Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? The weather today is windy & cold but the sun is shining & Mom will take it! Mom just got done her lesson for the week. I studied all day long. I am almost finished with the class. Next Wednesday & Friday will be my last lessons & then I will have to take my final exam. Those 6 weeks went by pretty fast.  thought at 1st they would drag but they did not. I am excited to be finished with this & restart my college classes again. Mom is hoping to move right along with those so that I can graduate in July or August with my degree. Hopefully by Fall I will be able to go look for a job! Thank you for being by me every step of the way with all the studying, classes, certifications that I have taken. It is because of you that Mom is doing as well as I am. You are always right in my mind while I am doing these classes my sweet precious son. Today my lesson really touched on so many things that you went through in the physical world. When I was reading it all my heart sank & I got sad. You went through so much, so much pain & suffering & now even though I can't see you I know that you are freed from everything that you struggled with & that in itself makes Mom happy. I know you are happy so I smile at that very thought! 
 Mom is doing better & better each day. Yesterday was a very good day...the best in the last couple of weeks. Today I am doing pretty good...a little pain but I can handle it. I sure could still use Aunt Beck's healing though....so if by any chance you are seeing this Beck... please help your sister out. I could really use it. Thank you! Mom could also use the help of you, Tyler. I always do & always will need you by my side. Thank you! 
 Mom finally called & spoke to Grandpa last night. It wasn't a long conversation but at least I got to see how everyone was doing. He was telling me that he has been very busy with snow blowing, shoveling & making sure all of the snow has been cleaned up. I think he said 1 day he went out at 8 am & didn't go inside until 4 pm. That is way too much for him to be doing. I wish that he would slow down & take it easy. Mom is such a worry wart with all our family & friends. Debbie is doing fine, just working a lot & Great Grammy is good too. I spoke to Meme yesterday afternoon & she was telling me that Bean wants her & I to go with her the next time she gets a tattoo. Meme is game for it.... guess she wants an owl & Mom is good with it too. I decided that I will be getting your name ( in your hand writing ) & a 4 leaf clover next to it. It will be my memorial tattoo for you. I am not sure where I will get it or when but it will be in the next few months! 1 more week & Aunt Beck is home. I can't wait to chat with her, hear all about her trip & just hear her voice. I really miss her. That is all that I got for you today on updates. More to follow over the weekend! 
 Here is your daily prayer for the day: February 17~ With a freewill offering, I will sacrifice to you; I will give thanks to your name, O Lord, for it is good. Dear Lord, I want to give you something, a token of my thanks & love. In days of old, they brought sacrifices to the Temple, gifts of grain or livestock. I suppose I can give you money, donating to my church or a charity, but that quickly becomes a mathematical transaction, just another bill to pay. I want to give you something meaningful, something sacrificial. My time? Maybe. My creative effort? Would I dare to take a chance on some artistic offering, not being confident about the outcome? Or could I show an extravagant kindness to one of " the least of these, " the poor & needy? What kind of gift do you want from me, Lord? Please show me. Every gift we give God is our heart, just wrapped up in something different each time. Our money, our service, even our praises---- these are just containers for the loving gratitude of our hearts. Amen.
 Here is a quote for you that Mom really likes....." Come with me & you'll be in a world of pure imagination. " Do you remember what movie that is from? Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. I really like that song.... it is one of my favorites! We watched it a few times together. I miss watching movies or TV with you, I miss just talking to you & hearing your voice. I miss your sweet face. I miss it all, Tyler. No words can express the hurt I feel daily from not having you here with me. I miss being a Mom to you. I miss missing out on all the other things that my Mom friends can still do. I try so hard & I will keep trying daily but I know you feel my pain. I am so sorry for that but I can't lie or be dishonest with you or anyone...especially myself. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are forever living in my heart, mind, body & soul. You will always be my hero & the wind beneath my wings. 
 Mom saw stars shining bright last night & I smiled & whispered to you. I hope you heard my voice. I will do it again tonight as well. Hope I see more in the sky. Mom is hoping that your evening will be all that you need & want it to be. Come visit me in my dreams. Have fun while I sleep tonight. I have to get going now as it is that time of night where I need to go feed the pups & get dinner going for Mark & I. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you.... until then.....good night & sweet dreams. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. Mom saw today when I logged into here that there are over 32,000 visits from people in the United States, France, Germany, Portugal, India, United Kingdom, Netherlands & Kenya. I have wonderful people who follow me & read my letters to you. That makes my heart sing. Thank you to each & every one of you who continue to support me, my letters to my son & my continued journey of grieving & getting by daily without him. Big hugs!