Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing this evening in Heaven? Mom is doing so much better than I was yesterday. Sunday I was not feeling so well. I actually stayed in bed all day and just relaxed. I got some much needed rest & I am feeling better today. I wish that I could have written to you the last couple days but Saturday I was so tired & I think that I was actually started to feel rough that evening. Mark & Mom went out during the day & did errands, had some dinner, & right after that I wasn't feeling so hot. We watched a couple movies that night & pretty much was mellow. I sure missed writing to you. I sure miss you... PERIOD!
 The weather here has been been very hot & humid for the last week. I was able to see the moon & stars shining brightly in the evening sky. Made me smile & know that you are with me everywhere I go. You are right there beside me. I just know you are. We had this incredible bond... even death can not separate it. Once again, the weather is turning for the next 5 days. We are in for humid temps, but nasty rain & thunder. I feel so bad for Snickers because he gets so upset. Can you do me a favor & soothe him during those times. It makes it very rough for Mom to do things & to take care of his needs too. Thanks Tyler! Means so much to me. 
 Not much else is really new at all. Doing more plans & purchasing for the wedding. 5 months out now. It is coming really fast for us. I wish that you were here with us for it. I know you & Amy will be there but it just won't be the same. I need you. I need you to tell me that everything will be ok. We got our invitations in the mail the other day. That, I think really put into a true reality for us both. Mark is a wonderful man & I know that you love him & I know you approve of him so that makes this much easier for me. We purchased other things for the " reception " as well. Most of that stuff is done so now it is just saving for the bigger ticket items... flowers, music, catering, etc.... I will keep you posted on everything... I promise!
 Spoke to Meme, Bob, & Grandpa this weekend. Things are good for Grandpa & Debbie. Meme is stressed out & Bob is not doing all that well. He is having a lot of anxiety & panic attacks... you know how those can be. He is just having a really hard time. He did get a job & started it today but it just is not going to work out for him. He was really disappointed & upset. Breaks my heart because he is a great guy & doesn't deserve to be going through all this. Like I have always said... bad things happen to the good ones. Just sad. Can you please watch over him as well. I am sure he could use the extra comforting as well as Meme, Mom & the rest of our family & friends. Thanks pumpkin.
 I have to say that there are so many good movies out right now & so many more coming. I always think of you when I see one that you would really like. I say it out loud & hope that if I am watching it you are right by my side enjoying it too. Right now Mark is watching Xmen ( the newest one ) while I write to you. I know Wolverine was your favorite. I hope you are right here watching it with him. Gosh... I miss you so much. 
 I feel that some days I am doing well. I cry for just a few & go on with my day & other days I just have an extremely hard time with it all. I can't get out of my funk & I want to do nothing at all. I want to be left alone. It is so hard to try & explain to folks just how I feel. It is like 2 steps forward & 100 back. It sucks, but please know that I am trying my best. When I cry it is because I miss you, I miss everything we did, everything we talked about, the jokes, the fights, everything. I cry because I can't see you like I want to, I can't hear your voice like I need to. I want you to know that I am happy that you are happy & can do all the things you longed to do for so long here with Mom. I know 1 day I will see it too. Please know that I love you so much!
 I will be walking the pups in a few. The sky is getting dark now. I am not sure if I will be able to see the stars & moon but if I can't I know you are there with the rest of Mom's friends & family. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear me. Oh wow... I just looked outside the window & the sky is overcast & cloudy but the clouds have a pink hue to them. It is really pretty. I like to think you have done that because you know that is my favorite color! It is things like this that make me smile. 
 I hope you have a peaceful evening tonight. May you have sweet dreams and may it be all that you need & want it to be. I love you my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, body & soul....
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!