Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? It is already 4:30 pm & Mom is just getting done studying for the day. I am making progress! I finished reading my last chapter that was needed to start my 3rd exam in this class. I should get this exam done by tomorrow & submit it as well. Then I have 2 more exams & the class will be finished! Mom is trying to stay focused on this.... I am doing my best! 
 Mom has been up since 7 am. I didn't really get a lot of sleep last night. I started out by falling asleep around 10:30 pm & woke up at 1 am & then I was awake a lot after. I am hoping that tonight I will get a good nights sleep because today just hasn't been my day at all. Guess you could say it has been a typical Monday! Mark left early this morning to head to the office & he is still there. He will have a very long drive home that is for sure. He will be sitting in rush hour traffic for about 2.5 hours or more when he does leave so that won't put him home until sometime after 7 pm tonight. Tough & long day for him but Mom can't say enough to make that man listen. He does not know the word no when it comes to that job. Mom is learning to just stay out of it altogether. 
 The weather today turned out to be nice. The morning was overcast & cloudy but around 10 am the clouds went away & it has been a beautiful day with the sun shining. Blue skies as well! Mom will take the pups for a nice walk after dinner tonight. Guess I will be eating alone tonight. I want to at least enjoy some of the nice day since I have been studying all day long. Tomorrow it is suppose to be cloudy, crappy & thunderstorms all day long. No sun in sight again until Thursday. That is not a very Happy Birthday to me tomorrow. It makes Mom sad because all I wanted was a day of sunshine. Oh well not much I can do about it so I won't stress over it at all. Today is the last day for Mom to be 46 years old. I was born at 1:02 pm on May 15th. I am getting old, Ty...lol! We are not doing anything at all for Birthday. Mark is working all day long & Mom is studying. Going to treat it like another Tuesday! Maybe we will have a nice dinner that I make but that is about it. Mark spoiled me this weekend & we are going to NH this coming weekend so I already got all kinds of presents. Mom is hoping to get a sign from you tomorrow to let me know you are around me. I still have the last Happy Birthday message that you sent me back in 2013. It is saved & I will cherish it always. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will forever be my hero & the wind beneath my wings. always, you will live within my heart, mind, body & soul. I was just telling my friend who lost her son almost 3 months ago that yesterday, holidays & every other day is so tough & painful. I told her that I wish I could say that in time the pain changes but never goes away but that is not the case at all or at least not for Mom. I hurt & miss you just as much as I did almost 5 years ago. I don't think it will ever get better for Mom. I try & try but nothing changes. I don't always show it to everyone but I know you see it, you feel it & I know it hurts you too. I am so sorry my sweet precious son. Please continue to be patience with me. I can explain at all in words how I feel since the minute you left this world. I wish I could but I have tried so many times & nothing comes out correctly. Mom has felt pain many of times before in my life but this is the absolute worst pain I have ever felt & had to deal with. It sucks. Mom will continue to keep trying. Help me out in any way that you can though. Thank you my sweet precious son. 
 Mark just called & looks like he just left his office & will not be home until after 7 pm due to rush hour traffic. I told him to just be careful & I would see him soon. Guess tonight will be nothing more than a couple hours of time with Mark before he falls asleep from pure exhaustion. Chances are he will come home, have dinner & crash. Looks like it is a TV night for Mom. The pups will be curled up with me so that will be okay. Mom just checked the weather & looks like it is going to be 84 degrees tomorrow & the rain doesn't start until after 2 pm so I will get some sunshine after all!!!! Hope we will get more than that though but I will take it. Send me that sign pumpkin. Mom will light the candle for you as well tonight in your memory & I will whisper to you like I do each evening. Smile when you hear me & I will smile to you. Hope your evening tonight will be everything that you need & want it to be. Have fun while I sleep & come be with me or visit me in my dreams if you can. Mom needs to get going for now but I will be back tomorrow evening with another letter to you. It is time to feed the pups & get dinner for myself. I love you my bright shining star. Until tomorrow.... good night & sweet dreams.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Here is the prayer:
 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Romans 5:1-2, NIV

Lord our God, almighty and holy One, whose glory shines upon the earth so that we may find joy in you and may live rejoicing in all your loving-kindness, spread out your hands in blessing over all people. Spread your blessing over the happy and the sad, over the courageous and the weak. Shepherd them in your love, in the great grace you have given through Jesus Christ, confirmed in us through the Holy Spirit. Do not let us remain degraded and worthless. Lift our hearts above what is transitory, for you have given us something eternal to live by. Help us every day so that we can reach the goal you have set for us, for many others, and finally for all peoples of the earth. Amen.