Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday evening? Today is the day... it is the last day of 2018. In less than 7 hours it will be New Year's Day.... Mom's favorite holiday! It will be a chance for new beginnings and fresh starts to a brand new year. It will officially be 2019. Mom and Mark are still planning on laying low. We will have a good time though. We are going to have a nice dinner and then dessert and later we will be making cookies and watching the ball drop at midnight like we used to do so many years ago. Mom will be in bed right after midnight as Mark and I have a planned day tomorrow for New Years. We will be going to the movies and then to dinner. That should be fun! Mom will be writing to you later tomorrow afternoon into the evening because we have to leave at 11 am and we will not get back until after 4 pm. I probably will be writing to you on my iPad so that I don't have to start my computer up...lol. I sure hope that you will be celebrating from above and watching us all here ring in the new year. Mom remembers all the times that we have people over and we played games and listened to music and watched the ball drop. We would have tons of food and desserts and lots of noise makers and confetti being thrown. Those were the days and Mom misses them a lot. Last year we had Rick, Marion and Charlie here and we had a small gathering. It was okay but Marion was on her phone all night and barely spoke to me while the guys proceeded to get drunk and fast. Mom was the only sober one and I just wanted everyone to leave so I could go to bed. What a difference a year makes... we still speak to Rick but not the other 2. Life happens and life goes on. 
 Today started out pretty good. I had the chance to chat with a friend for a couple hours but then it went downhill from there. Mom had all these great fun plans and now I don't want to do any of it. Every hour seemed to get worse. Mark and Mom had a spat and things are okay now but no where near better. I will explain that to you at a later time. Then I get a message from a friend asking if I heard about another one of our friends and I said no. Come to find out he was killed last night. He was Aunt Beck's age. They graduated together. Mom graduated with his brother. Then Aunt Shirley messages me asking if I would call Grandpa to tell him that his friend, his Fire Chief years ago passed away this morning. I called Grandpa to tell him and of course he was upset. He also had just gotten back from his doctor's visit. I will tell you about that later as well. Then my friend that I was chatting with this morning wrote on social media that in January she will be having an endoscopy done to see if she has cancer. It was like boom...all at once everything happened within a few short hours. It was crazy. So much sadness in this world and a lot to digest for it being the last day of the year. Not the best way to start off the new year at all. Mom's heart goes out to all the families that are grieving right now. May Eric and Chief Ford R.I.P. for eternal life now. 
 It is already 5 pm and I need to get going so that I can feed the pups and start making our dinner. Mom wanted to take a minute though to thank all who read my letters to you daily. I appreciate each and every one of you even though I don't know who any of you are. I want to wish you a very Happy New Year and may 2019 be kind to you all. I hope you continue to follow me on here and I hope that I can continue to help others that may be grieving like I am still. Many blessings everyone. Thank you again. To you Tyler, Mom misses you each and every day since you left the physical world. This June will be 6 years that you have been gone. It doesn't get any easier at all. Time doesn't heal these wounds. Mom manages every day to get through them. Sure you see me laugh and sometimes have a good time with our family but deep inside my thoughts are always with you and I am so sad. You see me cry many tears a lot when I am alone. That is because I don't want anyone to see me. I would rather them think that I am doing okay. It is easier for me. I am sorry that you have to witness it though. I ask you to continue to be by Mom's side daily and to help me because I will always need your help my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world.  You will always be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you will live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom has lit the candle for you already tonight and it will be until I go to bed. Mom will whisper to you like I do every night so smile for me and I will smile for you. Have fun while I sleep and come visit me in my dreams if you can. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then.... good night and sweet dreams, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

Here is today's prayer:

In the beginning you laid the foundations of the earth, and the heavens are the work of your hands. They will perish, but you remain; they will all wear out like a garment. Like clothing you will change them and they will be discarded. But you remain the same, and your years will never end. Psalm 102:25–27, NIV

Lord our God, thank you for letting your light shine every day of every year. Thank you that we may always lift our eyes to you, whose right hand will bring true order to everything, even in difficult times. Give our hearts the strength to be faithful in this age, the strength to glorify you. For you remain, no matter what happens on earth. You are our God. You have sent us the Savior and we can draw close to you. Your promise to us stands firm, the promise that your day with its truth and justice shall come, to the honor of your name. May many people turn their hearts to you; may they worship you and call to you for help, to the glory of our Savior Jesus Christ. Amen.