Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Tuesday afternoon? I am hoping that you are smiling & happy where you are today! Hope you are joking & giving your Cheshire grin smile to all! Mom is having kinda a down day today. I cried a little bit knowing that today was the 20th of January & it has been 19 months today that you went away. It is so hard to believe that much time has really gone by. Some days it seems longer though & other days it seems like yesterday. The whole thing is just hard on Mom & many others. It just plain sucks. I know where you are there is no concept of time so to you it seems like merely seconds that we have been apart. I am glad that it feels that way for you. I wouldn't want you to have to deal with what I do on a daily basis. I have trying to keep myself busy today with doing laundry, cleaning the apartment, dusting, sweeping, etc... when I am doing those things it keeps my mind from wandering. It helps just a little though. I am trying... Lord knows I am so that I can get through every day without you. I just want you to be happy which I know you are & I want you to grow as much as you can, learn as much as much as you want to & need to. I want so bad to make you proud of your Mom. I know you want to see my smile, hear my laugh, & for Mom to be happy. I am trying to do all those things...I really am. Even when it doesn't seem like it. You are always in my mind. I still hear your voice in my head. I never want to lose that. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
 Last night when I was walking Snicks I saw the stars shining brightly in the sky. I instantly smiled & whispered to you. Hope you heard Mom! The sky was so clear, but I saw no moon. I thought that was a little strange, but maybe tonight. 
 Here is the daily prayer for today. January 20~ We love because he first loved us. Lord Jesus, how blessed are we that you left your heavenly kingdom to dwell among us & show us what real love looks like! Without your example, we'd still be looking for love in all the wrong places. Thank you, Lord, for keeping your instruction so simple to understand, even though it's often so hard to follow. Simply love one another, is that it? Okay, Lord, if you say so. It's the only right response after all you've done for us. Love God first, & all of your other relationships will fall into place. So true... much to say on this prayer today. Thank you Lord for the unconditional love that you show & give to my family, friends, pets & myself. It is incredible the feeling that it has on me. Thank you so much. Amen.
 I guess I have kept myself busier than I thought. The evening sky will be falling on us in about an hour or so. Today flew by now that I am thinking about this & writing to you. The days are just so short. I can not wait to turn the clocks back & have more daylight then darkness. Makes for a very long evening. I can't wait for the weather to warm up either. I really miss the Texas weather. This cold stuff is for the birds...lol! 
 I hope that later this evening you are relaxing or doing something that you like to do. I hope it is peaceful if that is what you want. Please continue to fly high & fly free my sweet precious son. Watch over us all like I know you do. Thank you! Please tell everyone that you are around that I love them & miss them too. I will whisper to you later tonight. Hope you will hear me & will be listening out for Mom. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you & miss you more than I can ever express or more than anyone will ever know.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!