Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today on this Saturday afternoon? Happy Valentine's Day to you in the Heavens above. Mom is having a rough time the last couple days as you already know. I am not sure how to make things better or if they really can. I know you are watching over me & you are greatly disappointed in both Mom & Mark. I am truly sorry & I hope that you do forgive me because I don't know if I can forgive myself or Mark. Things are just really tough & just seem to be getting worse by the minute. It sucks but I am just keeping quiet so that I can just get through the days. The weather is back at it again. We are in another blizzard warning for today through Monday morning. We could get another 12" to 24" of snow & winds up to 70 mph. This one is going to be tough. I am hoping that it will not be as bad as the weathermen are predicting. That would be nice. Either way I have been praying that the power doesn't go out because the temps are suppose to be so cold...zero to below zero. It started snowing around 3pm.... right on schedule for what they said would happen. At this point I don't think that we are ever going to see Spring. 
 I am sorry that I didn't get to write to you yesterday. I tried & wanted to but my computer had other plans. It crashed & Mark stayed up until 3am this morning fixing it. That was nice of him but I really don't think he did it for Mom...he did it because this is the only computer we have right now & he needs it more than me. I could be wrong but I sure to have my doubts. Anyways.... 
 Yesterday was Friday the 13th....I thought of you & how you would always do the" Jason theme" to Mom & would freak me out. Yesterday I smiled at that & laughed. I sure do miss your sense of humor. I miss you scaring me. I miss everything about you. I hope that you behaved & that you didn't scare anyone yesterday or you didn't play any jokes on anyone, but if I know you, you did to at least 1 person...lol! 
 I will try to write to you tomorrow but if I don't it will be because of the storm we are getting so I will have to write on Monday. I just wanted you to know that. I know you understand & I don't need to explain myself but it helps me & makes me feel better when I do.
 So as I said above...today is Valentine's Day. I would always ask you to be my valentine & you would always say yes! You will always be my one true love. You will always be the only one that will truly have my heart 100%. No one else....ever. Today has been quite the opposite of what I thought it would be. I was hoping that Mark would be romantic as it is our 1st Valentine's as a married couple. I thought maybe I would get flowers, a card, or at least something but given the circumstances & what is going on I got nothing. I didn't even get him wishing me a Happy Valentine's Day. It hurt Mom a great deal but whatever... I will get over it...just not today. I came across the picture of you & I with the red roses that you gave me for the last Valentine's we were together. It made me smile to remember but I cried too. I hate not seeing you or being with you. I hate that you are gone. I try to stay positive for the most part but again...today is just not one of those days.
 I have the 2 daily prayers to write to you so let me start them now. February 13~ [ Jesus ] said to the woman, " Your faith has saved you; go in peace. " Lord, bring peace to my heart & rest to my soul. These trying times leaves me anxious & worried for my future & for those I love. I am struggling to find a sense of inner calm & ask for the peace that passes all understanding, the peace your love & grace can bring. I ask this not just for me but also for all those who long for calm in the storms of life. Peace be to us all. Amen.
 February 14~ For we are the aroma of Christ to God among those who are being saved. The love you give me, God, can carry me through my life. I have no need for anything else, for with your love comes the kingdom & all that it offers. Your love is like the most priceless riches, a treasure trove that never ends. It always provides me with everything I need to be happy, healthy, & free. I depend on your love, & I share that love with those I come in contact with, knowing that as I give, I shall receive more. Your love is my treasure, God. Thank you. Amen. What we love we shall grow to resemble. 
 How did you like those prayers? The 1st one really hit home for Mom because of everything that is going on. I have been really upset with it, but last night when I couldn't sleep I finally said that I was giving it & letting God do what was suppose to happen. I was giving it to God to handle. I finally fell asleep at 4am. I am still doing that... I am just really hurt & I know you know why.
 The night sky is almost upon us. I did get to see the stars last night. That was a very nice surprise. Tonight, I won't be so lucky. The sky is just all gray & clouds. It is really snowing now & coming down sideways because of the wind. I know you will be shining brightly though. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for Mom's voice & that you can hear me. I hope that you have a wonderful night with many sweet dreams. I hope to sleep better tonight & see you in mine. I love you, Tyler. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you so much. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. Tyler, will you be my one & only Valentine?