Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday morning? Mom has been up bright & early this morning ( 6:30 am ) & has done so much already! I didn't linger in bed at all. Made coffee for Mark, got the pups fed, made the bed, gathered the trash up, packed the rest of the vehicle, got ready, downloaded all my pictures to my computer & hard drive & now I am writing to you. we will be heading out in about 2 1/2 hours to drive up North to the White Mtns for the weekend. Marion, Charlie & the kiddos will be there tonight as well...around 6 pm or so & then everyone else will be coming up Saturday morning. Should be a fun time for the most part. Mom says that because yesterday I was chatting with my sweet friend ( the one who's 16 year old son is terminal & has been battling cancer for 2 years now... Mom has spoken about him on here a few times. ) & she was telling me that her son is not doing well at all now. He has fluid in his lungs, the tumors are getting larger & larger, chemo is no longer working, the main vein is completely pinched off & his heart is only working 1/2 of what it should be. They knew that Mom was going to be up that way where they live & he has requested to see me. The weather is supposed to be really bad tomorrow up there with snow all day long but Mom needs to go. I have a feeling that it won't be long now for him. He will be joining you very soon & that breaks my heart for him & his whole family. I know if Mom doesn't go & make the time I will regret it so much & I don't want that at all. Please if there is anything you can do to help out with the weather up North on Saturday, Mom would appreciate it so much my sweet precious son. I know that you know going to see them will bring up a lot of emotions for me. I have known Eli since he was 3 years old but it will bring so much up & Mom will be thinking of you. I will try my best not to lose control of my emotions because I know they don't need that but it will be very difficult. I know somehow you will be with Mom guiding me through it all & I thank you for that. I love you so much, Tyler. I miss you every second of every hour of every day of every month & through the whole year over & over again. In less than 4 months it will be 5 years for you. 5 years is such a long time for Mom. I miss you beyond words. I miss everything we shared & all that we got to do through the 22 years. Mom will hold on tight to those memories & cherish them forever. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Always my hero & the wind beneath my wings. Forever in my heart, mind, body & soul you will remain. Tonight, Mom will not be lighting a candle because we will be gone from home but where we are going there will be a fireplace & we will have one going. I remember how much you loved the fire place in our old home. We both would squeeze by it to get all that warm heat...lol! Mom will whisper to you as I always do each night so be listening out for my voice later this evening. Smile for Mom & I will smile right back to you. Mom hopes that your evening tonight will be everything you need to do & may want to do. I am sure you are busy going places & learning so many new things for your next journey. Aunt Beck says she hasn't seen you in awhile so you must be very busy. Doesn't surprise me at all. Have fun tonight while I sleep & make sure to come be with Mom & visit me in my dreams. Thanks pumpkin! Mom doesn't have any updates for you this morning but I will have a lot to talk about in my next letter to you. If I don't get to write to you on Saturday I will be writing to you on Sunday evening when we get back home. Saturday is going to be really busy for us, but Mom will be talking to you throughout the day & night so always smile for me & I will return that smile right back to you. Send me some signs to let me know you are with me if you can. I will be keeping my eyes open for them. Thanks, Ty!
 Here is the color & meaning for today: Purple: Purple balances the stimulation of red & the calm of blue. With a sense of mystic & royal qualities, purple is well liked by very creative or eccentric types & is the favorite color of adolescent girls. Purple is known for spiritual, passionate & visionary.
 Here is the saying for the day: Today know that you are good enough. Stop worrying if you are pretty enough, strong enough, rich enough, smart enough, smart enough.... You must KNOW that you are ENOUGH. Don't let negative thoughts have power over you....Take a deep breath & know that you matter & you are ENOUGH!
 Here are the prayers for the day as well:
  When the arrows zing by you from every direction, firm up your stance, raise your shield, and remember who you are. When you’re tempted to become negatively self-aware because you’re under fire, refuse the temptation and smile instead. Jesus loves you. He is with you in battle. And He’s just training you to stand in this place. Rise up from your melancholy and rejoice instead. In Christ Jesus, you’re stronger than you know. Blessings on your night tonight!
 May you allow Jesus to lead you to edges of your comfort zone and give you a fresh vision for where He's taking you. May you put everything on the table and give Him permission to rearrange your life. May you dare to open your hands, look up, and breathe a prayer of thanks right in the midst of this uncertain time, knowing that He's far kinder than you can fathom and far greater than you ever imagined. Can you sense Jesus' invitation to join Him on this adventure of faith? Will you trust Him? Choose joy this weekend. God wants to do a deep and profound work in and through you! Your security is found in HIM!
 Mom needs to get going for now so I can finish getting things set for us to get on the road but know Mom is thinking of you always & that I love you unconditionally my bright shining star. Until tomorrow or Sunday..... Good night & sweet dreams tonight.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!