Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet precious son. How are you doing on this sunny Tuesday afternoon? Mom is having a rough day just like I knew I would. Last night I did not get much sleep at all. It always happens when these couple of days come around every year for the past 5 years. Mom tries every year to be better as the years pass but I guess I am not doing a very good job of it. The pain is intense still and I think it always will be this way. The thoughts, the nightmares, the memories of these next two days are sometimes more than Mom can handle. They cut like a knife. The pain is so real like it just happened. Mom played your two favorite songs just a few minutes ago: Lullaby and Don't stop Dancing by Creed. Yup, the tears flowed and I just let them. I know there will be more today and a lot more tomorrow. Just bare with me and be with me please. Send me some signs if you can. Mom needs them more than ever. Thank you. 
 Today, Mom was up early and I got things ready for Mark as he needed to go to his office for the day. I made coffee, got breakfast and snacks for him to take. I didn't end up going back to bed....instead I got up and moved somethings around in Mark's office for him and then I made breakfast for myself, cleaned the dishes, got ready and came in my office and started studying. Mom submitted her first exam in her new class today and I think I got an A on it but my instructor still needs to post the grade. I am starting on the second exam and will finish it up tomorrow. Mom is taking her time and not rushing like I did the last course. That was a lot of work in a very short week. That was crazy but I did it. Mark has a very busy week at work so I will have lots of time to just study away with no pressure. Meme called last night. We all got some pretty good storms through the night and when she got home her and Bob didn't have any power. Guess it was out for a few hours. We got some good thunder and lightning and the rain was so heavy. It stopped around midnight I guess.  Not much else went on during the evening. It was quiet. Mark and Mom had dinner and just watched some TV. I think we were still tired from the weekend. We went to bed at 9:30 pm. Tonight looks to be about the same. Mom has no updates on any of our family members right now but I will keep the updates coming as I know. This morning Mark called Mom to tell me some good/bad news. Good news is that no one got hurt but the bad news is that his vehicle was hit over the weekend. Mom had to call the insurance company to place a Claim. The next step is to have an estimate done on the cost to fix it and then get it fixed. What an unexpected cost for sure. We are hoping it will not be too much but Mom has her doubts. Our deductible is pretty high so that doesn't help either. Mark was pretty upset about the whole thing and rightfully so. We haven't even had it for 3 months yet and this happens. People around here just don't care about anything or anyone. They are rude and dishonest. Not all but most. Makes Mom sad that people are like that. Not much else is new. Mom is doing really good using her tracker. I am making goal almost every day now. I walk between 3.5 -4 miles daily or more at times and I can see a difference in my clothes. It is time to go through my closet again and donate all that are too big. Makes Mom smile about that. Mom is going to keep up with it too because I am really liking the results! Mark is proud of me and I am proud of myself too!
 Mom will be lighting the candle for you tonight. I didn't last night because well for one I forgot and two we went to bed early. That candle will burn bright for you tonight and I will be burning a candle all day tomorrow for you as well. I can't send balloons up to you anymore because it is illegal to do it and I don't want to get into trouble but I will think of something to do that is special. Know that candle is burning for you and in your memory. Mom will whisper to you later this evening so listen for my voice and smile. Mom will smile to you too. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you in the morning so I can study all day long. I will need something to distract me. I miss you so much. More than words can say. I love you with all my heart and soul. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. To infinity and beyond. You will forever be my hero, the wind beneath my wings and my bright shining star. Always you will be in my heart, mind, body and soul. I hope you have a peaceful evening tonight. Come visit with Mom in my dreams if you can. Thank you. Mom needs to get going to start dinner and feed the pups seeings how it is already 5:15 pm. I love you my sweet precious son and I miss you more than anyone will ever know.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Here is the daily prayer:

 “Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed,” says the Lord, who has compassion on you. Isaiah 54:10, NIV

Lord, O great and almighty God, we thank you that you have given us the Savior, in whom we can become united and have peace on earth. May he, the Savior, work powerfully among us. May your Spirit come into people’s hearts so that they learn to acknowledge you as their leader and their God and to rejoice in their lives, which are intended for eternal life. Bless us through your Word and through all the good you do for us. Constantly renew and strengthen us in faith and in patience through the grace you send us. Remember all the peoples who should become yours in the name of Jesus Christ. May they all confess that Jesus Christ is the Lord, to the honor of God the Father. We praise you for the promise you have given us of a wonderful new day of help for all. We praise you that you have created all people to recognize their true calling and their way to salvation. Amen.