Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday night? Mom has had a little better day than yesterday but not by much. I know that you hear, see & know all now so I know you know what I am talking about. No need to go into details for you. The whole thing just sucks & hurts. I am so tired of hearing so many different things & then people say " oh I never said that. " It is all BS & I am so done with it all. I know what people say to me & I remember it very well. I am sick of hearing that I don't know what I am talking about. It is not my fault & some are going to find out really hard that they will loose at this with me. I know that you will be with me during these times & that is all that matters to Mom. 
 The weather today was so nice. It was partly sunny & in the 50's. Not the best but it could be a lot worse during this time of the year. Can't believe that it will be Halloween in 4 days. Guess it will be interesting as it is also a full moon that night...lol! This will be the 1st year in 4 that we will get the chance to hand out candy directly to the kids. Hope we get some! Mom misses taking you out. It was always so cold & I remember one time it was snowing. Ugh! I smile at the thought of the costumes that you had. Do you remember them all? You were a pumpkin, a fire dog, a dragon, TMNT, power ranger 2 years in a row, a pirate, a vampire, red M&M, Jack Skellington & also Jig Saw from the Saw movies. I think I got most of them. That was at least 11 years worth. Pretty good memory huh? 
 No updates for you tonight. I only spoke to my instructor for my college today for awhile. This lesson that I am doing is brutal & Mom is having a hard time with it. I need to contact them again tomorrow as well as I am still having a hard time. One lesson after this one & I take my final exam. Wish me luck! 
 Please watch over us all. Mom really needs you & so does the rest of the family. Mom did chat with Megan today online. She is having a difficult time with some family members & her little boy is having a hard time. I know you watch over them all but if you can help her out in any way that would be great. I am sure she would appreciate it a great deal. Soothe her son so that he gets sleep & so does she. It is mostly her taking care of him because her BF works a lot of hours. She is tired. Mom knows how that feels. It is hard. I always said that parenting needs to come with a book of instructions. You learn as you go as a 1st time parent. You make mistakes along the way but you correct them so they don't happen again. Lord knows, & so don't you now that I made my share of them through the years. I hope that no matter what I did you proud. I tried to be the best that I could be & know how to be a good Mom to you. You were my world & you always will be. I love you so much my sweet precious son. Unconditional...forever! 
 Here is your daily prayer for tonight. October 27~ Many O Lord my God, are thy wonderful works which thou hast done, & thy thoughts which are to us--- word: they cannot be reckoned up in order unto thee: if I would declare & speak of them, they are more than can be numbered. Lord, speak to me through these pages. let me hear your gentle words. Come whispering through the ages & thundering through the world. Teach me how to please you, Show me how to live. Inspire me to praise you. For all the love you give. Amen.
 The evening sky is upon us now. Hope the stars will be out night along with the moon. If not, it doesn't really matter because I will be whispering to you as i always do. Be listening out for Mom. I hope that your night is all you want & need it to be. Get some rest & have the sweetest of dreams. Hope to see you in my own tonight too. I miss you, Tyler. I love you.
 You are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!