Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing tonight on this Monday evening? I hope that everything is peaceful & happy where you are. Mom is doing well. It has been another 3 busy days here where I am. Mark & I did a lot of shopping for things that we needed for the new place. It is starting to all come together. We just need a couple more big pieces of furniture & then our stuff from Texas & we are finally all set. Hopefully things will be all set by the end of next month. My fingers are crossed for this. Lots of money to shell out for everything but I think once everything is finally finished we will be able to save & breathe. Another long process. This is the 3rd time in less then 3 years.... just too much. Don't think we will move for awhile now though. Mark really likes his job & he is getting into a good routine as I am too. He gets home at a descent hour now which is nice. I miss him during the days but appreciate the weekends more now when I am with him. Thank you for watching over him daily as he goes to & from work. Plus watching over mom during the day too. It means so much to know that you are with us. Thank you pumpkin. 
 Today when we were out, Mark brought me to a place that he knew I would love.... it was the Ocean. Part of the Atlantic Ocean. It was really cold but so pretty. I was happy to know that we live so close to it which will be nice in the summertime. It is such a quaint little place. I immediately thought of you. You would have loved it there. I think you would have loved where we are now too. So many places to go to & see plus tons of places to go for walks. I sure do miss those times Tyler. Just us going for walks & talking. Spending quality time together was always nice. I cherished them & I always will. I miss you so much. I think that you know that though. I know you see that when you are with Mom. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Never forget that either! You still continue to be my world even though we are in separate places. 
 I have a few daily prayers to write to you so I want to start them now. January 17~ By grace you have been saved. Supreme Lord, you can't make me new unless I first soften my heart, & yet I'm resistant. Your grace can't take residence within me unless I ask you in, but I've been stubbornly denying you entry. You can't be my salvation until I accept your grace, but I've refused your help. Please, help me offer up every bit of my life to you over & over again until I'm made completely new by the Holy Spirit. I humbly ask in Jesus' wondrous name. Amen.
 January 18~ To all who received him, who believed in his name, he gave power to become children of God. Dear heavenly Father, when I was a child, I went to my Mother for comfort. She held me on her lap, rocked me close to her heart, & wiped away my tears. When I became an adult, I also became a parent & had no one to turn to for shelter. That is when I learned that you are my loving father, my Abba, who will always hold me close, just as my Mother once did. No matter how old I grow, I can still feel the safety of a child held in loving arms, comforted, & loved beyond all measures. I know that I am yours, a child of God, who knows my name & loves me for all eternity. God's love for us is complete & constant. Thank you Lord for comforting me in every time of need that I have needed. Thank you for loving me this much. 
 January 19~ All of us, with unveiled faces, seeing the glory of the Lord as though reflected in a mirror, are being transformed into the same image from one degree of glory to another. Lord, some days I wonder what's happening to this body of mine. Aches & pains appear for no reason, & the wrinkles are so plentiful there's no use counting anymore. I know you look at inner beauty, & not outward beauty, so I come to you to ask you to give me your perspective on this whole aging process. Am I as beautiful in your eyes as I was the day you made me? That's what I choose to believe, Lord, & that's all that really matters to me. Keep making me more beautiful on the inside, & I'll try to make friends with the person in the mirror. Ok, so this prayer hits home on so many levels for Mom. I have always struggled with the outside appearance of myself. Why did I need glasses at such a young age, why am I not skinny & always fighting the weight that I am, why is my skin not flawless, why do I have so many scars, why aren't my teeth so straight & have a pearly white smile, etc... the list goes on & on. I have struggled with this for so many years & now I am done. Beauty is on the inside not outside. Never judge a book by it's cover. Everyone has beauty just not everyone sees it. I judge no one. I don't " pick on " anyone either. I don't know their story or what they have been through. I don't want it done to me so why would I do that to someone else? Again, I wouldn't. I am who I am. I ask for no one to like me or love me. I won't change for anyone either.... just myself. I am finally at the point where I am comfortable with who I am & what I look like. Yeah, I could be skinnier & prettier, but I am to those who love me already. I am all that & more to God. That is all that matters. I am happy with myself at this time... all the " battle scars ", the heavier weight, the not so perfect teeth, etc... I am me & I am finally ok with that. Thank you Lord for helping me see this. Amen. 
 Well the night sky is completely upon us now. The sky is clear so I should be able to see the stars & moon. No matter what as always I will whisper to you Tyler. I hope you hear me every night. Please continue to watch over us. Means so much to us all. I hope you have a restful evening or eventful evening if you have things to do. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I miss love you beyond anything I could ever express. Hope to see you in my dreams tonight. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

P.S. Wanted to let you know that it is Uncle Ray's Birthday today. You might want to go visit him & say hello. Just don't scare him...lol!