Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is not having the best of days at all I am afraid. This morning started it all. Up at 7 am like usual to feed the pups. Mom forgot to get something in the bedroom and I was holding Ozzy. He was not liking it and jumped out of my arms. Went back to the hallway to pick him back up to go down the stairs and I got all the way down and he started wiggling so bad that I had a hard time controlling him and I wrenched my shoulder at the same time...to say the least I ended up throwing him on the floor. Not from a tall distance....it sounds worse then it was but automatically Mark starts yelling at me telling me I can't do that to him (like I did it on purpose 😢) He didn't even bother to ask what happened and to why it happened, he just assumed I just did it...ugh! Mom fed the pups and then started to get them chained up to go outside. Mark just did his own thing and thought of himself as usual. Mom ended up walking them by myself. They didn't stay out long as it was raining. Mom came in, picked Princess up and then Ozzy and went upstairs. I made the bed and then was going to get ready right off but decided to go to my office and do a bit of tidying up. I finished that at 10 am, took a shower and then headed downstairs to get something to eat. I have been in my office ever since. everyone is pretty quiet. Meme is downstairs, Mark has been playing video games all day long...shocker and Bob is wherever. Both pups are sleeping and it has still been raining all day long. really windy and heavy rain too. No thunder or lightning which is great! Guess it is suppose to rain all day, night, all day tomorrow and Wednesday as well. The rest of the week will have 50% chance of thunderstorms and rain too. Not a great weather week at all. Mark isn't talking to Mom at all which is fine by me. I am so sick and tired that everyone can be in a bad mood or they can be hurt and that is okay but when I do or I am... I can't. He doesn't tolerate it at all. My answer to that was touche … tough sh*t! He is getting a dose of his own medicine as far as I am concerned. I am not apologizing for a dang thing. Mom is just really tired of everyone right now. I have absolutely no tolerance for Bob at this point. He does nothing at all, doesn't listen if you talk to him or tell him something and he acts like a 2 year old. Mom doesn't talk to him anymore because quite frankly after yesterday I have no desire to and I don't want to. I know that may sound mean to anyone who is reading this but it really is not. I have lived almost 8 months with this kind of behavior and most wouldn't have dealt with it past 2 months. I have tried and failed because of him not wanting to or caring to help. Meme is pretty much done as well. She doesn't interact with him anymore then she has too and that is basically just breakfast, lunch and dinner. Other than that she doesn't get near him. Mark has tried on several occasions and has finally given up as well. He tries the hardest still with no effort on Bob's part. I tried telling him to stop but he wouldn't. I did admire his persistence but no more....lol. Mark doesn't either apparently! I don't know what to do anymore. Mom is not happy at all. She never gets to do what she wants to, I am sick of cleaning up after 3 adults and 2 dogs plus myself. I am tired a lot of the time and I am just stressed out. None of which is good at all for me or anyone for that matter. I voice how I feel and nothing changes. I have come to realize that I am just going to stay away from everyone. I will work on my subscription box business, my school, the pups and that is it. Everyone else can fend for themselves. It is time they all see just how much I really do around this house and for all of them. I hate feeling this way but honestly I do not know what to do anymore. Meme said that since I turned 49 2 weeks ago, I am mean... no I am not mean! I am just not letting people walk all over me or I am not taking anyone's sh*t anymore. It is a side that no one has really seen from me so they just think I am being mean and bitchy. I really don't care anymore. I really don't. I know you don't like seeing Mom this way, Tyler but I have tried. I really have. I am feeling defeated and lost right now. I feel like I don't belong here in this house or with Mark, Meme and the pups. This whole living arrangement was out of the kindest of Mark and Mom's heart but it just is not working out. It hasn't from week 1. Meme agrees but she does nothing about it. Mark and Mom's marriage is not even a marriage at all. It sucks. I try but he doesn't so I have lost the desire to try anymore. Ugh.... Enough of this. I just can't anymore. You see Mom. You see how I am and how I am feeling. I am sorry for this though.
 Today is May 25th. The last Monday in May. It is Memorial Day. A somber day for many. Mom will be posting a few pictures on here today in memory of all that served for our country. Many people think today is a day where they get a 3-4 day weekend and it is about grilling, drinking and having fun when that is not what it is about at all. We can and get to do all those things is because of the ones that fought for us, served our country and died so that we have the freedom that we do still have today. Mom sends a prayer to everyone and their families today and every day. 
 In 6 days it will be June. The month that I dread every year. It is the worst month every calendar year. This year will be no exception. Mom will get through it the best that I can though...just like I always do. Bare with me during the new month ahead. Please send me extra signs to let me know you are near me. Thank you my sweet angel son. I miss you so much. I wish we could sit and have a conversation. I miss you face and your voice. I love you more than anything. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are and always will be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. Mom will light a candle for you later tonight. I will whisper to you before I go to bed too. Smile for me and I will smile to you. 
 I think tonight will be fairly quiet. I don't plan on going downstairs at all other than to feed the pups at 5 pm and to take them out for their walk. I will spend the evening in the bedroom and cuddling up, watching tv. Mom is pretty tired so I know I will be going to bed early. My shoulder is doing better but I think I hurt my right hip as it is hard to sit in one position for long. I keep getting sharp pains as well. The joys of getting older...lol. I am sure I will feel better in the morning. Mom will write to you in the afternoon as I have a nail appointment in the morning. I hope you get to have fun while I am sleeping tonight. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you my sweet precious son. 
 Mom is going to get going. It is still early in the day...2:46 pm but Mom is going to just sit in her chair and hopes that it will help my hip. Until tomorrow comes...good night and sweet dreams later. I love you, pumpkin!
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💕