Dear Tyler,

How are you doing today on this Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you early so that I can later continue to prep for this storm that is coming later tonight through Thursday. Mom has been doing laundry, house work, vacuuming, trash, etc.... while Mark is gone to the office for the day. I had a little time to look though some things that were packed & do some cleaning & weeding of them. I came across a box that had some cards that you gave to Mom through the years. I also found some little notes & letters from you as well. It made me smile & cry while I was reading them. I talked to you so I hope you heard Mom. I remember every moment when you gave them all to me. Mom misses you so much my sweet precious son. I miss everything about you. Your face, your voice, your smile, your words of wisdom & so much more. Coming across things like I did just makes this whole nightmare real. I am so sorry that you had to see Mom get emotional. I try so hard every day. I guess some days gets the best of Mom. Please forgive me as I know you don't like to see me that way. 
 When I was looking through my stuff I found these Inner Peace cards that Aunt Beck gave Mom many years ago. I used to shuffle them & read one every morning. I haven't done that in years now. I didn't even know that I still had them actually. What I want to do each night for the next 50 nights pick one & write it to you here on my blog with a little note on how it may affect Mom during that day or how it pertains to my life right now. I will write them after I type you the daily prayer. Hope you will enjoy it. It will at least be different for 50 nights!
 It is about 3 pm here & Mom has not spoken to anyone really. It has been a quiet day as far as the phones go. Mom has been listening to all the latest of the storm from the weather channel. This one is really gearing to be brutal. They are now saying 18 -24" or more of heavy wet snow & the winds will be 40 -50 mph but eventually get to 60 mph through the day & into the evening. Please be with us, Tyler. Please keep us safe with everything. Mom is praying that our power will be ok. Please help us with that as well. Thank you so much. Mom will try to write to you in the morning when the storm is not so bad but if for some reason I can't write to you at all please know that I will write to you on Wednesday as soon as I can. 
 Here is your daily prayer for the day: March 13~ O fear the Lord, you his holy ones, for those who fear him have no want. Dear Lord, I understand that by " fearing " you don't mean cowering or abject terror. You mean a proper respect, honor & reverence for who you are that cause me to fervently desire to obey you & stay in right relationship with you. And I do want to properly fear you. But in a culture where flippancy, disrespect & selfishness are prevalent, I ask you to help me regard you as I ought---- to honor you well, because I love you so much. The Book of Proverbs tells us that the fear of the Lord is a catalyst for many good things in our lives: It is the beginning of wisdom, knowledge & understanding; it is a fountain of life & prolongs life; it is a strong confidence & refuge; it keeps us from evil; it provides peace of mind; it even brings riches, honor & life. Amen.
 Mom has shuffled the cards up so here is the 1st one: Loving others starts with loving myself. If you don't love yourself nobody else will. Not only that you won't be good at loving anyone else. Loving starts with the self. Well... I have heard this before & I believe that it is true. Mom has been trying this for years now. I get better & then something happens & I forget this. It definitely is a work in progress for me. I try every day & that is the point of it. Baby steps for Mom but I am moving forward instead of backwards. I will get there....someday!
 Mom is going to have to close this letter to you for now. I hope that you night is peaceful & all that you want & need it to be. Please come be with us for the next few days while this storm is going on. Thank you again. Visit me in my dreams if you can as well. I love that. Have fun & continue to fly high. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. You live forever in my heart, mind, body & soul. Listen for my voice tonight when I whisper to you. Smile & I will too. Until tomorrow.... ( I hope I can write to you...if not remember I will on Wednesday! ) good night & sweet dreams. I love you pumpkin.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!