Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? The sun is shining here where Mom is & the day is really beautiful. Mom is feeling a lot better today...not 100% but  alot better as I did get some sleep last night. Took the pups out for a walk today. They were enjoying the time outside. The snow that we got the last 2 storms is almost all gone now & Mom is loving that part! You & I were so much alike... we hated the snow. We didn't mind the cold as much just the snow prevented us from doing so many things together. Mom will never wallow in the things we didn't get to do because there was so much & so many things & places that we did get to go to & see together. Mom has always cherished the time we did have & I always will. People can take everything & anything away from me but the one thing they can't take away & that are the most precious to me are the memories I have of you & I. The memories is what I hold onto every day of my life now. They are what makes me get up & start a new day. I know I was the strength that you needed when you were here in the physical world & now it is reversed... you are my strength to keep going when I don't think I can anymore. You are & always will be the most important person in my life. We will always remain connected & bonded to one another. I know in my heart that that will never change. Thank you so much for being with Mom. I have been told that you never leave my side & I can believe that completely. That sounds like you as you never wanted to leave Mom. You were to afraid to. Just know that Mom is doing ok. I have my days that are tough but I also have my good days. The roller coaster ride will always be there. It is a part of grieving Mother when she looses her child. I am trying Tyler, I really am. Just have more patience with me. Someday I will get it, but just not today.
 Mom was talking to a very good friend of mine today. He tells me quite a few times to tell you he said hello but I know I don't need to because you can see all & you know all! He was saying that this morning  he read my letter that I wrote to you last night. He said that it was touching. He also liked the picture of you & Mom that I have on here. He said that it brought tears to his eyes. When he said that.. Mom instantly went to that picture & I had tears in my eyes...I silently said..." yeah I know the feeling. " God, I miss you so much Tyler. I miss everything about you. Your face, your smile, your voice, your laughter, our conversations that we would have, I miss it all. Nothing is the same anymore. The day you died is the day that Mom did to. I am not the same person as I once was. I am different & I will never be the same again. Oh I have tried many of times but nothing works. For you, I will continue to go on so that you can see me smile & laugh. Anything for you my sweet precious son.
 Mom doesn't have any updates for you as it has been a quiet afternoon. I am sure that Grandpa will call later as he called last night but we did not chat for a long time due to Mom not feeling good. Meme usually calls me on her lunch break daily but she didn't today so I will touch base with her tonight as well. Tomorrow i plan on calling Aunt beck as they are a week out for leaving to travel to South America. She is really excited this time to be going. She will be working on getting many of things accomplished there so she can bring them back to the States for the partnership that she is involved in. Mom is so happy for her. I know you are watching over all of us. Mom knows you do this daily & it means the world to me. Thank you!
 Well, I have a couple daily prayers to catch up on right now so here they are. January 27~ Blessed is every one that feareth the Lord: that walketh in his ways. For thou shalt eat the labour of thine hand: happy shalt thou be & it shall be well with thee. Join us at work, Lord & in our insecurities about it; getting to & from it; in our triumphs & masteries over it; & short cuts & temptations through it. Work, amazingly, is where we spend most of our time. Amen.
 January 28~But seek ye first the kingdom of God, & his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the marrow: for the marrow shall take thought for the things of itself. I'm getting a crick in my neck trying to see around the bend, God of past & future. I'm wearing myself out second guessing. Teach me to live in today, needing just a small glimpse down the road. No need to borrow trouble that may not be waiting. Amen.
 Well, I am all caught up again. The sky today is blue & no clouds in it at all. It is hard to believe that this is the end of January with the weather we are having. I know tomorrow will be a crappy day as it says we will be getting snow, sleet & freezing rain all day but again after that the weather looks good...so good that a couple of days will hit over 50 degrees. Mom will take it! Tonight I am hoping that when the the evening sky is upon us the sky will be clear & I will get to see the stars shining bright & perhaps the moon as well. Either way, Mom will be whispering to you as I do each & every night. Hope you will be listening for my voice. Hope when & if you hear it, it will make you smile that smile I love so much. 
 I hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. I know you will be shining bright for someone who really needs it. I hope you get a chance to slow down though & get some rest if that is what you do wherever you are. Mom wishes you the sweetest of dreams. Come visit me in my own dreams when it is time for me to close my eyes & fall asleep. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. More than words can say. I miss you like crazy. Always always remember that you are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. You are my Hero & you will always be the Wind Beneath My Wings. 
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!