Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday morning? Well today is Valentine's Day. I know it is suppose to be a " lovers holiday " for the most part but every year I would ask you to be my Valentine & you would say Yes! I sure have missed asking you that the last 4 years but every year I have always asked you just the same. I hope you hear Mom & you are smiling. I smile when I say it to you! 
 Mom is sorry that I didn't write to you last night but as you could see for a couple hours it was rough for me. I am getting better each day but still every once in awhile I have pain & when I do it is so intense. During those times I am whispering to you & asking for your help along with the Angels & God. I know you hear Mom. I thank you for all that you do to help me. I am hoping within the next few days everything will be better & I will be back to myself again & pain free. Will you help Mom with that? Thank you. I really don't have any updates for you at all. I spoke to Meme a couple days ago & Grandpa did try to call a couple times last night but I wasn't in any mood to talk so I didn't answer the phone. I felt guilty for that but I did see him on line & told him I was not feeling well & I would try to call him later today. I hope he wasn't too upset or hurt. I really felt bad. I haven't really spoken to anyone the last several days but I am assuming that everyone is well. Again, I hope to be back to myself in the next few days so I will touch base with them all & I will let you know just what is going on. Mark has been such a trooper through this all. He had it before me & I watched him be in pain. It was awful. It lasted for about 2- 2 1/2 weeks. Oh yeah, Aunt Beck has about 10 more days in South America & then she will be home. Mom hasn't heard from her since she arrived but I think she is still in the jungle & has no Internet. I know she is doing just fine as you are watching over her for us! Thanks pumpkin! That's all I got for today!
 Mom has the 2 daily prayers that I need to catch up on for you so here they are: February 13~ For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him. Could we with ink the ocean fill & were the skies of parchment made, were every stalk on the earth a quill & every man a scribe by trade, to write your love, O God above, would drain the ocean dry. Nor could the scroll contain the whole, through stretched from sky to sky. For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, not things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen.
 February 14~ I love the Lord, because he has heard my voice & my supplications. Because he inclined his ear to me, therefore I will call on him as long as I live. My heart is filled with love for you dear, Lord. I can't begin to express the depth of my feelings. You have created me & re-created me. You have forgiven me & saved me. You give me joy each day & hope for the days ahead. When I call upon you in a time of need, you hear my prayer. You come close to me & whisper the assurance of your love. Thank you, Lord, for listening to me. I love you. God is love & those who abide in love abide in God & God abides in them. Amen.
 Mom is all caught up yet again. I am not having a lot of luck finding quotes for you but I look daily. I think today of all days it is appropriate for Mom to write these lyrics to you. These are the words that mean the most to me & you know why..... It must have be cold there in my shadow, to never have sunlight on your face. You were content to let me shine, that's your way.....You always walked a step behind. So I was the one with all the glory, while you were the one with all the strength. A beautiful face without a name for so long. A beautiful smile to hide the pain......Did you ever know that you're my Hero & everything I would like to be? I could fly higher than an eagle, 'cause you are the wind beneath my wings.
 Mom doesn't listen to that song all that often anymore but when I hear it, it brings me back to that day... June 20, 2013....the day I lost you. That day will forever be etched in my brain. All of it...every detail. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. You are my everything & always will be. Never not feel this in your soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You will forever live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. 
 Mom hopes that later tonight when the sun sets that I will get the chance to see the moon & stars shining bright. The sun is shining today & the sky is blue. Either way I will whisper to you & smile as big as I can to you. Smile back for Mom.... I will see it when I close my eyes. I hope that your night will be all that you need & want it to be my sweet precious son. Come be with me tonight & visit me in my dreams if you can. I would love that. Mom has to go & start the day now..... it is almost 11:30 am & I have so much to do. I will write again tomorrow night so until then.......Good night & sweet dreams. Happy Valentine's day, Tyler. I love you unconditional.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!