reliving the horrific scenes in my head of what happened last year on this very day. I remember it all like it was yesterday. Every hour that goes by I know exactly where I was and what I was saying and doing. This was the worst day of my life EVER. In the early evening, Mom had to make a big decision and the hardest one no Mother should ever have to make. I didn't know what to do even though I had many family by my side. I was listening to the doctors too, but I felt so alone and so sad, angry, hurt, etc... for what needed to be done. For a few minutes I wanted to be selfish but then I kept looking at you and I knew that I couldn't do that. I couldn't sit there and watch you. I didn't know if you were suffering so I did the only thing I knew... I let you go. At 5:37pm your heart stopped and I lost you. I lost me. Everything went silent. I was numb. I was in a fog of what just happened. I couldn't move but yet I found myself walking around in circles. I couldn't say anything to anyone. I just lost the 1 thing in my life that mattered the most to me. I lost my everything. Every emotion was going through my body but yet I couldn't cry. My body was in shock. I remember the nurse coming in and telling me that we needed to leave for a few. I didn't want to but they made me. When I returned I remember sitting down and just looking at you, talking to you and then the tears flowed freely. I thought that maybe when I left and came back it would all be a dream, but it turned out to be a living nightmare...1 that I relive over and over on a daily basis. I sat with you for a couple hours. Talking to you and wondering if you were able to see me, if you were already in Heaven watching over us all. I told you to be free, to fly high and not to look back. You deserved it more than anyone I have ever known. You deserved to be without limitations..... to walk, run, jump, and do all that you have wanted to do for so long. It was getting late and I knew that I had to be going but I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave you there alone. I started to walk out of the room and my hands clenched the curtain. I started to cry even more. Mark had to pull me away and he told me that everything would be ok.
June 20, 2014... 1 year later...365 days without you here with me. So much has gone on. Another move, a new state to live in, new people to meet, new challenges to face. I would like to think that you are guiding me through it all. My Faith has got stronger since I lost you and I do believe that you are with me and all of our family & friends in our time of need. I believe that when I call on you ( which is all the time! ) you are here with me and helping me. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.
I read somewhere once that when a love one passes on from the physical world they continue growing from the Spiritual side. For this to happen we, in the physical world need to continue to live our lives as necessary. We need to laugh, smile, and as hard as it is to move on. This way you grow, learn, and do all the things you need to do in the Heavens above. When I read that I knew that I had to change my ways... I was depressed and going downhill fast. I couldn't do that to you. I didn't or couldn't hold you back from anything. I didn't want you to have anymore limitations. You had too many, more than anyone should have here in the physical world. I wanted you to sore, to spread your wings and fly....I sure hope you are doing just that.
I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Your smile, your voice, the way you laughed, your beautiful brown eyes and those dang eyelashes that everyone raved about. I miss our talks, playing games with you, our walks, our vacations and yes.. I even miss our fights. Nothing is the same anymore. I am not the same anymore. I never will be again. I try really hard some days to smile and laugh so that I can make you happy. I want you to be proud of me as I was ALWAYS so proud of you. You were and always will be my HERO!!!! I love you my sweet precious son. To the moon and back and all the way around the world.
I will continue to look to the skies at night time. To see the stars and the moon shining brightly. It lets me know that you are there watching over me. I will continue to whisper to you as I always do. I hope you hear me... I hope you listen for Mom's voice. Fly high and fly free Tyler. I know you are doing wonderful things up there. Forever in my heart, mind, body, and soul. Sweet dreams tonight. You are the Wind Beneath my Wings......
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! I don't even know where to start this letter to you today. My heart is shattered so much more today then every other day. I am reliving the horrific scenes in my head of what happened last year on this very day. I remember it all like it was yesterday. Every hour that goes by I know exactly where I was and what I was saying and doing. This was the worst day of my life EVER. In the early evening, Mom had to make a big decision and the hardest one no Mother should ever have to make. I didn't know what to do even though I had many family by my side. I was listening to the doctors too, but I felt so alone and so sad, angry, hurt, etc... for what needed to be done. For a few minutes I wanted to be selfish but then I kept looking at you and I knew that I couldn't do that. I couldn't sit there and watch you. I didn't know if you were suffering so I did the only thing I knew... I let you go. At 5:37pm your heart stopped and I lost you. I lost me. Everything went silent. I was numb. I was in a fog of what just happened. I couldn't move but yet I found myself walking around in circles. I couldn't say anything to anyone. I just lost the 1 thing in my life that mattered the most to me. I lost my everything. Every emotion was going through my body but yet I couldn't cry. My body was in shock. I remember the nurse coming in and telling me that we needed to leave for a few. I didn't want to but they made me. When I returned I remember sitting down and just looking at you, talking to you and then the tears flowed freely. I thought that maybe when I left and came back it would all be a dream, but it turned out to be a living nightmare...1 that I relive over and over on a daily basis. I sat with you for a couple hours. Talking to you and wondering if you were able to see me, if you were already in Heaven watching over us all. I told you to be free, to fly high and not to look back. You deserved it more than anyone I have ever known. You deserved to be without limitations..... to walk, run, jump, and do all that you have wanted to do for so long. It was getting late and I knew that I had to be going but I didn't want to. I didn't want to leave you there alone. I started to walk out of the room and my hands clenched the curtain. I started to cry even more. Mark had to pull me away and he told me that everything would be ok.
June 20, 2014... 1 year later...365 days without you here with me. So much has gone on. Another move, a new state to live in, new people to meet, new challenges to face. I would like to think that you are guiding me through it all. My Faith has got stronger since I lost you and I do believe that you are with me and all of our family & friends in our time of need. I believe that when I call on you ( which is all the time! ) you are here with me and helping me. I thank you for that from the bottom of my heart.
I read somewhere once that when a love one passes on from the physical world they continue growing from the Spiritual side. For this to happen we, in the physical world need to continue to live our lives as necessary. We need to laugh, smile, and as hard as it is to move on. This way you grow, learn, and do all the things you need to do in the Heavens above. When I read that I knew that I had to change my ways... I was depressed and going downhill fast. I couldn't do that to you. I didn't or couldn't hold you back from anything. I didn't want you to have anymore limitations. You had too many, more than anyone should have here in the physical world. I wanted you to sore, to spread your wings and fly....I sure hope you are doing just that.
I miss you so much. I miss everything about you. Your smile, your voice, the way you laughed, your beautiful brown eyes and those dang eyelashes that everyone raved about. I miss our talks, playing games with you, our walks, our vacations and yes.. I even miss our fights. Nothing is the same anymore. I am not the same anymore. I never will be again. I try really hard some days to smile and laugh so that I can make you happy. I want you to be proud of me as I was ALWAYS so proud of you. You were and always will be my HERO!!!! I love you my sweet precious son. To the moon and back and all the way around the world.
I will continue to look to the skies at night time. To see the stars and the moon shining brightly. It lets me know that you are there watching over me. I will continue to whisper to you as I always do. I hope you hear me... I hope you listen for Mom's voice. Fly high and fly free Tyler. I know you are doing wonderful things up there. Forever in my heart, mind, body, and soul. Sweet dreams tonight. You are the Wind Beneath my Wings......
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, June 18, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? Mom is quite sad today but I am managing to get by. I am so sorry that I was unable to write to you while in NH. I tried the 1 night on my tablet and had so much trouble that it got the best of me and I didn't try again. I am so glad to be back in Texas so that I can write to you on a regular basis again. I have felt so disconnected from you the last 6 days. Anyways... so much to tell you!
First off I wanted to say thank you for watching over us while we flew to NH and then back to TX. I know you were with Mark & I and it made me feel so much more comfortable. The flights were pretty much smooth except for a couple times. Knowing you were there with me helped and made it easier. Second, thank you for hearing my prayers and helping me get threw the sickness that I had on Friday & Saturday. Those were pretty rough days and couldn't have come at a worse time. You helped me through them so that I could do my part as a Bridesmaid and not ruin their day!
Marion & Charlie's wedding was really nice. Right amount of guests for what they wanted and Marion was such a beautiful Bride & Charlie looked so handsome. They are now married and enjoying their honeymoon. I am so happy for them. I want the best for them always. They are very special friends to me... just like family!
It was so nice.. beyond nice to see our family. I got to see Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Aunt Becky, Great Grammy, Aunt Shirley, Richard, Great Aunt Marion, plus so many friends over the 5 days of being back home. I miss them all and the time went way too fast for me. I went to see you too... it was Sunday, June 15th... Father's Day. Our whole family came with me and we released 18 balloons to the Heavens for you. I sent 1 balloon up to Amy and 1 balloon to Wendy as well. We all put special sayings on them and sent them up to you. I hope you got them and you were floating on them like you did before. I know that Friday is your 1 year Anniversary but I did not want to wait until then. I wanted to do them while I was home and with the rest of the family. I will be sending you up some more balloons on your Birthday next month!
Today is just a hard day for me. It is 1 year ago that we skyped for over 1 hour and laughed, joked, and had a couple serious talks. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember everything about that night. I can hear your voice still... the only thing I didn't know is that it would be the last time we ever spoke to each other. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. If I had only known.... Tomorrow starts the nightmare all over again for me just like every month but worse because it is the month of June. Friday will be the worst of it all. The 1 year of losing you and what a hell year it has been. Such a whirlwind of emotions for Mom. I am glad that I will be alone most of those days so that I can do what I want and just cry if I need to. I miss you so much Tyler. I miss everything about you. I love you so much pumpkin. I just hope you know this and never forget it!
I am hoping that now that we are back home and Bonnie has gone I can get back to my routine of things. I will look to the evening sky tonight and will hope to see the stars shining brightly. Regardless I know you are up in the Heavens doing good things. I will whisper to you as I always do. Please be listening out for Mom. I hope you have a wonderful night that is restful and peaceful. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
I love you with all my heart, mind, body, & soul....Forever..... Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? Mom is quite sad today but I am managing to get by. I am so sorry that I was unable to write to you while in NH. I tried the 1 night on my tablet and had so much trouble that it got the best of me and I didn't try again. I am so glad to be back in Texas so that I can write to you on a regular basis again. I have felt so disconnected from you the last 6 days. Anyways... so much to tell you!
First off I wanted to say thank you for watching over us while we flew to NH and then back to TX. I know you were with Mark & I and it made me feel so much more comfortable. The flights were pretty much smooth except for a couple times. Knowing you were there with me helped and made it easier. Second, thank you for hearing my prayers and helping me get threw the sickness that I had on Friday & Saturday. Those were pretty rough days and couldn't have come at a worse time. You helped me through them so that I could do my part as a Bridesmaid and not ruin their day!
Marion & Charlie's wedding was really nice. Right amount of guests for what they wanted and Marion was such a beautiful Bride & Charlie looked so handsome. They are now married and enjoying their honeymoon. I am so happy for them. I want the best for them always. They are very special friends to me... just like family!
It was so nice.. beyond nice to see our family. I got to see Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie, Aunt Becky, Great Grammy, Aunt Shirley, Richard, Great Aunt Marion, plus so many friends over the 5 days of being back home. I miss them all and the time went way too fast for me. I went to see you too... it was Sunday, June 15th... Father's Day. Our whole family came with me and we released 18 balloons to the Heavens for you. I sent 1 balloon up to Amy and 1 balloon to Wendy as well. We all put special sayings on them and sent them up to you. I hope you got them and you were floating on them like you did before. I know that Friday is your 1 year Anniversary but I did not want to wait until then. I wanted to do them while I was home and with the rest of the family. I will be sending you up some more balloons on your Birthday next month!
Today is just a hard day for me. It is 1 year ago that we skyped for over 1 hour and laughed, joked, and had a couple serious talks. I remember it like it was yesterday. I remember everything about that night. I can hear your voice still... the only thing I didn't know is that it would be the last time we ever spoke to each other. Just thinking about it brings me to tears. If I had only known.... Tomorrow starts the nightmare all over again for me just like every month but worse because it is the month of June. Friday will be the worst of it all. The 1 year of losing you and what a hell year it has been. Such a whirlwind of emotions for Mom. I am glad that I will be alone most of those days so that I can do what I want and just cry if I need to. I miss you so much Tyler. I miss everything about you. I love you so much pumpkin. I just hope you know this and never forget it!
I am hoping that now that we are back home and Bonnie has gone I can get back to my routine of things. I will look to the evening sky tonight and will hope to see the stars shining brightly. Regardless I know you are up in the Heavens doing good things. I will whisper to you as I always do. Please be listening out for Mom. I hope you have a wonderful night that is restful and peaceful. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
I love you with all my heart, mind, body, & soul....Forever..... Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, June 8, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? The weather here is so dang hot and humid. It is making your Momma sick. I have such a huge headache. It sucks. You go outside and you suck in your breath to get familiar with the weather. These next 3 months are going to be pure hell with the humidity. I will get through it though. Won't be doing much either, but that is fine.
Bonnie is here visiting again for a few days. She will be watching the dogs for us as we travel back to NH this week. We leave on Wednesday morning. Please be with us as we travel home. I know you will be right with me or flying with the plane! Thank you so much for that. You know me and flying....lol :)
These last several days have been so busy for me with packing and getting things set. I have been up to my ears with everything so it will be nice to just chill and relax the day we are flying. I have been thinking about you so much more than what I usually do. I know this is because it is coming close to your 1 year Anniversary. I just can't believe that it will be 1 year without you. It makes me so sad and breaks my heart. I hate it. I never thought I would have to live my life without you in it. My life has changed so much since you have left. Most of the time I don't know what I am doing or what I want to do with my life now. I know I need to do something.. I guess I am just still so lost. Nothing matters to me anymore. I just go with the day and I get through it. I know this is not what you want to hear or see, but I just can't help it. I miss you so much! I love you Tyler. I just hope that you are happy now. I know that you are happy as far as not having anymore limitations to have to live with. I am sure that you are learning so much more and that all the questions that you never got answered here you got answered when you passed. That honestly makes me happy for you pumpkin. I know all those years you wondered why? What was your purpose, etc...? Know it is my curiosity to wonder why.
I am hoping that the sky is clear this evening so that I can see the stars shining brightly. If not I know you will still be shining up there in the Heavens. I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will be able to hear me. Please know I think of you every second of every minute of every day. You are forever in my mind, heart, thoughts and soul.
I will write to you more later...until then...fly high and fly free my precious son. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? The weather here is so dang hot and humid. It is making your Momma sick. I have such a huge headache. It sucks. You go outside and you suck in your breath to get familiar with the weather. These next 3 months are going to be pure hell with the humidity. I will get through it though. Won't be doing much either, but that is fine.
Bonnie is here visiting again for a few days. She will be watching the dogs for us as we travel back to NH this week. We leave on Wednesday morning. Please be with us as we travel home. I know you will be right with me or flying with the plane! Thank you so much for that. You know me and flying....lol :)
These last several days have been so busy for me with packing and getting things set. I have been up to my ears with everything so it will be nice to just chill and relax the day we are flying. I have been thinking about you so much more than what I usually do. I know this is because it is coming close to your 1 year Anniversary. I just can't believe that it will be 1 year without you. It makes me so sad and breaks my heart. I hate it. I never thought I would have to live my life without you in it. My life has changed so much since you have left. Most of the time I don't know what I am doing or what I want to do with my life now. I know I need to do something.. I guess I am just still so lost. Nothing matters to me anymore. I just go with the day and I get through it. I know this is not what you want to hear or see, but I just can't help it. I miss you so much! I love you Tyler. I just hope that you are happy now. I know that you are happy as far as not having anymore limitations to have to live with. I am sure that you are learning so much more and that all the questions that you never got answered here you got answered when you passed. That honestly makes me happy for you pumpkin. I know all those years you wondered why? What was your purpose, etc...? Know it is my curiosity to wonder why.
I am hoping that the sky is clear this evening so that I can see the stars shining brightly. If not I know you will still be shining up there in the Heavens. I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope you will be able to hear me. Please know I think of you every second of every minute of every day. You are forever in my mind, heart, thoughts and soul.
I will write to you more later...until then...fly high and fly free my precious son. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, June 6, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! I hope you are doing well today. Mom is doing ok. I have had a pretty busy day and now have a headache from hell. I am going to go to bed early but wanted to at least write to you to tell you that I love and miss you so much.
I will write you a long letter tomorrow night. Until then please continue to watch over Mom, Mark and the rest of the family & friends. I will look to the sky to see the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do.
Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, soul & thoughts.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart! I hope you are doing well today. Mom is doing ok. I have had a pretty busy day and now have a headache from hell. I am going to go to bed early but wanted to at least write to you to tell you that I love and miss you so much.
I will write you a long letter tomorrow night. Until then please continue to watch over Mom, Mark and the rest of the family & friends. I will look to the sky to see the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do.
Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, soul & thoughts.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, June 4, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet precious son. How are you doing today on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope that Heaven is a beautiful place and it is true to what we have seen in pictures, movies, and what we have been told. I hope that you are doing all that you want to do and need to do. I am sure you are learning so many new things up there. I will look forward to 1 day reuniting with you so that you can be the 1 to show me around and tell me all about what you have been learning. I believe in reincarnation and I often wonder if we will be together in another life somehow. I remember you saying over a year ago when I had my reading done... that you knew me in many different forms. I wonder all the time what exactly those forms and people were. Curiosity kills the cat as they say and it sure does me when it comes to what you are doing, how do you spend your day, etc.. so many questions for you. I have been wanting another reading done with Forrest but I have been holding out because I would love to have it done around the same time as the first one... to see what has been taking place a year later. I would hope that you would come through and tell me more things. I just want to know you are happy and hear all that you want me to know. I miss you so much.
My mind has been heavy these last few days. Thinking about a year ago, what took place, saying goodbye to you, and your services. The middle of the month is going to be tough for me. I won't be able to be at your resting place in NH for your 1 year anniversary but you can rest assure that I will be in Texas sending you balloons and telling you how much I love and miss you. I know there are several family & friends that will be doing the same so hold on tight to be floating on so many balloons again. I will be doing this for your Birthday too. I will do this every year that I can. It means a lot to me to honor you in such a way plus to let you know just how loved and missed you truly are.
The weather here is starting to really get hot hot hot & humid... yuck. In for this for the next 3 months. AC is going to be our best friends and we won't be doing much of anything for awhile. Can't ... the sun is just too intense. Mom is doing ok. Snickers is better today. Thank you for your help. He ate some food today and drank a little. Not eating the grass and hasn't been sick yet so we are on our way to a healthy pup again. My arm where he bit me is healing slowly but in the right direction. Still swelling and the bruises are nasty looking. The wound itself is closing and clean which is great! Thank you for taking care of me along with all the other Angels in the Heaven above.
The stars have been shining brightly the last few nights. Always a huge smile on my face when I see this. I whisper to you nightly. I hope you can hear me. I look forward to my late night chat with you. Makes me feel very close to you in so many ways. I will look to the sky tonight and whisper to you. Be listening out for Mom.
I hope your evening is restful, peaceful, and all that you want it to be. You are forever in my mind, heart, soul, and thoughts. To the moon & back and all the way around the world. You and me for the world... ;) Your words now.. not mine!
Sweet dreams! Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet precious son. How are you doing today on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope that Heaven is a beautiful place and it is true to what we have seen in pictures, movies, and what we have been told. I hope that you are doing all that you want to do and need to do. I am sure you are learning so many new things up there. I will look forward to 1 day reuniting with you so that you can be the 1 to show me around and tell me all about what you have been learning. I believe in reincarnation and I often wonder if we will be together in another life somehow. I remember you saying over a year ago when I had my reading done... that you knew me in many different forms. I wonder all the time what exactly those forms and people were. Curiosity kills the cat as they say and it sure does me when it comes to what you are doing, how do you spend your day, etc.. so many questions for you. I have been wanting another reading done with Forrest but I have been holding out because I would love to have it done around the same time as the first one... to see what has been taking place a year later. I would hope that you would come through and tell me more things. I just want to know you are happy and hear all that you want me to know. I miss you so much.
My mind has been heavy these last few days. Thinking about a year ago, what took place, saying goodbye to you, and your services. The middle of the month is going to be tough for me. I won't be able to be at your resting place in NH for your 1 year anniversary but you can rest assure that I will be in Texas sending you balloons and telling you how much I love and miss you. I know there are several family & friends that will be doing the same so hold on tight to be floating on so many balloons again. I will be doing this for your Birthday too. I will do this every year that I can. It means a lot to me to honor you in such a way plus to let you know just how loved and missed you truly are.
The weather here is starting to really get hot hot hot & humid... yuck. In for this for the next 3 months. AC is going to be our best friends and we won't be doing much of anything for awhile. Can't ... the sun is just too intense. Mom is doing ok. Snickers is better today. Thank you for your help. He ate some food today and drank a little. Not eating the grass and hasn't been sick yet so we are on our way to a healthy pup again. My arm where he bit me is healing slowly but in the right direction. Still swelling and the bruises are nasty looking. The wound itself is closing and clean which is great! Thank you for taking care of me along with all the other Angels in the Heaven above.
The stars have been shining brightly the last few nights. Always a huge smile on my face when I see this. I whisper to you nightly. I hope you can hear me. I look forward to my late night chat with you. Makes me feel very close to you in so many ways. I will look to the sky tonight and whisper to you. Be listening out for Mom.
I hope your evening is restful, peaceful, and all that you want it to be. You are forever in my mind, heart, soul, and thoughts. To the moon & back and all the way around the world. You and me for the world... ;) Your words now.. not mine!
Sweet dreams! Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, June 2, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing my precious Angel in Heaven? I hope you are laughing, smiling, and telling jokes like I can remember you doing. I can remember your "phase" of the knock knock jokes... Aunt Becky bought you a book and you memorized the dang thing and told them to us over and over again. I can see you smiling and laughing in my mind. So refreshing to still be able to see you facial expressions and hear your voice and laughter. It is important to me because that is all I have now. I miss it all. I miss you so much!
Mom is doing ok. Could be better. As you already know and have seen.. on Saturday evening Snickers bit me again. This time pretty badly on my arm. He got the veins and the muscle. Happened so fast and it was done even before I knew what happened. Don't know why though... Mark & Mom were sitting on the couch watching tv. He was sleeping near me and then BAM that happened. I am in pain but holding it together. My arm looks nasty...swollen, purple, blue with bruises and looks like a vampire bit me in the arm. I am hoping to having it look better before we leave for NH next week. I am not sure what to do anymore when it comes to him. I love him to pieces but he can't keep doing this to me, Mark, Max, or anyone else. We don't know why it happens to begin with. We have spoken to the vets about it and they have no answers either. They just say for us to be careful and that it is a " small dog breed " thing. Mom needs to really do some serious thinking about this issue and act accordingly. Watch over Mom and help heal me please? Thanks Tyler.
Everything else is the same. Nothing else new. Mark is working a lot this week due to being gone for a couple days next week. Spoke to everyone and they are ready to see us. Couple friends have asked me to take them to your resting place so they can visit with you. I think that is so super sweet. Lots of family & friends are watching over you there in NH for me.... still can't get away from that Ty...lol :) You are so loved still and always will be loved. Aunt Shirley is getting you a " marker " for your resting place for Mom until your stone comes in. It will have your name, date of birth, date of death and the quote" We love you to the moon & back " on it. I think that is perfect. I always said that to you. You know that! I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to get your stone with Jack & Zero on it plus your bench! Hopefully soon pumpkin! Bare with me!
The sun is setting and I hope to see the stars this evening when I walk the pups. I will look to see you shining brightly. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. I wish you a peaceful and restful evening in the Heavens. Sweet dreams to you. Fly high and fly free. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing my precious Angel in Heaven? I hope you are laughing, smiling, and telling jokes like I can remember you doing. I can remember your "phase" of the knock knock jokes... Aunt Becky bought you a book and you memorized the dang thing and told them to us over and over again. I can see you smiling and laughing in my mind. So refreshing to still be able to see you facial expressions and hear your voice and laughter. It is important to me because that is all I have now. I miss it all. I miss you so much!
Mom is doing ok. Could be better. As you already know and have seen.. on Saturday evening Snickers bit me again. This time pretty badly on my arm. He got the veins and the muscle. Happened so fast and it was done even before I knew what happened. Don't know why though... Mark & Mom were sitting on the couch watching tv. He was sleeping near me and then BAM that happened. I am in pain but holding it together. My arm looks nasty...swollen, purple, blue with bruises and looks like a vampire bit me in the arm. I am hoping to having it look better before we leave for NH next week. I am not sure what to do anymore when it comes to him. I love him to pieces but he can't keep doing this to me, Mark, Max, or anyone else. We don't know why it happens to begin with. We have spoken to the vets about it and they have no answers either. They just say for us to be careful and that it is a " small dog breed " thing. Mom needs to really do some serious thinking about this issue and act accordingly. Watch over Mom and help heal me please? Thanks Tyler.
Everything else is the same. Nothing else new. Mark is working a lot this week due to being gone for a couple days next week. Spoke to everyone and they are ready to see us. Couple friends have asked me to take them to your resting place so they can visit with you. I think that is so super sweet. Lots of family & friends are watching over you there in NH for me.... still can't get away from that Ty...lol :) You are so loved still and always will be loved. Aunt Shirley is getting you a " marker " for your resting place for Mom until your stone comes in. It will have your name, date of birth, date of death and the quote" We love you to the moon & back " on it. I think that is perfect. I always said that to you. You know that! I can't wait to see it. I can't wait to get your stone with Jack & Zero on it plus your bench! Hopefully soon pumpkin! Bare with me!
The sun is setting and I hope to see the stars this evening when I walk the pups. I will look to see you shining brightly. Be listening for Mom to whisper to you as I always do. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. I wish you a peaceful and restful evening in the Heavens. Sweet dreams to you. Fly high and fly free. Forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
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