Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing alright. Honestly, It has been an off day for me today as I completely went off my usual routine & helped Mark out this morning with a few things. I did that until 1 pm & then got ready & took my shower. Just as I finished up with that the phone rang & it was Meme calling me to tell me about Bob's appointment. The doctors are going to do another shocking of his heart on September 7th. This will be the 5th time as his heart is still in A Fib. His pacemaker is not not working the way it should be either. The doctors are hoping that because of the new meds he is on & the re shocking again that this time it may just work. Mom is keeping her fingers, toes & everything else that can be crossed for him. After that call, Mom was doing some things around the house when I got another phone call that just broke my heart into pieces. At 1st I didn't know who it was as the person on the other end was crying & I didn't recognize the number but then I quickly realized who it was. Remember when Mom was telling you about her friend's son... the one who had a knee replacement done & then a couple months later had to have that same knee amputated? Well, yesterday he went for a 3 week check up to wrap up everything including all the chemo he was getting & they were told some devastating news..... the cancer has spread to his lungs. He has 2 big masses on both lungs that were not there 3 weeks ago. When my friend told me that I sucked my breath in & didn't know what to say at first. I was in tears but stayed strong for her. I have known her son since he was 2 years old & now he is in high school. They are going to have a second opinion done at a hospital near here so I have let her know that whatever she needs I will be there for her & the entire family. Our door is open to them all. I wish I could do more for them but I know I can't. If there is anything that you can do for him ( Eli ) & the family then please work your magic, Tyler. Thank you so much. Honestly that phone conversation took everything out of me. After that I took the pups for a walk just to clear my head & the went & grabbed the mail & boxes at the office. Mom was able enough to pull things together to write you this letter. I feel for my friend & her son. It is not easy to be a parent & watch their child go through so much & not be able to take their place or do anything about it. It tears the parent up. I know because that is what it was like with Mom watching everything you had to go through all those years. It broke my heart every time but I had to not show you. I had to stay strong for you so you could be strong. It was only when I turned my back or left the room did I let the tears far from my eyes. I know you don't know this but every time I had to leave DHMC, Exeter or Crotched Mtn when you were there.... the tears always flowed freely. I cried almost the whole way home because I wanted to take you with me & I couldn't. I wanted you to be home with me so I knew you were getting the care you needed & deserved. Mom cried so many tears that you were just unaware of. I missed you so much when you were away & I miss you even more now that you are permanently gone. I loved you with everything I had & I still do. You are still my precious son & my precious Angel now. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. Please always know that you are my hero for life. You are Mom's wind beneath my wings. Forever will you live inside my heart, mind, body & soul.
 Not much for updates again..... Mom spoke to Grandpa last night. All is well there & they are finalizing the rest of the wedding plans. In 6 weeks they will be married. They are getting excited & Mom is excited for them. Mark was on the phone all morning today with 3 phone calls. The 1st one seems promising so my fingers & toes are crossed for him. Anything you can do..... can you lend him some of your magic? Thanks Tyler! Mom is hoping that something comes up for him. He needs it & you have seen why! Thank you. That is about all that I have for you today but here is the prayers for the day:
  May God do such a deep healing work in your soul that you're able to look at your disappointments and heartbreaks with a grounded sense of hope and perspective. May your emotions rest on God's unchanging love for you. Your Rock is Christ and He is immovable. Stand on Him. Stand strong because of Him. And know this, one day He'll make your righteousness shine like the dawn and will reveal to the world that you belong to Him! Find your sturdy place in Him tonight.
 May God, this very moment, lift your heavy load and breathe fresh life into your weary sails. May He give you relief from your pain, rest from your fears, and refreshment in your perspective. Sometimes we just need to pause, open our hands, and give back to God the things we’re holding so tight. May Jesus help you! May the Holy Spirit infuse you with power and inspire you to trust Him more fully. May your mind, body, soul and spirit experience an awakening as you trust Him with your cares and take Him at His Word.
 Here are a couple quotes for you today: " How cool is it that the same God who created mountains & oceans & galaxies looked at you & thought the world needed one of you too. "
" If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit. "
" Fill your life with adventures, not things. Have stories to tell, not stuff to show. "
  Mom is hoping to see the moon & stars tonight shining bright as the next couple of days are going to rain here. I didn't see them last night or a painting from you so maybe tonight I will see that as well. The night sunset is getting shorter every day now. It used to get dark about 9 pm & now it is setting & getting dark around 7:30 pm. School will be starting for the kids again in 2 weeks & Fall will be here before you know it. It is crazy to think that it will be another new year in 4 1/2 months.....ugh!  Hope your evening will be filled with everything you want to do & need to do. Have fun if you can while Mom is sleeping tonight. Come be with me or visit me in my dreams if you can. Thanks pumpkin! Also, if you can... please give Nana a big hug & kiss from me as today was the day she gained her Angel wings & was reunited with Pepe. That was 23 years ago. I miss & love her every single day. Thank you! 
 Mom needs to go so that I can get dinner started. It is the 2nd night that Mark is home so I am fixing a nice dinner. Later we will be relaxing on the balcony having a glass of wine to relax & the bed as he has a busy day tomorrow & so does Mom. I will be back tomorrow so until then listening for Mom to whisper to you later tonight. Smile & I will too. Good night & sweet dreams. You are my shining star. I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!