Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday afternoon? I hope that you are as happy as you want to be & doing all the things you need & want to do in the Heavens above. Mom is doing ok today. As you already know I shed a few tears today because of the news that I was awoken to this morning. I don't know what the heck is going on in this world right now but more tragedy hit our small little town we lived in. A couple of my friends that I went to school with.. their sons were in a car accident this morning. 3 of the kids died instantly & 1 girl is up at DHMC in the ICU with several broken bones & bleeding to the brain. I didn't know any of the kids personally but I don't understand why kids have to drive so fast. I know I was once that age & drove fast but not as fast as they were according to the Police ( over 100mph ). I just don't know what they were thinking. Such sadness as 4 families will never be the same again after this early morning. I did receive much more info on this accident but I feel that not all details need to be air on my blog, letters to you, or on the internet in general. I feel so bad for the parents. The way they must feel... not that long ago I was in their position. My world was taken away from me so suddenly without any fair warning or anything that I could do. I felt alone, empty, like the nothing mattered to me anymore. I didn't & still don't at times understand how the world keeps going & people keep living their lives as if nothing ever happened when your world just crashed into a trillion tiny pieces. The loss that they are feeling & the voids they have will never repair. Nothing will replace it. Nothing will for me when I lost you. I have a permanent void. That will never heal no matter how much time goes by. You were & still are my everything. My one & only forever. I have been & will continue to pray for these families that are going through this horrific ordeal. 
 My day today started early & getting up & surprising Mark with coffee & breakfast. Did the morning dishes, worked out, took my shower, did some stuff around the house some more, & finally came up to the loft to write you this letter. The day has gone by quite fast. It is 5:30 pm & I still need to make dinner for us. We got some good thunder & lightning this afternoon. Snicks was so scared. I felt bad for him but I did get angry a little. I guess I don't understand why he pees every where when it thunders. I know he doesn't like it but he is safe with us. I don't know what to do about this & nobody has any advice for me. If you & Max can comfort him during those times I would gladly appreciate it. Thanks!
 Friday night the moon was so big & bright. It was beautiful. I smiled so big looking at it. I hope that tonight I will be able to see the moon & stars shining brightly. I am not sure though because it looks quite cloudy out right now. Either way, as always, I will whisper to you. I hope you can hear Mom. I believe that you do so that is all that matters to me = ]
 Tyler, please always know you are missed by so many people in this world, but nobody misses you more than Mom. I love you with all my heart & then some. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Please watch over us all. We need you! Thanks pumpkin.
 I hope you have a wonderful night. Do all that you want. Fly high & fly freely. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. When you see Amy tell her hello for me & give her a hug from Mom. I had a dream last night & she was in it. Miss her too along with so many more xoxo.