Monday, July 31, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you on this Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you now ( it is 1 pm ) because as of right now we have internet. I am not sure what is going on but it has been acting up all weekend. I guess it was doing the same thing earlier this morning to Mark so I guess I will have to call the cable company to see what is happening. I wanted to make sure that I was able to write to you today as trying to write you a letter on my cell phone is just tough. Mom is sorry for the very short letter last night but I at least wanted to write to you & not go without one.
Mom needs to apologize to you & to all that read that letter last night. Mom was not in a good mood at all & I don't even think the letter probably made any sense. If it did I should not have talked about it on here. Mom tries her hardest to be a positive person for the most part. I try to stay upbeat & not let things get to me but there are just days that I can't do that & last night was one of those times. Mom is really hurt & confused & I still don't know what to do but I am sure an answer will come to me. Sometimes it is tough when Mom needs to talk to someone & no one is there to answer the phone or to listen. At times I wish someone would pick up the phone & other times I am thankful that they didn't because I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. Life is super tough at times.... you know that of all people, Tyler. Mom so wishes that you were here. You would listen to me talk & you would try to help me out. You always had that knack of making me see a different side to things. I know you are with Mom in the only way you can now. It is just so difficult. I miss you terribly. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will always be Mom's everything. Nothing will ever change that my sweet precious son!
Today the weather is beautiful outside. The sun is shining & the skies are blue. Mom just finished taking the pups out for a nice long walk. We all enjoyed it! Mom hopes that tonight there will be a beautiful sunset along with being able to see the stars & moon. I didn't see anything at all last night but honestly I was not looking because I was so upset. Please be with Mom tonight as I need you. You know everything that is going on as you see it all. Mom doesn't have to write the details out. Thank you, Tyler. Mom appreciates it more than you could know. I will whisper to you later tonight & I will be lighting a candle for you as well. Be sure to smile when you hear my voice & I will smile back for you!
Mom doesn't have many updates for you today. I did chat with Grandpa last night for a few minutes & things are well. They are keeping busy with work & wedding planning. Meme called Mom this afternoon. She listened to me vent because she knew something was wrong. She also let me know that she was going to the doctors tonight to have x-rays done on her chest, lower back & hip. Guess she has a cough again & it came out of no where. They will just be checking to make sure everything is okay there. She needs the one on her hip though as she has had a hard time walking for the past 3 weeks. Hope she gets answers. She will be calling me later tonight to let me know. everyone else is doing well I guess. It has been pretty quiet. Mom will let you know as I know of things. Anyways.... I do have a couple prayers for you to make up for not doing them last night so here they are:
Our idea of what breakthrough looks like frequently falls short of what God has in mind for us. Amen.
May God Himself wrap you up in HIs new mercies this day! Where you've known angst, may He give you awe-inspiring wonder. Where you've known heartbreak, may He bring healing, deliverance, and supernatural breakthrough. May He help you blow the dust off your dreams and lift them up as possibilities once again. With God all things are possible. May you learn to pray from that beautiful truth. Be encouraged today. He's got you!
Here are a couple inspirational messages for you as well:
" The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. "
" Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. "
Mom needs to get going now as it is after 2 pm. I need to get some studying done today whereas I took all last week off waiting for my books to arrive. Mom hopes that you have an evening of fun doing all the things you need to & want to do. Come be with me & visit me in my dreams if you can tonight. Thanks pumpkin! I will be back tomorrow night with another letter to you so until then.... Good night & sweet dreams. Remember you live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you on this Monday afternoon? Mom is writing to you now ( it is 1 pm ) because as of right now we have internet. I am not sure what is going on but it has been acting up all weekend. I guess it was doing the same thing earlier this morning to Mark so I guess I will have to call the cable company to see what is happening. I wanted to make sure that I was able to write to you today as trying to write you a letter on my cell phone is just tough. Mom is sorry for the very short letter last night but I at least wanted to write to you & not go without one.
Mom needs to apologize to you & to all that read that letter last night. Mom was not in a good mood at all & I don't even think the letter probably made any sense. If it did I should not have talked about it on here. Mom tries her hardest to be a positive person for the most part. I try to stay upbeat & not let things get to me but there are just days that I can't do that & last night was one of those times. Mom is really hurt & confused & I still don't know what to do but I am sure an answer will come to me. Sometimes it is tough when Mom needs to talk to someone & no one is there to answer the phone or to listen. At times I wish someone would pick up the phone & other times I am thankful that they didn't because I don't want to burden anyone with my problems. Life is super tough at times.... you know that of all people, Tyler. Mom so wishes that you were here. You would listen to me talk & you would try to help me out. You always had that knack of making me see a different side to things. I know you are with Mom in the only way you can now. It is just so difficult. I miss you terribly. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will always be Mom's everything. Nothing will ever change that my sweet precious son!
Today the weather is beautiful outside. The sun is shining & the skies are blue. Mom just finished taking the pups out for a nice long walk. We all enjoyed it! Mom hopes that tonight there will be a beautiful sunset along with being able to see the stars & moon. I didn't see anything at all last night but honestly I was not looking because I was so upset. Please be with Mom tonight as I need you. You know everything that is going on as you see it all. Mom doesn't have to write the details out. Thank you, Tyler. Mom appreciates it more than you could know. I will whisper to you later tonight & I will be lighting a candle for you as well. Be sure to smile when you hear my voice & I will smile back for you!
Mom doesn't have many updates for you today. I did chat with Grandpa last night for a few minutes & things are well. They are keeping busy with work & wedding planning. Meme called Mom this afternoon. She listened to me vent because she knew something was wrong. She also let me know that she was going to the doctors tonight to have x-rays done on her chest, lower back & hip. Guess she has a cough again & it came out of no where. They will just be checking to make sure everything is okay there. She needs the one on her hip though as she has had a hard time walking for the past 3 weeks. Hope she gets answers. She will be calling me later tonight to let me know. everyone else is doing well I guess. It has been pretty quiet. Mom will let you know as I know of things. Anyways.... I do have a couple prayers for you to make up for not doing them last night so here they are:
Our idea of what breakthrough looks like frequently falls short of what God has in mind for us. Amen.
May God Himself wrap you up in HIs new mercies this day! Where you've known angst, may He give you awe-inspiring wonder. Where you've known heartbreak, may He bring healing, deliverance, and supernatural breakthrough. May He help you blow the dust off your dreams and lift them up as possibilities once again. With God all things are possible. May you learn to pray from that beautiful truth. Be encouraged today. He's got you!
Here are a couple inspirational messages for you as well:
" The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes. "
" Nothing is predestined: The obstacles of your past can become the gateways that lead to new beginnings. "
Mom needs to get going now as it is after 2 pm. I need to get some studying done today whereas I took all last week off waiting for my books to arrive. Mom hopes that you have an evening of fun doing all the things you need to & want to do. Come be with me & visit me in my dreams if you can tonight. Thanks pumpkin! I will be back tomorrow night with another letter to you so until then.... Good night & sweet dreams. Remember you live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, July 30, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing alright. The day started out pretty good but after a conversation with Mark, Mom to say the least is not very happy right now. My mind is all over the place. Mom is pretty hurt & I am quite sad. I don't know what to do right now. I need to do some thinking right now & either figure things out or make a huge change. Mom tries so hard at all I do for everyone that I always sell myself short & I need to stop that. No one ever thinks of me. They just think I will deal with it. They either don't remember that I have feelings or they don't really care. Mom wishes you were here to give me your advice or one of your special talks. Mom misses you so much. Every day is so difficult with you not here. Time does not make it easier.... it makes it harder for me.
Mom hesitated to even write to you tonight because of how I am feeling but I didn't want to not write to you tonight. It is also hard to write because again I am on my cell phone because for some reason we have been having problems with our internet all day. Guess Mom will have to call the company in the morning. This letter tonight is going to be short & Mom is so sorry but I will make it up to you tomorrow night. I know you understand so Mom at least feels better about that.
Mom will write your prayers & inspirational messages on tomorrows letter too. Mom hopes your night is all that you are needing & wanting it to be. Please be with Mom the next few nights as you know I need you. Thank you my sweet precious son. Come visit me in my dreams if you get the chance as well. Mom would love that. Thank you again.
I am going to close this letter for the night. I am going to call it a night & go relax & head to bed as I have class in the morning. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Mom will whisper to you later this evening so hope you hear my voice. Smile & I will too. I will be back tomorrow night so until then.... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing alright. The day started out pretty good but after a conversation with Mark, Mom to say the least is not very happy right now. My mind is all over the place. Mom is pretty hurt & I am quite sad. I don't know what to do right now. I need to do some thinking right now & either figure things out or make a huge change. Mom tries so hard at all I do for everyone that I always sell myself short & I need to stop that. No one ever thinks of me. They just think I will deal with it. They either don't remember that I have feelings or they don't really care. Mom wishes you were here to give me your advice or one of your special talks. Mom misses you so much. Every day is so difficult with you not here. Time does not make it easier.... it makes it harder for me.
Mom hesitated to even write to you tonight because of how I am feeling but I didn't want to not write to you tonight. It is also hard to write because again I am on my cell phone because for some reason we have been having problems with our internet all day. Guess Mom will have to call the company in the morning. This letter tonight is going to be short & Mom is so sorry but I will make it up to you tomorrow night. I know you understand so Mom at least feels better about that.
Mom will write your prayers & inspirational messages on tomorrows letter too. Mom hopes your night is all that you are needing & wanting it to be. Please be with Mom the next few nights as you know I need you. Thank you my sweet precious son. Come visit me in my dreams if you get the chance as well. Mom would love that. Thank you again.
I am going to close this letter for the night. I am going to call it a night & go relax & head to bed as I have class in the morning. I love you more than all the stars in the sky. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Mom will whisper to you later this evening so hope you hear my voice. Smile & I will too. I will be back tomorrow night so until then.... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, July 29, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom knows that you don't celebrate Birthdays anymore but here in the physical world we still do. Today is July 29th... It is your Birthday. You would have been 27 years old today. Mom has had some moments where I have gotten sad & shed a few tears but I am trying to be stronger than I really feel. I know you don't want to see Mom sad so I am trying so hard not to be. There are many of Mom's friends, our friends & family that have wished you a Happy Birthday today. I hope you have been able to somehow see them all on Mom's page. Every one of them have put a smile on my face. You were so loved by so many & you still are. At least Mom knows she did something right.
Today Mark & Mom just took off for the day & went on a road trip. We went too Seekonk, MA & around the Attleboro, MA area where we used to live when you were just a few months old. I haven't been back there in 26 years. It was nice to go. There was a store Mom loved to shop at in Texas & I had no idea there was one so close by. It took about 45 minutes to get there. The weather was nice too. It was overcast & at times it rained but the temp was 70 degrees. When we arrived at our destination Mom looked at the clock & it was exactly 12:12 pm... I knew that was a sign telling me that you were right there as that was the exact time you were born 27 years ago. Mom was a little emotional but I did keep it together quite well. I also got emotional as we were in the store because I saw this Jack thing you would have loved. It was one of those Halloween blow ups... where you plug in & they inflate & then unplug & they deflate. I have never ever seen a Jack one. Mom went to go get it & there were none. I was so bummed out. I wanted to get it & use it just for you. Now that I know they make them I will be on the look out for one for sure!
Mom really has no updates for you as we haven't been home really. I will be sure to touch base with everyone tomorrow when I get home from running errands during the day. I did chat with Uncle Dick, Aunt Jacqui & Andrea yesterday. Meme called & so did Grandpa. I don't think I have told you yet but it is now in the open for everyone that they wanted to tell I think so I guess I can fill you in on it now too..... Grandpa & Debbie are getting married! That is right...married! Mom was so surprised as Grandpa said he would never get married again but after all these years he has had a change of hearts. The date is set for September 30th. That is right in between both their birthdays. Mom is happy for them both. They have asked Mark & I to stand up for them as a Best Man & Matron of Honor. We were very surprised by that as well but very honored. Mom is also helping them with getting everything they will need for their day. I will be doing some of the food & making all the centerpieces for the tables. Mom is glad to do that as I really love doing these things. I should have been a Wedding Planner...lol! Mom will keep you posted about there progress with this as I know.
Mom wrote this on social media today & wanted to share it on here as well for you:
Oh Tyler, another year & another one of the many emotional days for Mom. Today, 27 years ago I gave birth to the most precious baby ever..you! I didn't know what life would be like with you in it & I sure know what it is like to not have you here. I know that things have to be different now, you know why that is & someday I will too. I wish that I could see your face once again, see your smile, give you a hug & a kiss, talk to you & hold your hand, but I can't any longer. What I can do & will always do is hold you in my heart forever, laugh & smile at the memories of all the times we shared together. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Happy Heavenly Birthday to you my sweet precious son! I hope that your day is special in all the ways you want. I am sure that you are celebrating with many in the Heavens above. Continue to fly high & fly free. Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah ♡♡♡ I hope that you like it. I put a couple pictures on my social media page as well for you. I will post them on here tonight as well. Enjoy them & I hope that you smile when you read them too.
Here is a daily prayer for you today: May the Lord bless you & protect you. May the Lord smile on you & be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor & give you his peace. Amen.
Here are a couple inspirational quotes for you as well:
" The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving. "
" If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. "
speaking of candles.... Mom will be lighting one for you tonight & letting it burn until we go to bed. Know that is for you my sweet precious son! Mom will whisper to you as I always do each night so hope you can hear me. Smile & Mm will too. I miss you so much & days like this make it harder for me & let me know that the reality is so real that you are gone. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You live inside my heart, mind, body & soul forever. You are Mom's hero & the wind beneath my wings. Never forget that or stop feeling that deep in your soul. Mom is hoping that your evening will be everything you need & want it to be. Hope you get to have fun while I am sleeping. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you. Mom will be back again tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....Good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom knows that you don't celebrate Birthdays anymore but here in the physical world we still do. Today is July 29th... It is your Birthday. You would have been 27 years old today. Mom has had some moments where I have gotten sad & shed a few tears but I am trying to be stronger than I really feel. I know you don't want to see Mom sad so I am trying so hard not to be. There are many of Mom's friends, our friends & family that have wished you a Happy Birthday today. I hope you have been able to somehow see them all on Mom's page. Every one of them have put a smile on my face. You were so loved by so many & you still are. At least Mom knows she did something right.
Today Mark & Mom just took off for the day & went on a road trip. We went too Seekonk, MA & around the Attleboro, MA area where we used to live when you were just a few months old. I haven't been back there in 26 years. It was nice to go. There was a store Mom loved to shop at in Texas & I had no idea there was one so close by. It took about 45 minutes to get there. The weather was nice too. It was overcast & at times it rained but the temp was 70 degrees. When we arrived at our destination Mom looked at the clock & it was exactly 12:12 pm... I knew that was a sign telling me that you were right there as that was the exact time you were born 27 years ago. Mom was a little emotional but I did keep it together quite well. I also got emotional as we were in the store because I saw this Jack thing you would have loved. It was one of those Halloween blow ups... where you plug in & they inflate & then unplug & they deflate. I have never ever seen a Jack one. Mom went to go get it & there were none. I was so bummed out. I wanted to get it & use it just for you. Now that I know they make them I will be on the look out for one for sure!
Mom really has no updates for you as we haven't been home really. I will be sure to touch base with everyone tomorrow when I get home from running errands during the day. I did chat with Uncle Dick, Aunt Jacqui & Andrea yesterday. Meme called & so did Grandpa. I don't think I have told you yet but it is now in the open for everyone that they wanted to tell I think so I guess I can fill you in on it now too..... Grandpa & Debbie are getting married! That is right...married! Mom was so surprised as Grandpa said he would never get married again but after all these years he has had a change of hearts. The date is set for September 30th. That is right in between both their birthdays. Mom is happy for them both. They have asked Mark & I to stand up for them as a Best Man & Matron of Honor. We were very surprised by that as well but very honored. Mom is also helping them with getting everything they will need for their day. I will be doing some of the food & making all the centerpieces for the tables. Mom is glad to do that as I really love doing these things. I should have been a Wedding Planner...lol! Mom will keep you posted about there progress with this as I know.
Mom wrote this on social media today & wanted to share it on here as well for you:
Oh Tyler, another year & another one of the many emotional days for Mom. Today, 27 years ago I gave birth to the most precious baby ever..you! I didn't know what life would be like with you in it & I sure know what it is like to not have you here. I know that things have to be different now, you know why that is & someday I will too. I wish that I could see your face once again, see your smile, give you a hug & a kiss, talk to you & hold your hand, but I can't any longer. What I can do & will always do is hold you in my heart forever, laugh & smile at the memories of all the times we shared together. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Happy Heavenly Birthday to you my sweet precious son! I hope that your day is special in all the ways you want. I am sure that you are celebrating with many in the Heavens above. Continue to fly high & fly free. Always, Mom xoxoxo. Muah ♡♡♡ I hope that you like it. I put a couple pictures on my social media page as well for you. I will post them on here tonight as well. Enjoy them & I hope that you smile when you read them too.
Here is a daily prayer for you today: May the Lord bless you & protect you. May the Lord smile on you & be gracious to you. May the Lord show you his favor & give you his peace. Amen.
Here are a couple inspirational quotes for you as well:
" The great thing in this world is not so much where we are, but in what direction we are moving. "
" If you have knowledge, let others light their candles in it. "
speaking of candles.... Mom will be lighting one for you tonight & letting it burn until we go to bed. Know that is for you my sweet precious son! Mom will whisper to you as I always do each night so hope you can hear me. Smile & Mm will too. I miss you so much & days like this make it harder for me & let me know that the reality is so real that you are gone. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You live inside my heart, mind, body & soul forever. You are Mom's hero & the wind beneath my wings. Never forget that or stop feeling that deep in your soul. Mom is hoping that your evening will be everything you need & want it to be. Hope you get to have fun while I am sleeping. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you. Mom will be back again tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....Good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, July 28, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is pretty emotional today if I am being honest with you. My head isn't where it should be & because of that I haven't studied at all today or all week for that matter. I was waiting for my books to show up today but they still are not here so I am not sure what is going on with that. Guess I will start fresh next Monday & give myself the weekend to regroup. That is probably for the best anyways. You are probably wondering why I am emotional, huh? Well......
I don't even know where to start or if I will make any sense to what I write to you. Mom is having a hard time as tomorrow, ( Saturday ) July 29th you would have turned 27 years old. Another day that does not get any easier for Mom. I remember being told that I was pregnant & I had 1 1/2 months left before you were coming. You were suppose to be a July 4th baby but decide you were cozy & comfy & wanted to wait almost 10 months to enter this world. I look back at it now & I giggle but I wasn't then.. it was an extremely hot summer & I was ready & eager to meet you. You gave me one heck of a hard time. After 24 hrs of labor & 12 hours of it was " hard labor " you decided that you still didn't want to come out so I ended up having an emergency c-section because we were both tired & in distress.
I remember the 1st time I saw your face. I wondered if I was going to be a good Mommy to you, did I know how to as I was only 19 years old. I shed many of tears as I wanted to do all the right things but knew I would somehow make many mistakes along the way. It's funny because I never wanted to be a Mom when I was growing up & when someone asked me if I would ever have children I would say " Nope. " but now that is the 1 thing I miss the most...being a Mom. When you got sick in June of 1994.... our worlds were shattered but through the years we were each others strengths to get through it all. We learned along the way, we made mistakes, I made wrong choices that I thought were the best for you. God know how much I miss you. I didn't think that June 2013 I would have to say goodbye to you. That is a decision that will haunt Mom for the rest of my life. I relive it over & over again in my mind. Since that day Mom is not the same person & I will never be that person again. She left this world when you did. No one should ever have to make the decisions I had to. No parent should ever have to lose their child no matter what age they are. It is not right. It is not the Circle of Life. I hate the fact that I can't ever see you again, hear your voice, see your smile, touch your sweet face. I love you so much. You were my world. You were my everything. You still are. Nothing will ever change that.
I know that you don't celebrate Birthdays anymore but Mom is still going to wish you a Happy Heavenly Early Birthday. You are on my mind a lot these last few days. You are forever in my heart mind & soul. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings.
I love you. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond & more than all the stars in the sky.
The years are going by but it is not getting easier for Mom & I don't think it ever will. Mom tries to be strong & sometimes I succeed at it & other times I don't. All I can do is just try my hardest. I know you see the struggles I go through & I know you don't like seeing it at all but it is still part of my grieving process. I will do better in the days to come to be more happier & smile more for you. Mom promises you this!
Today has been a very quiet day for Mom. Mark went to the office all day long & is still gone. Pups are sleeping & being quiet for a change...lol. Mom did take them for a nice walk earlier & then went to my neighbors to feed her cat & water all her plants again. That was the last time though as she will be back later this evening. Mom enjoyed doing it for her. I wish I could grow things & plants & not kill them like I do. I did try recently to grow a palm tree but that did not work & it ended up like your cactus did. Mom definitely did not inherit the green thumb like Aunt Beck did. Oh well...at least I am still trying...lol! Mom spoke to Meme earlier. She was saying that Bob's appointment was not at DHMC today it was just with his PCP. Guess Mom got confused with that. She said that Bob has lost 4 lbs since last week but his blood pressure is still really high. He is sleeping a lot more than he should be too. He does have a DHMC appointment next month. Mom tried calling Aunt Beck today but I guess I missed them & they already headed out for there vacation. Grandpa called last night & we spoke for a bit. All is well with him & Debbie. Mom is sure to chat with them again during the weekend. We have a skype call this Sunday too with Tubal & Karen. Mark & Mom will be taking it easy for the weekend as Mark has a pretty brutal week coming up for work. He will be doing some major traveling & long long hours. Mom is trying not to worry about that but you know me! Think that is all I have for updates today so here is your daily prayers :
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is pretty emotional today if I am being honest with you. My head isn't where it should be & because of that I haven't studied at all today or all week for that matter. I was waiting for my books to show up today but they still are not here so I am not sure what is going on with that. Guess I will start fresh next Monday & give myself the weekend to regroup. That is probably for the best anyways. You are probably wondering why I am emotional, huh? Well......
I don't even know where to start or if I will make any sense to what I write to you. Mom is having a hard time as tomorrow, ( Saturday ) July 29th you would have turned 27 years old. Another day that does not get any easier for Mom. I remember being told that I was pregnant & I had 1 1/2 months left before you were coming. You were suppose to be a July 4th baby but decide you were cozy & comfy & wanted to wait almost 10 months to enter this world. I look back at it now & I giggle but I wasn't then.. it was an extremely hot summer & I was ready & eager to meet you. You gave me one heck of a hard time. After 24 hrs of labor & 12 hours of it was " hard labor " you decided that you still didn't want to come out so I ended up having an emergency c-section because we were both tired & in distress.
I remember the 1st time I saw your face. I wondered if I was going to be a good Mommy to you, did I know how to as I was only 19 years old. I shed many of tears as I wanted to do all the right things but knew I would somehow make many mistakes along the way. It's funny because I never wanted to be a Mom when I was growing up & when someone asked me if I would ever have children I would say " Nope. " but now that is the 1 thing I miss the most...being a Mom. When you got sick in June of 1994.... our worlds were shattered but through the years we were each others strengths to get through it all. We learned along the way, we made mistakes, I made wrong choices that I thought were the best for you. God know how much I miss you. I didn't think that June 2013 I would have to say goodbye to you. That is a decision that will haunt Mom for the rest of my life. I relive it over & over again in my mind. Since that day Mom is not the same person & I will never be that person again. She left this world when you did. No one should ever have to make the decisions I had to. No parent should ever have to lose their child no matter what age they are. It is not right. It is not the Circle of Life. I hate the fact that I can't ever see you again, hear your voice, see your smile, touch your sweet face. I love you so much. You were my world. You were my everything. You still are. Nothing will ever change that.
I know that you don't celebrate Birthdays anymore but Mom is still going to wish you a Happy Heavenly Early Birthday. You are on my mind a lot these last few days. You are forever in my heart mind & soul. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings.
I love you. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond & more than all the stars in the sky.
The years are going by but it is not getting easier for Mom & I don't think it ever will. Mom tries to be strong & sometimes I succeed at it & other times I don't. All I can do is just try my hardest. I know you see the struggles I go through & I know you don't like seeing it at all but it is still part of my grieving process. I will do better in the days to come to be more happier & smile more for you. Mom promises you this!
Today has been a very quiet day for Mom. Mark went to the office all day long & is still gone. Pups are sleeping & being quiet for a change...lol. Mom did take them for a nice walk earlier & then went to my neighbors to feed her cat & water all her plants again. That was the last time though as she will be back later this evening. Mom enjoyed doing it for her. I wish I could grow things & plants & not kill them like I do. I did try recently to grow a palm tree but that did not work & it ended up like your cactus did. Mom definitely did not inherit the green thumb like Aunt Beck did. Oh well...at least I am still trying...lol! Mom spoke to Meme earlier. She was saying that Bob's appointment was not at DHMC today it was just with his PCP. Guess Mom got confused with that. She said that Bob has lost 4 lbs since last week but his blood pressure is still really high. He is sleeping a lot more than he should be too. He does have a DHMC appointment next month. Mom tried calling Aunt Beck today but I guess I missed them & they already headed out for there vacation. Grandpa called last night & we spoke for a bit. All is well with him & Debbie. Mom is sure to chat with them again during the weekend. We have a skype call this Sunday too with Tubal & Karen. Mark & Mom will be taking it easy for the weekend as Mark has a pretty brutal week coming up for work. He will be doing some major traveling & long long hours. Mom is trying not to worry about that but you know me! Think that is all I have for updates today so here is your daily prayers :
May you determine to be done with captivity! No more rehearsing your failures or rehashing your critics’ accusations. It’s time to remember God’s love, His faithfulness, and His heart of affection for you. It’s time to put all of your hope in the finished work of Jesus Christ. May you put a flag in the ground this day and declare, ‘My hope is built on nothing less but Jesus’ blood and righteousness!’ Rest in God’s grace. Rely on His love. And rehearse His promises because they’re true for you. Break free from the bondage of others’ opinions and walk free and full of faith this night.
May you--above all else--see yourself as someone Jesus loves. May His affection for you heal you in the deepest ways and inspire you like nothing else ever has. May His saving grace and enabling power compel you to dream with Him, believe in Him, and take crazy-faith-steps because of Him. May every lesser voice and every lying circumstance fall by the wayside so that all you hear is His voice in your ear saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.' Nobody's opinion matters as much as God's. Nobody can save, heal, redeem, and refresh like Jesus. Walk intimately with Him today. His will for you is your best-case-scenario.
Here are a couple quick inspirational quotes for you as well:
" Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all other. "
" No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. "
Well, Tyler.... Mom needs to be going as I have a few things I need to get done before Mark gets home. I hope that your evening will be everything you need & would like it to be. Have fun while Mom sleeps tonight & if you can please come visit me. Thanks pumpkin! I will whisper to you later like I always do so hope you hear my voice. Smile & Mom will too. I will light a candle for you tonight as well. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then..... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
May you--above all else--see yourself as someone Jesus loves. May His affection for you heal you in the deepest ways and inspire you like nothing else ever has. May His saving grace and enabling power compel you to dream with Him, believe in Him, and take crazy-faith-steps because of Him. May every lesser voice and every lying circumstance fall by the wayside so that all you hear is His voice in your ear saying, 'This is the way, walk in it.' Nobody's opinion matters as much as God's. Nobody can save, heal, redeem, and refresh like Jesus. Walk intimately with Him today. His will for you is your best-case-scenario.
Here are a couple quick inspirational quotes for you as well:
" Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all other. "
" No trumpets sound when the important decisions of our life are made. Destiny is made known silently. "
Well, Tyler.... Mom needs to be going as I have a few things I need to get done before Mark gets home. I hope that your evening will be everything you need & would like it to be. Have fun while Mom sleeps tonight & if you can please come visit me. Thanks pumpkin! I will whisper to you later like I always do so hope you hear my voice. Smile & Mom will too. I will light a candle for you tonight as well. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then..... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, July 27, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing well but I am getting pretty tired all of a sudden. Must be because of the weather we are having. It started to rain this afternoon & clouded up again....looks like more rain ahead for us again & no sun. Today has not been a tremendous busy day at all. Mom was up early & did some housework. I needed to vacuum but I didn't get to that but will tomorrow while it is just me at home. Mom got her new vacuum yesterday as I broke the other one we had. Hopefully this one will work just as well as the other one....lol. I went out & got the packages that we had at our office, broke all the boxes down & through away all the garbage... sounds exciting, huh? It needed to get done so I would rather do it on a day like today than on a day that is hot & sunny. After I did that I took the pups for a walk. we got done just in time before it started to rain. That was pure luck on Mom's part! The afternoon was taken up by Mom being on the phone a few times with a couple businesses & then I spoke to Auntie Kristina. I haven't chatted with her in about a week. Mark was busy on the phones all afternoon with clients but did have time to take a lunch break & go & inspect my new vehicle. Now everything is legal beagle! Mom just got done feeding the pups for the night & I was really lazy & ordered Mark & I dinner as I was in no mood to cook tonight. That will be here in about 30 minutes. Not much else went on today but tomorrow Mom will be having her new books show up for school & it is back to the grind again. It was a nice 3 days off. I think sometimes I need that as I push myself too hard. Mom will be sure to keep you updated as I know of how Bob's appointment goes tomorrow & how Meme makes out with her hip. I was not able to connect with Aunt Beck at all so I am not thinking I will get the chance before they head out for there vacation. I was bummed but I am sure she was really busy getting things ready plus they had company this week for a couple days. I know I will chat with her when she gets back so that will be okay! I also know that you will be watching over them & all of us like you do all the time. I am sure you make sure we are all healthy & safe. Thank you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond forever & always!
Last night I was able to see a few stars but no moon or sunset. Not sure where the moon id hiding these days but I haven't seen it in like a month or more now. The night sky was neat last night though. It was completely cloudless all around except for this oblong cluster of clouds that were right about the city skyline. It was neat . I took some pictures but because it was dark they didn't really come out all that well. Mom knows I will not see anything tonight & the night sky will be here sooner. Mom is noticing again that the days are getting shorter & Fall is definitely coming. The sun used to set around 9 pm & now it is setting around 8:15 pm. That makes me sad as the days are just flying by & winter will be upon us before we know it...ugh! Anyways... Mom will be sure to whisper to you as I always do later tonight. I will have a candle burning for you. Hope you smile when you hear my voice & I will be sure to smile for you too. Mom hopes your night will be mixed up with things you need to do, learn, etc... plus things that you want to do. Have fun while I am sleeping tonight. Come visit me if you can. You know Mom loves it! Thanks pumpkin!
Before I close my letter to you tonight I will write the prayers for the day & also a couple short inspirational messages as well. Here they all are:
May you begin to live more by faith than you do by sight. May you trust-with your whole heart-that God has already gone ahead of you, cleared the way, established grace, and answered prayers before you even fully understood just what you'd needed. Jesus is profoundly invested in your journey. He merely spoke, and the heavens came to be. He speaks now on your behalf because He loves you and is invested in you. Don't look around for signs. Look up and rejoice because He's got you. Live by faith today, because one day, your faith will become sight and you'll be glad you trusted Him. Have a sturdy-hearted day. You're mighty in God!
This is for those who’ve walked a long road of heartbreak, sickness, insecurity, or addiction. For those who’ve gone too long without seeing the sun. For those who’ve lost heart and hope because the battle rages on. This blessing is for you: May you rest right here, in this place, and see Jesus’ provision here. May our mighty God roll up His sleeves, reach down from on high, and rescue YOU because He delights in you - He really does (Ps.18). May God break through in this very place and breathe fresh life into your soul. May your valley of weeping fill to the brim with pools of blessing (Ps.84:6). May Jesus lift your chin so you can look to Him and be RADIANT with no shred of shame on you (Ps.34:5). May Jesus restore your soul in a way that surprises and blesses you. And from one weary traveler to another: I DO believe and KNOW that God cares about our battle, intervenes in ways we cannot see, and will come through for us in ways that only He can. May you hang on and hang in there until then. We’re in this together.
" A Hero is a man who is afraid to run away "
" Our sorrows & wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion. "
I sure hope you like these prayers & the quotes that I write to you. I found a book that Mom had for some time when I was cleaning the other day & thought I would take them from there until the book was finished. It is something different. The prayers are coming from a lady that I follow on social media. I think they are nice.
Mom needs to get going as our dinner will be here in a few minutes & the pups will start barking as they usual do but i will be back again tomorrow with another one. Mom misses you so much. More than words & more then I can ever express. I know you feel it in your soul though & that is all that matters to Mom. Have a good night & sweet dreams, Tyler! Until tomorrow comes.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is doing well but I am getting pretty tired all of a sudden. Must be because of the weather we are having. It started to rain this afternoon & clouded up again....looks like more rain ahead for us again & no sun. Today has not been a tremendous busy day at all. Mom was up early & did some housework. I needed to vacuum but I didn't get to that but will tomorrow while it is just me at home. Mom got her new vacuum yesterday as I broke the other one we had. Hopefully this one will work just as well as the other one....lol. I went out & got the packages that we had at our office, broke all the boxes down & through away all the garbage... sounds exciting, huh? It needed to get done so I would rather do it on a day like today than on a day that is hot & sunny. After I did that I took the pups for a walk. we got done just in time before it started to rain. That was pure luck on Mom's part! The afternoon was taken up by Mom being on the phone a few times with a couple businesses & then I spoke to Auntie Kristina. I haven't chatted with her in about a week. Mark was busy on the phones all afternoon with clients but did have time to take a lunch break & go & inspect my new vehicle. Now everything is legal beagle! Mom just got done feeding the pups for the night & I was really lazy & ordered Mark & I dinner as I was in no mood to cook tonight. That will be here in about 30 minutes. Not much else went on today but tomorrow Mom will be having her new books show up for school & it is back to the grind again. It was a nice 3 days off. I think sometimes I need that as I push myself too hard. Mom will be sure to keep you updated as I know of how Bob's appointment goes tomorrow & how Meme makes out with her hip. I was not able to connect with Aunt Beck at all so I am not thinking I will get the chance before they head out for there vacation. I was bummed but I am sure she was really busy getting things ready plus they had company this week for a couple days. I know I will chat with her when she gets back so that will be okay! I also know that you will be watching over them & all of us like you do all the time. I am sure you make sure we are all healthy & safe. Thank you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond forever & always!
Last night I was able to see a few stars but no moon or sunset. Not sure where the moon id hiding these days but I haven't seen it in like a month or more now. The night sky was neat last night though. It was completely cloudless all around except for this oblong cluster of clouds that were right about the city skyline. It was neat . I took some pictures but because it was dark they didn't really come out all that well. Mom knows I will not see anything tonight & the night sky will be here sooner. Mom is noticing again that the days are getting shorter & Fall is definitely coming. The sun used to set around 9 pm & now it is setting around 8:15 pm. That makes me sad as the days are just flying by & winter will be upon us before we know it...ugh! Anyways... Mom will be sure to whisper to you as I always do later tonight. I will have a candle burning for you. Hope you smile when you hear my voice & I will be sure to smile for you too. Mom hopes your night will be mixed up with things you need to do, learn, etc... plus things that you want to do. Have fun while I am sleeping tonight. Come visit me if you can. You know Mom loves it! Thanks pumpkin!
Before I close my letter to you tonight I will write the prayers for the day & also a couple short inspirational messages as well. Here they all are:
May you begin to live more by faith than you do by sight. May you trust-with your whole heart-that God has already gone ahead of you, cleared the way, established grace, and answered prayers before you even fully understood just what you'd needed. Jesus is profoundly invested in your journey. He merely spoke, and the heavens came to be. He speaks now on your behalf because He loves you and is invested in you. Don't look around for signs. Look up and rejoice because He's got you. Live by faith today, because one day, your faith will become sight and you'll be glad you trusted Him. Have a sturdy-hearted day. You're mighty in God!
This is for those who’ve walked a long road of heartbreak, sickness, insecurity, or addiction. For those who’ve gone too long without seeing the sun. For those who’ve lost heart and hope because the battle rages on. This blessing is for you: May you rest right here, in this place, and see Jesus’ provision here. May our mighty God roll up His sleeves, reach down from on high, and rescue YOU because He delights in you - He really does (Ps.18). May God break through in this very place and breathe fresh life into your soul. May your valley of weeping fill to the brim with pools of blessing (Ps.84:6). May Jesus lift your chin so you can look to Him and be RADIANT with no shred of shame on you (Ps.34:5). May Jesus restore your soul in a way that surprises and blesses you. And from one weary traveler to another: I DO believe and KNOW that God cares about our battle, intervenes in ways we cannot see, and will come through for us in ways that only He can. May you hang on and hang in there until then. We’re in this together.
" A Hero is a man who is afraid to run away "
" Our sorrows & wounds are healed only when we touch them with compassion. "
I sure hope you like these prayers & the quotes that I write to you. I found a book that Mom had for some time when I was cleaning the other day & thought I would take them from there until the book was finished. It is something different. The prayers are coming from a lady that I follow on social media. I think they are nice.
Mom needs to get going as our dinner will be here in a few minutes & the pups will start barking as they usual do but i will be back again tomorrow with another one. Mom misses you so much. More than words & more then I can ever express. I know you feel it in your soul though & that is all that matters to Mom. Have a good night & sweet dreams, Tyler! Until tomorrow comes.....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, July 26, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing much better today! I got some sleep last night which felt great & I was up early doing all kinds of things! I fed the pups, made a macaroni salad for part of our dinner tonight, got ready, made the bed, did the dusting, took the pups out for a walk, went over to my neighbors & fed & gave her cat water & watered all her plants ( think there is about 40 ), did laundry, made breakfast, cut up some fruit for snacks for me, gathered the trash & took it down to the dumpsters, folded the laundry, paid bills & now I am writing to you. Mom noticed I can get so much done if I am up earlier in the morning & honestly it feels great. I feel like I can get so much more accomplished. Mom however did not study like I thought that I would. I have decided that I will wait for my books to show up in the mail on Friday instead of trying to do everything online. Mom does better if I have the books in front of me. It is a bummer that I have to go 3 days without studying but in the end my grades will be better!
Mark went to his appointment this morning. He says that it went well so I am hoping that all works out in his favor this time. He should hear something within the next week or so. He will be very busy again for the next couple days & then hopefully he will be able to relax over the weekend because next week is another busy one for him. Meme called this afternoon. I thought Bob's appointment was on Thursday but I guess I misunderstood as it is on Friday. She was saying he has his days....more bad than good I am afraid. Maybe this doctors visit will go well for him & he will get some answers. My fingers are crossed for him too. Meme was saying that her hip is still really bothering her so she is going to go have a x-ray done to see what is going on. Hope everything is okay with her. Mom spoke to Grandpa last night for a few. Things are busy with him & Debbie but they are doing well. Grandpa is setting up his shed the way he wants it & they are getting ready to have a carport put in. There is some exciting news that will be happening at the end of September so you will have to stay tuned for that as Mom is not allowed to say anything until it gets closer! Mom still has not had a chance to speak to Bean but I have texted her. I will try to get in touch with Aunt Beck either later today or tomorrow as they are leaving I believe on Friday for a couple weeks. Other than that not much else is going on. Mom has spoken to a few friends here & there. Nothing is new with them. Just life & being busy. That is all I have for updates for the day but I do have a couple prayers for you so here they are:May you look around and notice all of the answers to prayer you enjoy because of prayers you prayed some time ago. May the breakthroughs you've experienced and the open doors you've walked through compel you to pray with more fervency, specificity, and tenacity. God loves your faith. He loves your heart. He loves it when you pray. He's very protective of you and won't give you something that's not good for you. He makes you wait because He's making you ready. Trust your whole soul and story to Him. And keep praying. God is moving, even when you can't see it. One day, your faith will become sight. A blessed, beautiful, and prayerful day to you today!
May you sense God's invitation to believe Him for something more, something greater, something deeper. He's always on the move and He invites you to move with Him. As He shows you areas of your life where you struggle with unbelief, may you refuse despair, and instead respond in prayer: "Lord, awaken fresh faith in me!" He holds out His hand and bids you to walk on the water with Him, to trust Him for what breaks your heart, and to believe that some of those dreams in your heart were put there by Him. Look up and trust Him today. He is faithful to His Word and He's made specific promise to you. Have a blessed and beautiful night!
Here are a couple inspirational messages for you as well: It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
Beauty & Grace command the world.Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
Mom can't believe just how fast the day is flying by today. I have a couple hours before I need to start with the night routine with getting the pups fed & making dinner for Mark & I. Maybe I will go outside & just sit for a bit on the balcony. The air is warm & the skies are blue. The sun is shining bright. Mom is a happy gal right now. Maybe just maybe tonight while the skies are clear I will get to see a pretty sunset, the moon & the stars. I will be looking later for sure. I will also whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Mom will smile & I am pretty sure you are smiling back at me too. I miss you bunches & bunches. More than words can say my sweet precious son. Mom loves you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond & more than all the stars in the sky. You are my everything still. Always have been & always will. Nothing will change that. You are my hero for life & the wind beneath my wings. You will forever live & be inside my heart, mind, body & soul.
Mom hopes that your evening will be whatever you need it to be. May you have fun doing things you need to & want to do while I am sleeping. Come visit if you can. You know Mom loves when you do! I will be back tomorrow with another letter so until than... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing much better today! I got some sleep last night which felt great & I was up early doing all kinds of things! I fed the pups, made a macaroni salad for part of our dinner tonight, got ready, made the bed, did the dusting, took the pups out for a walk, went over to my neighbors & fed & gave her cat water & watered all her plants ( think there is about 40 ), did laundry, made breakfast, cut up some fruit for snacks for me, gathered the trash & took it down to the dumpsters, folded the laundry, paid bills & now I am writing to you. Mom noticed I can get so much done if I am up earlier in the morning & honestly it feels great. I feel like I can get so much more accomplished. Mom however did not study like I thought that I would. I have decided that I will wait for my books to show up in the mail on Friday instead of trying to do everything online. Mom does better if I have the books in front of me. It is a bummer that I have to go 3 days without studying but in the end my grades will be better!
Mark went to his appointment this morning. He says that it went well so I am hoping that all works out in his favor this time. He should hear something within the next week or so. He will be very busy again for the next couple days & then hopefully he will be able to relax over the weekend because next week is another busy one for him. Meme called this afternoon. I thought Bob's appointment was on Thursday but I guess I misunderstood as it is on Friday. She was saying he has his days....more bad than good I am afraid. Maybe this doctors visit will go well for him & he will get some answers. My fingers are crossed for him too. Meme was saying that her hip is still really bothering her so she is going to go have a x-ray done to see what is going on. Hope everything is okay with her. Mom spoke to Grandpa last night for a few. Things are busy with him & Debbie but they are doing well. Grandpa is setting up his shed the way he wants it & they are getting ready to have a carport put in. There is some exciting news that will be happening at the end of September so you will have to stay tuned for that as Mom is not allowed to say anything until it gets closer! Mom still has not had a chance to speak to Bean but I have texted her. I will try to get in touch with Aunt Beck either later today or tomorrow as they are leaving I believe on Friday for a couple weeks. Other than that not much else is going on. Mom has spoken to a few friends here & there. Nothing is new with them. Just life & being busy. That is all I have for updates for the day but I do have a couple prayers for you so here they are:May you look around and notice all of the answers to prayer you enjoy because of prayers you prayed some time ago. May the breakthroughs you've experienced and the open doors you've walked through compel you to pray with more fervency, specificity, and tenacity. God loves your faith. He loves your heart. He loves it when you pray. He's very protective of you and won't give you something that's not good for you. He makes you wait because He's making you ready. Trust your whole soul and story to Him. And keep praying. God is moving, even when you can't see it. One day, your faith will become sight. A blessed, beautiful, and prayerful day to you today!
May you sense God's invitation to believe Him for something more, something greater, something deeper. He's always on the move and He invites you to move with Him. As He shows you areas of your life where you struggle with unbelief, may you refuse despair, and instead respond in prayer: "Lord, awaken fresh faith in me!" He holds out His hand and bids you to walk on the water with Him, to trust Him for what breaks your heart, and to believe that some of those dreams in your heart were put there by Him. Look up and trust Him today. He is faithful to His Word and He's made specific promise to you. Have a blessed and beautiful night!
Here are a couple inspirational messages for you as well: It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare, it is because we do not dare that they are difficult.
Beauty & Grace command the world.Simplicity is making the journey of this life with just baggage enough.
Mom can't believe just how fast the day is flying by today. I have a couple hours before I need to start with the night routine with getting the pups fed & making dinner for Mark & I. Maybe I will go outside & just sit for a bit on the balcony. The air is warm & the skies are blue. The sun is shining bright. Mom is a happy gal right now. Maybe just maybe tonight while the skies are clear I will get to see a pretty sunset, the moon & the stars. I will be looking later for sure. I will also whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for my voice. Mom will smile & I am pretty sure you are smiling back at me too. I miss you bunches & bunches. More than words can say my sweet precious son. Mom loves you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond & more than all the stars in the sky. You are my everything still. Always have been & always will. Nothing will change that. You are my hero for life & the wind beneath my wings. You will forever live & be inside my heart, mind, body & soul.
Mom hopes that your evening will be whatever you need it to be. May you have fun doing things you need to & want to do while I am sleeping. Come visit if you can. You know Mom loves when you do! I will be back tomorrow with another letter so until than... good night & sweet dreams.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, July 25, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is so sorry for the short letter last night but Monday definitely was not my day & neither is today really. Mom went to bed at 9 pm last night & I slept but I woke up very early this morning again & I am just so tired again. This weather is not helping Mom at all either. It is day 2 of having 58 degree temps with rain & wind. Mom needs Vitamin C & the sun shining & I will be back to normal again. I did try to do some of my studying but as I got deeper into the chapter I knew I should not be doing this today because my head is not in it so I stopped for the day. I will start it back up tomorrow though. This class will be interesting to say the least. Not sure if I am going to like it or not. Too early to tell right now but by looking at it, it is not what I expected it to be. Oh well... it is a class I have to do to graduate. I know you will continue to be with me through it all & Mom sure does thank you bunches.
Mark is back where he was yesterday for work again today. Mom thinks it is too much for 2 days to do all that driving & all that work. I try not to worry so much but I can't help it at all. I do & I always will. You know Mom. I just have to stay silent & observe it all & not say a word. Mark thinks I nag all the time about his job but I don't. I just wish he would start seeing what I do. I wish he would see just what this job of his is doing to him. It makes Mom very sad too. Tomorrow he has another important appointment & I hope this one goes better for him. My fingers are crossed. We need some good news! Anything you can do for Mark & for Mom would be much appreciated, Ty! Thanks pumpkin! Bob goes back to the doctors in 2 days. Meme says he is not getting better. I hope the doctors come up with something as Bob needs to get better. meme needs to get better as well as her hip is still giving her problems. Please watch over them both for Mom. I can only do so much from where I am. Thanks my sweet precious son! Yesterday Mom fell when she was getting in the shower. I hurt my right leg & knee. I have a big bruise & 2 smaller ones.... leave it to me huh? Just call me Grace....lol! That is all the updates I have for you today. Not many at all but Mom has had a couple of really quiet days. Maybe tonight I will chat with Grandpa & tomorrow I will try to get in touch with Aunt Beck seeings how they will be taken off on Friday for a couple weeks. Mom will keep you posted! Tonight is going to be another early night as Mom needs to get more sleep. Tomorrow I need to get back into my study mode again. I think it is going to be partly sunny so that will help my cloudy head & crappy attitude that I have had for the last 2 days. I think Mom is also feeling the way I am because in 4 days... on Saturday it will be your Birthday. That is a day we always celebrated together with so many family & friends. I miss doing those things with you. I miss the times we got to share together. I miss all those days. I miss you so much. Mom has been talking to you today....have you heard my voice? I sure hope so. I will whisper to you again later tonight too so be listening out for my voice. I love you bunches. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I never want you to forget that or not feel it deep within your soul. Here are your prayers for the day: May you determine to travel lighter starting now. . May you—with your God-given authority in Christ—demand that the enemy shut his mouth and leave you alone. May you discern the baggage of man-made obligations and lay it down. May you decide to fling aside your own self-condemning thoughts and wrap yourself up in God’s beautiful grace and righteousness instead. And, may you march on from here, full of faith, empowered by grace, and awakened by God’s love, and walk as one who’s been spoken for by God above. May your latter days be far more blessed than your former days. Jesus is always up to something new. Bless your day!
May you refuse condemnation for the ways you fail and fall short of God's best for you. May you, instead, embrace holy conviction to walk like Christ and to fully enjoy your journey with Him. May you shake off your regrets and grab a firm hold of God's promise to forgive, restore, and renew your story. May others' opinions no longer tie you up in knots because God's opinion continually sets you free! May you determine-with all your heart-to live the abundant, powerful, forgiven life Jesus has offered you. Have a blessed night!
Here are a couple inspirational quotes for you today as well: All it takes is one bloom of hope to make a spiritual garden.
I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
Mom is surprised to see that is only 3:15 pm in the afternoon when it feels like it is 9 pm. That is how tired I am I guess. The pups are not having a good day either. Ozzy is jumping all over Mom while I am writing & Princess is laying on my computer desk. She was shaking early so I picked her up not knowing if she was going to have another seizure or not. Guess Mom will be calling it a day here on my computer & go lay on the couch with them. Maybe they will feel better then. Maybe Mom will take a cat nap as well. Mark won't get home until late again tonight so it will be feeding the pups & making dinner for one again. Mom hopes you have a good night. Have fun doing all kinds of things that you need to & want to. May you get the chance to come visit me in my dreams or sit beside me tonight while I am sleeping. Mom doubts that I will see anything in the sky tonight besides thick rainy clouds but I will look as I always do. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....good night & sweet dreams, Tyler! I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is so sorry for the short letter last night but Monday definitely was not my day & neither is today really. Mom went to bed at 9 pm last night & I slept but I woke up very early this morning again & I am just so tired again. This weather is not helping Mom at all either. It is day 2 of having 58 degree temps with rain & wind. Mom needs Vitamin C & the sun shining & I will be back to normal again. I did try to do some of my studying but as I got deeper into the chapter I knew I should not be doing this today because my head is not in it so I stopped for the day. I will start it back up tomorrow though. This class will be interesting to say the least. Not sure if I am going to like it or not. Too early to tell right now but by looking at it, it is not what I expected it to be. Oh well... it is a class I have to do to graduate. I know you will continue to be with me through it all & Mom sure does thank you bunches.
Mark is back where he was yesterday for work again today. Mom thinks it is too much for 2 days to do all that driving & all that work. I try not to worry so much but I can't help it at all. I do & I always will. You know Mom. I just have to stay silent & observe it all & not say a word. Mark thinks I nag all the time about his job but I don't. I just wish he would start seeing what I do. I wish he would see just what this job of his is doing to him. It makes Mom very sad too. Tomorrow he has another important appointment & I hope this one goes better for him. My fingers are crossed. We need some good news! Anything you can do for Mark & for Mom would be much appreciated, Ty! Thanks pumpkin! Bob goes back to the doctors in 2 days. Meme says he is not getting better. I hope the doctors come up with something as Bob needs to get better. meme needs to get better as well as her hip is still giving her problems. Please watch over them both for Mom. I can only do so much from where I am. Thanks my sweet precious son! Yesterday Mom fell when she was getting in the shower. I hurt my right leg & knee. I have a big bruise & 2 smaller ones.... leave it to me huh? Just call me Grace....lol! That is all the updates I have for you today. Not many at all but Mom has had a couple of really quiet days. Maybe tonight I will chat with Grandpa & tomorrow I will try to get in touch with Aunt Beck seeings how they will be taken off on Friday for a couple weeks. Mom will keep you posted! Tonight is going to be another early night as Mom needs to get more sleep. Tomorrow I need to get back into my study mode again. I think it is going to be partly sunny so that will help my cloudy head & crappy attitude that I have had for the last 2 days. I think Mom is also feeling the way I am because in 4 days... on Saturday it will be your Birthday. That is a day we always celebrated together with so many family & friends. I miss doing those things with you. I miss the times we got to share together. I miss all those days. I miss you so much. Mom has been talking to you today....have you heard my voice? I sure hope so. I will whisper to you again later tonight too so be listening out for my voice. I love you bunches. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I never want you to forget that or not feel it deep within your soul. Here are your prayers for the day: May you determine to travel lighter starting now. . May you—with your God-given authority in Christ—demand that the enemy shut his mouth and leave you alone. May you discern the baggage of man-made obligations and lay it down. May you decide to fling aside your own self-condemning thoughts and wrap yourself up in God’s beautiful grace and righteousness instead. And, may you march on from here, full of faith, empowered by grace, and awakened by God’s love, and walk as one who’s been spoken for by God above. May your latter days be far more blessed than your former days. Jesus is always up to something new. Bless your day!
May you refuse condemnation for the ways you fail and fall short of God's best for you. May you, instead, embrace holy conviction to walk like Christ and to fully enjoy your journey with Him. May you shake off your regrets and grab a firm hold of God's promise to forgive, restore, and renew your story. May others' opinions no longer tie you up in knots because God's opinion continually sets you free! May you determine-with all your heart-to live the abundant, powerful, forgiven life Jesus has offered you. Have a blessed night!
Here are a couple inspirational quotes for you today as well: All it takes is one bloom of hope to make a spiritual garden.
I will love the light for it shows me the way. Yet I will endure the darkness for it shows me the stars.
Mom is surprised to see that is only 3:15 pm in the afternoon when it feels like it is 9 pm. That is how tired I am I guess. The pups are not having a good day either. Ozzy is jumping all over Mom while I am writing & Princess is laying on my computer desk. She was shaking early so I picked her up not knowing if she was going to have another seizure or not. Guess Mom will be calling it a day here on my computer & go lay on the couch with them. Maybe they will feel better then. Maybe Mom will take a cat nap as well. Mark won't get home until late again tonight so it will be feeding the pups & making dinner for one again. Mom hopes you have a good night. Have fun doing all kinds of things that you need to & want to. May you get the chance to come visit me in my dreams or sit beside me tonight while I am sleeping. Mom doubts that I will see anything in the sky tonight besides thick rainy clouds but I will look as I always do. I will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....good night & sweet dreams, Tyler! I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, July 24, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is very tired tonight because she was up at 5 am when Mark had to leave to travel to his client that was 4 hours away from where we live. Mom did not get the chance to go back to bed & sleep because the pups wouldn't let me.... ugh! Anyways, Mom did not even start her new class today as so did not think it would be a smart idea with being so tired so I will start it tomorrow. I did however do some cleaning up in the apartment. I got rid of 2 bags of things that we were just keeping around that we didn't use or need. It felt great to purge that stuff. Along the way, Mom found so many pictures & a few items that were yours. They made me smile & I did get a little testy eyed at times. I talked to you a lot through the day... did you hear Mom? I hope so! I will whisper to you again later tonight before I go to bed. Sorry about the different font on your letter but Mom is not on her computer. I haven't turned it on at all today. I am using my phone to write to you tonight. It will be back to normal tomorrow'.
The weather today has been so awful. We have had heavy rain & the wind is whipping. It has been about 30 mph or more. It is just a howling out there. The temp is only in the high 50's too. This is not July weather at all. It is more like March weather. I guess tomorrow is going to be the same way. Mom is not liking that at all. Winter will be coming soon enough so I don't want to rush it!
Mom didn't talk to anyone today so I have no updates for you at all tonight. Maybe I will chat with everyone for a bit tomorrow during the day & in the evening as well. Mark is gone all day tomorrow too. Busy week for him & next week looks to be even busier. Don't know how that is possible but it is. Please just watch over him & Mom. I really need you by my side. Thanks Ty!
This is very difficult to write on my phone & my eyes are so tired so Mom is going to get going but promises to write you a longer letter tomorrow night. I will include the prayer & inspiration message then too. I hope you have a fun night while Mom is sleeping. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Remember you live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my true hero & the wind beneath my wings. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I will be back tomorrow so until then good night & sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Monday afternoon? Mom is very tired tonight because she was up at 5 am when Mark had to leave to travel to his client that was 4 hours away from where we live. Mom did not get the chance to go back to bed & sleep because the pups wouldn't let me.... ugh! Anyways, Mom did not even start her new class today as so did not think it would be a smart idea with being so tired so I will start it tomorrow. I did however do some cleaning up in the apartment. I got rid of 2 bags of things that we were just keeping around that we didn't use or need. It felt great to purge that stuff. Along the way, Mom found so many pictures & a few items that were yours. They made me smile & I did get a little testy eyed at times. I talked to you a lot through the day... did you hear Mom? I hope so! I will whisper to you again later tonight before I go to bed. Sorry about the different font on your letter but Mom is not on her computer. I haven't turned it on at all today. I am using my phone to write to you tonight. It will be back to normal tomorrow'.
The weather today has been so awful. We have had heavy rain & the wind is whipping. It has been about 30 mph or more. It is just a howling out there. The temp is only in the high 50's too. This is not July weather at all. It is more like March weather. I guess tomorrow is going to be the same way. Mom is not liking that at all. Winter will be coming soon enough so I don't want to rush it!
Mom didn't talk to anyone today so I have no updates for you at all tonight. Maybe I will chat with everyone for a bit tomorrow during the day & in the evening as well. Mark is gone all day tomorrow too. Busy week for him & next week looks to be even busier. Don't know how that is possible but it is. Please just watch over him & Mom. I really need you by my side. Thanks Ty!
This is very difficult to write on my phone & my eyes are so tired so Mom is going to get going but promises to write you a longer letter tomorrow night. I will include the prayer & inspiration message then too. I hope you have a fun night while Mom is sleeping. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Remember you live inside my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my true hero & the wind beneath my wings. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I will be back tomorrow so until then good night & sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, July 23, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday early evening? Mom is not going to lie as I am tired as all h*ll! Yesterday was a very long day for Mark & Mom plus Mark's friend came with us & I am so grateful for that. It was a huge help. We started out in the morning around 9 am & it took us 3 hours to get to Hooksett, NH ( where the toll booth is ) when it should have been just an hour to get there. The traffic was terrible. Bumper to bumper almost the whole way there. We arrived in NH 5 hours later. We went & visited Meme, Bob, Grandpa & Debbie for a very very short time ( like 30 minutes each ) & then we hit the road again as we knew we would get stuck in traffic yet again coming back home. We did indeed get the traffic & it took us 4 hours to get to our apartment. Everyone was exhausted but it was a much needed trip there to go get the vehicle from Mark's other friend. It is a nice one indeed & it was very sweet of his friend to do what he is for us. Mom also came up to NH yesterday to visit you as in 6 days on the 29th you would have been 27 years old. Mom didn't stay nearly as long as I would have liked to but I did leave you you Birthday Angel. I hope you like it & no one steals it from you. Mom is going to ask someone to bring you a couple balloons on Saturday to put on your bench & Mom will send a couple up to you from here on Saturday as well. Hope you get them all & you float on them like you have done in the past! Today, Mark & Mom really didn't do a whole lot as far as going out. We cleaned the new vehicle & took it down to go get it washed. We needed to go grocery shopping & run errands but I said nope... I was too tired to do that. We came home & I went on line & order groceries & things we needed from Walmart. The convenience of technology these days is sometimes wonderful & yet sometimes a pain in the butt...lol! Mark's friend left around 12 noon. Mom got up & made them breakfast... your favorite.... pancakes & bacon. Mom thought of you as I was making it & it made me smile. I miss you so much. I miss the little things more than ever these days. I miss you, your face, your voice, your laugh, your smile. I miss everything & the days do not get easier I am afraid. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond!
Mom doesn't have much to update you on but what I do have is: Meme is in a lot of pain with her hip & back, Bob does not feel good at all & doesn't look good either. He can't hardly breathe & is so winded. He is retaining fluid & his legs & ankles are so swollen. Mom is so worried about him & Meme too. Grandpa & Debbie are doing good. She was headed out for work yesterday so I didn't see her all but 5 minutes. We got to see Grandpa's new shed that he bought. It is really a nice one & he is right proud of that thing...lol. Mark has an extremely busy week coming up & that worries Mom but I will do my best to just relax! Mom has a new class starting tomorrow as well. We shall see how that goes. Looks okay from what I have seen but I think it will be challenging as I go. Lots of writing in this one & the point value is really high so not much room to make a lot of mistakes. Good thing I have a lot of cushion with my grades for this class. Think I am going to need it. I know you will be with me every step of the way just like you always are so thank you. Please continue to watch over our whole family. Thank you my sweet precious son! You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I still get so much of my strength from you. Our bond & souls will never be broken....ever! Well that is all Mom has for updates today. Like I said a crazy week ahead for us so I am sure to have some for you as the week goes on!
The weather today is beautiful. 70's & sunny with a nice breeze. Loving it but the weather this week is going to be very cool. Fall is definitely coming. Mom's favorite season but I am not looking forward to what comes after though....blah! Hopefully tonight I will get to be able to see some stars & the moon shining in the sky. Maybe a painting from you as well. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for my voice. Smile & Mom will too! Hope you have fun tonight doing all the things you need to & want to. Come visit Mom if you can while I am sleeping. Thanks Ty!
Mom needs to get going as it is almost time for the pups to be fed & get dinner going for Mark & I. I am also house watching for my neighbor while she is on vacation. I have to water all her plants & feed her cat this whole week while she is away. I have to go over tonight & start it. Before Mom signs off for tonight here is a prayer for the day: We must remember that whenever God allows our hands to be empty for a season, it's because He intends on fill them. Amen.
Mom will be back tomorrow night with another letter so until then... Good night & sweet dreams. I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday early evening? Mom is not going to lie as I am tired as all h*ll! Yesterday was a very long day for Mark & Mom plus Mark's friend came with us & I am so grateful for that. It was a huge help. We started out in the morning around 9 am & it took us 3 hours to get to Hooksett, NH ( where the toll booth is ) when it should have been just an hour to get there. The traffic was terrible. Bumper to bumper almost the whole way there. We arrived in NH 5 hours later. We went & visited Meme, Bob, Grandpa & Debbie for a very very short time ( like 30 minutes each ) & then we hit the road again as we knew we would get stuck in traffic yet again coming back home. We did indeed get the traffic & it took us 4 hours to get to our apartment. Everyone was exhausted but it was a much needed trip there to go get the vehicle from Mark's other friend. It is a nice one indeed & it was very sweet of his friend to do what he is for us. Mom also came up to NH yesterday to visit you as in 6 days on the 29th you would have been 27 years old. Mom didn't stay nearly as long as I would have liked to but I did leave you you Birthday Angel. I hope you like it & no one steals it from you. Mom is going to ask someone to bring you a couple balloons on Saturday to put on your bench & Mom will send a couple up to you from here on Saturday as well. Hope you get them all & you float on them like you have done in the past! Today, Mark & Mom really didn't do a whole lot as far as going out. We cleaned the new vehicle & took it down to go get it washed. We needed to go grocery shopping & run errands but I said nope... I was too tired to do that. We came home & I went on line & order groceries & things we needed from Walmart. The convenience of technology these days is sometimes wonderful & yet sometimes a pain in the butt...lol! Mark's friend left around 12 noon. Mom got up & made them breakfast... your favorite.... pancakes & bacon. Mom thought of you as I was making it & it made me smile. I miss you so much. I miss the little things more than ever these days. I miss you, your face, your voice, your laugh, your smile. I miss everything & the days do not get easier I am afraid. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. To infinity & beyond!
Mom doesn't have much to update you on but what I do have is: Meme is in a lot of pain with her hip & back, Bob does not feel good at all & doesn't look good either. He can't hardly breathe & is so winded. He is retaining fluid & his legs & ankles are so swollen. Mom is so worried about him & Meme too. Grandpa & Debbie are doing good. She was headed out for work yesterday so I didn't see her all but 5 minutes. We got to see Grandpa's new shed that he bought. It is really a nice one & he is right proud of that thing...lol. Mark has an extremely busy week coming up & that worries Mom but I will do my best to just relax! Mom has a new class starting tomorrow as well. We shall see how that goes. Looks okay from what I have seen but I think it will be challenging as I go. Lots of writing in this one & the point value is really high so not much room to make a lot of mistakes. Good thing I have a lot of cushion with my grades for this class. Think I am going to need it. I know you will be with me every step of the way just like you always are so thank you. Please continue to watch over our whole family. Thank you my sweet precious son! You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I still get so much of my strength from you. Our bond & souls will never be broken....ever! Well that is all Mom has for updates today. Like I said a crazy week ahead for us so I am sure to have some for you as the week goes on!
The weather today is beautiful. 70's & sunny with a nice breeze. Loving it but the weather this week is going to be very cool. Fall is definitely coming. Mom's favorite season but I am not looking forward to what comes after though....blah! Hopefully tonight I will get to be able to see some stars & the moon shining in the sky. Maybe a painting from you as well. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening for my voice. Smile & Mom will too! Hope you have fun tonight doing all the things you need to & want to. Come visit Mom if you can while I am sleeping. Thanks Ty!
Mom needs to get going as it is almost time for the pups to be fed & get dinner going for Mark & I. I am also house watching for my neighbor while she is on vacation. I have to water all her plants & feed her cat this whole week while she is away. I have to go over tonight & start it. Before Mom signs off for tonight here is a prayer for the day: We must remember that whenever God allows our hands to be empty for a season, it's because He intends on fill them. Amen.
Mom will be back tomorrow night with another letter so until then... Good night & sweet dreams. I love you more than all the stars in the sky.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, July 21, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing okay. I did what I said I was going to do.... I was up early at 6:45 am & I fed the pups, made coffee, made the bed, got ready & I was out the door by 8:20 am to go stand in line at the RMV. Mom was there 25 minutes before it even opened & there were about 50 people there just waiting in line already. It was crazy! Mom got right in line & only waited 15 minutes before my number was called. Total from start to finish was roughly 1 hour. I say that was a success as the last time I went it was a 4 hour wait. After I finished there, I came right in & took the pups for a nice walk before it got too hot outside. Once I was finished that I made some breakfast & then finished up my final exam. I worked on that for about 2 hours & then submitted it. Mom was very discouraged & disappointed as I received an 89%. I got every single answer right but they took 1 point off for stupid stuff. I should have received a 99%. Mom put a call into her instructor to talk to her about that. My grade may change but it may not. I will have to wait & see. My overall grade is an A ( 92 ) so I am very happy with that as I still have a straight A status with all the 10 courses I have taken! My next class is business communications. I looked at it & some seems fairly easy & other parts seem like they will be a bit challenging but I will do my best on it all. That is all I can really do! Tonight, Mom will be making dinner, relaxing for a bit & then going to bed early as Mark & I are hitting the road to NH for the day. It will be a beautiful sunny day for a drive to go see Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie & you. Mom can't come up next weekend as Mark will be traveling for work & it is your Birthday next week so Mom has to just do it a week early. I know you won't mind. Mom might stop off & grab a couple of balloons to send off to you while I am there. Not sure though as I do not want too get caught doing it as I guess no one is allowed to do that anymore in NH. Guess I will just have to wait & see how brave I am come tomorrow...lol! I have a glass Angel that I want to put down in the flower bed next to your bench. I got it during the winter time & want you to have it as you are my Angel! I hope you like it! I hope it stays down there for a while & no one steals it. that will really hurt Mom if someone does. I will take a couple pictures too. I know that Sam goes down there regularly along with Meme, Bob, & Grandpa... that makes Mom very happy. I am sure it makes you smile too!
Mom can tell you that in a couple of days I will be getting a new vehicle. It is not a brand new one but it will be new to me! I am excited to get it but not so excited to have the payments again...lol. Guess you were channeling in on the decision making, Ty as Mom has always gone with white vehicles & they didn't have that color this time so Mom went with red! Hmmm... who's favorite color is that???? Guess you will always be with me when I drive it! I get to pick it up at the beginning of next week. Mark is set to have another important meeting next Wednesday the 26th so my fingers will be crossed for him in hopes that this one will be happier news for us both. This time it will be much harder as if all goes well there will have to be many adjustments made. Mom will keep you posted though. Please be with him on that day. Thank you. Nothing else is really new for today but I am sure to have some updates for you during the weekend. Mom is not sure if i will be able to write to you tomorrow night because I am not sure when we will arrive back home so if I don't get the chance to write to you tomorrow I will definitely write to you on Sunday night. Mom just wanted to give all my readers the heads up that there might not be a letter Saturday. Mom still gets amazed at just how many read my letters to you still even after 4 years. That really warms my heart. Maybe I am helping someone out there cope with someone they lost so near & dear to them. Mom is not sure but if there is any truth to that I hope I am doing a good job. To everyone who does read my letters...again...thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blessings to each & every one of you.
Here is a prayer for the day: May God prosper you in every way so you can flourish beyond your wildest dreams. May you earnestly cooperate with Him by following His lead and by making the changes He asks of you. And as a result, may you be emotionally strong and stable, spiritually deep and thriving, financially free and generous, socially blessed and a blessing, and physically fit and healthy. May God fill in every gap, heal every wound, and restore everything stolen. May you live abundantly in every way. And may you sleep especially well tonight. You're a child of the Most High God!
Here is an inspirational message for you today as well: If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart! That is short & sweet but very true.
It is that time of the day already where I need to get going. Mom needs to finish the housework up & then get dinner going for Mark & I plus feed the pups. I hope that your night is fun for you doing all kinds of special things. Come visit Mom tonight if you can. Be with me so that I can get some solid sleep for tomorrows drive . Thank you my sweet precious son. Mom will whisper to you as I always do later so be listening. I will smile to you & hope you are smiling back to Mom. I will also look to the sky to see a painting of yours & hopefully some stars & maybe the moon. I looked last night & nothing again. Not sure why I am not seeing them but I do look every night. I miss you more than words can say. Love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will always be inside my heart, mind, body & soul. That is where you will live forever! Remember you are Mom's hero & the wind beneath my wings!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing okay. I did what I said I was going to do.... I was up early at 6:45 am & I fed the pups, made coffee, made the bed, got ready & I was out the door by 8:20 am to go stand in line at the RMV. Mom was there 25 minutes before it even opened & there were about 50 people there just waiting in line already. It was crazy! Mom got right in line & only waited 15 minutes before my number was called. Total from start to finish was roughly 1 hour. I say that was a success as the last time I went it was a 4 hour wait. After I finished there, I came right in & took the pups for a nice walk before it got too hot outside. Once I was finished that I made some breakfast & then finished up my final exam. I worked on that for about 2 hours & then submitted it. Mom was very discouraged & disappointed as I received an 89%. I got every single answer right but they took 1 point off for stupid stuff. I should have received a 99%. Mom put a call into her instructor to talk to her about that. My grade may change but it may not. I will have to wait & see. My overall grade is an A ( 92 ) so I am very happy with that as I still have a straight A status with all the 10 courses I have taken! My next class is business communications. I looked at it & some seems fairly easy & other parts seem like they will be a bit challenging but I will do my best on it all. That is all I can really do! Tonight, Mom will be making dinner, relaxing for a bit & then going to bed early as Mark & I are hitting the road to NH for the day. It will be a beautiful sunny day for a drive to go see Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Debbie & you. Mom can't come up next weekend as Mark will be traveling for work & it is your Birthday next week so Mom has to just do it a week early. I know you won't mind. Mom might stop off & grab a couple of balloons to send off to you while I am there. Not sure though as I do not want too get caught doing it as I guess no one is allowed to do that anymore in NH. Guess I will just have to wait & see how brave I am come tomorrow...lol! I have a glass Angel that I want to put down in the flower bed next to your bench. I got it during the winter time & want you to have it as you are my Angel! I hope you like it! I hope it stays down there for a while & no one steals it. that will really hurt Mom if someone does. I will take a couple pictures too. I know that Sam goes down there regularly along with Meme, Bob, & Grandpa... that makes Mom very happy. I am sure it makes you smile too!
Mom can tell you that in a couple of days I will be getting a new vehicle. It is not a brand new one but it will be new to me! I am excited to get it but not so excited to have the payments again...lol. Guess you were channeling in on the decision making, Ty as Mom has always gone with white vehicles & they didn't have that color this time so Mom went with red! Hmmm... who's favorite color is that???? Guess you will always be with me when I drive it! I get to pick it up at the beginning of next week. Mark is set to have another important meeting next Wednesday the 26th so my fingers will be crossed for him in hopes that this one will be happier news for us both. This time it will be much harder as if all goes well there will have to be many adjustments made. Mom will keep you posted though. Please be with him on that day. Thank you. Nothing else is really new for today but I am sure to have some updates for you during the weekend. Mom is not sure if i will be able to write to you tomorrow night because I am not sure when we will arrive back home so if I don't get the chance to write to you tomorrow I will definitely write to you on Sunday night. Mom just wanted to give all my readers the heads up that there might not be a letter Saturday. Mom still gets amazed at just how many read my letters to you still even after 4 years. That really warms my heart. Maybe I am helping someone out there cope with someone they lost so near & dear to them. Mom is not sure but if there is any truth to that I hope I am doing a good job. To everyone who does read my letters...again...thank you from the bottom of my heart. Blessings to each & every one of you.
Here is a prayer for the day: May God prosper you in every way so you can flourish beyond your wildest dreams. May you earnestly cooperate with Him by following His lead and by making the changes He asks of you. And as a result, may you be emotionally strong and stable, spiritually deep and thriving, financially free and generous, socially blessed and a blessing, and physically fit and healthy. May God fill in every gap, heal every wound, and restore everything stolen. May you live abundantly in every way. And may you sleep especially well tonight. You're a child of the Most High God!
Here is an inspirational message for you today as well: If anything is worth doing, do it with all your heart! That is short & sweet but very true.
It is that time of the day already where I need to get going. Mom needs to finish the housework up & then get dinner going for Mark & I plus feed the pups. I hope that your night is fun for you doing all kinds of special things. Come visit Mom tonight if you can. Be with me so that I can get some solid sleep for tomorrows drive . Thank you my sweet precious son. Mom will whisper to you as I always do later so be listening. I will smile to you & hope you are smiling back to Mom. I will also look to the sky to see a painting of yours & hopefully some stars & maybe the moon. I looked last night & nothing again. Not sure why I am not seeing them but I do look every night. I miss you more than words can say. Love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will always be inside my heart, mind, body & soul. That is where you will live forever! Remember you are Mom's hero & the wind beneath my wings!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, July 20, 2017
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom & Mark are doing a little better from all the discouraging stuff that happened yesterday. We are trying to find the positive things with what was told. At times it has been tough for Mark but we are managing & we know that something better will come along. Like I said yesterday...everything happens for a reason!
Today has been a busy day for Mom. Got up early this morning & did all the usual stuff.... made coffee, fed the pups, cleaned up after them, made myself & Mark breakfast, got ready & then took the pups out for their walk. It wasn't a long one though because it is so warm out there. Very sunny & humid & way too hot for their little feet. After all that was finished, Mom got right to starting her final exam. I just stopped working on it & it is 5: 30 pm. I have managed to feed the pups tonight & Mom is just so tired that she decided that we would order a pizza for dinner so I didn't have to cook. Tonight will be an early night as tomorrow Mom needs to be up early to go run a few errands & after that I need to do some housework as Mark's friend is coming for the weekend again. I need to vacuum, clean the bathrooms, dust, etc.... then after all that is finished Mom will need to finish her final & submit it so come Monday I will be starting my new class which is Business Communications. I am very interested in what that is going to be. This is a new one so am sure to be challenged at times!
Mom spoke to Aunt Beck this afternoon. Things are good with them & they were awaiting John's friend to get there & visit with them this evening. They are just very busy with life n general. Meme called me this afternoon as Bob had a doctors app't. That did not go very well at all. She was saying that the procedure that they did last week only worked for a day & that is it. They ran some tests today & it showed that his pacemaker is not even working now. They decided to increase one of his meds that he is taking to 2 pills a day instead of only 1 pill. He is retaining fluid as he has gained 5 lbs in one week & his ankles are swollen really bad. The doctors said they wanted to see him in 1 month & if nothing has changed they recommended that he go through the same procedure as he had last week again & Bob said no. Not sure what is going to happen next but Mom is so sad to hear of all this news. If there is anything you can do to help Bob out & Meme....please Tyler. Mom appreciates it so much. I am not sure what is going on right now...things were looking up for everyone in our family & now it seems that the tables are turning around. We all need to get back on the track of things going well again. Please watch over us all my sweet precious son. Thank you! That is all the updates that Mom has for you today.
Here is the prayer for the day: May you allow Jesus to lead you to edges of your comfort zone and give you a fresh vision for where He's taking you. May you put everything on the table and give Him permission to rearrange your life. May you dare to open your hands, look up, and breathe a prayer of thanks right in the midst of this uncertain time, knowing that He's far kinder than you can fathom and far greater than you ever imagined. Can you sense Jesus' invitation to join Him on this adventure of faith? Will you trust Him? Choose joy this day. God wants to do a deep and profound work in and through you! Your security is found in HIM!
Honestly Mom has not been doing an inspirational message on the last few letters to you as Mom just doesn't seem like I am in a positive mood the last few nights but I promise I will start them back up on your letter tomorrow night. I hope you forgive me for that as I never try to be a negative person but sometimes Mom just stays in a sad mood. I will get better again. Mom hopes that your night will be all that you need & want it to be. Have fun tonight while Mom is trying to get some sleep. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thanks Ty! I will whisper to you as I always do each night so be listening out for my voice. Smile & Mom will too. Mom hasn't been seeing anything shining in the sky at night for the moon or stars but I know you are shining bright wherever you are! Mom will look tonight to see if I see anything. Maybe I will see a nice sunset. There hasn't been one of them lately either. Mom needs to get going now as the pizza will be here any minute & the pups will start barking. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom & Mark are doing a little better from all the discouraging stuff that happened yesterday. We are trying to find the positive things with what was told. At times it has been tough for Mark but we are managing & we know that something better will come along. Like I said yesterday...everything happens for a reason!
Today has been a busy day for Mom. Got up early this morning & did all the usual stuff.... made coffee, fed the pups, cleaned up after them, made myself & Mark breakfast, got ready & then took the pups out for their walk. It wasn't a long one though because it is so warm out there. Very sunny & humid & way too hot for their little feet. After all that was finished, Mom got right to starting her final exam. I just stopped working on it & it is 5: 30 pm. I have managed to feed the pups tonight & Mom is just so tired that she decided that we would order a pizza for dinner so I didn't have to cook. Tonight will be an early night as tomorrow Mom needs to be up early to go run a few errands & after that I need to do some housework as Mark's friend is coming for the weekend again. I need to vacuum, clean the bathrooms, dust, etc.... then after all that is finished Mom will need to finish her final & submit it so come Monday I will be starting my new class which is Business Communications. I am very interested in what that is going to be. This is a new one so am sure to be challenged at times!
Mom spoke to Aunt Beck this afternoon. Things are good with them & they were awaiting John's friend to get there & visit with them this evening. They are just very busy with life n general. Meme called me this afternoon as Bob had a doctors app't. That did not go very well at all. She was saying that the procedure that they did last week only worked for a day & that is it. They ran some tests today & it showed that his pacemaker is not even working now. They decided to increase one of his meds that he is taking to 2 pills a day instead of only 1 pill. He is retaining fluid as he has gained 5 lbs in one week & his ankles are swollen really bad. The doctors said they wanted to see him in 1 month & if nothing has changed they recommended that he go through the same procedure as he had last week again & Bob said no. Not sure what is going to happen next but Mom is so sad to hear of all this news. If there is anything you can do to help Bob out & Meme....please Tyler. Mom appreciates it so much. I am not sure what is going on right now...things were looking up for everyone in our family & now it seems that the tables are turning around. We all need to get back on the track of things going well again. Please watch over us all my sweet precious son. Thank you! That is all the updates that Mom has for you today.
Here is the prayer for the day: May you allow Jesus to lead you to edges of your comfort zone and give you a fresh vision for where He's taking you. May you put everything on the table and give Him permission to rearrange your life. May you dare to open your hands, look up, and breathe a prayer of thanks right in the midst of this uncertain time, knowing that He's far kinder than you can fathom and far greater than you ever imagined. Can you sense Jesus' invitation to join Him on this adventure of faith? Will you trust Him? Choose joy this day. God wants to do a deep and profound work in and through you! Your security is found in HIM!
Honestly Mom has not been doing an inspirational message on the last few letters to you as Mom just doesn't seem like I am in a positive mood the last few nights but I promise I will start them back up on your letter tomorrow night. I hope you forgive me for that as I never try to be a negative person but sometimes Mom just stays in a sad mood. I will get better again. Mom hopes that your night will be all that you need & want it to be. Have fun tonight while Mom is trying to get some sleep. Come visit me in my dreams if you can. Thanks Ty! I will whisper to you as I always do each night so be listening out for my voice. Smile & Mom will too. Mom hasn't been seeing anything shining in the sky at night for the moon or stars but I know you are shining bright wherever you are! Mom will look tonight to see if I see anything. Maybe I will see a nice sunset. There hasn't been one of them lately either. Mom needs to get going now as the pizza will be here any minute & the pups will start barking. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind, body & soul. You are my hero & the wind beneath my wings. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
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