Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son in Heaven! How are you doing today on this beautiful sunny Tuesday afternoon? I hope all is well for you and you are doing all that you want in the sky above. Mom is doing just fine. The weather today is warm, breezy, and super sunny. It i such a nice change from the rainy weather that we have been having.
I saw the stars shining brightly last night. It was such a nice surprise after not seeing them for a few nights. I automatically got a huge smile across my face. I whispered to you. I know you shine brightly every night whether I see you or not but it is always so nice to see it for myself. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon & back.
Mom is still on her routine... wake up, do housework, do my 1 hour workout routine, shower, take dogs for their first walk, make lunch for Mark & I and then the rest of the day is to do what I want. Mostly it is preparing for our trip to NH, our Wedding and then our Honeymoon. I like to stay as active as I can. I am really starting to feel better and healthy. My clothes are fitting my better so I know I have lost a few pounds and inches. I am going to bed earlier and getting up at almost the same time as always now. It is definitely helping me. Staying on a routine is good for me. Working out is keeping me from a lot of sadness and depression. I am on my way to a better me. I plan on continuing too! I am proud of myself and I hope you are proud too..smiling down on Mom.
I have to tell you that this morning I received a call from Crotched Mtn. When I saw the number come across the telephone my heart just sank. It was someone telling me that you have money there and they needed to make sure they could release it. I told them yes. It was so hard talking to someone there. I think I almost vomited in my mouth that is how much my stomach hurt. I don't know if I will ever be able to not feel that way about that facility. I don't want to feel the way I do but I can't help it. Maybe in time it will change but I am not counting on it or holding my breath.
Everything else seems to be smooth for our family & friends. That is a good thing. I miss them and will be seeing them in 41 days. Just wish I would be going there to spend time with you. I wish I could go see you and give you hugs and kisses. I wish to see your face, hear your voice, and see that beautiful smile again. You are missed so much by so many family and friends. It makes me feel good that your memory lives on in so many of us here in the physical world.
Hope I get to see the stars tonight.. I will be whispering you to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for Mom and that you hear me. May you have a wonderful afternoon..what is left of it and a restful and peaceful evening. May you have sweet dreams. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son.
I love you, Always..Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son in Heaven! How are you doing today on this beautiful sunny Tuesday afternoon? I hope all is well for you and you are doing all that you want in the sky above. Mom is doing just fine. The weather today is warm, breezy, and super sunny. It i such a nice change from the rainy weather that we have been having.
I saw the stars shining brightly last night. It was such a nice surprise after not seeing them for a few nights. I automatically got a huge smile across my face. I whispered to you. I know you shine brightly every night whether I see you or not but it is always so nice to see it for myself. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon & back.
Mom is still on her routine... wake up, do housework, do my 1 hour workout routine, shower, take dogs for their first walk, make lunch for Mark & I and then the rest of the day is to do what I want. Mostly it is preparing for our trip to NH, our Wedding and then our Honeymoon. I like to stay as active as I can. I am really starting to feel better and healthy. My clothes are fitting my better so I know I have lost a few pounds and inches. I am going to bed earlier and getting up at almost the same time as always now. It is definitely helping me. Staying on a routine is good for me. Working out is keeping me from a lot of sadness and depression. I am on my way to a better me. I plan on continuing too! I am proud of myself and I hope you are proud too..smiling down on Mom.
I have to tell you that this morning I received a call from Crotched Mtn. When I saw the number come across the telephone my heart just sank. It was someone telling me that you have money there and they needed to make sure they could release it. I told them yes. It was so hard talking to someone there. I think I almost vomited in my mouth that is how much my stomach hurt. I don't know if I will ever be able to not feel that way about that facility. I don't want to feel the way I do but I can't help it. Maybe in time it will change but I am not counting on it or holding my breath.
Everything else seems to be smooth for our family & friends. That is a good thing. I miss them and will be seeing them in 41 days. Just wish I would be going there to spend time with you. I wish I could go see you and give you hugs and kisses. I wish to see your face, hear your voice, and see that beautiful smile again. You are missed so much by so many family and friends. It makes me feel good that your memory lives on in so many of us here in the physical world.
Hope I get to see the stars tonight.. I will be whispering you to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for Mom and that you hear me. May you have a wonderful afternoon..what is left of it and a restful and peaceful evening. May you have sweet dreams. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son.
I love you, Always..Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, April 27, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I hope you are the happiest that you have ever been. Mom is doing as good as can be. Every day is a struggle but I am getting by and hopefully making you proud in the process. Things are pretty quiet around here. Not much really going on these days so I guess in a way that is good. Mark is working a lot and I am doing so many things to keep me busy! We are trying to finalize all the things for the wedding, getting all the details ready & set, looking for a place to take our honeymoon and planning that too, plus getting ready to take our trip back to NH. That is coming very fast...42 days out. Such a bittersweet thing for me as I have told you before though. Charlie & Marion's wedding is in 46 days which means that in 52 days it will be 1 year since you left us in the physical world and went up to the Heavens above. Some days it is so unbelievable that the time has gone by but other days it seems like yesterday. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you more than life itself. I just hope that you are happy and content doing all that you are. I guess I need validation from time to time that you are still around Mom and that you are ok.
Don't hear much from your Dad but I did text him over a few pictures of you & him that I had. I know he doesn't have any thanks to Chris throwing them all away on him, but I am trying to get him some so he can have. He said things were rough. Still not working and still living with the in laws. He is hoping to get and find work soon. He did want to move but no money to do that right now. In ways I feel so bad for him. Look out for your Dad, Tyler. I know things were not always the greatest but he did and still does love you. Thanks pumpkin!
The weather here is so dang hot & humid. It was 85 degrees put today and tomorrow it will be 95...ugh! Guess we are in for rain, wind and crappy weather Monday. I don't think I will see the stars tonight but I know you are up there shining bright and watching over Mom, Mark & the rest of our family and friends. I will continue to whisper to you so I hope you will be listening out and able to hear me.
I hope you have a peaceful and restful evening tonight. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world... Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing today? I hope you are the happiest that you have ever been. Mom is doing as good as can be. Every day is a struggle but I am getting by and hopefully making you proud in the process. Things are pretty quiet around here. Not much really going on these days so I guess in a way that is good. Mark is working a lot and I am doing so many things to keep me busy! We are trying to finalize all the things for the wedding, getting all the details ready & set, looking for a place to take our honeymoon and planning that too, plus getting ready to take our trip back to NH. That is coming very fast...42 days out. Such a bittersweet thing for me as I have told you before though. Charlie & Marion's wedding is in 46 days which means that in 52 days it will be 1 year since you left us in the physical world and went up to the Heavens above. Some days it is so unbelievable that the time has gone by but other days it seems like yesterday. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you more than life itself. I just hope that you are happy and content doing all that you are. I guess I need validation from time to time that you are still around Mom and that you are ok.
Don't hear much from your Dad but I did text him over a few pictures of you & him that I had. I know he doesn't have any thanks to Chris throwing them all away on him, but I am trying to get him some so he can have. He said things were rough. Still not working and still living with the in laws. He is hoping to get and find work soon. He did want to move but no money to do that right now. In ways I feel so bad for him. Look out for your Dad, Tyler. I know things were not always the greatest but he did and still does love you. Thanks pumpkin!
The weather here is so dang hot & humid. It was 85 degrees put today and tomorrow it will be 95...ugh! Guess we are in for rain, wind and crappy weather Monday. I don't think I will see the stars tonight but I know you are up there shining bright and watching over Mom, Mark & the rest of our family and friends. I will continue to whisper to you so I hope you will be listening out and able to hear me.
I hope you have a peaceful and restful evening tonight. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world... Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, April 25, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? I always wonder as I am typing you the letters what exactly you do all day and night. I have a billion and one things that run through my head and questions I will just have to wait to get the answers to. I know that you can be several places at once and that when we are happy and smiling it helps you to grow and mature on your side. I just can't help but wonder what you do all the time?? Is it new things daily? Do you get bored with things that you do or have to do? Do you like it? My mind just wanders off all the time when I am writing.
Mom is doing well as can be. I am a little tired today. Mark wasn't feeling well last night and I have been up since very early this morning. I know it will be a very early night to bed for me. My eyelids are very heavy. Mark is feeling much better though so that is a good thing!
Meme called me to let me know how Bob did on his procedure. Guess the blood clot is almost gone which is a very good thing, but the doctors are still quite concerned because he still has a lot of edema in his feet, ankles, and calves. His heart beat is all over the place too and the doctors could not tell either of them why. Meme said it was a waste of time to go there and spend all day at the hospital. It was good to know that the clot was almost gone but the doctors didn't tell them any thing else or answer their questions. It is frustrating to both. I feel so bad for them. Bob takes it out on Meme and then she gets upset and angry... just not a good thing. Can you please continue to watch over them? They sure need it. They need to get good news for a change and have things turn around and start looking up for them. I worry about them quite a bit. It is so hard being so far away from our family ( friends too ).
Aunt Becky sent me an email. They are enjoying their time still in South America. She was saying the countdown is on for them. 9 days and they will be back in the States. That 5 1/2 weeks went by really fast this time. I am sure it was faster for them though. Please continue to watch over her and John too. I know you will make sure they get back safely as well. Thanks Tyler! If you get the chance you should stop on by again while she is there. She would love to see you!
Bean is doing well. I had the chance to speak to her last week. Staying busy and working a lot! She was saying that your old computer wasn't working anymore for her. That sucks because that was a brand new computer that you had. You used it maybe 3 times and that was it. She said the screen would blank out on her. Mark spoke to her and said he never heard of such a thing. We are going to fix another one and ship it out to her asap. She needs one. We spoke about you. She sure does miss you. So many people do. But out of everyone nobody misses you more than me! You are forever in my mind, my thoughts, and in my heart. I think of you non stop..24 hours a day! I love you so much!
I keep meaning to tell you that your " brothers " Adam is going to be a Daddy. Him and his girlfriend are having a little girl and Spencer and his girlfriend are going to be having a little boy. Adam's baby I believe is due in June and Spencer's baby is due in July... really close to your Birthday. They will be good Dads. I am very proud of them both. I told them both that you were watching over them and smiling down on them. I know you are! I know you are very happy for them both. I can see your face and your smile as I type this out.
Thank you for the stars the last couple of nights. It was such a nice surprise. It had been cloudy but there were some stars just shining brightly. It made me smile as it always does. I whispered to you... I hope you heard me. It is very hot and humid out today. Cloudy so I am hoping that I get to see the stars again. Hope you will hear Mom when she whispers to you.
Have a peaceful and wonderful night in the Heaven above. Please watch over us all pumpkin. I love you with all my heart and soul. Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you beyond any words could ever be expressed. Forever in my heart and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? I always wonder as I am typing you the letters what exactly you do all day and night. I have a billion and one things that run through my head and questions I will just have to wait to get the answers to. I know that you can be several places at once and that when we are happy and smiling it helps you to grow and mature on your side. I just can't help but wonder what you do all the time?? Is it new things daily? Do you get bored with things that you do or have to do? Do you like it? My mind just wanders off all the time when I am writing.
Mom is doing well as can be. I am a little tired today. Mark wasn't feeling well last night and I have been up since very early this morning. I know it will be a very early night to bed for me. My eyelids are very heavy. Mark is feeling much better though so that is a good thing!
Meme called me to let me know how Bob did on his procedure. Guess the blood clot is almost gone which is a very good thing, but the doctors are still quite concerned because he still has a lot of edema in his feet, ankles, and calves. His heart beat is all over the place too and the doctors could not tell either of them why. Meme said it was a waste of time to go there and spend all day at the hospital. It was good to know that the clot was almost gone but the doctors didn't tell them any thing else or answer their questions. It is frustrating to both. I feel so bad for them. Bob takes it out on Meme and then she gets upset and angry... just not a good thing. Can you please continue to watch over them? They sure need it. They need to get good news for a change and have things turn around and start looking up for them. I worry about them quite a bit. It is so hard being so far away from our family ( friends too ).
Aunt Becky sent me an email. They are enjoying their time still in South America. She was saying the countdown is on for them. 9 days and they will be back in the States. That 5 1/2 weeks went by really fast this time. I am sure it was faster for them though. Please continue to watch over her and John too. I know you will make sure they get back safely as well. Thanks Tyler! If you get the chance you should stop on by again while she is there. She would love to see you!
Bean is doing well. I had the chance to speak to her last week. Staying busy and working a lot! She was saying that your old computer wasn't working anymore for her. That sucks because that was a brand new computer that you had. You used it maybe 3 times and that was it. She said the screen would blank out on her. Mark spoke to her and said he never heard of such a thing. We are going to fix another one and ship it out to her asap. She needs one. We spoke about you. She sure does miss you. So many people do. But out of everyone nobody misses you more than me! You are forever in my mind, my thoughts, and in my heart. I think of you non stop..24 hours a day! I love you so much!
I keep meaning to tell you that your " brothers " Adam is going to be a Daddy. Him and his girlfriend are having a little girl and Spencer and his girlfriend are going to be having a little boy. Adam's baby I believe is due in June and Spencer's baby is due in July... really close to your Birthday. They will be good Dads. I am very proud of them both. I told them both that you were watching over them and smiling down on them. I know you are! I know you are very happy for them both. I can see your face and your smile as I type this out.
Thank you for the stars the last couple of nights. It was such a nice surprise. It had been cloudy but there were some stars just shining brightly. It made me smile as it always does. I whispered to you... I hope you heard me. It is very hot and humid out today. Cloudy so I am hoping that I get to see the stars again. Hope you will hear Mom when she whispers to you.
Have a peaceful and wonderful night in the Heaven above. Please watch over us all pumpkin. I love you with all my heart and soul. Sweet dreams my precious son. I miss you beyond any words could ever be expressed. Forever in my heart and soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today in Heaven? Mom is doing so much better today! The last couple days Mark has been the sweetest and he has been rebuilding my computer for me. It crashed the other night so instead of trying to just fix it he wiped everything off my computer. He rebuilt it and then put everything back on. So glad he knows how to do all this stuff because it would have cost so much money to have it done! Mark definitely is a gem. He is so good to Mom. I know you are shining down on us and smiling knowing that Mom is being treated good and that I am being taken care of. I know that was so important to you.
Mom was under the weather yesterday as well. Guess Monday night I ate something that did not agree with me. I took yesterday as a down day and stayed in bed and ate really light. My stomach was not being very friendly to me but is much better today. I have been up since 7:30 am which is very early for me..lol, I made Mark coffee & breakfast. I did my workout and then took my shower. I have been getting used to the new version of the computer today. I am now writing to you and then after I will be making dinner and then calling it a night. I will watch a little tv and then early to bed for me. Mark has a busy day tomorrow so I want him to get all the sleep he possibly can tonight.
Spoke to Auntie Kristina today on the phone. She is doing really well. Mark is doing good too. She has found a dress for the wedding. It is so pretty. She will look incredible in it. All the girls will if they get the same dress as her. If they don't then they still will all look incredible. Did I tell you that the guys in the wedding party will be wearing " super hero " shirts underneath? We thought that would be fun to do. I guess if Mark chooses the Marvel Comics then he will be Iron Man and if DC Comics are chosen then he will be Superman. What do you think? The guys will be posing for a picture at the wedding. The dress shirt will be unbuttoned and the super hero shirt exposed. I think it will be a riot..lol! I just wish that you were here because you would either be Superman or the Punisher!
Everywhere I look... things remind me of you. It makes me so happy and then it makes me very sad. I try daily to do my best at this grieving thing. Not sure if I am succeeding at it or not. I look at your pictures a million times a day and tell you how much I miss you. Every day I wish I could pick up the phone to call you or to skype you on the computer. I miss those days so much. I start to get sad and cry but then I start to think of what has been told to me about you. You are happy, you are without limitations now, you are always busy learning new things, you did all that you were suppose to do in this world. When I think that way I start to smile because I am so proud of you. Proud of who you were when you were with me and proud of what you are doing now. I know I can't see it but I know you are doing an amazing job or jobs! I never have any doubts to that!
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last evening. I whispered to you so I hope that you could hear me. The sky is suppose to be cloudy and overcast for the rest of the week so I am not sure if I will see the stars or not but either way I know you are up there shining brightly and watching over us all. I will whisper to you no matter what!
I hope you have a peaceful evening Tyler. Fly high and fly free my precious son. May you have sweet dreams. I miss you so much and love you beyond any words could ever say. Too the moon and back and all the way around the world. Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Can you please watch over Bob tomorrow as he goes in for his procedure? Thanks pumpkin!
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today in Heaven? Mom is doing so much better today! The last couple days Mark has been the sweetest and he has been rebuilding my computer for me. It crashed the other night so instead of trying to just fix it he wiped everything off my computer. He rebuilt it and then put everything back on. So glad he knows how to do all this stuff because it would have cost so much money to have it done! Mark definitely is a gem. He is so good to Mom. I know you are shining down on us and smiling knowing that Mom is being treated good and that I am being taken care of. I know that was so important to you.
Mom was under the weather yesterday as well. Guess Monday night I ate something that did not agree with me. I took yesterday as a down day and stayed in bed and ate really light. My stomach was not being very friendly to me but is much better today. I have been up since 7:30 am which is very early for me..lol, I made Mark coffee & breakfast. I did my workout and then took my shower. I have been getting used to the new version of the computer today. I am now writing to you and then after I will be making dinner and then calling it a night. I will watch a little tv and then early to bed for me. Mark has a busy day tomorrow so I want him to get all the sleep he possibly can tonight.
Spoke to Auntie Kristina today on the phone. She is doing really well. Mark is doing good too. She has found a dress for the wedding. It is so pretty. She will look incredible in it. All the girls will if they get the same dress as her. If they don't then they still will all look incredible. Did I tell you that the guys in the wedding party will be wearing " super hero " shirts underneath? We thought that would be fun to do. I guess if Mark chooses the Marvel Comics then he will be Iron Man and if DC Comics are chosen then he will be Superman. What do you think? The guys will be posing for a picture at the wedding. The dress shirt will be unbuttoned and the super hero shirt exposed. I think it will be a riot..lol! I just wish that you were here because you would either be Superman or the Punisher!
Everywhere I look... things remind me of you. It makes me so happy and then it makes me very sad. I try daily to do my best at this grieving thing. Not sure if I am succeeding at it or not. I look at your pictures a million times a day and tell you how much I miss you. Every day I wish I could pick up the phone to call you or to skype you on the computer. I miss those days so much. I start to get sad and cry but then I start to think of what has been told to me about you. You are happy, you are without limitations now, you are always busy learning new things, you did all that you were suppose to do in this world. When I think that way I start to smile because I am so proud of you. Proud of who you were when you were with me and proud of what you are doing now. I know I can't see it but I know you are doing an amazing job or jobs! I never have any doubts to that!
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last evening. I whispered to you so I hope that you could hear me. The sky is suppose to be cloudy and overcast for the rest of the week so I am not sure if I will see the stars or not but either way I know you are up there shining brightly and watching over us all. I will whisper to you no matter what!
I hope you have a peaceful evening Tyler. Fly high and fly free my precious son. May you have sweet dreams. I miss you so much and love you beyond any words could ever say. Too the moon and back and all the way around the world. Forever!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Can you please watch over Bob tomorrow as he goes in for his procedure? Thanks pumpkin!
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! I just wanted you to know that Mark has been rebuilding my computer the last 2 days so it is quite late. I promise to write to you tomorrow. Just know I miss you and I love you so much. Watch over us all like you aways do.
Sweet dreams my pecious son. Alays, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi sweetheart! I just wanted you to know that Mark has been rebuilding my computer the last 2 days so it is quite late. I promise to write to you tomorrow. Just know I miss you and I love you so much. Watch over us all like you aways do.
Sweet dreams my pecious son. Alays, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet Angel. Happy Easter pumpkin. I hope that you had a day of celebrating with the Lord and all of our family and friends that are up there with you in Heaven. I wrote on your facebook wall today and wished you a good day. I mentioned Nana, Pepe, Aldo, Betty, Ed, Amy, Ron, Rickie, Wendy, and a couple others. Sure do miss you all so very much. I told Amy when she saw you to give you a big hug and kiss and tell you that it was from Mom. I hope she did that for me! The Holidays sure are not the same anymore. They are so hard to deal with. Mark & I spent the day like any other Sunday. We cleaned the house, played Chess and cooked dinner. Nothing special at all. Spoke to Meme & Bob and Grandpa today so that was super nice. Everyone is doing good for the most part. Bob's app't is coming up and I know that Meme is pretty worried. I didn't say anything but I know that you will be with him through his procedure. Thank you for that. Thank you for all that you do whether it is you alone or with other family and friends Angels. It means so much to me and every one else.
I got to see the stars last night. Not many but the ones I saw were shining brightly. I smiled and chatted with you as I always do. I hope that you heard Mom. I haven't been out this evening but I will be going out after I get done with this letter to you. I am hoping to see the stars again tonight so that I can chat with you for a few more minutes. I hope you will be waiting and listening for Mom.
I just got done watching my show that I like... Long Island Medium. Boy it was 2 very hard episodes to watch tonight. Both were about Mom's losing there children. It always hits home for me and I get a good cry out of it that's for sure. The things that Theresa says about Spirit is just so soothing and calming for Mom. I understand things that she says and it comforts me with messages to others because sometimes I can relate to what is being said. That may sound funny to some folks but not to me.
I miss you so much. I want you to know that because it was Easter... I ate our favorite treat... Peeps!!! Before I did I said " This ones for you Tyler ". I miss those times that we shared. Remember the last Easter we were together.. We ate the 2 boxes I brought. We both had a major sugar highs that afternoon and we both crashed hard that evening..lol! Good times...good memories! I am sure you are smiling as you are reading that part. Probably even laughing too. I can hear your laugh.. oh how I miss that so much.
It is getting late and I need to walk the pups before it gets even later. I hope you are happy and peaceful. May your evening be relaxing. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I love you with all my heart and soul. Watch over us all. Thanks!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet Angel. Happy Easter pumpkin. I hope that you had a day of celebrating with the Lord and all of our family and friends that are up there with you in Heaven. I wrote on your facebook wall today and wished you a good day. I mentioned Nana, Pepe, Aldo, Betty, Ed, Amy, Ron, Rickie, Wendy, and a couple others. Sure do miss you all so very much. I told Amy when she saw you to give you a big hug and kiss and tell you that it was from Mom. I hope she did that for me! The Holidays sure are not the same anymore. They are so hard to deal with. Mark & I spent the day like any other Sunday. We cleaned the house, played Chess and cooked dinner. Nothing special at all. Spoke to Meme & Bob and Grandpa today so that was super nice. Everyone is doing good for the most part. Bob's app't is coming up and I know that Meme is pretty worried. I didn't say anything but I know that you will be with him through his procedure. Thank you for that. Thank you for all that you do whether it is you alone or with other family and friends Angels. It means so much to me and every one else.
I got to see the stars last night. Not many but the ones I saw were shining brightly. I smiled and chatted with you as I always do. I hope that you heard Mom. I haven't been out this evening but I will be going out after I get done with this letter to you. I am hoping to see the stars again tonight so that I can chat with you for a few more minutes. I hope you will be waiting and listening for Mom.
I just got done watching my show that I like... Long Island Medium. Boy it was 2 very hard episodes to watch tonight. Both were about Mom's losing there children. It always hits home for me and I get a good cry out of it that's for sure. The things that Theresa says about Spirit is just so soothing and calming for Mom. I understand things that she says and it comforts me with messages to others because sometimes I can relate to what is being said. That may sound funny to some folks but not to me.
I miss you so much. I want you to know that because it was Easter... I ate our favorite treat... Peeps!!! Before I did I said " This ones for you Tyler ". I miss those times that we shared. Remember the last Easter we were together.. We ate the 2 boxes I brought. We both had a major sugar highs that afternoon and we both crashed hard that evening..lol! Good times...good memories! I am sure you are smiling as you are reading that part. Probably even laughing too. I can hear your laugh.. oh how I miss that so much.
It is getting late and I need to walk the pups before it gets even later. I hope you are happy and peaceful. May your evening be relaxing. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I love you with all my heart and soul. Watch over us all. Thanks!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, April 18, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! I hope you are well on this Friday afternoon. Today is Good Friday and I bet there is one heck of a celebration going on in Heaven. Guess you get to have front row seats for this coming Easter on Sunday with the Lord himself. Many would say you are lucky and I agree but I sure do wish you were here with me and we were celebrating it together. Holidays are so different for me these days. Before when you were with me the Holidays were just a fun and joyous time to spend with family and friends. Lots of laughs, food, and relaxation. Now they are basically just another day for Mark & I. We are so far away from any of our families that it not worth it to celebrate any of them. We don't do anything.. we treat it like a weekend day and do nothing. That is sad but honestly it is fine with me. I miss you so much. On Easter Sunday it will be exactly 10 months since you left us in the physical world. Just another reason to dislike it. I know that is not the way you want Mom to be thinking and feeling but I can not help it. My emotions just are so raw during the middle of every month. The nightmares and the horror is brought all back to me with the phone calls, the plane ride, and the worst... losing you. I have such night terrors. I try like hell to not have them and think happy thoughts but it does not work. If you can help me out with this I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you pumpkin!
Not much has been going on with me. Yesterday I did not feel good. I had a slight fever all day and night. I went to bed pretty early and slept for a few hours here and there. I do feel better today. Got up early this morning and I did my workout. Did some housework and now I am writing to you. Pretty boring huh? Welcome to my life..lol!
In about an hour I will be getting dinner ready and vegging out in front of the tv for the evening and then heading to bed. We have our dog sitter for a couple hours tomorrow so we will get a chance to go out and have what I hope is some fun.
The stars were not out last night but the moon was sure bright again. I looked to the sky and whispered to you. Sure hope you heard Mom. I will be looking again tonight. I hope I get to see them. The sky is pretty clear today so my fingers are crossed. I will be whispering to you so be listening for me. I miss you beyond anything and any words that I could ever express. The hole in my heart is so huge. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. It will always be you & I for the world now... as you put it!
Have a peaceful and restful evening my precious son. Sweet dreams. Forever in my mind and heart. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! I hope you are well on this Friday afternoon. Today is Good Friday and I bet there is one heck of a celebration going on in Heaven. Guess you get to have front row seats for this coming Easter on Sunday with the Lord himself. Many would say you are lucky and I agree but I sure do wish you were here with me and we were celebrating it together. Holidays are so different for me these days. Before when you were with me the Holidays were just a fun and joyous time to spend with family and friends. Lots of laughs, food, and relaxation. Now they are basically just another day for Mark & I. We are so far away from any of our families that it not worth it to celebrate any of them. We don't do anything.. we treat it like a weekend day and do nothing. That is sad but honestly it is fine with me. I miss you so much. On Easter Sunday it will be exactly 10 months since you left us in the physical world. Just another reason to dislike it. I know that is not the way you want Mom to be thinking and feeling but I can not help it. My emotions just are so raw during the middle of every month. The nightmares and the horror is brought all back to me with the phone calls, the plane ride, and the worst... losing you. I have such night terrors. I try like hell to not have them and think happy thoughts but it does not work. If you can help me out with this I would greatly appreciate it. Thank you pumpkin!
Not much has been going on with me. Yesterday I did not feel good. I had a slight fever all day and night. I went to bed pretty early and slept for a few hours here and there. I do feel better today. Got up early this morning and I did my workout. Did some housework and now I am writing to you. Pretty boring huh? Welcome to my life..lol!
In about an hour I will be getting dinner ready and vegging out in front of the tv for the evening and then heading to bed. We have our dog sitter for a couple hours tomorrow so we will get a chance to go out and have what I hope is some fun.
The stars were not out last night but the moon was sure bright again. I looked to the sky and whispered to you. Sure hope you heard Mom. I will be looking again tonight. I hope I get to see them. The sky is pretty clear today so my fingers are crossed. I will be whispering to you so be listening for me. I miss you beyond anything and any words that I could ever express. The hole in my heart is so huge. I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. It will always be you & I for the world now... as you put it!
Have a peaceful and restful evening my precious son. Sweet dreams. Forever in my mind and heart. Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope that you are so happy. I am sure you are doing all that you want and you are flying high and flying freely. Mom is doing well. Today was a pretty good day. Been getting up early in hopes that it makes me go to bed early. I have changed a few things in my life style. I am working out for 1 hour 6 days a week, I am not eating fast food, drinking soda, no snacking at night time anymore, & no eating junk food. I am eating fruit, veggies, granola bars, fruit chews and no sodium rice cakes with peanut butter along with meat, chicken & fish. I have little bread, pasta, and potatoes. I feel so much better and I have a ton of energy now. My clothes are fitting looser and I am extremely happy about this. Mark has started a new work out routine and he is sore but getting into it again. He is eating healthier as well. I am very proud of him.
Spoke to Meme for awhile tonight. She seems to be doing well too. Bob is doing ok. He has a doctors app't at the end of the month so I hope he gets good news. He is such a great guy and doesn't deserve what he is getting. I pray every night for all our family, friends, and their families. I just hope I am helping in some small way. She loves her VW Beetle car. I am so happy for her. I think it was a great move on her part to buy it! I will be seeing it in about 7 weeks. I can't wait to see everyone. I miss them. I know I have said it before but I am going to say it again... I wish I was going home to see you. I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you. I just want to see your face and hear your voice. I want to give you kisses and tell you I love you and to hear you say you love me. I miss you so much Tyler. I say it all the time.
I was looking at old pictures and remembering the times when they were taken. Remembering the memories. It made me smile but also made me shed some tears. This just sucks that you had to go. My heart hurts so much every day. I hate this feeling. Some days I am just so lost and confused and other days I am just sad and lost. I try so hard to stay positive but some days are just so trying for Mom. I want to make you proud of me but I still need to stay true to myself and grieve. I hope I make you proud. I love you.
Thank you for the bright stars that were shining so bright last night in the sky. I whispered to you so I hope you heard me. The moon was beautiful. I didn't get the chance to see the Lunar Eclipse or Red Moon here but it was so big and so bright. I smiled because I knew you were up there watching over Mom & Mark. Please continue to watch over us all. I thank you for all you do and thank the rest of the Angels that help. I will be walking the pups one more time tonight so I hope to see the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for me again.
Have a restful & peaceful evening in the Heavens above. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I miss you like crazy. I love you with all my heart & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Wednesday evening? I hope that you are so happy. I am sure you are doing all that you want and you are flying high and flying freely. Mom is doing well. Today was a pretty good day. Been getting up early in hopes that it makes me go to bed early. I have changed a few things in my life style. I am working out for 1 hour 6 days a week, I am not eating fast food, drinking soda, no snacking at night time anymore, & no eating junk food. I am eating fruit, veggies, granola bars, fruit chews and no sodium rice cakes with peanut butter along with meat, chicken & fish. I have little bread, pasta, and potatoes. I feel so much better and I have a ton of energy now. My clothes are fitting looser and I am extremely happy about this. Mark has started a new work out routine and he is sore but getting into it again. He is eating healthier as well. I am very proud of him.
Spoke to Meme for awhile tonight. She seems to be doing well too. Bob is doing ok. He has a doctors app't at the end of the month so I hope he gets good news. He is such a great guy and doesn't deserve what he is getting. I pray every night for all our family, friends, and their families. I just hope I am helping in some small way. She loves her VW Beetle car. I am so happy for her. I think it was a great move on her part to buy it! I will be seeing it in about 7 weeks. I can't wait to see everyone. I miss them. I know I have said it before but I am going to say it again... I wish I was going home to see you. I wish I could just pick up the phone and call you. I just want to see your face and hear your voice. I want to give you kisses and tell you I love you and to hear you say you love me. I miss you so much Tyler. I say it all the time.
I was looking at old pictures and remembering the times when they were taken. Remembering the memories. It made me smile but also made me shed some tears. This just sucks that you had to go. My heart hurts so much every day. I hate this feeling. Some days I am just so lost and confused and other days I am just sad and lost. I try so hard to stay positive but some days are just so trying for Mom. I want to make you proud of me but I still need to stay true to myself and grieve. I hope I make you proud. I love you.
Thank you for the bright stars that were shining so bright last night in the sky. I whispered to you so I hope you heard me. The moon was beautiful. I didn't get the chance to see the Lunar Eclipse or Red Moon here but it was so big and so bright. I smiled because I knew you were up there watching over Mom & Mark. Please continue to watch over us all. I thank you for all you do and thank the rest of the Angels that help. I will be walking the pups one more time tonight so I hope to see the stars. I will whisper to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for me again.
Have a restful & peaceful evening in the Heavens above. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I miss you like crazy. I love you with all my heart & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, April 14, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing this afternoon? I hope you are in blue skies and sunny.. not what it is doing here... We have had severe thunderstorms and lightning with heavy rain all day. I thought they were pretty cool but your pup Snickers did not agree with me. He has been so scared all day long. Shaking and crying because he, like you hates the thunder and lightning. It was so bad at one point that we actually had a power serge and Snickers was right at my feet. He wanted me to hold him tightly. I ended up laying down on the floor with him until the storm passed. Afterwards he was fine but that 2 hours was pretty long for Mom...lol! It hasn't been raining out for a couple hours but it is starting back up again with the thunder... Snickers again is scared so I may have to cut this letter short today and do another letter later tonight or tomorrow. We will see.
Got to speak to Grandpa for about an hour today. He is doing ok. He was calling to let me know that Grammy was not doing well. Guess she is pretty sick. He is fighting with the nursing home to get them to have her doctor take a look at her. They are taking their time and Grandpa has asked 4 times now and Grammy has also asked... still nothing. Please go be with her. Make sure she is ok. You personally know what she is going through and what that feels like to ask for something and no one does anything about it. I am afraid for her but I know you are watching over her so she is good hands. Grandpa also told me that on Sunday in Church.. Palm Sunday that is there was a lady that came up to him and had made a Cross out of the palms. She handed it to Grandpa and said that you were not forgotten. Grandpa doesn't know who it was but he is going to find out this week in Church. He has the palm in the shape of the Cross that she did near you. I think that was so nice of that woman. Grandpa was so surprised and thankful. If you get a chance please go and thank her. What a sweet gesture she did. I got tears in my eyes as Grandpa was telling me about it. You were so loved and still are by so many people Tyler! It truly is a breath of fresh air to know this. It makes my heart sing : )
As I sit here and type Snickers is on my lap again.... the thunder is loud and bad. It definitely is a challenge to type with 1 hand but that's ok. I know he needs to feel safe. The rain is coming down heavy again. Such a crappy day for weather but as I said before I feel rain is suppose to wash all the negative things away and put positive back into the world.
I am going to close this letter to you. I will write again later or again tomorrow. I hope you have a peaceful night in the Heavens above. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. I love you unconditionally....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing this afternoon? I hope you are in blue skies and sunny.. not what it is doing here... We have had severe thunderstorms and lightning with heavy rain all day. I thought they were pretty cool but your pup Snickers did not agree with me. He has been so scared all day long. Shaking and crying because he, like you hates the thunder and lightning. It was so bad at one point that we actually had a power serge and Snickers was right at my feet. He wanted me to hold him tightly. I ended up laying down on the floor with him until the storm passed. Afterwards he was fine but that 2 hours was pretty long for Mom...lol! It hasn't been raining out for a couple hours but it is starting back up again with the thunder... Snickers again is scared so I may have to cut this letter short today and do another letter later tonight or tomorrow. We will see.
Got to speak to Grandpa for about an hour today. He is doing ok. He was calling to let me know that Grammy was not doing well. Guess she is pretty sick. He is fighting with the nursing home to get them to have her doctor take a look at her. They are taking their time and Grandpa has asked 4 times now and Grammy has also asked... still nothing. Please go be with her. Make sure she is ok. You personally know what she is going through and what that feels like to ask for something and no one does anything about it. I am afraid for her but I know you are watching over her so she is good hands. Grandpa also told me that on Sunday in Church.. Palm Sunday that is there was a lady that came up to him and had made a Cross out of the palms. She handed it to Grandpa and said that you were not forgotten. Grandpa doesn't know who it was but he is going to find out this week in Church. He has the palm in the shape of the Cross that she did near you. I think that was so nice of that woman. Grandpa was so surprised and thankful. If you get a chance please go and thank her. What a sweet gesture she did. I got tears in my eyes as Grandpa was telling me about it. You were so loved and still are by so many people Tyler! It truly is a breath of fresh air to know this. It makes my heart sing : )
As I sit here and type Snickers is on my lap again.... the thunder is loud and bad. It definitely is a challenge to type with 1 hand but that's ok. I know he needs to feel safe. The rain is coming down heavy again. Such a crappy day for weather but as I said before I feel rain is suppose to wash all the negative things away and put positive back into the world.
I am going to close this letter to you. I will write again later or again tomorrow. I hope you have a peaceful night in the Heavens above. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. I love you unconditionally....
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, April 12, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hello sweetheart! How are you doing today on this Saturday evening in Heaven? I hope that you are happy as ever and you are so busy. May you be flying high and flying free today and tonight.
Mom is doing better today. The weather has just been so warm and beautiful. No rain in the last few days so that has been such a nice treat for us here. Yesterday was a tough day for me. Mark & I decided that we were going to rearrange the office so I was moving stuff around and dusting everything.... came to a point where I needed to put some things away in the wicker trunk and that is when I saw it.... your blue fleece blanket you use to lay your head against. At first I picked it up and touched it..smiled and set it down. Mark came into the room and I showed him what I found. I picked it up again and told him it still smelled like you. I placed it down and lost it. Had a huge meltdown. I cried as Mark held me and just listened for a few minutes. He then started to tell me something funny you would say and I started to smile and laugh. Some days are harder than others that is for sure. I miss you every day! It hurts so much still. Mark told me that I would have meltdowns every so often. I told him he was right but what he didn't know is that I have mini ones every day when no one is around me and I am alone. I know you probably see them and that is ok. I just need you to know I am trying..really I am.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last night. I couldn't see many but I saw a few and that was good enough for me. I smiled and whispered to you. Hope you heard me chatting away! I hope that I get the chance to see the stars tonight as well. I know the clouds are rolling in because we are suppose to be getting some rain the next 2 days. Either way as usual.. I will chatting and whispering to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for Mom.
Spoke to Meme tonight. Guess things are the same there for her and Bob. Makes me so sad to hear. I wish I could do more for them but I can't. Please go and be with them. I know they need you badly. Thanks Ty. I also spoke to Grandpa Friday evening. He said that things are well with him and Debbie so that was nice to hear. Guess we are going to try and skype with them soon. I sure hope so. I miss them bunches. I can't wait to see them in 57 days. I do have to say it will be bittersweet for Mom. It will be hard to go back because I have not been to NH since you passed. I promise to come visit you every day for a bit. I really want to even though I know I do not have to go to the cemetery to chat with you because you are not there. As you know I chat with you all the time... day or night. I think of you all the time and wonder what special things you are doing. What other family members are doing. So many questions.... guess it really is time to have another session with Forrest. I keep saying it but I just need to have the money and make the call or send him an email.
I hope that you have a peaceful and relaxing night in the Heavens above. Please watch over us all. Thank you for all you do for us. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Forever. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hello sweetheart! How are you doing today on this Saturday evening in Heaven? I hope that you are happy as ever and you are so busy. May you be flying high and flying free today and tonight.
Mom is doing better today. The weather has just been so warm and beautiful. No rain in the last few days so that has been such a nice treat for us here. Yesterday was a tough day for me. Mark & I decided that we were going to rearrange the office so I was moving stuff around and dusting everything.... came to a point where I needed to put some things away in the wicker trunk and that is when I saw it.... your blue fleece blanket you use to lay your head against. At first I picked it up and touched it..smiled and set it down. Mark came into the room and I showed him what I found. I picked it up again and told him it still smelled like you. I placed it down and lost it. Had a huge meltdown. I cried as Mark held me and just listened for a few minutes. He then started to tell me something funny you would say and I started to smile and laugh. Some days are harder than others that is for sure. I miss you every day! It hurts so much still. Mark told me that I would have meltdowns every so often. I told him he was right but what he didn't know is that I have mini ones every day when no one is around me and I am alone. I know you probably see them and that is ok. I just need you to know I am trying..really I am.
Thank you for the stars shining brightly last night. I couldn't see many but I saw a few and that was good enough for me. I smiled and whispered to you. Hope you heard me chatting away! I hope that I get the chance to see the stars tonight as well. I know the clouds are rolling in because we are suppose to be getting some rain the next 2 days. Either way as usual.. I will chatting and whispering to you as I always do. Hope you will be listening for Mom.
Spoke to Meme tonight. Guess things are the same there for her and Bob. Makes me so sad to hear. I wish I could do more for them but I can't. Please go and be with them. I know they need you badly. Thanks Ty. I also spoke to Grandpa Friday evening. He said that things are well with him and Debbie so that was nice to hear. Guess we are going to try and skype with them soon. I sure hope so. I miss them bunches. I can't wait to see them in 57 days. I do have to say it will be bittersweet for Mom. It will be hard to go back because I have not been to NH since you passed. I promise to come visit you every day for a bit. I really want to even though I know I do not have to go to the cemetery to chat with you because you are not there. As you know I chat with you all the time... day or night. I think of you all the time and wonder what special things you are doing. What other family members are doing. So many questions.... guess it really is time to have another session with Forrest. I keep saying it but I just need to have the money and make the call or send him an email.
I hope that you have a peaceful and relaxing night in the Heavens above. Please watch over us all. Thank you for all you do for us. I love you so much. To the moon and back and all the way around the world. Forever. Sweet dreams my precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, April 10, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweetheart! How are you doing today on this beautiful Thursday afternoon? I can only imagine that you see this kind of weather daily in the Heavens above. Not a cloud in the sky and the color is just so blue. The sun is warm and shining so bright. The temp today here was 85 degrees. I really enjoyed it so much. The sun always makes me feel good and happy. Thank you for the wonderful surprise the last couple of nights. The stars were shining so brightly and there were so many of them. When I was walking the pups I couldn't take my eyes off the night sky. It was just so beautiful. I kept wondering which one you were and then I saw the brightest one in the sky and then I knew. I smiled so big and so wide and whispered to you. Hope you heard Mom! I hope you hear me talking to you all the time. I miss you my sweet son. I love you unconditionally and I always will.
So.. we got so news yesterday from Mark's office....the company that he works for got the contract renewed for another 3 years. With that being said... we will not be moving to Ohio. We will be staying here in Texas for another 3 years. It wasn't the worst news and it wasn't the best either. I like Texas for the most part, but I sure wanted to be closer to our family and friends again. I guess we all will have to be more creative in traveling to see one another. That will be the challenge for both our side and Mark's side of the family. I have faith that we will be able to come up with something.
Plans are coming along for the wedding. Basically we need to get Mom's dress altered and get a few more minor things but other than that we just need to save the money for the catering and we are finished. It is nice to be busy during the day time and get so many things accomplished. I don't watch tv during the daytime anymore. I have started working out again daily and I am feeling so good on that end. I wake up earlier and I go to bed earlier as well. It also helps Mark on his work routine. He has been working from home the last 3 months but has now started to go to the office again for part of the days and works from home in the afternoons. It works out great! The best of both worlds for us.
Mom has been doing a lot of thinking and I am wanting to go back to work again. I don't want to work for anyone so I am thinking of opening up my own store... a Candy Store here in Texas. I think it would be a great idea. I have a few names going around in my head. I have done some research on what it takes and what needs to be done. I need to see if I can get a loan first and if I can then I just need to become a Texas resident with a Texas drivers license, etc... Do you think that is a good idea? I wish you were here with me so you could help me out. I know you would have so many cool ideas on what to do. Help Mom and give me some signs will ya??? I need you Tyler. I will keep you updated on things as they progress.
I hope that tonight I will be able to see the stars shining brightly again. I will look to the sky and whisper to you as I always do. I hope you have a restful and peaceful night in the Heavens above. Fly high and fly free Tyler.... my precious son and Angel above. Watch over us all like I know you always do. I miss you so much and I love you to the moon and back and all the way around the world. Forever...
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
Dear Tyler,
Hi honey! How are you doing today in Heaven? Here it is windy but sunny and blue skies. The temp is not bad either but at some points when the wind blows it is a bit chilly but I will not complain at all. Mom has had a couple off days. More emotional than usual. Cried a lot more then I have in awhile. Guess I needed it. I watched my show that I like.. Long Island Medium and I cried all the way through it. It had 2 Moms on there that lost a son, and a daughter. I could relate to it so much that I just sat there and cried. I let the tears roll down my cheeks. Things that were said and the way they were feeling was all to familiar to Mom. I guess now I know that when I need a good cry I can just sit and watch the show...lol! I get a lot out of watching it. I get to hear how Spirit is and what Spirit actually does to a certain point. It confirms that there is indeed life after death. Just in a different way and that we definitely will all be together some day!
I heard from Aunt Becky today. She was telling me that she was listening to a radio station and they played the song " Men in Black. " She immediately thought of you and she said that she could see you dancing in the Spiritual Realm. She said she smiled and said hello to you. Her email made me cry happy tears. After I read that I said that I missed you so much. Did you hear me? Do you ever hear when I whisper to you? I hope so. I want you to know that I love you so much still and it hurts that I can't here you say it back to me. My heart will remain having a big void in it. It is so hard for some to understand it but I know you do. I know you know what I try to tell you even if I cant get it out the way I want. My life is forever changed the day that I lost you. I know that you are always with me but sometimes I want to be selfish and say that just isn't enough for Mom anymore. I want you to still be here with me so that we can share more together. I want to see you grow and have an adult life. I want to see your smile, hear your voice, and yes... even argue with you! I miss all this. I miss all our special times together. There is nothing more special than a love a Mother has for her child. I have so much love for you. I am so proud of all that you were and all that you did. I was and still am honored that you chose me to be your Mom and experience all that we did together. I love you unconditionally Tyler.
I am hoping that the skies are clear tonight so that I can see you shining brightly down on us. Regardless..as always I will whisper to you so I hope that you will be able to hear Mom. I hope that you have a wonderful evening in the Heaven above. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. Continue to watch over us all. Thanks pumpkin.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi honey! How are you doing today in Heaven? Here it is windy but sunny and blue skies. The temp is not bad either but at some points when the wind blows it is a bit chilly but I will not complain at all. Mom has had a couple off days. More emotional than usual. Cried a lot more then I have in awhile. Guess I needed it. I watched my show that I like.. Long Island Medium and I cried all the way through it. It had 2 Moms on there that lost a son, and a daughter. I could relate to it so much that I just sat there and cried. I let the tears roll down my cheeks. Things that were said and the way they were feeling was all to familiar to Mom. I guess now I know that when I need a good cry I can just sit and watch the show...lol! I get a lot out of watching it. I get to hear how Spirit is and what Spirit actually does to a certain point. It confirms that there is indeed life after death. Just in a different way and that we definitely will all be together some day!
I heard from Aunt Becky today. She was telling me that she was listening to a radio station and they played the song " Men in Black. " She immediately thought of you and she said that she could see you dancing in the Spiritual Realm. She said she smiled and said hello to you. Her email made me cry happy tears. After I read that I said that I missed you so much. Did you hear me? Do you ever hear when I whisper to you? I hope so. I want you to know that I love you so much still and it hurts that I can't here you say it back to me. My heart will remain having a big void in it. It is so hard for some to understand it but I know you do. I know you know what I try to tell you even if I cant get it out the way I want. My life is forever changed the day that I lost you. I know that you are always with me but sometimes I want to be selfish and say that just isn't enough for Mom anymore. I want you to still be here with me so that we can share more together. I want to see you grow and have an adult life. I want to see your smile, hear your voice, and yes... even argue with you! I miss all this. I miss all our special times together. There is nothing more special than a love a Mother has for her child. I have so much love for you. I am so proud of all that you were and all that you did. I was and still am honored that you chose me to be your Mom and experience all that we did together. I love you unconditionally Tyler.
I am hoping that the skies are clear tonight so that I can see you shining brightly down on us. Regardless..as always I will whisper to you so I hope that you will be able to hear Mom. I hope that you have a wonderful evening in the Heaven above. Fly high and fly free my sweet precious son. Continue to watch over us all. Thanks pumpkin.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, April 6, 2014
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