Saturday, May 31, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How is my pumpkin doing today in Heaven? Mom and Mark are doing well. Didn't get much sleep due to the pups again but I am kind of getting used to this no sleep thing... NOT..LOL ! The weather here is stormy again.. heavy rain and thunder which Snickers is so scared of and yup.. he did his peeing thing all over the place again. Not sure what to do about it but it really is getting old. I hope this week it is sunny. I have a ton of things to do and I will be busy making sure that we have everything all set to head to NH for a few days.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last night! They were beautiful and the sunset was simply amazing. It was really pink..Mom's favorite color. It made me smile from ear to ear :) I whispered to you so I hope that you could hear me chatting away to you.
Everyone is good here. This week will be a busy one for Mark as his " Big Boss " is here in his office all week. Guess he is training a new guy. Spoke to Meme and Grandpa last night... everyone there is doing well and can't wait to see us. Snickers is doing well again except when it is thundering. Max is ok. He took a terrible fall this afternoon. He was up in the loft with me and I had a box up against the stairs so he wouldn't go downstairs and fall well he heard Mark come through the doors..he was so happy that he nudged the box away and he went down the stairs 1/2 way and somersaulted the rest of the way down and fell hard. I think he really hurt himself. We are watching him closely. May be a vet visit in our near future... like tonight or tomorrow if he doesn't look better. I didn't see the fall but Mark did. Guess that was kind of a good thing, ya know? Wish he would just learn and stay put and not do that to himself. Guess trying to train him on that now is probably not going to happen.
Looks like we are headed for another round of storms. It is getting pretty dark for only 5:30 pm. I have seen a few flashes of lightning and heard some small thunder. I guess I better go check on Snicks. I will end this letter to you for now, but I will write to you tomorrow afternoon.
Please know I will look to the sky and whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear Mom. I miss you so much and I love you beyond anything. You will forever be my everything! Please watch over Mom and everyone else. I thank you for all you do.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How is my pumpkin doing today in Heaven? Mom and Mark are doing well. Didn't get much sleep due to the pups again but I am kind of getting used to this no sleep thing... NOT..LOL ! The weather here is stormy again.. heavy rain and thunder which Snickers is so scared of and yup.. he did his peeing thing all over the place again. Not sure what to do about it but it really is getting old. I hope this week it is sunny. I have a ton of things to do and I will be busy making sure that we have everything all set to head to NH for a few days.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last night! They were beautiful and the sunset was simply amazing. It was really pink..Mom's favorite color. It made me smile from ear to ear :) I whispered to you so I hope that you could hear me chatting away to you.
Everyone is good here. This week will be a busy one for Mark as his " Big Boss " is here in his office all week. Guess he is training a new guy. Spoke to Meme and Grandpa last night... everyone there is doing well and can't wait to see us. Snickers is doing well again except when it is thundering. Max is ok. He took a terrible fall this afternoon. He was up in the loft with me and I had a box up against the stairs so he wouldn't go downstairs and fall well he heard Mark come through the doors..he was so happy that he nudged the box away and he went down the stairs 1/2 way and somersaulted the rest of the way down and fell hard. I think he really hurt himself. We are watching him closely. May be a vet visit in our near future... like tonight or tomorrow if he doesn't look better. I didn't see the fall but Mark did. Guess that was kind of a good thing, ya know? Wish he would just learn and stay put and not do that to himself. Guess trying to train him on that now is probably not going to happen.
Looks like we are headed for another round of storms. It is getting pretty dark for only 5:30 pm. I have seen a few flashes of lightning and heard some small thunder. I guess I better go check on Snicks. I will end this letter to you for now, but I will write to you tomorrow afternoon.
Please know I will look to the sky and whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear Mom. I miss you so much and I love you beyond anything. You will forever be my everything! Please watch over Mom and everyone else. I thank you for all you do.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 29, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing so much better today. I was so tired yesterday due to all the lack of sleep I was getting from being awake with Snickers because of the terrible storms that we were having. I was like a walking zombie. My head was in a fog and I just couldn't do anything. I went to bed at 9:30 pm and woke at 6 am feeling much better. I did somethings around the house today and even did my workout. I have more things to do but it can wait until tomorrow when Mark is at the office working!
The last few days I have been feeling so off my game. I have little patience and I loose my temper when it comes to Max. I am trying really hard to not do this but I get so frustrated and don't know what to do anymore. I know it is not his fault it is because he is old, but when I am constantly up all night and I don't get any sleep because of it I tend to be very cranky and short tempered with everyone. I hate this feeling and I want things to change but I just don't know how to. I found myself curled up in a ball this morning looking out the window and having myself a good cry. I prayed for help. I prayed for you to help me. I need it and I want it.
I have decided to go to bed early now so that I can get up earlier. Maybe it will help me out. I don't know but it is worth the shot to see if things will change. Please be with Mom as I try to make things better. Thank you Tyler.
Aunt Shirley took a couple pictures for Mom so that I could see that she put a cross with a yellow ribbon, a yellow rose, and a green pinwheel at your resting place. I thought that was so sweet of her and I know you were there smiling as she was doing this and talking to you. I will be in NH in 13 days and I will be going to visit you every day I am there. I am going to be working very hard to get you a " marker " with your name on it until I can get you flat stone and bench. Every time Mark and I start to save money for this something else comes up and we have to use it. It just isn't fair to you. I want the best for you. Always did and always will. You deserve it. You deserve a wonderful resting place so that family & friends can visit you. I promise this is top priority for me and this will be taken care of soon. Please forgive Mom for the time it is taken Mark & I.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly the other evening. I was surprised because I didn't think I would see any due to the rain storms we had been having. I whispered to you so I hope you could hear me. I will look again tonight and see if I can see the stars. Regardless, I will whisper to you.
Have a peaceful and restful evening my precious son. I miss you so much and love you to the moon & back. Sweet dreams, Tyler. Forever in my heart, mind & soul....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing so much better today. I was so tired yesterday due to all the lack of sleep I was getting from being awake with Snickers because of the terrible storms that we were having. I was like a walking zombie. My head was in a fog and I just couldn't do anything. I went to bed at 9:30 pm and woke at 6 am feeling much better. I did somethings around the house today and even did my workout. I have more things to do but it can wait until tomorrow when Mark is at the office working!
The last few days I have been feeling so off my game. I have little patience and I loose my temper when it comes to Max. I am trying really hard to not do this but I get so frustrated and don't know what to do anymore. I know it is not his fault it is because he is old, but when I am constantly up all night and I don't get any sleep because of it I tend to be very cranky and short tempered with everyone. I hate this feeling and I want things to change but I just don't know how to. I found myself curled up in a ball this morning looking out the window and having myself a good cry. I prayed for help. I prayed for you to help me. I need it and I want it.
I have decided to go to bed early now so that I can get up earlier. Maybe it will help me out. I don't know but it is worth the shot to see if things will change. Please be with Mom as I try to make things better. Thank you Tyler.
Aunt Shirley took a couple pictures for Mom so that I could see that she put a cross with a yellow ribbon, a yellow rose, and a green pinwheel at your resting place. I thought that was so sweet of her and I know you were there smiling as she was doing this and talking to you. I will be in NH in 13 days and I will be going to visit you every day I am there. I am going to be working very hard to get you a " marker " with your name on it until I can get you flat stone and bench. Every time Mark and I start to save money for this something else comes up and we have to use it. It just isn't fair to you. I want the best for you. Always did and always will. You deserve it. You deserve a wonderful resting place so that family & friends can visit you. I promise this is top priority for me and this will be taken care of soon. Please forgive Mom for the time it is taken Mark & I.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly the other evening. I was surprised because I didn't think I would see any due to the rain storms we had been having. I whispered to you so I hope you could hear me. I will look again tonight and see if I can see the stars. Regardless, I will whisper to you.
Have a peaceful and restful evening my precious son. I miss you so much and love you to the moon & back. Sweet dreams, Tyler. Forever in my heart, mind & soul....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Just wanted to stop by and tell you that I love you and miss you so much. Another rough night with Snickers due to the weather so I am going to go to bed early tonight and hopefully get some sleep.
Later when the sun sets I will look to the sky and hopefully I will see the stars shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do.
I hope you have a peaceful evening. Fly high and fly free up there in the Heavens above. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Just wanted to stop by and tell you that I love you and miss you so much. Another rough night with Snickers due to the weather so I am going to go to bed early tonight and hopefully get some sleep.
Later when the sun sets I will look to the sky and hopefully I will see the stars shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do.
I hope you have a peaceful evening. Fly high and fly free up there in the Heavens above. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Forever in my heart, mind, and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, May 27, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing? I hope that everything up in the Heavens are good and that you are doing all that you need and want to do. I am so sorry for not writing the last 3 nights. As you are probably already aware Mark & Mom have had the hardest time the last couple days/nights. The weather here has been very heavy rains with massive thunder and lightning storms plus tornado and flood warnings. Monday was the worst though. The storms lasted all day and the rain never stopped. Snickers was so scared that I had to hold him for 7 hours to try and keep him calm. Otherwise he would get scared and pee all over the place. Mark and Mom haven't got much sleep either. We are just both so exhausted. Guess it is going to be a very long week for us because it is suppose to do this until Sunday...oh joy!
To say the least when I can not write to you or the day is just too long and busy I feel so disconnected from you. I really dislike that feeling. Due to the weather I haven't seen any stars shining either so that just adds to the sadness. I miss you so much Tyler. Some of my friends that have recently lost their child(ren) are seeing all kinds of signs from them... silhouettes of them around, flowers just popping up where they weren't before and as I read these statements I just wonder what I am doing wrong. Why am I not seeing any signs from you? I am always looking out for them and nothing. Am I trying to hard? What am I doing so wrong? Please give me a sign that you are doing well and that you are near Mom. I know you always are and you are watching out for me and others but I guess I just would like something " bold ". I hope I am not asking too much from you. I know I was already told that you were fine and you were just extremely busy learning new things and gaining a ton of knowledge. I understand that. I guess I am just missing you so much that is all.
Spoke to Aunt Becky today. She and John are heading out to Georgia to pick up a RoadTrek that they purchased. They fly out tomorrow and drive back this week. Please watch over them and make sure that they get there and arrive home safely. Thank you so much for all you do. When we were talking she did mention that she had a weird dream of you when she was in Ecuador. She was upset because she couldn't remember details. She still doesn't know what that was all about. Please go to her and let her know that you are ok. Thank you again.
Skyped with Meme and Bob on Saturday for 3 hours and with Grandpa and Debbie for 2 hours on Sunday. It was so nice to see them all and chat. I can't believe that I will be seeing them all in 2 weeks. As I said before bittersweet for Mom. I believe that it will be very emotional for me in so many ways. Marion and Charlie get married in 18 days...wow... Haven't heard from them lately but I bet they are getting excited
Oh yeah I keep forgetting to tell you that Spencer is a Daddy now. His baby boy was born on May 14th at 10:27pm. Just missed Mom's Birthday by 1 1/2 hours. Close though! He sure is a cutie. I bet somehow you were there with him watching his son being born. It sounds like something you would do. You, Adam, and Spencer were very close. Brothers as you all would say : )
Well, it is getting late and I still have not ate dinner. Poor Mark he must be starving..lol. I will promise to write you a letter every day. Even if it is a short one. I will look to the sky tonight and whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. I miss you so much and I love you beyond any words could ever express. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Sweet dreams Tyler. May your evening be peaceful and restful. Forever in my heart and soul and always on my mind.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing? I hope that everything up in the Heavens are good and that you are doing all that you need and want to do. I am so sorry for not writing the last 3 nights. As you are probably already aware Mark & Mom have had the hardest time the last couple days/nights. The weather here has been very heavy rains with massive thunder and lightning storms plus tornado and flood warnings. Monday was the worst though. The storms lasted all day and the rain never stopped. Snickers was so scared that I had to hold him for 7 hours to try and keep him calm. Otherwise he would get scared and pee all over the place. Mark and Mom haven't got much sleep either. We are just both so exhausted. Guess it is going to be a very long week for us because it is suppose to do this until Sunday...oh joy!
To say the least when I can not write to you or the day is just too long and busy I feel so disconnected from you. I really dislike that feeling. Due to the weather I haven't seen any stars shining either so that just adds to the sadness. I miss you so much Tyler. Some of my friends that have recently lost their child(ren) are seeing all kinds of signs from them... silhouettes of them around, flowers just popping up where they weren't before and as I read these statements I just wonder what I am doing wrong. Why am I not seeing any signs from you? I am always looking out for them and nothing. Am I trying to hard? What am I doing so wrong? Please give me a sign that you are doing well and that you are near Mom. I know you always are and you are watching out for me and others but I guess I just would like something " bold ". I hope I am not asking too much from you. I know I was already told that you were fine and you were just extremely busy learning new things and gaining a ton of knowledge. I understand that. I guess I am just missing you so much that is all.
Spoke to Aunt Becky today. She and John are heading out to Georgia to pick up a RoadTrek that they purchased. They fly out tomorrow and drive back this week. Please watch over them and make sure that they get there and arrive home safely. Thank you so much for all you do. When we were talking she did mention that she had a weird dream of you when she was in Ecuador. She was upset because she couldn't remember details. She still doesn't know what that was all about. Please go to her and let her know that you are ok. Thank you again.
Skyped with Meme and Bob on Saturday for 3 hours and with Grandpa and Debbie for 2 hours on Sunday. It was so nice to see them all and chat. I can't believe that I will be seeing them all in 2 weeks. As I said before bittersweet for Mom. I believe that it will be very emotional for me in so many ways. Marion and Charlie get married in 18 days...wow... Haven't heard from them lately but I bet they are getting excited
Oh yeah I keep forgetting to tell you that Spencer is a Daddy now. His baby boy was born on May 14th at 10:27pm. Just missed Mom's Birthday by 1 1/2 hours. Close though! He sure is a cutie. I bet somehow you were there with him watching his son being born. It sounds like something you would do. You, Adam, and Spencer were very close. Brothers as you all would say : )
Well, it is getting late and I still have not ate dinner. Poor Mark he must be starving..lol. I will promise to write you a letter every day. Even if it is a short one. I will look to the sky tonight and whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for Mom. I miss you so much and I love you beyond any words could ever express. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Sweet dreams Tyler. May your evening be peaceful and restful. Forever in my heart and soul and always on my mind.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, May 23, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet Angel! How are you doing tonight in Heaven? I hope that it is relaxing and peaceful for you. Here where Mom & Mark are.. it is quiet and the sky is clear with a few clouds. The wind is just a whipping though. I was sitting by the window looking outside just watching the trees sway. In a way it was kind of relaxing for me. The last several nights have been a bit tough on us. Max has given us a run for our money that is for sure. He is just constantly up and needing to go to the bathroom and now that we are upstairs it is even more difficult to handle him. I am not sure what to do anymore. I am at a loss for words and actions at this point. Mark feels the same way. We feel bad for him but we have no solutions at this point. We barely get any sleep and we are so tired. If there is anything that you can do on your side for Max we would really appreciate it and I know Max would too. He doesn't get any sleep either... : (
It is Memorial Day weekend so it will be a quiet one around here. It usually is during the Holidays. We are not doing anything. Going to just relax and do our normal things here. I will do housework and laundry, plus grocery shop on Saturday and Sunday and Monday we will just relax and enjoy a little extra time together. It is going to be very warm here..high 90's for the whole weekend. Guess the traffic is going to be even more horrendous than normal so that just makes me want to stay off the roads too!
Things are just the same around here. I haven't really spoken to anyone all week. Oh yeah, I spoke to Grandpa the other night briefly. He is doing well. Working a few hours and doing misc. things to keep him busy. Debbie is good too. I haven't spoken to Meme or anyone else so I will try and catch up with them this weekend. I guess everyone is well. I sure do miss them, but I miss you so much more.
Living on the 2nd floor... we have a " buzzer " that is wired into the apartment so that when doors open it gives this loud beep noise to let us know the doors are ajar... so far it has happened to me twice where the " buzzer " goes off and I immediately drop what I am doing and run because it sounds just like your vent did when it went off. I guess it is a force of habit. When I realize it is just the door my heart sinks and I get a sad face and my heart hurts. Things are just not the same anymore. I love you so much. You were always Moms world. 11 months later I still have a hard time believing that you are gone. I hate even thinking about it. It hurts too much. I have such a void in my heart and my life now. I try my hardest but it just sometimes isn't enough and I don't know what to do. I am lost that is for sure. I am having a hard time finding my place in this world now. Things that mattered to me before don't matter to me now. I just don't care. It has been this way since I lost you. Again.. if you can help me from your side and guide me to what I should be doing I will be looking for signs of help from you. I want you to be with me and smile and be proud of me.
When I take the pups out 1 last time tonight I will look to the stars and whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear Mom and will be listening out for me. Thank you my sweet precious son for all the things you continue to do and help Mom, Mark and all our family & friends out. We all love and miss you so much but no one does more than Mom!!!
Sweet dreams my Angel. May your night be all that you want and need it to be.
I love you and miss you.. Forever!!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet Angel! How are you doing tonight in Heaven? I hope that it is relaxing and peaceful for you. Here where Mom & Mark are.. it is quiet and the sky is clear with a few clouds. The wind is just a whipping though. I was sitting by the window looking outside just watching the trees sway. In a way it was kind of relaxing for me. The last several nights have been a bit tough on us. Max has given us a run for our money that is for sure. He is just constantly up and needing to go to the bathroom and now that we are upstairs it is even more difficult to handle him. I am not sure what to do anymore. I am at a loss for words and actions at this point. Mark feels the same way. We feel bad for him but we have no solutions at this point. We barely get any sleep and we are so tired. If there is anything that you can do on your side for Max we would really appreciate it and I know Max would too. He doesn't get any sleep either... : (
It is Memorial Day weekend so it will be a quiet one around here. It usually is during the Holidays. We are not doing anything. Going to just relax and do our normal things here. I will do housework and laundry, plus grocery shop on Saturday and Sunday and Monday we will just relax and enjoy a little extra time together. It is going to be very warm here..high 90's for the whole weekend. Guess the traffic is going to be even more horrendous than normal so that just makes me want to stay off the roads too!
Things are just the same around here. I haven't really spoken to anyone all week. Oh yeah, I spoke to Grandpa the other night briefly. He is doing well. Working a few hours and doing misc. things to keep him busy. Debbie is good too. I haven't spoken to Meme or anyone else so I will try and catch up with them this weekend. I guess everyone is well. I sure do miss them, but I miss you so much more.
Living on the 2nd floor... we have a " buzzer " that is wired into the apartment so that when doors open it gives this loud beep noise to let us know the doors are ajar... so far it has happened to me twice where the " buzzer " goes off and I immediately drop what I am doing and run because it sounds just like your vent did when it went off. I guess it is a force of habit. When I realize it is just the door my heart sinks and I get a sad face and my heart hurts. Things are just not the same anymore. I love you so much. You were always Moms world. 11 months later I still have a hard time believing that you are gone. I hate even thinking about it. It hurts too much. I have such a void in my heart and my life now. I try my hardest but it just sometimes isn't enough and I don't know what to do. I am lost that is for sure. I am having a hard time finding my place in this world now. Things that mattered to me before don't matter to me now. I just don't care. It has been this way since I lost you. Again.. if you can help me from your side and guide me to what I should be doing I will be looking for signs of help from you. I want you to be with me and smile and be proud of me.
When I take the pups out 1 last time tonight I will look to the stars and whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear Mom and will be listening out for me. Thank you my sweet precious son for all the things you continue to do and help Mom, Mark and all our family & friends out. We all love and miss you so much but no one does more than Mom!!!
Sweet dreams my Angel. May your night be all that you want and need it to be.
I love you and miss you.. Forever!!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, May 21, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope that all is well up in Heaven for you. Mom is doing well today.. the best that can be. The sun is setting as I type you this letter and the view is so much nicer on the 2nd floor. It is a big yellow, orange sunset. Very pretty! My day was pretty busy! Mark worked in the office all day which was a change from the way he normally does it. I had the day to myself so I caught up on things that needed to be done... housework, laundry, etc... The guys that help with apartments here also stopped by to do the rest of the work in the apartment. They were here for about an hour and boy did the pups dislike it. They made so much noise that Snickers got pretty scared. He actually had 2 accidents in the apartment because of it. I felt so bad for him. He was just a shaking. Max didn't care. He pretty much slept through it all..lol : )
Everything is pretty much back to normal here now that the move is complete and done. It feels good to have put it all behind us now. We only have to work in the loft area. We are still trying to decide what to do and where to put things up. We know we are doing a office/media room we just need to get a few pieces of furniture up there to complete it. I wish that you were here with us so that you could enjoy it too. I know you are though. Just in a way that I wish I could see you. I miss you so much.
I always look to the sky as you know so that I can see the stars and I wonder what you are doing? How do you spend your day? Are you always busy doing something or do you have " down time " ? If you do.. what is it like? I have so many questions and I constantly think about it all. My head is always in the thinking mode.
I can't wrap my head around the fact that yesterday was 11 months since you have left us. Next month will be 1 year. The 1 year from hell for me. The ups & downs plus all the emotional roller coaster rides, and the outbursts of cries. I have a feeling that I will always be this way. I watch my show again last night and Theresa did a reading for a woman who lost her only son. I once again could relate to it all. The things she said and the validations that her son was giving his Mom on the Spiritual side. It made me smile and it made me cry. Again.. she gave me the knowledge of knowing that you are always with me just in a different way. You experience things with me by having you by my side. You walk with me and see things as I do. You want me to be happy and move forward. You are learning and growing on the other side. I need these reminders from time to time. I love you so much. You will continuously be my everything! I think ... no I know that you know this :)
Thank you for the stars shining brightly the last several nights. The sky has been so clear. I look up and whisper to you. I hope you can hear me and know that I look forward to it every night. I will whisper to you again tonight. Hope you will be listening! I hope you have a relaxing evening and may it be all that you want it to be and need. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you for all you do for us and all the other Angels that help. Means a lot to us.
Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you and I love you beyond this world. Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope that all is well up in Heaven for you. Mom is doing well today.. the best that can be. The sun is setting as I type you this letter and the view is so much nicer on the 2nd floor. It is a big yellow, orange sunset. Very pretty! My day was pretty busy! Mark worked in the office all day which was a change from the way he normally does it. I had the day to myself so I caught up on things that needed to be done... housework, laundry, etc... The guys that help with apartments here also stopped by to do the rest of the work in the apartment. They were here for about an hour and boy did the pups dislike it. They made so much noise that Snickers got pretty scared. He actually had 2 accidents in the apartment because of it. I felt so bad for him. He was just a shaking. Max didn't care. He pretty much slept through it all..lol : )
Everything is pretty much back to normal here now that the move is complete and done. It feels good to have put it all behind us now. We only have to work in the loft area. We are still trying to decide what to do and where to put things up. We know we are doing a office/media room we just need to get a few pieces of furniture up there to complete it. I wish that you were here with us so that you could enjoy it too. I know you are though. Just in a way that I wish I could see you. I miss you so much.
I always look to the sky as you know so that I can see the stars and I wonder what you are doing? How do you spend your day? Are you always busy doing something or do you have " down time " ? If you do.. what is it like? I have so many questions and I constantly think about it all. My head is always in the thinking mode.
I can't wrap my head around the fact that yesterday was 11 months since you have left us. Next month will be 1 year. The 1 year from hell for me. The ups & downs plus all the emotional roller coaster rides, and the outbursts of cries. I have a feeling that I will always be this way. I watch my show again last night and Theresa did a reading for a woman who lost her only son. I once again could relate to it all. The things she said and the validations that her son was giving his Mom on the Spiritual side. It made me smile and it made me cry. Again.. she gave me the knowledge of knowing that you are always with me just in a different way. You experience things with me by having you by my side. You walk with me and see things as I do. You want me to be happy and move forward. You are learning and growing on the other side. I need these reminders from time to time. I love you so much. You will continuously be my everything! I think ... no I know that you know this :)
Thank you for the stars shining brightly the last several nights. The sky has been so clear. I look up and whisper to you. I hope you can hear me and know that I look forward to it every night. I will whisper to you again tonight. Hope you will be listening! I hope you have a relaxing evening and may it be all that you want it to be and need. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you for all you do for us and all the other Angels that help. Means a lot to us.
Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you and I love you beyond this world. Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, May 19, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this beautiful Monday evening? I hope you are flying high and flying free doing all that you need to and all that you want to! Mom is doing well. The weather is gorgeous outside. Blue skies and 85 degrees. Humid but I will take it. The rest of the week will be in the 90's so I am enjoying the cooler air right now.
I am so sorry that I have not been able to write to you like I have wanted to. We started moving on Friday evening and did it all day Saturday until 7 pm and then restarted again at 10:30 am on Sunday. It was just a busy weekend and it went by quite fast. We are glad that it is done and over with though. We have everything pretty much set except on how we want the loft to be. We are going to make it 1/2 office and 1/2 media room to relax, watch tv, and/ or listening to music. It will look good once we finish it that's for sure. I had several moments where I was doing something and went to say Snickers name and I said yours. Happened again today. Wonder if you were letting me know that you are here with me in this new place! I need to smudge and that is it! I know you will approve on that : )
Mom is doing a little better as far as the fall that I took last Tuesday is concerned. My ribs on the right side still really hurt but I did everything anyways this weekend. I tried to take it easy and I believe that I did but maybe I did over do it just a smidge! Snickers is adjusting to the new apartment well. Better then I thought. Max is doing really well except for all the stairs that he has to climb up. We are looking into some alternatives to help him out. He really has a hard time with the stairs but he is definitely being a trooper. I have lost my patience with him a couple times but I am doing better and I am learning. I have to. Max is old and needs help. Watch out for him and if you can help him along the way to have things get easier for the ole boy. Thanks Tyler.
I hope that even though I have been unable to write to you... you know that I have been thinking of you and missing you like crazy. I talk to you all the time and I do on a daily basis. I hope you can hear Mom. I talk to you in the morning, afternoon, and in the evenings. I always will. Please know that being without you is the hardest thing for Mom. It hurts like crazy and it sucks to know end. I cry and shed tears throughout the day. Some days are better then others and then there are days that I can't get a grip on my emotions. This roller coaster ride is 1 that I want to get off and have you back here with me where you belong. It is hard for me to hear that you are happy in the Heavens above but on the flip side of that it comforts me to know that you are free of everything. I miss you so much Tyler. Please know you are my everything still and always will be.
Now that everything is finished I can get back into a routine again. I will be writing to you like I used to. I will be happy as well. I missed it so much. Tonight the sky will be clear so I will look up to see you shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do.
I hope that you have a restful and peaceful evening. Sweet dreams my sweet son and Angel. I love you to the moon & back and all the way around the world. Forever!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this beautiful Monday evening? I hope you are flying high and flying free doing all that you need to and all that you want to! Mom is doing well. The weather is gorgeous outside. Blue skies and 85 degrees. Humid but I will take it. The rest of the week will be in the 90's so I am enjoying the cooler air right now.
I am so sorry that I have not been able to write to you like I have wanted to. We started moving on Friday evening and did it all day Saturday until 7 pm and then restarted again at 10:30 am on Sunday. It was just a busy weekend and it went by quite fast. We are glad that it is done and over with though. We have everything pretty much set except on how we want the loft to be. We are going to make it 1/2 office and 1/2 media room to relax, watch tv, and/ or listening to music. It will look good once we finish it that's for sure. I had several moments where I was doing something and went to say Snickers name and I said yours. Happened again today. Wonder if you were letting me know that you are here with me in this new place! I need to smudge and that is it! I know you will approve on that : )
Mom is doing a little better as far as the fall that I took last Tuesday is concerned. My ribs on the right side still really hurt but I did everything anyways this weekend. I tried to take it easy and I believe that I did but maybe I did over do it just a smidge! Snickers is adjusting to the new apartment well. Better then I thought. Max is doing really well except for all the stairs that he has to climb up. We are looking into some alternatives to help him out. He really has a hard time with the stairs but he is definitely being a trooper. I have lost my patience with him a couple times but I am doing better and I am learning. I have to. Max is old and needs help. Watch out for him and if you can help him along the way to have things get easier for the ole boy. Thanks Tyler.
I hope that even though I have been unable to write to you... you know that I have been thinking of you and missing you like crazy. I talk to you all the time and I do on a daily basis. I hope you can hear Mom. I talk to you in the morning, afternoon, and in the evenings. I always will. Please know that being without you is the hardest thing for Mom. It hurts like crazy and it sucks to know end. I cry and shed tears throughout the day. Some days are better then others and then there are days that I can't get a grip on my emotions. This roller coaster ride is 1 that I want to get off and have you back here with me where you belong. It is hard for me to hear that you are happy in the Heavens above but on the flip side of that it comforts me to know that you are free of everything. I miss you so much Tyler. Please know you are my everything still and always will be.
Now that everything is finished I can get back into a routine again. I will be writing to you like I used to. I will be happy as well. I missed it so much. Tonight the sky will be clear so I will look up to see you shining brightly. I will whisper to you as I always do.
I hope that you have a restful and peaceful evening. Sweet dreams my sweet son and Angel. I love you to the moon & back and all the way around the world. Forever!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 15, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today on Mom's Birthday? I hope your day is calm and beautiful with the blue skies and the sun shining like it is for Mom today! It has been the nicest weather that we have had in the last 6 days. Sunny and 80 degrees outside. Just what I asked for!
Today has been quite emotional for me as it is another 1st for Mom without you. I have a message you sent me over FB last year wishing me a Happy Birthday and I also have a message on my cell phone with the same thing. I read the message but didn't listen to the voice mail because I didn't want to cry anymore. So many of my friends and our family have sent me wishes today which is so sweet, cards, flowers, balloons, and gifts but I am missing my son. I miss you so much. I miss hearing you say and sing to me. You would always make me smile. I love you pumpkin!
I am so sorry that I have not wrote on my blog the last couple days but Mom took a nasty tumble on Tuesday night and really hurt herself. I was down for the last 2 days. They think I either bruised or fractured my rib on the right side. My knee is all swollen too. Leave it to Mom, huh? Mark said just call me " Grace "! I am doing way better today. Still hurts when I breathe but I can tolerate it so much better than the last 2 days/nights. I swear I am cursed on the week on my Birthday. Last year was Snickers biting me and now this..this year! Guess next year will be a good one right?
So.. we got the keys to our apartment today and we move in tomorrow and over the weekend. We are pretty excited to get the bigger place. A lot more room in there and extra space so when we have family & friends visit we will have the room for them. The stairs will be a challenge for Max though. We did a trial test today and he had a hard time going up them and almost fell over and down the stairs. It will be a work in progress.
The sky is clear right now and the sun just set so I am hoping that when we take the dogs out later I will be able to see the stars shining brightly. I know you are up there regardless. I know you watch over Mom and everyone else. You and the other Angels take such good care of us all. Thank you so much! I will whisper to you later so I hope you will hear me. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever with me.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today on Mom's Birthday? I hope your day is calm and beautiful with the blue skies and the sun shining like it is for Mom today! It has been the nicest weather that we have had in the last 6 days. Sunny and 80 degrees outside. Just what I asked for!
Today has been quite emotional for me as it is another 1st for Mom without you. I have a message you sent me over FB last year wishing me a Happy Birthday and I also have a message on my cell phone with the same thing. I read the message but didn't listen to the voice mail because I didn't want to cry anymore. So many of my friends and our family have sent me wishes today which is so sweet, cards, flowers, balloons, and gifts but I am missing my son. I miss you so much. I miss hearing you say and sing to me. You would always make me smile. I love you pumpkin!
I am so sorry that I have not wrote on my blog the last couple days but Mom took a nasty tumble on Tuesday night and really hurt herself. I was down for the last 2 days. They think I either bruised or fractured my rib on the right side. My knee is all swollen too. Leave it to Mom, huh? Mark said just call me " Grace "! I am doing way better today. Still hurts when I breathe but I can tolerate it so much better than the last 2 days/nights. I swear I am cursed on the week on my Birthday. Last year was Snickers biting me and now this..this year! Guess next year will be a good one right?
So.. we got the keys to our apartment today and we move in tomorrow and over the weekend. We are pretty excited to get the bigger place. A lot more room in there and extra space so when we have family & friends visit we will have the room for them. The stairs will be a challenge for Max though. We did a trial test today and he had a hard time going up them and almost fell over and down the stairs. It will be a work in progress.
The sky is clear right now and the sun just set so I am hoping that when we take the dogs out later I will be able to see the stars shining brightly. I know you are up there regardless. I know you watch over Mom and everyone else. You and the other Angels take such good care of us all. Thank you so much! I will whisper to you later so I hope you will hear me. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Sweet dreams my precious son. Forever with me.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, May 11, 2014
Dear Tyler,
My sweet precious son....Oh where oh where do I start my letter to you tonight. Today was Mother's Day and what a very hard day it was for Mom... to have to go through it without you. I would be lying if I said it was easy. I know I am not the only one who has lost a child ( ren ) or a Mother but I guess I didn't know what to expect of today as it is my very 1st one. My emotions were all over the place. I really just went through my day treating it like a regular Sunday so that I could just get by. I did have several family & friends that sent me messages over FB telling me they were thinking of me on this difficult day. That was so sweet and for a few minutes I didn't feel so alone.
You were and still are the apple of my eye. From the moment you were born you had my heart completely. I was sitting outside today and I was thinking back to all the memories through the years with you. From a new born , to a toddler, to a teenager, to a young man. All the good, bad, and the ugly times we shared together. I remember all the talks, the laughs, the walks, the family gatherings, the vacations that we got to have. It makes me smile to remember all this.
Tyler, I want you to know that I was and am so humble & honored that you chose me to be your Mother and to walk the journey of your life with you. There are so many things that I wish we could have changed but we both know that there wasn't a chance so we did the best we could and gave each other the strength to get by. I wouldn't have changed that for the world. If I could I would do it all over again. I would do it all in a heart beat. Thank you for giving me the gift of unconditional love. You were a teacher to me and so many others on so many levels. I learned so much for you. With all the things Mom has gone through and all that you taught me I am the person I am today. Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I miss you every second, every minute, of every day! I love you with all that I have. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Fly high and fly free my sweet Angel in Heaven.
Sweet dreams pumpkin. Be listening.. I will whisper to you tonight as I always do. Love you...Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
My sweet precious son....Oh where oh where do I start my letter to you tonight. Today was Mother's Day and what a very hard day it was for Mom... to have to go through it without you. I would be lying if I said it was easy. I know I am not the only one who has lost a child ( ren ) or a Mother but I guess I didn't know what to expect of today as it is my very 1st one. My emotions were all over the place. I really just went through my day treating it like a regular Sunday so that I could just get by. I did have several family & friends that sent me messages over FB telling me they were thinking of me on this difficult day. That was so sweet and for a few minutes I didn't feel so alone.
You were and still are the apple of my eye. From the moment you were born you had my heart completely. I was sitting outside today and I was thinking back to all the memories through the years with you. From a new born , to a toddler, to a teenager, to a young man. All the good, bad, and the ugly times we shared together. I remember all the talks, the laughs, the walks, the family gatherings, the vacations that we got to have. It makes me smile to remember all this.
Tyler, I want you to know that I was and am so humble & honored that you chose me to be your Mother and to walk the journey of your life with you. There are so many things that I wish we could have changed but we both know that there wasn't a chance so we did the best we could and gave each other the strength to get by. I wouldn't have changed that for the world. If I could I would do it all over again. I would do it all in a heart beat. Thank you for giving me the gift of unconditional love. You were a teacher to me and so many others on so many levels. I learned so much for you. With all the things Mom has gone through and all that you taught me I am the person I am today. Thank you thank you thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I miss you every second, every minute, of every day! I love you with all that I have. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Fly high and fly free my sweet Angel in Heaven.
Sweet dreams pumpkin. Be listening.. I will whisper to you tonight as I always do. Love you...Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 8, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello to you my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing fine today. A little tired from lack of sleep the last couple nights but other than that I am doing well. Max has been giving Mark & I quite the scare these last few days. He is hardly drinking, has only ate 1 meal in 4 days and just sleeps all the time. Doesn't even move a muscle when Mark gets home from work or when Snicks goes outside. Very unlike him. His breathing has been pretty deep and shallow too. I do not like the looks of the way things are going. I am staying up until the wee hours of the night into the morning to make sure he is breathing and doing ok. Breaks my heart. I had been hand giving him water so he will drink. I don't want him to suffer at all. He is old and has had a wonderful and spoiled life. He is stubborn as all heck but that is 1 reason why I love him so. If he doesn't improve in the next day or so he will be going to the vets. I am so afraid of that because I just feel that if he goes he won't be coming back home with us and that I don't want to think about at this time or right now. Please be with him Ty and let him know it is ok. If he has had enough and wants to go be with you then I understand. I don't want him sick and suffering. He means too much to me to have him go through that. We watch Daisy and Baxter go through all that and I can't bare to see another one suffer. I know you understand what I am saying. Do what you can for him and for me. Thanks Ty!
The weather here is so crappy. I was looking at the next 5 days and it is going to be cloudy and rain until next Tuesday. The temp is suppose to be hot & humid too. In the upper 90's so this will be miserable for all. I guess we need to have the rain. It is very dry here unfortunately. Let it get out of the way in these next several days so that my Birthday is sunny and warm. I want to have a clear night sky so that I can see you shining from the Heavens. That will make my Birthday complete to see you there watching over Mom.
Next Friday.. the 16th.. the day after my Birthday we are moving to our new apartment. We should be completely moved in and settled by that Sunday night. We have it all planned out and everything ready to be switched over and turned on in the new one. Mark & I have a plan as well so we are crossing our fingers that it will all go super smooth and stress free. The idea of moving is blah but the new apartment is so beautiful and bigger for us. We will have more room for family & friends for when they come and visit us here. We are super excited so I guess that is all that matters. I know you will be with us every step of the way and you will be seeing the new apartment and smiling. I know you are really going to like it! I hope you visit us all the time : )
Everything else is going well. Getting to know more of our neighbors and chatting with them now. It is really nice. I hope that it just keeps getting better for us here. As it is we will be here for another 4 years or so. Texas is nice. I know you would love it. Sunny most days, warm just like you like it, and our area is quiet. I wish you were here physically. I know we would have a great time. There is such a wonderful place to go for walks. I think of you when I go walking and picture us together and talking. I miss our times like that. I miss you so much it hurts Mom. I hate this and I get so angry... not at you but at the situation. It just sucks. I am sure you understand. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You still are my everything and always will be.
I hope you have a wonderful evening in Heaven. May it be restful & peaceful for you. I will be whispering to you as I always do so please be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams my precious son. Fly high & fly free. I love you forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello to you my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? Mom is doing fine today. A little tired from lack of sleep the last couple nights but other than that I am doing well. Max has been giving Mark & I quite the scare these last few days. He is hardly drinking, has only ate 1 meal in 4 days and just sleeps all the time. Doesn't even move a muscle when Mark gets home from work or when Snicks goes outside. Very unlike him. His breathing has been pretty deep and shallow too. I do not like the looks of the way things are going. I am staying up until the wee hours of the night into the morning to make sure he is breathing and doing ok. Breaks my heart. I had been hand giving him water so he will drink. I don't want him to suffer at all. He is old and has had a wonderful and spoiled life. He is stubborn as all heck but that is 1 reason why I love him so. If he doesn't improve in the next day or so he will be going to the vets. I am so afraid of that because I just feel that if he goes he won't be coming back home with us and that I don't want to think about at this time or right now. Please be with him Ty and let him know it is ok. If he has had enough and wants to go be with you then I understand. I don't want him sick and suffering. He means too much to me to have him go through that. We watch Daisy and Baxter go through all that and I can't bare to see another one suffer. I know you understand what I am saying. Do what you can for him and for me. Thanks Ty!
The weather here is so crappy. I was looking at the next 5 days and it is going to be cloudy and rain until next Tuesday. The temp is suppose to be hot & humid too. In the upper 90's so this will be miserable for all. I guess we need to have the rain. It is very dry here unfortunately. Let it get out of the way in these next several days so that my Birthday is sunny and warm. I want to have a clear night sky so that I can see you shining from the Heavens. That will make my Birthday complete to see you there watching over Mom.
Next Friday.. the 16th.. the day after my Birthday we are moving to our new apartment. We should be completely moved in and settled by that Sunday night. We have it all planned out and everything ready to be switched over and turned on in the new one. Mark & I have a plan as well so we are crossing our fingers that it will all go super smooth and stress free. The idea of moving is blah but the new apartment is so beautiful and bigger for us. We will have more room for family & friends for when they come and visit us here. We are super excited so I guess that is all that matters. I know you will be with us every step of the way and you will be seeing the new apartment and smiling. I know you are really going to like it! I hope you visit us all the time : )
Everything else is going well. Getting to know more of our neighbors and chatting with them now. It is really nice. I hope that it just keeps getting better for us here. As it is we will be here for another 4 years or so. Texas is nice. I know you would love it. Sunny most days, warm just like you like it, and our area is quiet. I wish you were here physically. I know we would have a great time. There is such a wonderful place to go for walks. I think of you when I go walking and picture us together and talking. I miss our times like that. I miss you so much it hurts Mom. I hate this and I get so angry... not at you but at the situation. It just sucks. I am sure you understand. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You still are my everything and always will be.
I hope you have a wonderful evening in Heaven. May it be restful & peaceful for you. I will be whispering to you as I always do so please be listening for Mom. Sweet dreams my precious son. Fly high & fly free. I love you forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, May 6, 2014
Dear Tyler,
How are you doing my sweet son in the Heavens above? I hope you are doing all that you want and need to on this sunny Tuesday afternoon. Mom is doing well or as well as can be. I just had the opportunity to chat with Grandpa & Great Grammy over the phone. They both are doing well and they both miss you. Everyone talks about you all the time. I talk about you all the time. I miss you like crazy. I guess this week and next week are going to be tough for Mom. This Sunday is Mother's Day and it will be the first one without you. Last year I did not get to see you but we spoke over the telephone as it was the day after Snickers bit me in the face and I didn't want you to see me like I was. I was in a lot of pain but I know we spoke several times throughout the day and that made me feel so much better and closer to you. Then next week is Mom's Birthday. I know you already know this but I have a message from you over Facebook wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me you love me. It will stay there forever! I also have a voice mail from you on my cell phone wishing me a Happy Birthday too. Again.. that will forever stay on my phone so that I can hear your voice telling Mom you love me. There is so much going on right now here for us but it doesn't make me not think of you. I get sad during the day and evenings. I think of you all the time. I look at your pictures constantly and I cry. I know you are always with me and near me but it just isn't the same. I guess I want to be selfish. I love you more than any words can ever say and I miss you so much!
I watched my show last night.. Long Island Medium and I cried as usual. I think it is because every story hits so close to home for me. I think I watch it to hear what Theresa has to say about Spirit and what you do and what you can hear, see, and say. I learned last night that you, as Spirits can hear our thoughts even before we say anything. I know you know that I think of you all the time and always wonder where you are and what you are doing. Knowing these things gives me a sort of comfort. I know you know just how much you are loved by many and how much I love and miss you. Validation is a huge thing for anyone who has lost a loved one. We all need to know that our loved ones are safe and sound and are with us at all times. We need to know that you are watching over us and protecting us. I learn a lot form her show and even though it is hard to watch I really like it. I get a good cry in. I thank you Tyler for all that you do for me still. I thank all of our family and friend Angels that do the same. I love you all and I know you all know this.
Also, Thank you for all the stars in the sky the last few nights. Just a joy to see them and it makes me smile. I whisper to you nightly when I am outside with the pups. I hope you can hear me and all that I say to you. I am enjoying the beautiful night sky right now because the next few days it is going to rain and I know I will not see any stars out. Even so I know you are up there shining down upon us all. I know you are close by and with Mom and others. I will always talk to you so I hope you will be listening out for me.
There is so much more to say to you but I will save it for my next letter. I know you already know these things anyways ; ). I know I have been writing to you every other night but I think I will start to write again every night. It makes me feel closer to you.
I hope your evening will be peaceful and all that you need it to be. I wish you many sweet dreams. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back and all the way around the world forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
How are you doing my sweet son in the Heavens above? I hope you are doing all that you want and need to on this sunny Tuesday afternoon. Mom is doing well or as well as can be. I just had the opportunity to chat with Grandpa & Great Grammy over the phone. They both are doing well and they both miss you. Everyone talks about you all the time. I talk about you all the time. I miss you like crazy. I guess this week and next week are going to be tough for Mom. This Sunday is Mother's Day and it will be the first one without you. Last year I did not get to see you but we spoke over the telephone as it was the day after Snickers bit me in the face and I didn't want you to see me like I was. I was in a lot of pain but I know we spoke several times throughout the day and that made me feel so much better and closer to you. Then next week is Mom's Birthday. I know you already know this but I have a message from you over Facebook wishing me a Happy Birthday and telling me you love me. It will stay there forever! I also have a voice mail from you on my cell phone wishing me a Happy Birthday too. Again.. that will forever stay on my phone so that I can hear your voice telling Mom you love me. There is so much going on right now here for us but it doesn't make me not think of you. I get sad during the day and evenings. I think of you all the time. I look at your pictures constantly and I cry. I know you are always with me and near me but it just isn't the same. I guess I want to be selfish. I love you more than any words can ever say and I miss you so much!
I watched my show last night.. Long Island Medium and I cried as usual. I think it is because every story hits so close to home for me. I think I watch it to hear what Theresa has to say about Spirit and what you do and what you can hear, see, and say. I learned last night that you, as Spirits can hear our thoughts even before we say anything. I know you know that I think of you all the time and always wonder where you are and what you are doing. Knowing these things gives me a sort of comfort. I know you know just how much you are loved by many and how much I love and miss you. Validation is a huge thing for anyone who has lost a loved one. We all need to know that our loved ones are safe and sound and are with us at all times. We need to know that you are watching over us and protecting us. I learn a lot form her show and even though it is hard to watch I really like it. I get a good cry in. I thank you Tyler for all that you do for me still. I thank all of our family and friend Angels that do the same. I love you all and I know you all know this.
Also, Thank you for all the stars in the sky the last few nights. Just a joy to see them and it makes me smile. I whisper to you nightly when I am outside with the pups. I hope you can hear me and all that I say to you. I am enjoying the beautiful night sky right now because the next few days it is going to rain and I know I will not see any stars out. Even so I know you are up there shining down upon us all. I know you are close by and with Mom and others. I will always talk to you so I hope you will be listening out for me.
There is so much more to say to you but I will save it for my next letter. I know you already know these things anyways ; ). I know I have been writing to you every other night but I think I will start to write again every night. It makes me feel closer to you.
I hope your evening will be peaceful and all that you need it to be. I wish you many sweet dreams. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back and all the way around the world forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, May 3, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing on the Saturday night? I hope it is peaceful and relaxing for you! I just went outside to walk the pups and I looked at the sky and it is so beautiful. The crescent moon is so crisp and bright.. you can see the shadow of the moon as if it was going to be full. It is so neat. There are several stars glowing brightly as well. The sky here amazes me.. it is not jet black like in NH...it is a violet blueish color. It is really pretty. I wonder if it is like that because we are closer to the equator??? I asked Mark and that is what he thinks so I will go with that...lol!
Today was just a relaxing and beautiful day here. Did a few things around the house and did some cooking and baking too. It was a warm one though. 86 degrees, sunny, and lots of blue skies. Mark & I looked at a new apartment today. It is directly upstairs from where we are already. It is a bigger place. It has a lot more pros to it and a couple cons. Going to crunch numbers this week to see if it is what we really want. We both really like it so hopefully we can make it happen. If so and all works out we shall be moving either after my birthday or right before our visit back to NH. I will keep you posted!
Heard from Aunt Becky.... Her & John are getting ready to fly home on Monday. They will be in NH on Tuesday afternoon. Please watch over them as they travel. Make sure they are safely back East. Thanks Ty! Spoke to Meme for 2 hours today. She sounds good. Bob was having a good day as well. Keeping my fingers crossed that those days are more and he gets better in time. I know you watch out and watch over them so again I thank you for all you do. I haven't heard from Grandpa in about a week so I will be calling him tomorrow to check in. I am guessing he has been working more hours and staying pretty busy.
Tonight, Mark & I were having dinner outside on our balcony and Snicks was up on the table... he went to grab my food and I was trying to say stop it Snickers and I called him you. Remember how I would always do that? You would laugh and say " Nice Mom ". I had to smile after that but it also made me sad. I miss you so much! I can't believe that in 16 days it will be 11 months. Next month will be 1 year without you here with me. This sucks so much. I try every day to put on the brave face. Some days just really are difficult.
When you get a chance make sure that you & Ron stop in to say Happy Birthday to your Amigo, Jeremy. He is turning 34 years old tomorrow. I will make sure to wish him one as well. He seems to be doing good. When I chat with him I always ask him and he says great because he knows you are with him. I believe that with all my heart! I know you will take care of him just like the rest of your family & friends. You are such a special Angel in Heaven. My special Angel :)
I am going to close this letter for tonight because it is getting late. I love you with all my heart and soul. Too the moon and back and all the way around the world.... Forever!
Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing on the Saturday night? I hope it is peaceful and relaxing for you! I just went outside to walk the pups and I looked at the sky and it is so beautiful. The crescent moon is so crisp and bright.. you can see the shadow of the moon as if it was going to be full. It is so neat. There are several stars glowing brightly as well. The sky here amazes me.. it is not jet black like in NH...it is a violet blueish color. It is really pretty. I wonder if it is like that because we are closer to the equator??? I asked Mark and that is what he thinks so I will go with that...lol!
Today was just a relaxing and beautiful day here. Did a few things around the house and did some cooking and baking too. It was a warm one though. 86 degrees, sunny, and lots of blue skies. Mark & I looked at a new apartment today. It is directly upstairs from where we are already. It is a bigger place. It has a lot more pros to it and a couple cons. Going to crunch numbers this week to see if it is what we really want. We both really like it so hopefully we can make it happen. If so and all works out we shall be moving either after my birthday or right before our visit back to NH. I will keep you posted!
Heard from Aunt Becky.... Her & John are getting ready to fly home on Monday. They will be in NH on Tuesday afternoon. Please watch over them as they travel. Make sure they are safely back East. Thanks Ty! Spoke to Meme for 2 hours today. She sounds good. Bob was having a good day as well. Keeping my fingers crossed that those days are more and he gets better in time. I know you watch out and watch over them so again I thank you for all you do. I haven't heard from Grandpa in about a week so I will be calling him tomorrow to check in. I am guessing he has been working more hours and staying pretty busy.
Tonight, Mark & I were having dinner outside on our balcony and Snicks was up on the table... he went to grab my food and I was trying to say stop it Snickers and I called him you. Remember how I would always do that? You would laugh and say " Nice Mom ". I had to smile after that but it also made me sad. I miss you so much! I can't believe that in 16 days it will be 11 months. Next month will be 1 year without you here with me. This sucks so much. I try every day to put on the brave face. Some days just really are difficult.
When you get a chance make sure that you & Ron stop in to say Happy Birthday to your Amigo, Jeremy. He is turning 34 years old tomorrow. I will make sure to wish him one as well. He seems to be doing good. When I chat with him I always ask him and he says great because he knows you are with him. I believe that with all my heart! I know you will take care of him just like the rest of your family & friends. You are such a special Angel in Heaven. My special Angel :)
I am going to close this letter for tonight because it is getting late. I love you with all my heart and soul. Too the moon and back and all the way around the world.... Forever!
Sweet dreams my precious son. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 1, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you today on this Thursday afternoon? I hope it is all that you ever want it to be and that you are flying high and flying free with all the best and rest of them in the Heavens above. I hope ( and know ) that you are doing all kinds of great things up there in the sky. I am sure you are one busy guy! I have absolutely no doubt in my mind! You were amazing and you always will be. You will forever be in my heart and soul. I miss you bunches Tyler and I love you to the moon and back!
Mom is doing as well as can be expected. Trying to stay busy daily so my mind does not wander. I find if I have time to think I get all emotional and I tend to cry more often. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with letting your feelings show, or cry but I just don't want to constantly do it anymore. I want to live my life for me and for you. I want to do things that I know we both would want. I want to ALWAYS keep your memory alive. I hope that you understand all that I am saying. I think about you all day, every day, I look at your pictures and smile and cry, I talk to you throughout the day and I know I always will. You have and will always be my everything.
I wanted you to know I was watching American Idol last night and one of the guys had to sing " I don't want to miss a thing " and I looked up at your picture on the wall and I started to smile with a tear in the corner of my eye... I remember every time that song came on you would stop and sing it out loud to your hearts content. I closed my eyes last night and I could see you sitting there and I could hear you sing it in my mind. I remember you always said you thought of Ashley on that song. How I wish I could have that time back. How I wish I could hear you sing it out loud right now so I could be right here witnessing it. I know that can not be but I will always have that and so many wonderful years and memories to cherish of you and of you & Mom. Thank you for all the fun and special times we had.
The weather here is beautiful again. Mild humidity but tolerable for the most part. The sun is shining and the skies are blue. I am hoping that when we take the pups for their nightly walks I will get to see the stars shining brightly like I did last night! I look forward to this every evening. I look forward to seeing you shining brightly in the skies above and knowing that you are up there watching over us and our family & friends gives me so much comfort. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the things you do. That's my sweet boy that I love so much!
I hope that you have a wonderful evening and that it is all that it needs to be and all that you want it to be. Give everyone up there hugs for me and tell them I miss them too. I will whisper to you tonight so I hope you will hear Mom. Miss you and love you my sweet precious son. Forever!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you today on this Thursday afternoon? I hope it is all that you ever want it to be and that you are flying high and flying free with all the best and rest of them in the Heavens above. I hope ( and know ) that you are doing all kinds of great things up there in the sky. I am sure you are one busy guy! I have absolutely no doubt in my mind! You were amazing and you always will be. You will forever be in my heart and soul. I miss you bunches Tyler and I love you to the moon and back!
Mom is doing as well as can be expected. Trying to stay busy daily so my mind does not wander. I find if I have time to think I get all emotional and I tend to cry more often. Don't get me wrong there is nothing wrong with letting your feelings show, or cry but I just don't want to constantly do it anymore. I want to live my life for me and for you. I want to do things that I know we both would want. I want to ALWAYS keep your memory alive. I hope that you understand all that I am saying. I think about you all day, every day, I look at your pictures and smile and cry, I talk to you throughout the day and I know I always will. You have and will always be my everything.
I wanted you to know I was watching American Idol last night and one of the guys had to sing " I don't want to miss a thing " and I looked up at your picture on the wall and I started to smile with a tear in the corner of my eye... I remember every time that song came on you would stop and sing it out loud to your hearts content. I closed my eyes last night and I could see you sitting there and I could hear you sing it in my mind. I remember you always said you thought of Ashley on that song. How I wish I could have that time back. How I wish I could hear you sing it out loud right now so I could be right here witnessing it. I know that can not be but I will always have that and so many wonderful years and memories to cherish of you and of you & Mom. Thank you for all the fun and special times we had.
The weather here is beautiful again. Mild humidity but tolerable for the most part. The sun is shining and the skies are blue. I am hoping that when we take the pups for their nightly walks I will get to see the stars shining brightly like I did last night! I look forward to this every evening. I look forward to seeing you shining brightly in the skies above and knowing that you are up there watching over us and our family & friends gives me so much comfort. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for all the things you do. That's my sweet boy that I love so much!
I hope that you have a wonderful evening and that it is all that it needs to be and all that you want it to be. Give everyone up there hugs for me and tell them I miss them too. I will whisper to you tonight so I hope you will hear Mom. Miss you and love you my sweet precious son. Forever!!!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
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