Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? Mom is doing alright. I wish I could say that I am as happy as I was yesterday but I can't. It would be a lie and I refuse to lie to you or anyone for that matter. What a 180 degree turn from everything yesterday that was going on here. There were so many "highs" and positives and today it feels like everything has been yanked out right from under our feet. Let me explain a little bit of it to you. Last week when Mom had a call from a realtor, they let me know that we shouldn't get our hearts set on a particular house because not everything is covered under the type of loan that we are going for. When we heard that, we decided to start looking for back ups homes just incase. Mom spoke to Meme and Grandpa about it all and we all were so disappointed but they understood where we were at and why. Yesterday, Mom took matters into her own hands and I decided to call a different realtor to chat about the house we like because that realtor was one that was representing the seller of the home. The woman was very informative and also called a mortgage broker to see if that home would be covered under the loan and we found out that it would. We were so happy! We asked what to do next and the woman gave us instructions and we followed through with them today. Everything seemed to be falling into place for us and that was such great news seeings how we have been worried and everything that we have been through in the last 3 weeks. Mark, Mom, Grandpa, Meme, Debbie and Bob were really excited. It was like we were on cloud 9. Mom actually said a few times that it was becoming real and that this was going to happen. It was surreal but a good surreal. Well, not even 24 hours later things have changed a bit. Everything with the loan is solid and good. There are no problems there BUT there are going to be added expenses that we were not expecting and also the monthly payment is a lot higher than what we thought it would be. We were looking forward to saving money monthly but it looks like that is not going to happen. We will basically be paying the same amount that we are here, down there. That was a bummer but we could get over that part. The piece now that we are struggling with is where to come up with an astronomical amount of money that we were not anticipating at all. That basically brought all our "highs" from yesterday back down to "lows" today again. Mark and Mom have no idea what to do now and we don't want to disappoint anyone. Mom needs to play the lotto or buy scratch tickets and hopes to win big money so that this can happen...lol! Mom is just so sad today and my emotions are every. I just want to sit down and cry. I did earlier but that was for a different reason. Mom will be praying harder that things will fall into place for us and we can do all this and make it happen. I need to just start thinking positive again and not negative. Maybe after a good night sleep Mom will see things differently but for right now I am just going to be sad for awhile.
In other good news, Meme finally gave her date to her work for when she will be retiring. I am so proud of her and happy for her. I know she is really sad and scared right now but I tried telling her this is for the best and that this is just an end to an era for her. She will be starting a new chapter in her life and a new journey that will be so much better for her. I will be chatting with her later this evening so I will fill you in on things tomorrow when Mom knows more. That really is the only news that I have for you today and the only update as well. I will call Grandpa later tonight as well to touch base with him to say hello. We chatted for about 90 minutes on Sunday and briefly yesterday afternoon. Everyone is good there. They are busy with work and also getting things done that they need to do. Debbie will be retiring in October ( 4 months from now) and Grandpa will either be retiring for good either in September or December. Exciting times for them is on the way!!!
Earlier today I know you saw Mom crying. I was reading over the notes from the last Angel reading with Forrest that I had back in 2016. Things that were said just hit me the wrong way and made me cry. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I know I can talk to you whenever I want to but what I wouldn't give to hear your voice talking back to Mom. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. You are my hero, my everything, my wind beneath my wings. Forever you live inside my heart, mind, body and soul. Just know that Mom will have her good days and her bad days but I will be okay.
I will light your candle in a little bit. It is after 4:30 pm and I have to get dinner for the pups and also for Mark and I. I think it will be a new candle tonight as well because the other one is done or close to done. Mom will whisper to you like I always do later this evening as well. Smile for me and I will smile for you. Have fun tonight while I get some much needed sleep. Visit me in my dreams if you can. Thank you. Please watch over us all still. Thank you pumpkin. Mom will be back tomorrow with another letter to you so until then....good night and sweet dreams later.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Here is today's prayer:
Your love, Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. How priceless is your unfailing love, O God! People take refuge in the shadow of your wings. Psalm 36:5, 7, NIV
Lord our God, we turn our hearts and minds to you. Be with us and grant us your Spirit. May your Word be a blessing for us. We thank you that this Word is given us in Jesus Christ, our Savior. Almighty God, stretch out your hand over the whole world. Let your Spirit bring a new age, an age of truth, righteousness, and love, an age of peace that comes from you. O Lord God, we are your children, and as your children we pray to you in the name of Jesus Christ. You will hear us, and we look forward with joy to the time when all promises will be fulfilled, the time spoken about by the prophets, and especially by your Son, Jesus Christ. Be with us and gather us in your Spirit. Amen.
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