Dear Tyler,

Hello my sweet son! How are you doing today in the Heavens above? I hope that all is the best it can be for you. May you be doing all that you are suppose to do and want to do plus so much more. Mom is doing ok this evening. Sure is hot outside today. Very humid... think it was 92 today. We did some grocery shopping and other errands this afternoon and boy it was tough in the heat. We did get some thunderstorms but it really just made it worse. Now I am back home, everything put away and relaxing while writing to you.
 Yesterday was kind of another rough day for Mom. It was 1 year ago that we laid you to your final resting place. Another day that is etched in my mind that I will never forget. Makes me extremely sad to just think about it. I have to live it each and every day without you which is tough enough. Yesterday was also the Greater Claremont Relay For Life. It was the first one that I have missed in 13 years. Oh how I remember how much you used to love to go with me to the Relay. I was so proud that you would go around with me for the very 1st lap for all the Survivors/ Care Givers. It was such an honor for Mom. Something that I am still so passionate about that we got to share together. I am hoping to find the nearest Relay For Life here in Texas and become a part of it. I really want to again seeings how I will not be able to do the Claremont, NH one  : (
 I sit back and stare out the window here in my loft and think about and realize just how much things change in a years time. Some are happy times, some are sad, and some are just too painful for me. My mind replays it all over & over again... probably too much at times but I don't care. Your smile, your voice, your face is what I miss the most. I still can see you, hear your voice, and see your smile in my mind... these things will never fade away from Mom. Just want you to know this pumpkin. You need to know just how much you are missed and loved from Mom and so many other family & friends. I miss you so much dammit!
 I am looking up to the sky and I see clouds with very little blue skies. The sun is usually setting at this time if it was out. The wind is blowing and I think perhaps another storm is about to roll in. Snickers is not going to like that. Hope it is a quick one that is just passing by. I will still look to the sky tonight while I walk the pups. Regardless if I can see the moon and stars shining brightly I know that you are. I will whisper to you as I always do each night. I sure do hope you can hear Mom talking to you. 
 I hope that you have a restful and peaceful evening. May it be all you need and want it to be. I love you beyond words Tyler. To the moon & back. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!