Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I hope that you are so happy & you are smiling your cheshire smile to all that can see you. Mom is doing ok. I just don't know what is going on with me. I am in some kind of funk that I can't seem to get out of since we moved. The weather is playing a very big part to it but I am not sure what else though. I just don't ever want to do anything anymore. I don't even want to cook or bake. Everything seems like it is a huge task even when it really isn't. I hope this goes away really quickly because even though I am aware of it I am not liking it one dang bit. The weather again is crappy. It is yet again snowing. We are suppose to be getting at least another 6" today & over the weekend we are in for another big storm that will leave us with 12 - 18" more inches. This is just nuts. There is no where to put it as the temps are not warm enough to melt any of what we already have so it just keeps piling up higher & higher. Mom & Mark were suppose to go home to NH for a visit this weekend but no chance in that now. It makes me sad but I don't want to drive in the snowy weather. We are shooting for next weekend now. We wanted to be there on Monday as Bob is finally having his surgery. We wanted to give Meme support. It might be ok that day so we may go up there & at least be with her for a few hours. I know what it is like being at the hospital alone. I did it many times with you. I wish that on no one. Please do all you can on your side for Meme & Bob. I spoke to Meme last night & she is just so stressed out. She is angry at the situation, extremely tired & work is not helping her. Bob just seems to be getting worse now. I really hope that this procedure can help him out. Thank you Tyler for doing all you can & being with them. It means so much to me.
 Yesterday was your Dad's Birthday. I hope that you went & visited him for a bit. I know he would really like that. I haven't spoken to him in several months now. He used to text me every once in awhile to see how I was but nothing lately. I know he is working again so that is good. I am sure you look in on him, Amy, Orion, & Emma as much as you can. He misses you so much too just like the rest of your family & friends, but not as much as Mom does. I miss you like crazy. I think of you all the time. Curious to what you do, where you are, who you see, etc... I talk to you all the time. Do you ever here Mom? I really hope you do. I love you so much...to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Always remember this. It will never change!
 I have a couple daily prayers to write to you & catch up on. Here is the one from February 10~ No one has greater love than this, to lay down one's life for one's friends. God, they say you get by with a little help from your friends, & I know that to be true. Thank you for filling my life & my days with good friends who care about me. Each one is like an angel sent down from heaven in human form, & I cherish them all. So today I ask that you keep my friendships strong & true, no matter how much time & distance may separate us as we all live our lives. Keep them close where it counts----in my heart. Thank you. A true friend is the greatest of all blessings. I am so fortunate to have many many friends in my life. I love them all & love them like family. Thank you for blessing me with so many that care & love me back.
 February 11~ Therefore love truth & peace. Lord, we often think of peace as something that comes when we're ready, when our hands are folded & our minds quiet. But with your love & presence are in all things of this world, the loud & the quiet, the raging river as well as the silent pond. You are everywhere, & it is as likely to hear you on a bustling city street as it is in the isolated silence of a redwood forest. Please remind me that I can find your peace anywhere if my eyes are open & my heart is willing. Amen.
 February 12~ The Lord bless you & keep you; the Lord make his face to shine upon you, & be gracious to you; the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, & give you peace. Almighty God, Help me open my heart to all the blessings you have offered me. I go through life numb, blind, & deaf, unable to sense what you have placed in front of me. Please help me raise my eyes from the ground & instead focus them on the world around me, taking in all of your creations & appreciating them for what they are---testaments of your love for me & all humankind. God's divine essence is evident in the eyes of a believer. 
 I am once again finally caught up with the daily prayers for you. I keep saying that I am going to do this regularly but I don't. I feel awful that I keep breaking my promise to you but it is just the funk that I am in. Please forgive me, Tyler as I have never broken any promises to you before. Please help me with whatever is going on. I need you with me in my life right now & always. Thank you.
 I don't think I will be seeing the stars or moon again tonight as the sky is gray & very cloudy. Regardless, as always, I will whisper to you. Please listen for Mom's voice. I know you are shining brightly wherever you may be & whatever you are doing. I know someone is seeing it even when I can't. I miss you pumpkin. I hope that you have a wonderful, peaceful evening tonight. May you have many sweet dreams & may Mom see you in my own dreams as well. You are forever in my mind, heart, & soul. I love you my sweet precious son.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!