Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How is my sweet son doing today in the Heaven's above? I sure do wonder what you do all day & night. How do you occupy your time... the questions just never seem to end with curiosity when it comes to you now. Mom is doing ok. I had another bad nightmare again this morning. I have been having them a lot lately & I can tell you that I don't like them one bit. I don't know why I am having them but they bother me. I don't need to go into details because I am sure you already know. If you can help Mom out in any way that would great. Thank you so much!
 I wanted to write the 2 daily prayers for you...so here it goes... August 28th~ As a deer longs for flowing streams, so my soul longs for you, O God. So many times in my life, I have felt my faith drain out of me, leaving me feeling high & dry. Lost & afraid, I have wandered alone & felt the abandonment of those I thought were my friends. I pray that you will never abandon me & that you will strengthen my faith again so that I will never feel horribly alone. I know that you are always with me, but my heart & my soul need to be reminded of that daily, especially when things get chaotic & I feel as if I am at the end of my rope. Please give me the faith I need to get through one day at a time, for I know that will be enough. Great faith is not found; it is made of tiny demonstrations of commitment on a daily basis. Tyler..... this prayer really hits me hard. Since I was 16 years old I feel that I have had a hard life, but I am not complaining. All that I have gone through has made me who I am today. I know my life was not as hard as yours was when you were here but you know what I am talking about. During the hardest times of my life I stayed away from my faith instead of getting closer. I can't do anything about that because that is my past. All I can do is go forward. I believe that my faith has grown stronger since you passed away. I hope that I never again falter away from it. 
 August 29th~ To those who are called, who are beloved in God the Father & kept safe for Jesus Christ: May mercy, peace, & love be yours in abundance. Lord, how often in our search for peace do we forget to simply follow your gentle guidelines? You tell us to forgive others. If we do, we will have peace. You tell us to love our enemies. If we do, we will have peace. You tell us not to worry about what we will wear or what we will eat, but to take comfort by considering the lilies of the field & the birds in the air. If we do, we will have peace. You tell us not to worry so much about storing up stuff, but to store up treasures in Heaven. If we do, we will have peace. Thank you, Lord, for showing us the way. Keep our feet on he path to peace that you planned for us. Amen. This another great prayer to read over & over. I have been trying to forgive & make peace with all the people who have failed me in many ways. I talk to them, some I write letters to... even though I don't get any answers I know in my heart that I have tried & that is what matters. In the last 1 1/2 years I have been trying to live a more simple life style with not a lot of " stuff ". I never thought I could do it but it was actually easier than I thought it would be. I totally recommend it it everyone! Mark has helped me along the way. He really is living up to his promises to you. 
 Well today the weather was cooler & it rained. The skies are cloudy so I am not sure that I will see the stars shining bright. Haven't seen the moon out in several evenings now. I will, as always whisper to you so I hope you can really hear me. I hope you know each & every time I talk to you.... which is so many times throughout the day. I miss you so much Tyler. These last several days have been hard for some reason. I am more emotional & not sure why. 
 I hope you have a restful & peaceful night. Sweet dreams my precious son. Please watch over us all. Thank you for all you do for us. It means so much. Keep your signs coming that you are around. Those make me smile. Thanks! Forever in my heart, mind, & soul. 
 I love you, Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!