Sunday, January 31, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I am sure that you are doing all that you want & need to wherever you may be. There is no doubt in my mind. Mom's day started out pretty good. Did some housework this morning, gave the puppies a bath, took them for a walk later & did some reorganization as well. This afternoon Mark went out for a bit & ran a couple errands because Mom was not feeling good. I was chilly, was really light headed & dizzy. I know that you saw Mom & you were there with me. I made dinner & started pounding the water & I am feeling better now. Thanks for being near me. I love knowing that you never leave my side. It means so much to me but I know you know that as well because you can feel it. Thank you my sweet precious son.
The weather today was so beautiful. It was over 50 degrees & it was partly sunny. So nice. People were out enjoying the nice Spring like weather. Some were running, walking their dogs, or just walking in general & some were throwing a football around. I wished that I had felt better because I would have been out longer. This week it is suppose to have a couple days almost in the 60's. It says rain but Mom is hoping that one day it won't so that I will be able to take the pups for a long walk again. Can't wait until Spring. Someone says we have 49 days. Seems unreal as time is just flying by. Can't believe that tomorrow is already February 1st. This week Meme & Princess have Birthdays. They share the same day... how sweet is that? I thought it was meant to be when I heard her Birthday when we picked her up. It was special indeed. She is such a sweetheart. I know you would have loved her & always would have yelled at Ozzy for being a little sh*t...lol. I know you are seeing them from where you are & I am so sure that you are smiling away. Hope that you are watching over Daisey, Ziggy, Max, Snickers, Snapples for Mom. Can you give them big hugs & kisses & tell them I love & miss them. Thank you pumpkin.
Mom surprisingly does not have any updates for you tonight either. Didn't hear from anyone yesterday or today. We have a skype call in a few minutes so I will have some updates for you tomorrow. I will definitely touch base with Aunt Beck as her & John leave a week from today & I am sure that I will chat with Meme tomorrow. She usually calls Mom during her lunch break. That is nice that I get to chat with her daily. Debbie starts her new job tomorrow as well. Lots going on. Mark will be traveling in another week for a few days & during that time Mom will be having a friend come & visit. Should be fun. I am really looking forward to it. We have a few things planned while she is here. I am sure that there will be plenty of laughs, eating & wine...lol. Think that is all for now.
Here is the daily pray for today. January 31~ And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, & crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them & not forsake them. Lord, how grateful I am that you are willing to go before me to prepare the way. Even when I sense that a new opportunity is from you & has your blessing. I've learned I still need to stop & ask you to lead before I take the first step. Otherwise I will stumble along in the dark tripping over stones of my own creation! Everything goes more smoothly when we are involved, Lord. Amen.
While Mom is typing this I am listening to music as I usually do & there is a song that just came on that I played the day of your funeral. Are you with me right now? I am looking at your picture & staring at it.... oh how I can't believe that you have been gone for almost 3 years. My heart breaks more & more each day. It is not getting easier it is only getting harder for Mom. Tonight when I publish my letter to you, one of the pics that I will be posting is the poem that Ron wrote for you. I have never posted it on here before but today seems like a good day to do just that. Mom misses you both so much. Give Ron big hugs & kisses from " Momma T ." Thanks Ty.
The evening sky is upon us now. Mom is hoping that the sky is clear so that I can see the stars & moon shining bright. Last night I couldn't see anything as the sky turned cloudy. Doesn't matter though because Mom will whisper to you like I do each & every night. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear it. Mom hopes that you night is all that you need it to be. May it be peaceful & restful. If I know you still you are just like lightning...fast as ever! Slow down a bit & get some rest if you can. Have sweet dreams & come see Mom in my own dreams tonight. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you more than words can ever say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Truly you are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? I am sure that you are doing all that you want & need to wherever you may be. There is no doubt in my mind. Mom's day started out pretty good. Did some housework this morning, gave the puppies a bath, took them for a walk later & did some reorganization as well. This afternoon Mark went out for a bit & ran a couple errands because Mom was not feeling good. I was chilly, was really light headed & dizzy. I know that you saw Mom & you were there with me. I made dinner & started pounding the water & I am feeling better now. Thanks for being near me. I love knowing that you never leave my side. It means so much to me but I know you know that as well because you can feel it. Thank you my sweet precious son.
The weather today was so beautiful. It was over 50 degrees & it was partly sunny. So nice. People were out enjoying the nice Spring like weather. Some were running, walking their dogs, or just walking in general & some were throwing a football around. I wished that I had felt better because I would have been out longer. This week it is suppose to have a couple days almost in the 60's. It says rain but Mom is hoping that one day it won't so that I will be able to take the pups for a long walk again. Can't wait until Spring. Someone says we have 49 days. Seems unreal as time is just flying by. Can't believe that tomorrow is already February 1st. This week Meme & Princess have Birthdays. They share the same day... how sweet is that? I thought it was meant to be when I heard her Birthday when we picked her up. It was special indeed. She is such a sweetheart. I know you would have loved her & always would have yelled at Ozzy for being a little sh*t...lol. I know you are seeing them from where you are & I am so sure that you are smiling away. Hope that you are watching over Daisey, Ziggy, Max, Snickers, Snapples for Mom. Can you give them big hugs & kisses & tell them I love & miss them. Thank you pumpkin.
Mom surprisingly does not have any updates for you tonight either. Didn't hear from anyone yesterday or today. We have a skype call in a few minutes so I will have some updates for you tomorrow. I will definitely touch base with Aunt Beck as her & John leave a week from today & I am sure that I will chat with Meme tomorrow. She usually calls Mom during her lunch break. That is nice that I get to chat with her daily. Debbie starts her new job tomorrow as well. Lots going on. Mark will be traveling in another week for a few days & during that time Mom will be having a friend come & visit. Should be fun. I am really looking forward to it. We have a few things planned while she is here. I am sure that there will be plenty of laughs, eating & wine...lol. Think that is all for now.
Here is the daily pray for today. January 31~ And I will bring the blind by a way that they knew not; I will lead them in paths that they have not known: I will make darkness light before them, & crooked things straight. These things will I do unto them & not forsake them. Lord, how grateful I am that you are willing to go before me to prepare the way. Even when I sense that a new opportunity is from you & has your blessing. I've learned I still need to stop & ask you to lead before I take the first step. Otherwise I will stumble along in the dark tripping over stones of my own creation! Everything goes more smoothly when we are involved, Lord. Amen.
While Mom is typing this I am listening to music as I usually do & there is a song that just came on that I played the day of your funeral. Are you with me right now? I am looking at your picture & staring at it.... oh how I can't believe that you have been gone for almost 3 years. My heart breaks more & more each day. It is not getting easier it is only getting harder for Mom. Tonight when I publish my letter to you, one of the pics that I will be posting is the poem that Ron wrote for you. I have never posted it on here before but today seems like a good day to do just that. Mom misses you both so much. Give Ron big hugs & kisses from " Momma T ." Thanks Ty.
The evening sky is upon us now. Mom is hoping that the sky is clear so that I can see the stars & moon shining bright. Last night I couldn't see anything as the sky turned cloudy. Doesn't matter though because Mom will whisper to you like I do each & every night. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear it. Mom hopes that you night is all that you need it to be. May it be peaceful & restful. If I know you still you are just like lightning...fast as ever! Slow down a bit & get some rest if you can. Have sweet dreams & come see Mom in my own dreams tonight. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you more than words can ever say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Truly you are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is doing so much better today as I got a lot of sleep last night. I am sure that you were with me to make that happen. Thank you so much. It was much needed. The sun is setting right now in the sky & it was a really pretty one tonight. The sky was mixed with pale blue, pale pink, yellow & pale orange. I posted the picture on facebook saying that you knew Mom loved sunsets & I would like to believe that you were up there painting it for Mom to see. I believe that, Ty. You knew Mom so well....sometimes better than I knew myself. The weather today was so nice. It was in the high 40's. Reached 50 degrees today for a short bit but tomorrow it will be sunny & in the 50's along with a couple days this week that will hit almost 60 degrees. I will take it for it will be the beginning of February. There is a nasty storm that is in the West & Central United States right now. We will not see any of it except for maybe some rain here & there. The temps are so mild that when I think about it, it is pretty scary.
Today Mom & Mark went out to run errands. Mark got a haircut while Mom went looking around in a couple of her favorite stores. From there we had to do some grocery shopping & then decided to go have a late lunch, early dinner. When we were there we were seated behind a man, his wife & their daughter. She couldn't have been anymore than 2 years old, maybe 2 1/2 at the most but she was so cute. Mom found herself watching her play with her stuffed animals at the window. She had a little container that had celery sticks & other veggies so that she could feed her unicorns & 2 horses. I found myself smiling & seeing the innocence of a child. I started to think about you being that small again & how you were. You were such a wonderful child just like she was. No yelling or screaming going on. You used to be so content with your toys too. That moment just took me back in time. It was nice to go that far back with you. It was nice to smile at the memories that were going on in my mind. Just thought that Mom would share that with you. Hope it makes you smile as well. God how I miss that smile pumpkin. I miss you like crazy. I love you even more. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
I don't really have any updates for you. Chatted with Debbie today. She said all is well with her & Grandpa. I asked about Grammy... they said she was doing ok. Holding her own is the best we can ask right now. Aunt Shirley keeps me updated regularly & I really appreciate it a great deal. Didn't speak to Meme or Aunt Beck but that will be a plan of Mom's for tomorrow along with a skype call in the evening. I know you watch over us all the time & that means so much to Mom & the rest of our family & friends. Thank you my sweet precious son. Thank you for all you do & can do now. It makes me beam with pride of all that I know of what you are doing where you are.
Mom talked about you today but that is nothing new as I talk about you to everyone that I can. This man lives in Australia....cool huh? He seems like a nice " mate " as they would say over there...lol. I was originally talking to him about one of my friends that he was dating, Things kinda went sour with them & he reached out to me to try & help from this side of the world. I was more than happy to as she is a very sweet friend & I hate that she is hurting so much right now. Somehow we started chatting about life in general & I mentioned you. It was so refreshing to talk about you for a little bit. I love doing that. I will always love talking about you. You need to know that you are missed by so many family & friends. There are friends of mine that tell me all the time to say hello but I know that I don't need to because, like I have said before you already know these things. You know who thinks about you, who talks about you, who loves you, etc... you know all now.
Here is the daily prayer for today. January 30~ Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, & find grace to help in time of need. Everything looks much brighter than it did before. My prayer for strength has been answered. My cries for help have been heard. My pleas for mercy flew directly to your throne. Now I'm ready to help my neighbor, Lord. Let me not delay. Amen.
We as you know the sun was setting when Mom started this letter & it is now completely night fall. The sky seems to be remain clear so that means Mom should be seeing the moon & stars shining brightly tonight. No matter what, Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear me when I talk to you. May your evening be all that you need & want it to be. May you have the chance to slow down & relax. If so just close your eyes & have the sweetest of dreams. Come see Mom in my dreams tonight when it is time for me to fall asleep. Thanks Ty. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my everything now & forever. Always Mom's Hero & my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is doing so much better today as I got a lot of sleep last night. I am sure that you were with me to make that happen. Thank you so much. It was much needed. The sun is setting right now in the sky & it was a really pretty one tonight. The sky was mixed with pale blue, pale pink, yellow & pale orange. I posted the picture on facebook saying that you knew Mom loved sunsets & I would like to believe that you were up there painting it for Mom to see. I believe that, Ty. You knew Mom so well....sometimes better than I knew myself. The weather today was so nice. It was in the high 40's. Reached 50 degrees today for a short bit but tomorrow it will be sunny & in the 50's along with a couple days this week that will hit almost 60 degrees. I will take it for it will be the beginning of February. There is a nasty storm that is in the West & Central United States right now. We will not see any of it except for maybe some rain here & there. The temps are so mild that when I think about it, it is pretty scary.
Today Mom & Mark went out to run errands. Mark got a haircut while Mom went looking around in a couple of her favorite stores. From there we had to do some grocery shopping & then decided to go have a late lunch, early dinner. When we were there we were seated behind a man, his wife & their daughter. She couldn't have been anymore than 2 years old, maybe 2 1/2 at the most but she was so cute. Mom found herself watching her play with her stuffed animals at the window. She had a little container that had celery sticks & other veggies so that she could feed her unicorns & 2 horses. I found myself smiling & seeing the innocence of a child. I started to think about you being that small again & how you were. You were such a wonderful child just like she was. No yelling or screaming going on. You used to be so content with your toys too. That moment just took me back in time. It was nice to go that far back with you. It was nice to smile at the memories that were going on in my mind. Just thought that Mom would share that with you. Hope it makes you smile as well. God how I miss that smile pumpkin. I miss you like crazy. I love you even more. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
I don't really have any updates for you. Chatted with Debbie today. She said all is well with her & Grandpa. I asked about Grammy... they said she was doing ok. Holding her own is the best we can ask right now. Aunt Shirley keeps me updated regularly & I really appreciate it a great deal. Didn't speak to Meme or Aunt Beck but that will be a plan of Mom's for tomorrow along with a skype call in the evening. I know you watch over us all the time & that means so much to Mom & the rest of our family & friends. Thank you my sweet precious son. Thank you for all you do & can do now. It makes me beam with pride of all that I know of what you are doing where you are.
Mom talked about you today but that is nothing new as I talk about you to everyone that I can. This man lives in Australia....cool huh? He seems like a nice " mate " as they would say over there...lol. I was originally talking to him about one of my friends that he was dating, Things kinda went sour with them & he reached out to me to try & help from this side of the world. I was more than happy to as she is a very sweet friend & I hate that she is hurting so much right now. Somehow we started chatting about life in general & I mentioned you. It was so refreshing to talk about you for a little bit. I love doing that. I will always love talking about you. You need to know that you are missed by so many family & friends. There are friends of mine that tell me all the time to say hello but I know that I don't need to because, like I have said before you already know these things. You know who thinks about you, who talks about you, who loves you, etc... you know all now.
Here is the daily prayer for today. January 30~ Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, & find grace to help in time of need. Everything looks much brighter than it did before. My prayer for strength has been answered. My cries for help have been heard. My pleas for mercy flew directly to your throne. Now I'm ready to help my neighbor, Lord. Let me not delay. Amen.
We as you know the sun was setting when Mom started this letter & it is now completely night fall. The sky seems to be remain clear so that means Mom should be seeing the moon & stars shining brightly tonight. No matter what, Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you can hear me when I talk to you. May your evening be all that you need & want it to be. May you have the chance to slow down & relax. If so just close your eyes & have the sweetest of dreams. Come see Mom in my dreams tonight when it is time for me to fall asleep. Thanks Ty. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my everything now & forever. Always Mom's Hero & my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, January 29, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Friday night? Mom's day has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Last night things were not really that great for me so I tried to suppress everything & tried not to think about it. That is how I got through my night. This morning I woke up & still felt so sad of the events that had taken place the day before. I have come to realize the older I get the more I analyze everything in depth & I am so hard on myself. I have learned that I over think things that I think will or would hurt me. I have learned that communication is the key to every situation that takes place in life whether it is a marriage, a relationship, a friendship, etc....without communication one can only assume & if that happens then the one assuming may be completely wrong. It can get confusing. I guess the bottom line of this learning experience is Mom still has a lot to learn in this life & I will continue to do my best with what I have. I know that you are with me & watching over me on a daily basis. Thank you so much as I need you my sweet precious son. Please keep Mom in line & keep me on the straight & narrow road instead of swerving all our the place. Thanks Ty.
Mom does not have a single update for you today. Didn't talk to anyone in our family but I am sure that I will have some for you during the weekend. I do have a daily prayer for you though. So here it is. January 29~ And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, & hath given himself for us an offering & a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour. God, you gave up your own beloved son for me. How could I possibly love with such a sense of sacrifice? Help me be the kind of person who can put the needs of others before my own. Help me give until it hurts. You have sacrificed for me----now let me give of myself in return. I know that in the end, I will be rewarded with your merciful grace. Amen.
The night sky is upon us now & the weather is really crappy. It is snow, sleet & freezing rain. Don't think that I will be seeing the moon & stars shining bright tonight but that is ok I know you are shining bright for someone who really needs it. That makes Mom smile. Don't worry my sweet son I will be whispering to you as I always do so make sure you listen for my voice.
I hope that you have a peaceful & restful night. May it be all that you need & want it to be. Hope you get a chance to get some rest if that is what you do. Sweet dreams & come visit Mom tonight in my own dreams. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Remember that you will always be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & you are Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Friday night? Mom's day has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. Last night things were not really that great for me so I tried to suppress everything & tried not to think about it. That is how I got through my night. This morning I woke up & still felt so sad of the events that had taken place the day before. I have come to realize the older I get the more I analyze everything in depth & I am so hard on myself. I have learned that I over think things that I think will or would hurt me. I have learned that communication is the key to every situation that takes place in life whether it is a marriage, a relationship, a friendship, etc....without communication one can only assume & if that happens then the one assuming may be completely wrong. It can get confusing. I guess the bottom line of this learning experience is Mom still has a lot to learn in this life & I will continue to do my best with what I have. I know that you are with me & watching over me on a daily basis. Thank you so much as I need you my sweet precious son. Please keep Mom in line & keep me on the straight & narrow road instead of swerving all our the place. Thanks Ty.
Mom does not have a single update for you today. Didn't talk to anyone in our family but I am sure that I will have some for you during the weekend. I do have a daily prayer for you though. So here it is. January 29~ And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, & hath given himself for us an offering & a sacrifice to God for a sweet smelling savour. God, you gave up your own beloved son for me. How could I possibly love with such a sense of sacrifice? Help me be the kind of person who can put the needs of others before my own. Help me give until it hurts. You have sacrificed for me----now let me give of myself in return. I know that in the end, I will be rewarded with your merciful grace. Amen.
The night sky is upon us now & the weather is really crappy. It is snow, sleet & freezing rain. Don't think that I will be seeing the moon & stars shining bright tonight but that is ok I know you are shining bright for someone who really needs it. That makes Mom smile. Don't worry my sweet son I will be whispering to you as I always do so make sure you listen for my voice.
I hope that you have a peaceful & restful night. May it be all that you need & want it to be. Hope you get a chance to get some rest if that is what you do. Sweet dreams & come visit Mom tonight in my own dreams. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Remember that you will always be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & you are Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, January 28, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? The sun is shining here where Mom is & the day is really beautiful. Mom is feeling a lot better today...not 100% but alot better as I did get some sleep last night. Took the pups out for a walk today. They were enjoying the time outside. The snow that we got the last 2 storms is almost all gone now & Mom is loving that part! You & I were so much alike... we hated the snow. We didn't mind the cold as much just the snow prevented us from doing so many things together. Mom will never wallow in the things we didn't get to do because there was so much & so many things & places that we did get to go to & see together. Mom has always cherished the time we did have & I always will. People can take everything & anything away from me but the one thing they can't take away & that are the most precious to me are the memories I have of you & I. The memories is what I hold onto every day of my life now. They are what makes me get up & start a new day. I know I was the strength that you needed when you were here in the physical world & now it is reversed... you are my strength to keep going when I don't think I can anymore. You are & always will be the most important person in my life. We will always remain connected & bonded to one another. I know in my heart that that will never change. Thank you so much for being with Mom. I have been told that you never leave my side & I can believe that completely. That sounds like you as you never wanted to leave Mom. You were to afraid to. Just know that Mom is doing ok. I have my days that are tough but I also have my good days. The roller coaster ride will always be there. It is a part of grieving Mother when she looses her child. I am trying Tyler, I really am. Just have more patience with me. Someday I will get it, but just not today.
Mom was talking to a very good friend of mine today. He tells me quite a few times to tell you he said hello but I know I don't need to because you can see all & you know all! He was saying that this morning he read my letter that I wrote to you last night. He said that it was touching. He also liked the picture of you & Mom that I have on here. He said that it brought tears to his eyes. When he said that.. Mom instantly went to that picture & I had tears in my eyes...I silently said..." yeah I know the feeling. " God, I miss you so much Tyler. I miss everything about you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your laughter, our conversations that we would have, I miss it all. Nothing is the same anymore. The day you died is the day that Mom did to. I am not the same person as I once was. I am different & I will never be the same again. Oh I have tried many of times but nothing works. For you, I will continue to go on so that you can see me smile & laugh. Anything for you my sweet precious son.
Mom doesn't have any updates for you as it has been a quiet afternoon. I am sure that Grandpa will call later as he called last night but we did not chat for a long time due to Mom not feeling good. Meme usually calls me on her lunch break daily but she didn't today so I will touch base with her tonight as well. Tomorrow i plan on calling Aunt beck as they are a week out for leaving to travel to South America. She is really excited this time to be going. She will be working on getting many of things accomplished there so she can bring them back to the States for the partnership that she is involved in. Mom is so happy for her. I know you are watching over all of us. Mom knows you do this daily & it means the world to me. Thank you!
Well, I have a couple daily prayers to catch up on right now so here they are. January 27~ Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hand: happy shalt thou be & it shall be well with thee. Join us at work, Lord & in our insecurities about it; getting to & from it; in our triumphs & masteries over it; & short cuts & temptations through it. Work, amazingly, is where we spend most of our time. Amen.
January 28~But seek ye first the kingdom of God, & his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the marrow: for the marrow shall take thought for the things of itself. I'm getting a crick in my neck trying to see around the bend, God of past & future. I'm wearing myself out second guessing. Teach me to live in today, needing just a small glimpse down the road. No need to borrow trouble that may not be waiting. Amen.
Well, I am all caught up again. The sky today is blue & no clouds in it at all. It is hard to believe that this is the end of January with the weather we are having. I know tomorrow will be a crappy day as it says we will be getting snow, sleet & freezing rain all day but again after that the weather looks good...so good that a couple of days will hit over 50 degrees. Mom will take it! Tonight I am hoping that when the the evening sky is upon us the sky will be clear & I will get to see the stars shining bright & perhaps the moon as well. Either way, Mom will be whispering to you as I do each & every night. Hope you will be listening for my voice. Hope when & if you hear it, it will make you smile that smile I love so much.
I hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. I know you will be shining bright for someone who really needs it. I hope you get a chance to slow down though & get some rest if that is what you do wherever you are. Mom wishes you the sweetest of dreams. Come visit me in my own dreams when it is time for me to close my eyes & fall asleep. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. More than words can say. I miss you like crazy. Always always remember that you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. You are my Hero & you will always be the Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? The sun is shining here where Mom is & the day is really beautiful. Mom is feeling a lot better today...not 100% but alot better as I did get some sleep last night. Took the pups out for a walk today. They were enjoying the time outside. The snow that we got the last 2 storms is almost all gone now & Mom is loving that part! You & I were so much alike... we hated the snow. We didn't mind the cold as much just the snow prevented us from doing so many things together. Mom will never wallow in the things we didn't get to do because there was so much & so many things & places that we did get to go to & see together. Mom has always cherished the time we did have & I always will. People can take everything & anything away from me but the one thing they can't take away & that are the most precious to me are the memories I have of you & I. The memories is what I hold onto every day of my life now. They are what makes me get up & start a new day. I know I was the strength that you needed when you were here in the physical world & now it is reversed... you are my strength to keep going when I don't think I can anymore. You are & always will be the most important person in my life. We will always remain connected & bonded to one another. I know in my heart that that will never change. Thank you so much for being with Mom. I have been told that you never leave my side & I can believe that completely. That sounds like you as you never wanted to leave Mom. You were to afraid to. Just know that Mom is doing ok. I have my days that are tough but I also have my good days. The roller coaster ride will always be there. It is a part of grieving Mother when she looses her child. I am trying Tyler, I really am. Just have more patience with me. Someday I will get it, but just not today.
Mom was talking to a very good friend of mine today. He tells me quite a few times to tell you he said hello but I know I don't need to because you can see all & you know all! He was saying that this morning he read my letter that I wrote to you last night. He said that it was touching. He also liked the picture of you & Mom that I have on here. He said that it brought tears to his eyes. When he said that.. Mom instantly went to that picture & I had tears in my eyes...I silently said..." yeah I know the feeling. " God, I miss you so much Tyler. I miss everything about you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your laughter, our conversations that we would have, I miss it all. Nothing is the same anymore. The day you died is the day that Mom did to. I am not the same person as I once was. I am different & I will never be the same again. Oh I have tried many of times but nothing works. For you, I will continue to go on so that you can see me smile & laugh. Anything for you my sweet precious son.
Mom doesn't have any updates for you as it has been a quiet afternoon. I am sure that Grandpa will call later as he called last night but we did not chat for a long time due to Mom not feeling good. Meme usually calls me on her lunch break daily but she didn't today so I will touch base with her tonight as well. Tomorrow i plan on calling Aunt beck as they are a week out for leaving to travel to South America. She is really excited this time to be going. She will be working on getting many of things accomplished there so she can bring them back to the States for the partnership that she is involved in. Mom is so happy for her. I know you are watching over all of us. Mom knows you do this daily & it means the world to me. Thank you!
Well, I have a couple daily prayers to catch up on right now so here they are. January 27~ Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hand: happy shalt thou be & it shall be well with thee. Join us at work, Lord & in our insecurities about it; getting to & from it; in our triumphs & masteries over it; & short cuts & temptations through it. Work, amazingly, is where we spend most of our time. Amen.
January 28~But seek ye first the kingdom of God, & his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the marrow: for the marrow shall take thought for the things of itself. I'm getting a crick in my neck trying to see around the bend, God of past & future. I'm wearing myself out second guessing. Teach me to live in today, needing just a small glimpse down the road. No need to borrow trouble that may not be waiting. Amen.
Well, I am all caught up again. The sky today is blue & no clouds in it at all. It is hard to believe that this is the end of January with the weather we are having. I know tomorrow will be a crappy day as it says we will be getting snow, sleet & freezing rain all day but again after that the weather looks good...so good that a couple of days will hit over 50 degrees. Mom will take it! Tonight I am hoping that when the the evening sky is upon us the sky will be clear & I will get to see the stars shining bright & perhaps the moon as well. Either way, Mom will be whispering to you as I do each & every night. Hope you will be listening for my voice. Hope when & if you hear it, it will make you smile that smile I love so much.
I hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. I know you will be shining bright for someone who really needs it. I hope you get a chance to slow down though & get some rest if that is what you do wherever you are. Mom wishes you the sweetest of dreams. Come visit me in my own dreams when it is time for me to close my eyes & fall asleep. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. More than words can say. I miss you like crazy. Always always remember that you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. You are my Hero & you will always be the Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Mom has had a rough day today. Went to bed last night with a headache, woke up fine though & around 8 am or so I started to feel like poop. My headache came back so I tried to lay down by that was not at all possible with the pups. I quietly laid in bed with my eyes closed. That helped a little so at lunch time I had something to eat & chatted on the phone with a few people. Got off the phone & decided to sit up & watch some tv for a bit & about an hour or so into that my stomach started to feel sick & I have basically felt like crap since. Mom's night will be consisting of laying on the couch & watching tv. Going to bed early as well. I guess I need to get some sleep as I haven't been sleeping all that well again.
Mom doesn't have any updates on anything. I spoke to Meme briefly on her lunch break today & I did speak to Auntie Kristina too. I am sure that Grandpa will try to call me tonight &I will touch base with Aunt Beck as well because they will be traveling out of the country very soon. Mark was suppose to work late today but surprised me & was home at 4:30 pm. He has a busy day Thursday & Friday though at his office & then to a client. Pups are doing better. Neither are sick anymore so that is a bonus. I know you watch over us every day & I know that you will continue to. It means the would to Mom that you do so thank you my sweet precious son. I miss you so much & like crazy & I love you more than words could ever say. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Mom will write the daily prayer to you on tomorrow letter so that I can just go lay down. I know that you can see me & that you understand. Again, thank you. I hope that you have a peaceful & restful evening. May it be all that you need & want it to be. The sky is clear so I hope that later when I look up to it I will see the stars & the moon shining bright. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom's voice.
Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? Mom has had a rough day today. Went to bed last night with a headache, woke up fine though & around 8 am or so I started to feel like poop. My headache came back so I tried to lay down by that was not at all possible with the pups. I quietly laid in bed with my eyes closed. That helped a little so at lunch time I had something to eat & chatted on the phone with a few people. Got off the phone & decided to sit up & watch some tv for a bit & about an hour or so into that my stomach started to feel sick & I have basically felt like crap since. Mom's night will be consisting of laying on the couch & watching tv. Going to bed early as well. I guess I need to get some sleep as I haven't been sleeping all that well again.
Mom doesn't have any updates on anything. I spoke to Meme briefly on her lunch break today & I did speak to Auntie Kristina too. I am sure that Grandpa will try to call me tonight &I will touch base with Aunt Beck as well because they will be traveling out of the country very soon. Mark was suppose to work late today but surprised me & was home at 4:30 pm. He has a busy day Thursday & Friday though at his office & then to a client. Pups are doing better. Neither are sick anymore so that is a bonus. I know you watch over us every day & I know that you will continue to. It means the would to Mom that you do so thank you my sweet precious son. I miss you so much & like crazy & I love you more than words could ever say. To the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Mom will write the daily prayer to you on tomorrow letter so that I can just go lay down. I know that you can see me & that you understand. Again, thank you. I hope that you have a peaceful & restful evening. May it be all that you need & want it to be. The sky is clear so I hope that later when I look up to it I will see the stars & the moon shining bright. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for Mom's voice.
Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom's day started out pretty good & then as of right now it is pretty rocky. I think I may have ate something that really didn't agree with me. Hopefully it will pass & I will feel better in a little bit. The weather today was so nice. It was partly sunny & 50 degrees. Mom took the pups out for a long walk. The snow is melting quite fast here. It was really nice to just go outside & walk for a bit. I enjoyed it very much. The pups did too! Guess the rest of the week should be pretty good & over the weekend it will be snowy. Time will tell on that though. You know just as well as I do that the weather changes so fast here.
Mom got to talk to Meme today on her lunch break. She is doing ok. A lot going on right now with her & Bob. Please watch over them as I know that you do. Thank you pumpkin or as Meme would say Peanut. Mark went to the office today. He had a full day. On the way driving home, he just started on the interstate while talking to Mom on the phone & Mark had said there was a huge accident. Someone driving a truck lost a tire & it flew onto the opposite side of the interstate & hit another vehicle & killed the man instantly. Mark saw it all & he drove right by it all. If that was a few minutes before, that could have been Mark that got hit. I know he had many Angels watching over him at that point. I know that you were one of them. Thank you. No more updates for tonight. I am sure there will be more during the week though.
Here is your daily prayer for today. January 26~ And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, & breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Lord, with each breathe I take I am aware that it is you who breathed life unto me. My next breath is as dependent on you as my last breathe was. And I can confidently rest in the knowledge that it will be you & you alone who will determine when the last breath leaves my body & I go to be with you. Today, Lord. I thank you for the gift of life & for each breathe I take. Amen.
The night sky is here & I can see the stars & moon shining bright. Made Mom smile so thank you my sweet precious son. I am hoping that your night is all that you need & want it to be. I hope that you are able to get some sleep. Sweet dreams to you & please come visit Mom in my dreams tonight as well. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you more than words can say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom's day started out pretty good & then as of right now it is pretty rocky. I think I may have ate something that really didn't agree with me. Hopefully it will pass & I will feel better in a little bit. The weather today was so nice. It was partly sunny & 50 degrees. Mom took the pups out for a long walk. The snow is melting quite fast here. It was really nice to just go outside & walk for a bit. I enjoyed it very much. The pups did too! Guess the rest of the week should be pretty good & over the weekend it will be snowy. Time will tell on that though. You know just as well as I do that the weather changes so fast here.
Mom got to talk to Meme today on her lunch break. She is doing ok. A lot going on right now with her & Bob. Please watch over them as I know that you do. Thank you pumpkin or as Meme would say Peanut. Mark went to the office today. He had a full day. On the way driving home, he just started on the interstate while talking to Mom on the phone & Mark had said there was a huge accident. Someone driving a truck lost a tire & it flew onto the opposite side of the interstate & hit another vehicle & killed the man instantly. Mark saw it all & he drove right by it all. If that was a few minutes before, that could have been Mark that got hit. I know he had many Angels watching over him at that point. I know that you were one of them. Thank you. No more updates for tonight. I am sure there will be more during the week though.
Here is your daily prayer for today. January 26~ And the Lord God formed man of the dust of the ground, & breathed into his nostrils the breath of life; and man became a living soul. Lord, with each breathe I take I am aware that it is you who breathed life unto me. My next breath is as dependent on you as my last breathe was. And I can confidently rest in the knowledge that it will be you & you alone who will determine when the last breath leaves my body & I go to be with you. Today, Lord. I thank you for the gift of life & for each breathe I take. Amen.
The night sky is here & I can see the stars & moon shining bright. Made Mom smile so thank you my sweet precious son. I am hoping that your night is all that you need & want it to be. I hope that you are able to get some sleep. Sweet dreams to you & please come visit Mom in my dreams tonight as well. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you more than words can say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, January 25, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is doing fine. The weather today is pretty nice. The sun was shining & it wasn't too too cold. Took the pups for a walk & they enjoyed it. Mark actually went out in shorts & short sleeve shirt & said it was not that bad...he is crazy! He went to the office today...drove 1 1/2 hours one way to find out that his office had no power still due to the storm we had over the weekend so he drove 1 1/2 hours back. What a waste of time & gas but he didn't mind. got him out of the house for a few.
Mom did some housework & then chatted with a friend that I haven't been in touch with in over 5 years. It was so good to catch up with her & see how things have been. We talked about you a lot. She haven't known that you passed away. It was hard to talk about it but I did ok. I love talking about you. It makes me smile. I hope that you saw that when Mom did that. Hope it made you smile my sweet precious son. I tell you all the time that you are still my whole world because it is so true. You are & always will be. Always remember that. Know that & I believe that you can feel it in your soul. Mom feels it in hers. I love you so much. More than words can say. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Every minute of every day you are on my mind. I think of you constantly. Guess the bond we shared was so strong that it will never go away..even if we can't see one another now.
Mom was thinking earlier just how long it has been since I started this blog...my letters to you & I realized that it is 2 1/2 years. Mom has has 22,000 visits to my blog since I started & followers in the United States ( over 100 each night ), United Kingdom, Germany, France, Canada, Portugal, Poland, Philippines, Egypt, Ukraine as of right now & so many more through the years. It surprises Mom that I have something to say that people want to continue to read daily but on the other hand it makes me happy to know that readers enjoy my letters to you. If I can help others through their own grief then I guess I am doing something right & I am doing my job. I will always continue to write to you because it makes me feel closer to you & something tells me to keep doing it. I don't think that you read Mom's letters to you because I know that you are right next to me while I am writing them. You are watching me. You can feel what I am feeling & you just know. No words can explain it so that it will make sense.
No real updates for you today. I did get a message that Grammy is having another bad day today. Aunt Shirley sent me a picture & that picture spoke volumes with no words having to be said. It is so sad to see Grammy this way. It hurts. I know she is wanting to no longer be here with us & she wants to go where you you are. As much as I will miss her I will be happy for the day that she gets her wish granted. I know you & so many others will be there to greet her on the other side. There she will be smiling again, she will be able to see, to hear & will be no longer in pain. Please watch over her, Ty. Thank you. Mom also got to talk to Aunt Beck. Things are good. They are getting ready to go on there travels. We laughed a lot on the phone. It was great. It felt good. It's been awhile.
Here is your daily prayer for today. January 25~ Lord, we are so thankful to you for our families & close friends. How lonely our lives would be without them, even in this splendid world of your making! What a privilege it is to come to you every day to offer prayers for them. Day after day I bring before you those close to me who need your special attention. If I can't sleep at night. I pray for them again. Each one is so precious to me, Lord, & I know you cherish them as well. As I think of them during the day, please consider each thought to be another small prayer. Amen.
The night is almost upon us & the sky is still clear. Hope I get to see the moon & stars shining bright tonight. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Mom hopes you have a peaceful evening tonight. May it be all that you need & want it to be. May you have sweet dreams & come visit Mom in my dreams tonight. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. I love you pumpkin.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is doing fine. The weather today is pretty nice. The sun was shining & it wasn't too too cold. Took the pups for a walk & they enjoyed it. Mark actually went out in shorts & short sleeve shirt & said it was not that bad...he is crazy! He went to the office today...drove 1 1/2 hours one way to find out that his office had no power still due to the storm we had over the weekend so he drove 1 1/2 hours back. What a waste of time & gas but he didn't mind. got him out of the house for a few.
Mom did some housework & then chatted with a friend that I haven't been in touch with in over 5 years. It was so good to catch up with her & see how things have been. We talked about you a lot. She haven't known that you passed away. It was hard to talk about it but I did ok. I love talking about you. It makes me smile. I hope that you saw that when Mom did that. Hope it made you smile my sweet precious son. I tell you all the time that you are still my whole world because it is so true. You are & always will be. Always remember that. Know that & I believe that you can feel it in your soul. Mom feels it in hers. I love you so much. More than words can say. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Every minute of every day you are on my mind. I think of you constantly. Guess the bond we shared was so strong that it will never go away..even if we can't see one another now.
Mom was thinking earlier just how long it has been since I started this blog...my letters to you & I realized that it is 2 1/2 years. Mom has has 22,000 visits to my blog since I started & followers in the United States ( over 100 each night ), United Kingdom, Germany, France, Canada, Portugal, Poland, Philippines, Egypt, Ukraine as of right now & so many more through the years. It surprises Mom that I have something to say that people want to continue to read daily but on the other hand it makes me happy to know that readers enjoy my letters to you. If I can help others through their own grief then I guess I am doing something right & I am doing my job. I will always continue to write to you because it makes me feel closer to you & something tells me to keep doing it. I don't think that you read Mom's letters to you because I know that you are right next to me while I am writing them. You are watching me. You can feel what I am feeling & you just know. No words can explain it so that it will make sense.
No real updates for you today. I did get a message that Grammy is having another bad day today. Aunt Shirley sent me a picture & that picture spoke volumes with no words having to be said. It is so sad to see Grammy this way. It hurts. I know she is wanting to no longer be here with us & she wants to go where you you are. As much as I will miss her I will be happy for the day that she gets her wish granted. I know you & so many others will be there to greet her on the other side. There she will be smiling again, she will be able to see, to hear & will be no longer in pain. Please watch over her, Ty. Thank you. Mom also got to talk to Aunt Beck. Things are good. They are getting ready to go on there travels. We laughed a lot on the phone. It was great. It felt good. It's been awhile.
Here is your daily prayer for today. January 25~ Lord, we are so thankful to you for our families & close friends. How lonely our lives would be without them, even in this splendid world of your making! What a privilege it is to come to you every day to offer prayers for them. Day after day I bring before you those close to me who need your special attention. If I can't sleep at night. I pray for them again. Each one is so precious to me, Lord, & I know you cherish them as well. As I think of them during the day, please consider each thought to be another small prayer. Amen.
The night is almost upon us & the sky is still clear. Hope I get to see the moon & stars shining bright tonight. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Mom hopes you have a peaceful evening tonight. May it be all that you need & want it to be. May you have sweet dreams & come visit Mom in my dreams tonight. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. I love you pumpkin.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, January 24, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? Mom is believing that you definitely are somewhere far away from where I am so that you are in the sunny weather & not in this cold. Sorry that I could not write to you last night but the weather was so bad with wind, ice, snow, fog, etc... that we didn't know if we were going to loose power. I didn't want to take the chance. I know that you understand, I know that you could see what we were dealing with. The weather today is so cold, but sunny & blue skies. The snow is glistening in the sun & it is pretty but Mom still doesn't like it all that much...lol. Princess & Ozzy don't like it either. They won't even go walking in it like Max & Snickers used to. These guys really don't like the cold weather. Makes it tough to get them to go outside. I love them so but boy they are stubborn.....lol.
Everyone in the family are for the most part well. No one up North got any of the storm. It completely missed it altogether so they are extremely lucky this time but won't be because we are in for another snow storm next weekend. Seems to be the same pattern that we had last year. 5 weeks straight with major storms & 110" total. It was insane & so cold. Hopefully we can have a milder winter & not as much snow. We will see as we have another 2 months. Grammy ( Great Grammy to you ) is having a tough time. She is not doing well. Aunt Shirley & Grandpa will be having a meeting this week for her. Everyone is keeping me posted. I know that you will be with her. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Think that is what I have for you for updates right now.
Mom is getting ready to watch the 2 Championship football games today. First up is Patriots vs Broncos & later it is Cardinals vs Panthers. Do your thing Tyler.... help the Patriots go to the SuperBowl again this year. Would love to see Patriots vs Panthers. That would be amazing. I know you loved the Patriots so I know you will help them out today! By the end of the games we will all know who will be facing off in the big game that will be played on February 7th. Well as I am typing you this letter the Broncos already got a touch down. This is not a good start to the game for us. Do your magic Tyler.... we need luck!
Anyways.... here are the daily prayers I need to catch up on. January 23~ Then hear thou from the heavens, even from thy dwelling place, their prayer & their supplications & maintain their cause & forgive thy people which sinned against thee. God, I do not intend to hurt you & others. I am not always sure what happens in those times when I do hurt you & others. I am thankful that you forgive. Please help others to forgive me, too. Remind us all to follow your teachings. We pray that you will guide & comfort us. Amen.
January 24~ And there ye shall eat before the Lord your God, & ye shall rejoice in all that ye put your hand unto, ye & your households, wherein the Lord thy God hath blessed thee. May you find joy & satisfaction in your family life. In building a home & setting up a residence---be blessed! In finding a job & working diligently---be blessed! In taking care of little ones & making friends in the neighborhood---be blessed! In seeking God for all your help & guidance, bringing every care to him, yes, may you indeed be blessed. Amen.
Ok, Mom is all caught up again. The night sky will be upon us in the next 45 minutes or so. I hope that the sky stays clear so that we will be able to see the stars & moon shining bright tonight. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do each & every night. Hope you can hear Mom's voice. Hope it makes you smile. I miss you so much, beyond crazy & Mom loves you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. Slow down & rest though. Sweet dreams to you & come visit Mom in my dreams tonight. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? Mom is believing that you definitely are somewhere far away from where I am so that you are in the sunny weather & not in this cold. Sorry that I could not write to you last night but the weather was so bad with wind, ice, snow, fog, etc... that we didn't know if we were going to loose power. I didn't want to take the chance. I know that you understand, I know that you could see what we were dealing with. The weather today is so cold, but sunny & blue skies. The snow is glistening in the sun & it is pretty but Mom still doesn't like it all that much...lol. Princess & Ozzy don't like it either. They won't even go walking in it like Max & Snickers used to. These guys really don't like the cold weather. Makes it tough to get them to go outside. I love them so but boy they are stubborn.....lol.
Everyone in the family are for the most part well. No one up North got any of the storm. It completely missed it altogether so they are extremely lucky this time but won't be because we are in for another snow storm next weekend. Seems to be the same pattern that we had last year. 5 weeks straight with major storms & 110" total. It was insane & so cold. Hopefully we can have a milder winter & not as much snow. We will see as we have another 2 months. Grammy ( Great Grammy to you ) is having a tough time. She is not doing well. Aunt Shirley & Grandpa will be having a meeting this week for her. Everyone is keeping me posted. I know that you will be with her. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Think that is what I have for you for updates right now.
Mom is getting ready to watch the 2 Championship football games today. First up is Patriots vs Broncos & later it is Cardinals vs Panthers. Do your thing Tyler.... help the Patriots go to the SuperBowl again this year. Would love to see Patriots vs Panthers. That would be amazing. I know you loved the Patriots so I know you will help them out today! By the end of the games we will all know who will be facing off in the big game that will be played on February 7th. Well as I am typing you this letter the Broncos already got a touch down. This is not a good start to the game for us. Do your magic Tyler.... we need luck!
Anyways.... here are the daily prayers I need to catch up on. January 23~ Then hear thou from the heavens, even from thy dwelling place, their prayer & their supplications & maintain their cause & forgive thy people which sinned against thee. God, I do not intend to hurt you & others. I am not always sure what happens in those times when I do hurt you & others. I am thankful that you forgive. Please help others to forgive me, too. Remind us all to follow your teachings. We pray that you will guide & comfort us. Amen.
January 24~ And there ye shall eat before the Lord your God, & ye shall rejoice in all that ye put your hand unto, ye & your households, wherein the Lord thy God hath blessed thee. May you find joy & satisfaction in your family life. In building a home & setting up a residence---be blessed! In finding a job & working diligently---be blessed! In taking care of little ones & making friends in the neighborhood---be blessed! In seeking God for all your help & guidance, bringing every care to him, yes, may you indeed be blessed. Amen.
Ok, Mom is all caught up again. The night sky will be upon us in the next 45 minutes or so. I hope that the sky stays clear so that we will be able to see the stars & moon shining bright tonight. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do each & every night. Hope you can hear Mom's voice. Hope it makes you smile. I miss you so much, beyond crazy & Mom loves you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. Slow down & rest though. Sweet dreams to you & come visit Mom in my dreams tonight. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will forever be my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, January 22, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening?Hope you are somewhere warm & sunny & not where Mom is where it is so cold & the storm is heading our way. Should be upon us come early morning. Been watching the news all night long & things are still up in the air to just how much snow we will be getting. Could be as little as 3" up to 18" plus. I hope we don't get hardly anything & it misses us completely. The southern states are getting a bunch of nasty weather. I hope everyone stays safe there. Mom has quite a few friends that live in those states. I been seeing them post picks of everything that is going on. I feel bad because they are not equipped for any of it. Hopefully folks will be smart & they remain home. Power outages are horrendous as well. I think the last totals were over 6000 with out electric. Mom hopes they get it back soon. I am praying for all of them.
Mom had a chance to talk to Meme, Auntie Kristina & her friends Linda & Gary today. Always nice to catch up with everyone & to see how everyone is doing. Meme is doing well, Bob is doing good too. A little of a disappointment with a few things but hopefully that will change. I know you are watching over them.... I know they are in good hands. Spoke to Grandpa & Debbie last night & they are both doing well. Aunt Shirley is doing good & Grammy is still having more bad days than good days which is so sad. She is a trooper though. Love her dearly. Aunt Beck & Mom spoke a couple days ok & her & John are doing good. They are getting ready to take a trip to South America. Please watch over them as they are traveling. Thanks Ty. Mom is doing the best that I can. Mark is well. He, as always is working a lot. The company that he works for has him going all over the place for clients...go figure. Long hours & lots of driving as well. I know you watch over us all & Mom is so thankful. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much pumpkin. Think that is all the updates I have for you tonight. I am sure there will be more come the weekend.
Here is the daily prayer for today. January 22~ For the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace & not of evil, to give you an expected end. Lord, how it must amuse you at times to see us orchestrating the details of our days as if everything & everyone were in our control. It's only when you are involved in our plans that things go smoothly, Lord. Teach us to trust that your way is the better way, even when we can't see how every detail will turn out. Our insight is only good as our reliance on you. Please be with us each day, Lord. Amen.
The night sky is upon us now. The sky is clear & dark. I see nothing shining in the sky right now but I will look later tonight. I will whisper to you as I always do no matter what. Hope you have a restful * peaceful night. May you do all that you want & need. If you rest tonight Mom hopes you have sweet dreams. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Come see Mom tonight in my dreams. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening?Hope you are somewhere warm & sunny & not where Mom is where it is so cold & the storm is heading our way. Should be upon us come early morning. Been watching the news all night long & things are still up in the air to just how much snow we will be getting. Could be as little as 3" up to 18" plus. I hope we don't get hardly anything & it misses us completely. The southern states are getting a bunch of nasty weather. I hope everyone stays safe there. Mom has quite a few friends that live in those states. I been seeing them post picks of everything that is going on. I feel bad because they are not equipped for any of it. Hopefully folks will be smart & they remain home. Power outages are horrendous as well. I think the last totals were over 6000 with out electric. Mom hopes they get it back soon. I am praying for all of them.
Mom had a chance to talk to Meme, Auntie Kristina & her friends Linda & Gary today. Always nice to catch up with everyone & to see how everyone is doing. Meme is doing well, Bob is doing good too. A little of a disappointment with a few things but hopefully that will change. I know you are watching over them.... I know they are in good hands. Spoke to Grandpa & Debbie last night & they are both doing well. Aunt Shirley is doing good & Grammy is still having more bad days than good days which is so sad. She is a trooper though. Love her dearly. Aunt Beck & Mom spoke a couple days ok & her & John are doing good. They are getting ready to take a trip to South America. Please watch over them as they are traveling. Thanks Ty. Mom is doing the best that I can. Mark is well. He, as always is working a lot. The company that he works for has him going all over the place for clients...go figure. Long hours & lots of driving as well. I know you watch over us all & Mom is so thankful. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you so much pumpkin. Think that is all the updates I have for you tonight. I am sure there will be more come the weekend.
Here is the daily prayer for today. January 22~ For the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace & not of evil, to give you an expected end. Lord, how it must amuse you at times to see us orchestrating the details of our days as if everything & everyone were in our control. It's only when you are involved in our plans that things go smoothly, Lord. Teach us to trust that your way is the better way, even when we can't see how every detail will turn out. Our insight is only good as our reliance on you. Please be with us each day, Lord. Amen.
The night sky is upon us now. The sky is clear & dark. I see nothing shining in the sky right now but I will look later tonight. I will whisper to you as I always do no matter what. Hope you have a restful * peaceful night. May you do all that you want & need. If you rest tonight Mom hopes you have sweet dreams. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Come see Mom tonight in my dreams. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, January 21, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday early evening? Mom is doing somewhat better than I was yesterday. I am so sorry that I was not able to write to you yesterday but you saw the day that I had. It was pretty rough. Ozzy is doing a little better today but now Princess has started. Kind of thought that might happen. Hope I am able to get some sleep tonight. This is going on night 5 for Mom. Haven't pulled this staying up with little sleep since I cared for you. For you I would do it again in a heartbeat. I miss you so much. It kills Mom every minute of the day. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Today I was talking to a friend of mine & we were talking about you. You & him would have gotten along so well. He loves to joke around & have fun just like you always did.He told me to tell you " hello. " I was telling him about the time when I took you to Hooters for your Birthday & how much fun you had. Do you remember that? We had a great time & you smiled & laughed so much. You were such a little flirt...lol. I was saying that you were such a good boy who turned into a sweet handsome young man. Always caring about someone else & never yourself. You were wonderful. So kind, funny & loving. I know Mom didn't do many things right, it was a lot of trial & error but I do believe that I got that part right. Showing you how to be grateful & respectful to others. Every time I talk about you or remember something about what we did or what we talked about Mom gets the biggest smile. I know I say it all the time but I miss our times together..whether we were doing something or we were doing nothing. Being with you made me a better person. I know I told you that many times but I wish I would have told you all the time. I hope...no I know somehow that you know this. I believe that you feel it in my heart.
The sun is setting as I am typing this & I am looking out the window. The sky goes from blue to purple to pink to white. It is so pretty. They are all pastel colors. When I see the sky like this I believe that you are painting it for Mom to see. You were so awesome with painting. You never thought you were but you were very talented. Mom has been thinking about painting again. I enjoy it. Haven't done it in so long though. Maybe somehow you are telling me to start again. Do you see that Mom has some of your paintings up on the walls? Every time I see them I smile. Hope when you come to visit Mom you see them as well & you smile too.
Mom didn't talk to anyone yesterday so I have no updates for you but I do have a couple daily prayers that I need to get caught up on so here they are. January 20~Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Bless the children, God of little ones, with their giggles & wide-eyed awe, their assumption that today will be chock-full of surprises, learning & love. Neither missing nor wasting a minute, they take nothing for granted. Their example blesses us. We will go & do like wise. Amen.
January 21~ Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is & to morrow is cast into the oven, shall not much more clothe you. O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or Wherewithal shall we be clothed? If I count the things I've asked for that you have not given me, I begin to believe you do not love me, God. But if, instead, I bring to mind all of the goodness you have shown me, I come to trust that you have never given me less than what I need & often have blessed me with far more from a depth of love I cannot comprehend. Amen.
Mom is once again all caught up. The night sky is completely upon us now. The sky looks clear so I am hoping to see the moon & the stars shining brightly. Mom will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be my sweet precious son. May it be peaceful & restful for you. Sweet dreams to you if you sleep. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Thanks you, Ty.
Please continue to watch over us all. We always need you by our side. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my Hero & you will forever be my Wind Beneath My Wings. I love you so much.....unconditionally & I miss you like crazy.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday early evening? Mom is doing somewhat better than I was yesterday. I am so sorry that I was not able to write to you yesterday but you saw the day that I had. It was pretty rough. Ozzy is doing a little better today but now Princess has started. Kind of thought that might happen. Hope I am able to get some sleep tonight. This is going on night 5 for Mom. Haven't pulled this staying up with little sleep since I cared for you. For you I would do it again in a heartbeat. I miss you so much. It kills Mom every minute of the day. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Today I was talking to a friend of mine & we were talking about you. You & him would have gotten along so well. He loves to joke around & have fun just like you always did.He told me to tell you " hello. " I was telling him about the time when I took you to Hooters for your Birthday & how much fun you had. Do you remember that? We had a great time & you smiled & laughed so much. You were such a little flirt...lol. I was saying that you were such a good boy who turned into a sweet handsome young man. Always caring about someone else & never yourself. You were wonderful. So kind, funny & loving. I know Mom didn't do many things right, it was a lot of trial & error but I do believe that I got that part right. Showing you how to be grateful & respectful to others. Every time I talk about you or remember something about what we did or what we talked about Mom gets the biggest smile. I know I say it all the time but I miss our times together..whether we were doing something or we were doing nothing. Being with you made me a better person. I know I told you that many times but I wish I would have told you all the time. I hope...no I know somehow that you know this. I believe that you feel it in my heart.
The sun is setting as I am typing this & I am looking out the window. The sky goes from blue to purple to pink to white. It is so pretty. They are all pastel colors. When I see the sky like this I believe that you are painting it for Mom to see. You were so awesome with painting. You never thought you were but you were very talented. Mom has been thinking about painting again. I enjoy it. Haven't done it in so long though. Maybe somehow you are telling me to start again. Do you see that Mom has some of your paintings up on the walls? Every time I see them I smile. Hope when you come to visit Mom you see them as well & you smile too.
Mom didn't talk to anyone yesterday so I have no updates for you but I do have a couple daily prayers that I need to get caught up on so here they are. January 20~Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Bless the children, God of little ones, with their giggles & wide-eyed awe, their assumption that today will be chock-full of surprises, learning & love. Neither missing nor wasting a minute, they take nothing for granted. Their example blesses us. We will go & do like wise. Amen.
January 21~ Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is & to morrow is cast into the oven, shall not much more clothe you. O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or Wherewithal shall we be clothed? If I count the things I've asked for that you have not given me, I begin to believe you do not love me, God. But if, instead, I bring to mind all of the goodness you have shown me, I come to trust that you have never given me less than what I need & often have blessed me with far more from a depth of love I cannot comprehend. Amen.
Mom is once again all caught up. The night sky is completely upon us now. The sky looks clear so I am hoping to see the moon & the stars shining brightly. Mom will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be my sweet precious son. May it be peaceful & restful for you. Sweet dreams to you if you sleep. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Thanks you, Ty.
Please continue to watch over us all. We always need you by our side. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my Hero & you will forever be my Wind Beneath My Wings. I love you so much.....unconditionally & I miss you like crazy.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? The weather today has been so cold. The wind has been blowing & it is just raw & bitter outside. Mom has been watching the storm system that may hit us by the weekend. I am really hoping it won't though. It could dump several inches up to a couple feet of snow on us...ugh! I am sure that you remember those storms & times all too well. You & Mom hated them but we made the best of it by cuddling up in our blankets & watching movies or playing that dang mini golf game...lol. God, Tyler, I miss those times so much. I think about them days & nights when we would spend quality time together just talking about everything & anything, laughing & listening to music. God ( & now you ) knows just how much I miss you & how much you were my world. I can't believe that today marks 2 years & 7 months since I last spoke to you. I remember that night so clearly. I remember everything we spoke about when we were skyping. That conversation is forever in my head. Mom holds onto this so tightly. Never in a million years did I ever think that would be the last time I would ever see your smile, hear your voice, & look into your eyes. Mom tries so hard to show you that I am strong with all this. I think I do ok on the outside but every second of every minute of every hour of every day is a completely different story on the inside. I know you can feel Mom's pain & you already know how much it kills me. I always think that in time it will not so much be easier but just different, but in all honesty Mom doesn't think it will ever be anything I will ever overcome or get through. I am so sorry, Tyler. You were my world & you still are in so many ways. My love for you was unconditional & always will be. That will never ever change. We had such a special bond. A bond that many family & friends got to witness between us & for that I am so thankful.
Mom does have a few updates for you but I will write them to you in another letter...just not tonight. Here is your daily prayer for tonight. January 19~ Heal me, O Lord, & I shall be healed; save me & I shall be saved: for thou art my praise. Lord, bless all those today who need healing of any kind. Whether it be physical, emotional or mental, bless them with your merciful grace & eternal love. Let each one know that they are special in your eyes & that, in the realm of spirit, there is only perfection, wholeness & joy. Amen.
The evening sky has been upon us for a few hours now. The sky is so clear & jet black. I got to see the stars & moon shining bright. It made Mom smile. I look up to the sky every night & wonder just where you are & what you may be doing. I wonder if you are with me at that moment that I am looking to the sky or are you off doing things that you need & want to do. I wonder if you still go to the star that is yours. The star that Mom had named after you. I wonder what it looks like to where you are. Is it the same as how I see the stars? So many questions..... Later tonight Mom will look to the sky once again & I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Mom hopes that you have a peaceful night. May you get to do all that you need & want to as well my sweet precious son. If you rest, sweet dreams & come visit me in my dreams when I drift off to sleep tonight. Please continue to watch over Mom & all our family & friends. Thanks you pumpkin. It means so much. Continue to fly high & free in the Heavens above & know you are missed by so many of us but not as much as Mom misses you. Love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever Mom's Hero & you will forever be my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Today is Uncle Ray's Birthday....make sure you go say hello & let him know that you are near....just don't scare him...lol!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? The weather today has been so cold. The wind has been blowing & it is just raw & bitter outside. Mom has been watching the storm system that may hit us by the weekend. I am really hoping it won't though. It could dump several inches up to a couple feet of snow on us...ugh! I am sure that you remember those storms & times all too well. You & Mom hated them but we made the best of it by cuddling up in our blankets & watching movies or playing that dang mini golf game...lol. God, Tyler, I miss those times so much. I think about them days & nights when we would spend quality time together just talking about everything & anything, laughing & listening to music. God ( & now you ) knows just how much I miss you & how much you were my world. I can't believe that today marks 2 years & 7 months since I last spoke to you. I remember that night so clearly. I remember everything we spoke about when we were skyping. That conversation is forever in my head. Mom holds onto this so tightly. Never in a million years did I ever think that would be the last time I would ever see your smile, hear your voice, & look into your eyes. Mom tries so hard to show you that I am strong with all this. I think I do ok on the outside but every second of every minute of every hour of every day is a completely different story on the inside. I know you can feel Mom's pain & you already know how much it kills me. I always think that in time it will not so much be easier but just different, but in all honesty Mom doesn't think it will ever be anything I will ever overcome or get through. I am so sorry, Tyler. You were my world & you still are in so many ways. My love for you was unconditional & always will be. That will never ever change. We had such a special bond. A bond that many family & friends got to witness between us & for that I am so thankful.
Mom does have a few updates for you but I will write them to you in another letter...just not tonight. Here is your daily prayer for tonight. January 19~ Heal me, O Lord, & I shall be healed; save me & I shall be saved: for thou art my praise. Lord, bless all those today who need healing of any kind. Whether it be physical, emotional or mental, bless them with your merciful grace & eternal love. Let each one know that they are special in your eyes & that, in the realm of spirit, there is only perfection, wholeness & joy. Amen.
The evening sky has been upon us for a few hours now. The sky is so clear & jet black. I got to see the stars & moon shining bright. It made Mom smile. I look up to the sky every night & wonder just where you are & what you may be doing. I wonder if you are with me at that moment that I am looking to the sky or are you off doing things that you need & want to do. I wonder if you still go to the star that is yours. The star that Mom had named after you. I wonder what it looks like to where you are. Is it the same as how I see the stars? So many questions..... Later tonight Mom will look to the sky once again & I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Mom hopes that you have a peaceful night. May you get to do all that you need & want to as well my sweet precious son. If you rest, sweet dreams & come visit me in my dreams when I drift off to sleep tonight. Please continue to watch over Mom & all our family & friends. Thanks you pumpkin. It means so much. Continue to fly high & free in the Heavens above & know you are missed by so many of us but not as much as Mom misses you. Love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever Mom's Hero & you will forever be my Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Today is Uncle Ray's Birthday....make sure you go say hello & let him know that you are near....just don't scare him...lol!
Monday, January 18, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday evening? Mom has had better days but I am doing better than earlier today. I know you saw Mom have a rough patch & I am sure that you were with me. Thank you pumpkin! The weather today was crazy cold. We got a few inches of snow yesterday & last night. Guess we are headed for a huge snow storm this weekend. Guess it is that time of year. This is what it did last year as well. Maybe we won't get it.. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it will pass us...lol.
Mom got a chance to talk to Grandpa tonight. Things are well. Debbie is getting excited for her new job to start in a couple weeks, Mark's brother has a new job & will be going to Texas at the beginning of February, Mark is gearing up for a trip himself for work to Atlanta, Georgia at the beginning of February as well. Our skype call last night with Tubal & Karen was great. They are doing well. Lots of things happening. Mom will be talking to Meme & Aunt Beck in the next couple of days so I will be having more updates for you.
Here is the daily prayer for you tonight. January 18~ Who is he that condemneth? Is it Christ that died, you rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Lord, how unworthy we feel of your son's prayers on our behalf, but how grateful we are for his intercession! It's all more marvelous, more mysterious than we can grasp, but because we trust your Word & your heart, we humbly thank him for caring so much about us. Surely his prayers are heard above all others!
The evening sky is upon us & the is no chance that Mom will see anything shining in the sky but that is ok because I will be whispering to you as I always do each night. Be listening for Mom's voice. Hope it makes you smile. I love you so much...to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I hope that you have a peaceful night. May it be all that you need & want it to be. I hope that you have time to relax & you have the sweetest of dreams. Come see Mom tonight in my dreams tonight. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Mauh!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday evening? Mom has had better days but I am doing better than earlier today. I know you saw Mom have a rough patch & I am sure that you were with me. Thank you pumpkin! The weather today was crazy cold. We got a few inches of snow yesterday & last night. Guess we are headed for a huge snow storm this weekend. Guess it is that time of year. This is what it did last year as well. Maybe we won't get it.. I will be keeping my fingers crossed that it will pass us...lol.
Mom got a chance to talk to Grandpa tonight. Things are well. Debbie is getting excited for her new job to start in a couple weeks, Mark's brother has a new job & will be going to Texas at the beginning of February, Mark is gearing up for a trip himself for work to Atlanta, Georgia at the beginning of February as well. Our skype call last night with Tubal & Karen was great. They are doing well. Lots of things happening. Mom will be talking to Meme & Aunt Beck in the next couple of days so I will be having more updates for you.
Here is the daily prayer for you tonight. January 18~ Who is he that condemneth? Is it Christ that died, you rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. Lord, how unworthy we feel of your son's prayers on our behalf, but how grateful we are for his intercession! It's all more marvelous, more mysterious than we can grasp, but because we trust your Word & your heart, we humbly thank him for caring so much about us. Surely his prayers are heard above all others!
The evening sky is upon us & the is no chance that Mom will see anything shining in the sky but that is ok because I will be whispering to you as I always do each night. Be listening for Mom's voice. Hope it makes you smile. I love you so much...to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I hope that you have a peaceful night. May it be all that you need & want it to be. I hope that you have time to relax & you have the sweetest of dreams. Come see Mom tonight in my dreams tonight. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Mauh!
Sunday, January 17, 2016
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