Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son in the Heavens above. How are you doing today? As you already know Mom has such a heavy & sad heart. I found out this morning that a dear sweet friend of mine lost her oldest son who was 15 years old this morning. When I heard of this news I was hoping that it was not true. When I called my friend up,  I just knew by the tone of her voice & the way she was crying it was indeed true & there my heart sunk. To listen to her and feel the same pain & raw emotions that I went through 1 year ago after losing you hurt me to no end. She kept saying to Mom... help me through this, how do I go on and continue to live, what happened???... all the questions that I had as well. A year has passed by and I still ask myself these same questions. I don't think there is ever a real answer to them... we just learn to go on even when we don't want to. Everyone said that it never gets easy, it just gets different. Boy that is an understatement. Different isn't even the word for it. What it is, is pure hell. No parent should ever have to endure the pain that I felt losing you or the pain that my friend and her family is experiencing these last few hours. It is like someone ripped our hearts right out of our chests and threw it on the ground for all to walk all over. It is beyond any emotional pain that one has ever experienced. The void is so big, deep and incredible that there are no words to even describe it. We are lost & don't know what to do with ourselves anymore. Decisions that once were so easy to us are the hardest choices to make on a daily basis. Things that mattered to me ( & now them ) and were important don't matter at all. When you passed, the minutes, hours, days, weeks all ran together. I didn't know what day of the week it was & frankly I didn't really care. When you died a huge part of me died too. It is just the way it goes. 
 Mom spoke about this young man to you many times. I asked you to watch over him when he was not well. He name was Lucas. He, like you had many challenges in this physical world. He had several limitations as you did. No one ever knows why things happen the way that they do but when I try to think of why this happened the way it did... I hear your voice telling me that the way it happened for you was the way you chose it. It was the way you wanted it to be. I can only believe that this was the same for Lucas. It was the way he chose it to be. You both were Angels that walked this Earth. You both were here to be teachers for so many folks that knew you and even for ones that didn't. In my eyes you & Lucas are the definition of TRUE HEROS!!!
 Mom, Dad, Laura & her husband were so blessed to have been given the " job " as parents to you & Lucas. We all faced so many obstacles but with the faith in God we all overcame them together. I would do it all over again if I was given the chance and I know that they would as well to their Lucas. 
 One question that Laura said to me when we spoke was she wondered if you greeted Lucas when he entered Heaven? Even though it was probably not appropriate at the time, I smiled & said yes... I am sure he did. There is no doubt in my mind that you were awaiting his arrival & were there to help Lucas. I can hear you tell him everything will be ok. Please help him, Tyler. Show him the ropes up there in the Heavens above. I know he will be watching over his Mom, Dad, Brother, & Sister every day & he will be with them always..... just like you do for Mom, Mark, & the rest of our family & friends. Thank you pumpkin.
 I will close this letter to you but before I do.. I will look to the sky tonight to see the moon & stars shining brightly. Regardless if I see them or not I know you are up there in the Heavens doing amazing things. May your night be all that you need & want it to be. I miss you so much & love you beyond any words could ever express. You are always in my heart, mind, body & soul....Forever!
 Sweet dreams my precious son. My special Angel who watches over me. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!