Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday morning? Mom says morning because it is only 10 am. We have been up since 7 am. Pups were fed and walked, breakfast done and a few things done around the pool area already. Mark is already outside putting running boards on his Jeep and Mom vacuumed the upstairs and cleaned and dusted all the vents on the ceiling. It has been a busy morning and the afternoon will be just as busy. Mom and Mark have to go run errands this afternoon and then Mom is making a big meal for everyone for dinner tonight. We are having lasagna and homemade garlic bread with cheese. Should be very yummy! dessert will be ice cream sundaes. I will start that around 2 pm and get it all prepped and ready to be baked at 4 pm so that we can eat by 5 pm. The rest of the day is spent getting the pool ready. We are having a tough time but it is coming along. There is a chlorine shortage for some reason but Mom was able to snag 8 gallons so that will last us 8 weeks. Hopefully we will be able to find more later when we need it. I look forward to getting to pool set so that I can spend the day swimming and then laying out to get some color again! That should be next weekend so I am happy about that! 

I am sorry that I didn't write to you yesterday but that day didn't go anything like it was planned. Mark was scheduled to work from 4pm to 12 am but yesterday morning when Mark looked to make sure everything was set for him he realized that something was wrong so he had to hop in the Jeep and go to the office. He left at 12 noon and got home at 4 pm just in time to start his shift. He didn't get to eat dinner or anything. He was not supposed to sit in front of his computer during that time either but he did. He got down work at 12:15 pm. It was a very long day for him. Mom did grocery shopping online to 2 places and put everything away when it arrived. I fed the pups and got them set for 5 pm and then I made a very quick dinner for myself. I went upstairs at 5:30 pm and stayed there the rest of the evening. I relaxed and watched 2 movies and then a tv show. At 11 pm I was so tired I went to bed. I didn't even hear Mark come into the bedroom that is how tired I was. I real rested today which is a good thing. I think sometimes Mom just does too much and I need to unwind for a day and do nothing. Guess that day was yesterday! Good thing because today is going to be busy like I already wrote to you.

Today is May 2nd. It holds a special meaning that Mom was not aware of... It is National Bereaved Mother's Day. I wish I wasn't part of this day at all. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I miss everything about you. You were my world from the day I found out I was pregnant until the day you left this world and beyond. You are still my everything. You are forever in my heart, mind, body and soul. You always will be. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my true hero and the wind beneath my wings. 

Today was also a special day for Mom and your Dad many many years ago. It was the day that we got married back in 1998. It would have been our 23rd wedding anniversary if we have stayed together. I am sure I am the only one who remembers this and that is ok. That is how my mind works. I don't even know how your Dad is doing these days. No one has heard from him. I know a year ago he got into that bad motorcycle accident but that is it. He used to keep in touch with me but I haven't heard from him in over 3 years now. I did try to reach out to him after I heard about the accident but never got a response back. I am sure you check on him from time to time along with the kids. I know you weren't always treated right by him and you learned that as you grew up. I am so sorry for that, Ty. You didn't deserve that at all. I tried my hardest to be both Mom, Dad and Nurse for all those years. I know I made many wrongs along the way but I tried my hardest for you. I hope you knew that and you can forgive me for all that I did wrong. 

Well, Mark had to run to the auto parts store to get some tools to put the running boards on. He said he would be done by 12 noon...1.5 hours from now. That is Mom's cue to get her butt in gear and get the rest of the stuff that I need to do done so that we can head out to run our errands after. Mom will be thinking of you all day and talking about you like I always do and I always will. I will light the candle warmer this evening for you and I will whisper to you like I do every night before I fall asleep. Please watch over Mom and all of us. Keep us safe and healthy. Thank you. Have fun while I sleep and come visit if you can later this evening in my dreams. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you. Continue to fly high and free like I know you are. Mom is still looking for her painting in the sky. I think you are holding out on me and you are going to give me a spectacular one on my Birthday. I will take it and I will be waiting for it! Get those brushes ready. Mom needs to run.... until tomorrow comes...happy day to you with whatever you have to do and want to do in the heavens above and good night and sweet dreams later. I love you with all my heart and soul.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💙