Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Monday evening? The weather today has been really nice. Warm in the 70's & sunny with blue skies. Today has been a tough day for Mom. It is one of those days that I just miss you beyond any words could ever say. That is really nothing new but it is so much more intense for some reason. I got many things done today for housework & I even cleaned out my side of the closest. It was dirty but I went through my clothes again & such to see what I could donate. I also updated all my information on Monster.com so that I can start to get some job searches going so I can get out & go back to work. Mom will be doing more of that tomorrow as well. Lots of searching but that is ok. I also need to start doing some looking around for my continuing education credits so that I can keep the certification up that I worked so hard for. Mom is really trying to stay busy, stay focused & better herself. As of today, I also decided to start exercising again & change my diet to a " clean eating " plan. That consists of lots of fish, chicken, fruits, veggies & nuts. I am hoping to loose some of the weight that I have gained in the past year. I know I can do it... it is mind over matter. I know you will be watching over me as well to help kick me in the butt when I need it...lol. 
 I am so sorry that Mom did not write to you last night. I have no excuses or reasons other than Mark & Mom went out for lunch & ran errands.We got back at 3:30 pm or so & Mom was not feeling all that well. We both had a drink during our meal & I guess mine just did not sit right. I was pretty much down the rest of the afternoon & evening. Mom didn't sleep much last night either but again I am doing ok. Please forgive me for not writing to you. I know you really understand because you see everything but Mom just feels she has to say it. 
 As far as updates, I don't have any as I did not talk on the phone at all over the weekend. Today I spoke to Auntie Kristina & another friend of mine. Every one seems to be doing just fine. No news is good news in my book. Aunt Beck did text Mom to say that things have been pretty busy but she will be calling me tomorrow to chat. Hope so as I miss her bunches! Hopefully I will have some updates for you in the next couple days. 
 Mom was pretty sad this afternoon. Did you see that? Auntie Jacqui sent me something over facebook & I started to read it & just lost it. It was about a 2 1/2 year old boy who contracted a virus that left him paralyzed. It happened over night & the doctors are saying that the virus is so rare it is perhaps one out of a million. The doctors named it transverse myelitis. Sound familiar? Immediately after I read this I sent the family a message telling them that their story just hit home & Mom was hurting & brokenhearted about their little boy. I told them about you & that I knew what they were going through. Told them if they needed anything or someone just to talk to they could contact me directly. Oh Ty, I lost it my sweet precious son. This just happened 4 months ago. I can feel the pain all over again & I am just crushed at the thought of another family having to go through what we both did for all those years. Please look after that family. All Mom knows right now is that they are now living in Indiana. 
 Here is your daily prayer for the last 2 days. April 17~ I sought the Lord, and he heard me, and delivered me from all my fears. No matter the worries I have, small or large, you O God, are there ahead of me with promises of help & support that relieve me & free me from getting stuck in the mire of my daily fears. I am grateful. Amen.
 April 18~ Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God. Father, you are the greatest of all peacemakers. You made reconciliation with humanity possible by means of great personal sacrifice yet without compromising the truth. Show me how to follow your example today. Help me not to settle for fake peace---the kind that comes when lies are allowed to prevail for the sake of avoiding conflict. Instead, grant me the courage, grace, & wisdom to work toward real peace, which values all people & fulfills our need for truth & love. Amen.
 All caught up once again. The sun is now setting for our evening sky. The sky is clouding up as we are suppose to be getting rain for most of the day tomorrow. Probably not going to see any stars or moon shining bright but I know you are shining so bright for someone or so many people that need it more than Mom tonight. Be listening out as I will be whispering to you as I always do. Please smile & so will Mom. Hope your night is filled with all the things you are needing to do & things that you may want  do. Slow down though & close those sweet eyes of yours. Have the best dreams possible & come see Mom tonight in my own dreams when I close my eyes to fall asleep. You are always in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true hero & my wind beneath my wings. I miss you like crazy & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Good night, Tyler.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!