Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom has had quite the day so far. I wanted to write to you before I needed to go make dinner. Mom has been taking care of Mark all day as he has been sick. I know that he really is feeling like poop because he never calls out of work. He has been sleeping quite a bit. Made him breakfast & lunch to make sure he is getting food & fluids in his system. Not sure what is going on but I know it is kicking his butt pretty good. Anything you can do for him Mom would appreciate it a great deal. I know Mark would appreciate it as well. Thanks pumpkin. Tonight will be an early night for us both as Mom is pretty tired. The weather today has been cool for temps but the sun has been shining bright & it is wonderful. It makes Mom smile despite everything else that is going on. Hope you are somewhere warm & sunny too. If I know you & I do, I know you are!
 Not much is new & I have no real updates for you as you have seen the day that I have had. Maybe tomorrow or through the weekend I will have some for you. Mom does feel pretty bad though. This morning I said some things that I maybe shouldn't have or at least said them in a different way. I know I hurt someone bad. It hurts Mom to think about it right now. I am such an honest person that at times I don't think before I speak. I need to practice that more. I need to really know what I am going to say & how I am going to say it before it just flies out of my mouth. I hope in time that that person can forgive Mom. If not then it is my fault & I will have to live with it. Mom also did another thing today as I was talking to a friend & he was telling me about someone he has been talking to. He mention something & Mom said to be careful...there was a long story behind that all & I didn't think that something was true. Later on, I found out that it was indeed true & I screwed something else up. I did however get in touch with that person & I apologized about it & said that I was very sorry for the whole thing. Mom felt like dirt. I should have never assumed. I have learned a very valuable lesson with that. Maybe Mom needs to just be quiet for a while & not talk to anyone. What do you think? I know you are shaking your head & saying " Oh, Mom " I can hear you now. One day I will learn, right? Honestly, I think I already have.
 I have a couple daily prayers to write to you so here they are. April 13~ Then was our mouth filled with laughter & our tongue with singing: then said they among the heathen, the Lord hath done great things for them. Inspired by you, O God, I wisely invest in the future by deciding to chase kites on spring days, to chase balls on playgrounds & to chase laughter rising from a baby's lips like bubbles on the wind rather than to chase dust bunnies beneath beds! Amen.
 April 14~ So then faith cometh by hearing & hearing by the word of God. Lord, I want my thoughts to be like your thoughts. I want to discern what you discern & have the insight you have into all that happens in the world. I know that can never really be, Lord, but if I if I am open to your Spirit at all times, perhaps I can construe your hopes now & then. May my mind never be so cluttered that I fail to receive a message you are trying to share with me, Lord. Amen.
 All caught up yet again. It sure feels great! Mom hates when I don't write to you as I don't feel as close to you. I know that may sound silly to some & that is ok but to Mom this is a way to continue to heal from my grieving of losing you. Maybe someday I won't feel the guilt as much as I still do. I am not sure though. The sun will be setting in the next couple of hours. I am sure it will be pretty as the day was just so beautiful. Sunsets always remind me of paintings that you did. It makes me smile. Mom hopes to see some stars & the moon tonight. I will be looking later & whispering to you. Be listening out for my voice. Smile & I will too. Mom hopes your night will be all that you need to do & perhaps like to do. May it be filled with peace & love as well. Rest if you can, close your eyes & have the sweetest of dreams. Come visit m tonight if you can when Mom falls asleep. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my ultimate hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!