Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! Happy 1st day of Fall. It is the time of year & our favorite season! I sure do miss spending this time with you. It is the time for days that are cooler but the sun is shining warmly on our faces, nights are crisp, sweater weather, apple picking time, for us girls we can wear our cute boots now, hot cider/ hot chocolate time, leaves are turning & falling, times to cuddle in front of a fireplace & watch a movie, go for long longs during the day. There are just so many things to do in the Fall. You & I looked forward to this season every year. We had the opportunity to do so many things as the weather was not hot nor super cold for you. It was just right. We would be outside more. I miss the long walks that we would take especially on a Sunday afternoon. We would just walk & talk. Gosh, Tyler.... I miss our conversations that would would have. You & Mom could talk about everything & anything. We would laugh a lot as well but when needed we would be serious & have those hard talks too. I remember all the times we would go to the tree house at Crotched Mtn. We would spend the afternoon there. It was awesome. Mom has pictures of us there & also pictures of us there with Meme when we took her. Mom cherishes those pictures now. Looking at them & all pictures transports me right back to that day when we were together. They make me smile, laugh, but also some make me sad & cry. I guess that is still the grieving process that will always continue for the rest of my life without you. I just want you to know I think of you all the time. Every hour or more every day. You are there in my heart, mind & soul. You always will be. You were Mom's everything. You were my life & even to this day you still are. I mention your name constantly & Mark is very good about that. He doesn't say anything negative towards me. Most of the time he will smile & say " I am sure " or " I wouldn't doubt it. " You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings my sweet precious son. You will forever live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. Always feel that deep in your soul as well. never not feel it. I truly believe that that is how we stay connected like we do. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you. I miss you like crazy.
 Hope you are doing well on this Friday afternoon. The weather here is still pretty crappy. Day 7 of rain & strong winds & cold....holy smokes.... it is chilly outside. Everyone was posting these gorgeous sunset pictures last night as it was the last night of summer for this year & Mom was like..." Not here... it was cloudy, gray, overcast & day 6 without the sun shining. " The pictures were just unbelievable. I wish I could have seen something like that in person. maybe when this weather clears & the sun finally shines again Mom will be able to get a stunning painting from you. Mom will find the best sunset picture that I can from my friend's posting & put it on here tonight. That way everyone can see the beauty in it. Mom is really hoping that this weekends warms up a bit & the sun finally is shining because all this weather is really hurting my head & my eyes. I don't mind the rain but not all these days right in a row. The wind is just whipping & howling out there. I can hear it over me typing to you. These are days that make it very hard for Mom to do anything as I can't get my sh*t together. Mark is working from home & said that his head is hurting him from this weather too. Not much has been going on with updates. I have spoken to Meme & Grandpa bot last night & today & all is well. Nothing really to report. They were just calling to chit chat with Mom. I will get in touch with them over the weekend just to say hello & then I will be seeing them next week for 3 days! Mark & Mom leave on Wednesday & return on Sunday. It will be nice to get away for a couple day to see everyone. Mom hasn't seen Meme or Bob in 2 months. I really won't be seeing anyone else other than family this time around. Mom is coming to learn that she really doesn't have any friends anymore. I talk to people but the ones that I thought I was really close to just blow me off & have been for a long time now. I was seeing it but just didn't want to admit it as it hurt my feelings. I am now pretty much over it. Yeah it stings at times when I think about it but Mom was tired of being the only one that would try to stay in touch. If I wanted to talk to them I would have to message, text or call first. Not anymore. Just isn't happening. Not putting my energy into that anymore because I always get hurt in the end. Family is what I need & that is what Mom has right now. That is the most important to me....always has. Others will come & go & that is okay....the ones that mean the most to Mom will always stay. Anyways....Mom will take lots of pictures while I am in NH next week. I will share some with you on here as well. 
 Well that is what I have for you today.... here are the prayers for you: May God open the heavens and give you a glimpse of how far you’ve come in this battle. You’re still standing! In Christ, you’re stronger than you know. May you see with eyes of faith the distance you've already traveled! May Jesus speak peace to your soul and strength to your heart. May you understand—on a whole new level—why God has allowed you to endure your storms. He has something for you here…treasures in the darkness that will serve you well in the days ahead. Don’t lose hope. Don’t let go of His promises. Circumstances are changing even now because of your faith. You are part of the conquering army of saints in the world today! 
  May God Himself recover and restore what the enemy has stolen. May He heal family rifts, renew tired relationships, and revive weary faith. May He lift you up and make you strong. May He give you wisdom in boundaries and humility in love. May He show you what's yours and grace you to release what isn't. May you know-beyond a shadow of a doubt that nothing and no one can separate you from God's love. Walk in humble, hopeful faith tonight. And stay in your grace-place. He's got you.
 Here is a saying for the day as well: " A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. "
 Well. Tyler.... it is again that time of day where Mom needs to get going & get things ready for the night routine. Mark will be off the phone soon & work will be done for the day or in his case 2 weeks as he is on vacation. Mom will still have to study some of those days but I will take some time & hit the books when Mark is busy doing something. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then .... Mom will whisper to you later this evening so smile when you here my voice & I will smile back to you. Come visit me in my dreams tonight if you can & please continue to watch over us all. Thank you. May your evening be everything that you want & need it to be. Continue to soar & fly high. Learn all that you can & want to & have fun. Sweet dreams my shining star. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!