Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing alright. Today is a tough day as it is Mother's Day. It is my 9th one spent without you and it still hurts like hell. I went to bed last night dreaded it and woke up this morning feeling sad. mark wished me a Happy Mother's day and I about burst into tears but I held back and didn't. I have always been upset and angry in the past that I was not able to spend more Mother's Day with you but I decided to look at things a bit different this year for some reason. I chose to remember all the Mother's Days that we did get to spend together and the fun we had. I chose to not shut down and be sad and just want the day over with as I realized when I do that I am not honoring you and Mom. I didn't want that this time so I decided to smile and wish everyone a nice day. I stayed busy and I stay as happy as I could. I hope you saw that and I hope I made you proud. I would like to think that I am realizing and growing spiritually. 

I am sorry that I didn't write to you last night but it was a busy day and kind of messed up...let me explain... Mark and Mom were up early. We took the top off the jeep and we took a ride about an hour away. After that we chose to go to a few stores and we got home at 2 pm. Mark took off right after with Bob for a bit while Mom made a salad to go with dinner that we were grilling. I finished that at 3 pm and then sat down for a bit. I bought some dried flowers and arranged them in my vases. while I was doing that, Bob came in and asked if we had plans for today...Sunday. I said yes we did and asked why. He said he was hoping to go to some sport shop again that was about 90 minutes away. I said nothing and Meme spoke up and said no...you are not going...they have plans and you don't need to. Bob got so angry that he said...have it your way and he stormed off like a child. He refused to speak to any of us last night. Mark told me that he told Bob that he would take him but not for 3 weeks. I think Bob was hoping that I would change our plans so that Mark would take him but I didn't. He was still angry this morning....oh well. Meme won't drive him to this place because it is a ways away so Mark is his only hope. He wants to go all the time and that is not happening either. Anyways... last night was pretty quiet here after that and continued to be quiet until the renters started in. They are trouble makers....ugh! I hope they leave soon. Everything that they are doing is BS! Mom didn't even come in her office yesterday at all and turn her computer on. Today has been the same way. I turned it on just now to write to you and then it is going off again. I have a skype call with Tubal and Karen in 40 minutes and then it will be a drink and relaxing while watching tv tonight. Mom is up extra early in the morning because the electrician can be here anywhere from 7-9am and I need to be ready for him to show up. Still crossing our fingers that it is better news than anything. I will fill you in on the letter tomorrow on what was said. 

Aunt Beck called today to say hello. She was saying that Bean has been pretty sick the last several days. She needs to go see a specialist at the beginning of June to see what is up. They did diagnose her but they want to make sure. Aunt Beck is well. Loving Arizona a lot. They are there for this week and part of next week and then they make their way back to Vermont for 3 months and then head back to Arizona for 2 months. They are flying out this time though. I told her I would chat with her this week. I spoke to Grandpa and Debbie last night and I will call them after the skype call as well. I made all kinds of calls today. People wished me a Happy Mother's day online but other than Aunt Beck...no one called me.. I called them...that will stop as well. I am tired of being the only one putting in that effort all the time. We shall see how some like that! 

Not much else to update you on for things. Mark and Mom went out today for a bit and then Mark treated us all to Olive Garden for dinner. That was nice. We wanted a low key day and that is what we got. I was happy with it. This week will be busy and then my Birthday weekend will arrive...6 days and then there will be some fun for sure. Make sure to listen to Mom for all the times I talk to you while there. I will take lots of pictures and I will post some online for you as well. 

I will be back tomorrow for another letter to you. I will whisper to you later this evening and I will also light the candle for you. You will forever be my hero and the wind beneath my wings. Forever you live in my heart, mind, body and soul. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. I miss you my sweet precious son. I miss everything about you and all that we used to do. I miss our time together that we spent. Mom has to get ready for the skype call now. Have fun while I rest tonight. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Until tomorrow comes....good night and sweet dreams.

Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah 💖