Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet precious son. How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom would be lying to you if I said that I was doing good. Mom is just having a hard time right now. These next 9 days are the toughest for me and I am going to need all the strength I can get to get through them. Today is exactly 5 years that Mom heard your voice, your laugh and saw you smile for the last time while we we skyping. I can remember exactly what I was doing, where I was and what our conversation was about. If I had only known that would be our last talk ever I would have kept you on that call forever. I would have never stopped our talk but you had to go because it was late and Mom understood. The last thing I ever heard you say to me was "I love you Mom". The last thing I said to you as well was that I loved you too and miss you so much. I miss you so much, Tyler. Tomorrow the whole nightmare that Mom relives over and over again each year comes back to me. I try to stay busy but nothing works. My heart hurts every day and even more so during this time. Please be with Mom if you can. I know you will be seeing a lot of tears being shed but know that it is needed for Mom to do so I don't bottle up emotions. That would just make things worse in the long run. Thank you, pumpkin. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live inside my heart, mind, body and soul.  Never forget that and never stop feeling Mom's love for you deep in your soul. 
 Everyone called us last night to let us know they made it home safely. Aunt Beck and Mom even chatted for a few minutes as well. There is a lot going on in our family right now and Mom is afraid that none of it is really all that good of news. Mom posted something on social media asking for prayers for our family. Mom can only pray as well and just sit back and wait. I did not mention any names for the sake of their privacy and I will not say who they are either. That is not for Mom to do but I am just hoping that the power of prayer will help them all. You know who they all are and what is going on with each of them. Please be with all 6 of them and watch over them all for Mom. I am worried and concerned. Mom right now feels very lost and doesn't really know what to do. I am keeping as busy as I can but it is all in the back of my mind. I slept like poo last night because I was so worried. You know how I am. I can't help it. Please watch over Mark and Mom as well. I sure need it, Tyler! Thank you for all that you do. 
 Mom doesn't have any other updates for you today. There is just a lot of sadness right now. I am hoping for at least some good news soon as that would be really nice. Mom will keep you updated on all these statuses as I get them. 
 It is already 5 pm and Mom never even studied at all today. I was up during the night a lot and then up at 6:30 am. I did get breakfast for Mark and I, did the dishes, and I also did some serious cleaning out of a couple closets and also under the cabinets of things that we don't use or need any longer. It felt good to get rid of it all. Mom and Mark hauled 6 bags of trash to the dumpster and also 3 bags of pillows and blankets. That closet looks awesome now and we are happy with it! Mom has a couple more to do in the next week or so but then everything will have had an overhaul. Now it is time to get dinner for the pups and get dinner going for us as well. Mom will be studying tomorrow for sure while Mark is gone. I will be back to write to you too. Later tonight I will light a candle for you and whisper to you so be on the lookout for the candle burning bright for you and smile when you hear Mom. I will smile back to you as well. I love you so much. Good night and sweet dreams. Come visit mom if you can tonight and have fun while I get some sleep.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Here is the pray for the day:

So do not be ashamed of the testimony about our Lord or of me his prisoner. Rather, join with me in suffering for the gospel, by the power of God. He has saved us and called us to a holy life – not because of anything we have done but because of his own purpose and grace. This grace was given us in Christ Jesus before the beginning of time. 2 Timothy 1:8–9, NIV

Lord our God, radiant, light giving, and almighty God through all the ages, be with us in our time too. Strengthen the grace we have received from Jesus Christ, and let it be known over all the world so that your name may be honored everywhere. Bless us, we pray, and let your blessing spread from us to others, to the glory of your name. Grant that the good may be strengthened in us, the good you have let us hear about for so many years. May everything that belongs to your Word come alive in us and in the world. May your blessing be on our actions, for we want to remain under your blessing, to the glory of your righteousness and truth. Amen.