Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is feeling a little bit better than the last 2 days. I am writing to you now because we have to take the pups to the vets to just get checked out really quick as we leave for vacation in 8 days. Mom is starting to get excited even more about spending time with our family. I just can't wait to see Meme & Bob's faces when we are there. I know you will be right beside us enjoying it all & smiling along the way! Mom will be taking her laptop down so that I can be writing to you at least every morning before we head out to do things or every other night. Either way I will still be writing to you so I can still be close to you. 
 Mom is actually feeling better as I already said above I am just so tired still because of the same thing that has been going on for 4 weeks now with Princess. We are hoping that the vets can help us out with this as well. I am going to also try & do some studying after I write to you. It will be the 1st time in 4 weeks that I picked up the books. I am happy about that as I have missed it quite a bit! I will let you know how it turns out in tomorrows letter! 
 Mom spoke to Meme & Grandpa last night for a quick few minutes. I didn't stay on long as I was still not feeling so hot. Everything with them are good & as I said they are also getting anxious & excited for next week. After 8 months of planning & waiting it is finally here. Everyone seems to be working a lot of hours at their jobs including Mark. He is working some weird hours & again this weekend he is doing another cut over on Sunday night. This will make 8 or 9 in the last 6 weeks. It is just crazy because all the kids are going back to school & college. I saw lots of my friends pictures of their kids heading off to school & boy that kind of depressed me. I remember doing that with you. Just more things to make me realize that you are no longer here. So many things remind me of you....they can be something small, something big, a smell, a song, a movie, a place....really anything. I try my best to smile through it under a broken heart so no one will see. I think for the most part I do well but I know you know different. I just miss you so much, Tyler. My heart breaks every day because I can't see you physically. We were so connected & I know we still are in so many ways. It just physically hurts Mom. I continue to try really hard every day to get better at this.... to be more happy for you, less guilt & to do the things I would like to do because I know you want that for me so much. I know you are concerned about me but please don't be. All these things I am experiencing are still forms of grieving. I will continue to grieve the loss of you for the rest of my life. I just can't help that. Someday I will get better at it... I promise!
 Mom was chatting with Aunt Jacqui & she was telling me that Uncle Dick is home & doing ok. Plugging along as she put it. Andrea was telling me that he is still not following directions with what the doctors told him to do. Aunt Jacqui is in a rehab facility still. Meme went to the doctors last week for routine blood work & she needs to be making a couple of adjustments as well. I took this seriously too as these things are heredity & I don't want them so I will also be making some adjustments. My friend's brother is still fighting. He had the trach done last week & also had a G Tube put in. They had him sitting up for a bit the other day so that it could help with the fluid around his heart & lungs...also with his pneumonia. He has a long haul ahead of him but hopefully with all the love & support he is getting it will help him get through it & when he is fully healed he will be stronger than he ever was before. near death experiences will do that to a person. Mom knows.... had it happen 2 times to me. Changed my whole outlook on everything. I still continue to pray for him & everyone else every day. Speaking of prayers, Mom has your daily pray for today.
 September 7~ From the rising of the sun to its setting the name of the Lord is to be praised. Today, I will praise you, Lord God. I will leave off my concerns & focus on the many reasons I have to give you thanks & praise. Please fill me with a spirit of worship today. May it even overflow to inspire those around me to see & acknowledge how good & wonderful you are. We were made to turn our hearts to gratitude & joy, not to complaint & despair. And since God is the author of all good & perfect gifts, it is logical that he should be the object of our praise & the recipient of our thanks. Amen.
 Mom hopes that tonight you will have a peaceful evening doing all the things you need to do & want to do. May you have some fun adventures along the way while Mom is trying to sleep. Hope you visit me in my dreams tonight. I love it when I see you my sweet precious son. I will be looking to the sky later on as well to see if I see the stars & moon shining bright. The sky is clear today....the rain has stopped & the sun is out. It is pretty hot & muggy but I will take it! I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear Mom & I will smile to you as well. Remember.... you are always in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night & sweet dreams, Tyler. Until tomorrow......I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!