Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday early evening? Mom is doing somewhat better than I was yesterday. I am so sorry that I was not able to write to you yesterday but you saw the day that I had. It was pretty rough. Ozzy is doing a little better today but now Princess has started. Kind of thought that might happen. Hope I am able to get some sleep tonight. This is going on night 5 for Mom. Haven't pulled this staying up with little sleep since I cared for you. For you I would do it again in a heartbeat. I miss you so much. It kills Mom every minute of the day. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. 
 Today I was talking to a friend of mine & we were talking about you. You & him would have gotten along so well. He loves to joke around & have fun just like you always did.He told me to tell you " hello. "  I was telling him about the time when I took you to Hooters for your Birthday & how much fun you had. Do you remember that? We had a great time & you smiled & laughed so much. You were such a little flirt...lol. I was saying that you were such a good boy who turned into a sweet handsome young man. Always caring about someone else & never yourself. You were wonderful. So kind, funny & loving. I know Mom didn't do many things right, it was a lot of trial & error but I do believe that I got that part right. Showing you how to be grateful & respectful to others. Every time I talk about you or remember something about what we did or what we talked about Mom gets the biggest smile. I know I say it all the time but I miss our times together..whether we were doing something or we were doing nothing. Being with you made me a better person. I know I told you that many times but I wish I would have told you all the time. I hope...no I know somehow that you know this. I believe that you feel it in my heart.
 The sun is setting as I am typing this & I am looking out the window. The sky goes from blue to purple to pink to white. It is so pretty. They are all pastel colors. When I see the sky like this I believe that you are painting it for Mom to see. You were so awesome with painting. You never thought you were but you were very talented. Mom has been thinking about painting again. I enjoy it. Haven't done it in so long though. Maybe somehow you are telling me to start again. Do you see that Mom has some of your paintings up on the walls? Every time I see them I smile. Hope when you come to visit Mom you see them as well & you smile too. 
 Mom didn't talk to anyone yesterday so I have no updates for you but I do have a couple daily prayers that I need to get caught up on so here they are. January 20~Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. Bless the children, God of little ones, with their giggles & wide-eyed awe, their assumption that today will be chock-full of surprises, learning & love. Neither missing nor wasting a minute, they take nothing for granted. Their example blesses us. We will go & do like wise. Amen.
 January 21~ Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which to day is & to morrow is cast into the oven, shall not much more clothe you. O ye of little faith? Therefore take no thought saying, What shall we eat? or What shall we drink? or Wherewithal shall we be clothed? If I count the things I've asked for that you have not given me, I begin to believe you do not love me, God. But if, instead, I bring to mind all of the goodness you have shown me, I come to trust that you have never given me less than what I need & often have blessed me with far more from a depth of love I cannot comprehend. Amen.
 Mom is once again all caught up. The night sky is completely upon us now. The sky looks clear so I am hoping to see the moon & the stars shining brightly. Mom will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be my sweet precious son. May it be peaceful & restful for you. Sweet dreams to you if you sleep. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when I fall asleep. Thanks you, Ty. 
 Please continue to watch over us all. We always need you by our side. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You will always be my Hero & you will forever be my Wind Beneath My Wings. I love you so much.....unconditionally & I miss you like crazy.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!