Sunday, May 31, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this rainy Sunday? I hope that you are somewhere warm & the sun is shining. The day started out really nice & humid but after a few hours it turned cold & we got 2" of rain in less than an hour. Guess we are suppose to get 1 - 3 " more in the next couple hours as well. We need the rain so it is nice. We are suppose to get it most of the week too.
Our day has been pretty quiet. We really didn't do all that much. Went & got a couple things at the store & was back home in less than an hour. Mark will be doing a job tomorrow so we needed to have a down day so he could just relax for tomorrow morning. Please watch over him as he travels out of town for a few hours. Make sure he is safe & that Mom is too while he is away. Thanks Ty!
Spoke to Bean today. Mark is going to fix her broken computer for her. He is also going to get the necessary books needed so that she can start her schooling for Pharmacy Tech. I am excited for her as I am sure you are as well. Hope to see Bean soon. I miss her. Haven't seen her since the wedding/her Birthday. She tells me from time to time that she sees you& feels you around her. I have no doubt as you two were very close. Aunt Becky & I spoke too. She was saying that John has to have another surgery again. This time it is for a hernia. I know you will be looking out for him as well. Much appreciated my sweet son. Uncle Joe is doing ok. He is opening his eyes now. Still can't talk as he has been trached liked you were. He is moving his arms to so that is a good sign. Grandpa goes & sees him every couple days. Uncle Joe is a tough cookie. Bob is doing better. Meme says that he is eating, drinking, & doing a little more than usual. I love to hear that news. I know you are watching over everyone & making sure we are safe, healthy, & happy. I can't ever thank you enough for all that you do. It means the world to Mom.
Pups are having a lazy day because of the rain. They are sleeping a lot. Nice change as they are not barking all the time..lol. We took them with us today so that they could get out of the house for a bit. They liked it = ]
Here are the daily prayers for you for Saturday & tonight. May 30~ Jesus answered & said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Spiritual birth is amazing, Father! It's a miracle no less exciting than the birth of a baby. Your word says that it causes even the angels in heaven to rejoice. Thank you for my own spiritual birth. It's the reason I'm praying right now & enjoying this fellowship with you. It's so good to be your child. Today I'll just bask in that reality.
May 31~ I do set my bow in the cloud, & it shall be for a token of a covenant between me & the earth. God gave the rainbow as a sign of his promise to never flood the entire earth again. The color that spread out in spectrum, as sunlight passes through water droplets in the sky, speak of God's faithfulness in keeping his promise to Noah & to all the generations that have followed. Faithfulness marks God's character. It is who he is, through & through. Let every rainbow we see remind us of God's faithful love & let praise flow from our hearts to the one who always keeps his promises.
Last night the sky was so clear & the moon was shining so bright & I could see a few stars. I whispered to you as I always do. Hope you heard Mom. I have been reading things saying that on Tuesday, June 2nd the moon is suppose to be a pink color & it is called the Strawberry Moon. I hope that I get to see that. I bet it will be so pretty. I know I won't see anything tonight as the weather is yucky. It is so cold & rainy right now. I will whisper to you anyways so I hope you will be listening out for Mom tonight. I hope that you have a peaceful & restful night. May it be all you want it to be. I hope that if you get a chance to sleep tonight you have the most wonderful dreams my sweet precious son. I hope I see you again in my dreams tonight like I did last night. Thank you for being there. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the wall around the world. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this rainy Sunday? I hope that you are somewhere warm & the sun is shining. The day started out really nice & humid but after a few hours it turned cold & we got 2" of rain in less than an hour. Guess we are suppose to get 1 - 3 " more in the next couple hours as well. We need the rain so it is nice. We are suppose to get it most of the week too.
Our day has been pretty quiet. We really didn't do all that much. Went & got a couple things at the store & was back home in less than an hour. Mark will be doing a job tomorrow so we needed to have a down day so he could just relax for tomorrow morning. Please watch over him as he travels out of town for a few hours. Make sure he is safe & that Mom is too while he is away. Thanks Ty!
Spoke to Bean today. Mark is going to fix her broken computer for her. He is also going to get the necessary books needed so that she can start her schooling for Pharmacy Tech. I am excited for her as I am sure you are as well. Hope to see Bean soon. I miss her. Haven't seen her since the wedding/her Birthday. She tells me from time to time that she sees you& feels you around her. I have no doubt as you two were very close. Aunt Becky & I spoke too. She was saying that John has to have another surgery again. This time it is for a hernia. I know you will be looking out for him as well. Much appreciated my sweet son. Uncle Joe is doing ok. He is opening his eyes now. Still can't talk as he has been trached liked you were. He is moving his arms to so that is a good sign. Grandpa goes & sees him every couple days. Uncle Joe is a tough cookie. Bob is doing better. Meme says that he is eating, drinking, & doing a little more than usual. I love to hear that news. I know you are watching over everyone & making sure we are safe, healthy, & happy. I can't ever thank you enough for all that you do. It means the world to Mom.
Pups are having a lazy day because of the rain. They are sleeping a lot. Nice change as they are not barking all the time..lol. We took them with us today so that they could get out of the house for a bit. They liked it = ]
Here are the daily prayers for you for Saturday & tonight. May 30~ Jesus answered & said unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto thee, Except a man be born, he cannot see the kingdom of God. Spiritual birth is amazing, Father! It's a miracle no less exciting than the birth of a baby. Your word says that it causes even the angels in heaven to rejoice. Thank you for my own spiritual birth. It's the reason I'm praying right now & enjoying this fellowship with you. It's so good to be your child. Today I'll just bask in that reality.
May 31~ I do set my bow in the cloud, & it shall be for a token of a covenant between me & the earth. God gave the rainbow as a sign of his promise to never flood the entire earth again. The color that spread out in spectrum, as sunlight passes through water droplets in the sky, speak of God's faithfulness in keeping his promise to Noah & to all the generations that have followed. Faithfulness marks God's character. It is who he is, through & through. Let every rainbow we see remind us of God's faithful love & let praise flow from our hearts to the one who always keeps his promises.
Last night the sky was so clear & the moon was shining so bright & I could see a few stars. I whispered to you as I always do. Hope you heard Mom. I have been reading things saying that on Tuesday, June 2nd the moon is suppose to be a pink color & it is called the Strawberry Moon. I hope that I get to see that. I bet it will be so pretty. I know I won't see anything tonight as the weather is yucky. It is so cold & rainy right now. I will whisper to you anyways so I hope you will be listening out for Mom tonight. I hope that you have a peaceful & restful night. May it be all you want it to be. I hope that if you get a chance to sleep tonight you have the most wonderful dreams my sweet precious son. I hope I see you again in my dreams tonight like I did last night. Thank you for being there. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the wall around the world. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, May 29, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Today is a pretty good day for Mom. I did my test today for school & I will be submitting it in a couple hours. I got my test score back from a couple days ago & I got a 98! I was so happy with this one. It was tough for sure. This one that I am submitting is the 1st set of actual transcriptions. I am assuming that I will get a low grade due to this being the 1st ones. I need to see what I am doing right & what I am doing wrong. It will suck to get a lower grade but I will get my GPA back up. As long as I stay in a : A grade I will be fine! I will keep you posted.
The weather is sunny, & beautiful. The wind is blowing but it is a nice breeze. The pups enjoyed a nice walk earlier today. Ozzy just loves going out & running. He is cute to watch. Princess really likes it as well. She likes to roll in the dirt..lol! I am sure you are laughing when you see them. I know you think they are cute too. I sure do miss Snickers & Max though. I say it all the time. I know you are taking really good care of them for Mom. I know they are happy to be pain free & with you again. That makes me smile.
Mark did indeed get the email with the job offer he was waiting for. Unfortunately, the company decided that they wanted him at a lower rate then what they originally said. That made Mark think about things & counter offered them. He didn't hear anything from them today so hopefully he will come Monday. I just hope that he didn't do anything to screw it up. It is so sad that one has to do numbers to see what one needs to survive. It is very expensive to live where we do. This is our downfall for us. We are not in the position to move at this time so we have to deal with what we have. Makes it harder but I know we will survive things. We always do. Thank you again so much for helping us through this difficult 6 weeks. It means so much to Mom to know you were watching over us. I will always need you. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you beyond this world & more. Never forget this!
Not much else is new or needed for updates today. I am sure over the weekend I will have some on Bob & Uncle Joe. Until then I will say that " no news is good news. "
Here is the daily pray for you today. May 29~ But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord. Sacrifice doesn't always come easily, Lord. Please show me those opportunities you have placed in my day for me to lay down my own to-do list & be aware of the greater things you are doing through me. Don't let me miss those opportunities, Lord. Please do not allow any grumbling on my part to deter your work. Grant me the grace to make any sacrifices you need from me today.
The evening sky will be upon us in a couple of hours. I look forward to looking to the sky & being able to see the stars & moon. Last night was just too cloudy. There was nothing so maybe tonight. Mark & Mom have been sitting on our balcony for a couple hours nightly. Just enjoying the evening breeze & the fresh air. It helps me sleep so much better & the dogs sleep better too. This is always a plus for us..lol! I always look to the sky & talk to you. Do you hear Mom? I believe that you do. I will whisper to you again tonight so be listening out for Mom.
I hope you have a wonderful & peaceful night. I wonder what you do. I know that there is no concept of time where you are so I wonder do you keep busy at all times, do you have down time, what exactly do you do??? I still want to have another reading with Forrest soon so I hope that you will come through again so I can get some answers to things that I am curious about. I am not sure if you sleep in the spiritual realm but I always wish you a good night & sweet dreams. I hope you are with Mom tonight & I see you in my dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son. I miss & love you beyond anything that I can ever say. I know you know how much though. I know you see & feel it. Continue to watch over us all from above. Give big kisses to the pups for Mom & also hugs to all that I miss as well. Many family & friends. Thanks T!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Today is a pretty good day for Mom. I did my test today for school & I will be submitting it in a couple hours. I got my test score back from a couple days ago & I got a 98! I was so happy with this one. It was tough for sure. This one that I am submitting is the 1st set of actual transcriptions. I am assuming that I will get a low grade due to this being the 1st ones. I need to see what I am doing right & what I am doing wrong. It will suck to get a lower grade but I will get my GPA back up. As long as I stay in a : A grade I will be fine! I will keep you posted.
The weather is sunny, & beautiful. The wind is blowing but it is a nice breeze. The pups enjoyed a nice walk earlier today. Ozzy just loves going out & running. He is cute to watch. Princess really likes it as well. She likes to roll in the dirt..lol! I am sure you are laughing when you see them. I know you think they are cute too. I sure do miss Snickers & Max though. I say it all the time. I know you are taking really good care of them for Mom. I know they are happy to be pain free & with you again. That makes me smile.
Mark did indeed get the email with the job offer he was waiting for. Unfortunately, the company decided that they wanted him at a lower rate then what they originally said. That made Mark think about things & counter offered them. He didn't hear anything from them today so hopefully he will come Monday. I just hope that he didn't do anything to screw it up. It is so sad that one has to do numbers to see what one needs to survive. It is very expensive to live where we do. This is our downfall for us. We are not in the position to move at this time so we have to deal with what we have. Makes it harder but I know we will survive things. We always do. Thank you again so much for helping us through this difficult 6 weeks. It means so much to Mom to know you were watching over us. I will always need you. I miss you so much Tyler. I love you beyond this world & more. Never forget this!
Not much else is new or needed for updates today. I am sure over the weekend I will have some on Bob & Uncle Joe. Until then I will say that " no news is good news. "
Here is the daily pray for you today. May 29~ But I will sacrifice unto thee with the voice of thanksgiving; I will pay that that I have vowed. Salvation is of the Lord. Sacrifice doesn't always come easily, Lord. Please show me those opportunities you have placed in my day for me to lay down my own to-do list & be aware of the greater things you are doing through me. Don't let me miss those opportunities, Lord. Please do not allow any grumbling on my part to deter your work. Grant me the grace to make any sacrifices you need from me today.
The evening sky will be upon us in a couple of hours. I look forward to looking to the sky & being able to see the stars & moon. Last night was just too cloudy. There was nothing so maybe tonight. Mark & Mom have been sitting on our balcony for a couple hours nightly. Just enjoying the evening breeze & the fresh air. It helps me sleep so much better & the dogs sleep better too. This is always a plus for us..lol! I always look to the sky & talk to you. Do you hear Mom? I believe that you do. I will whisper to you again tonight so be listening out for Mom.
I hope you have a wonderful & peaceful night. I wonder what you do. I know that there is no concept of time where you are so I wonder do you keep busy at all times, do you have down time, what exactly do you do??? I still want to have another reading with Forrest soon so I hope that you will come through again so I can get some answers to things that I am curious about. I am not sure if you sleep in the spiritual realm but I always wish you a good night & sweet dreams. I hope you are with Mom tonight & I see you in my dreams. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son. I miss & love you beyond anything that I can ever say. I know you know how much though. I know you see & feel it. Continue to watch over us all from above. Give big kisses to the pups for Mom & also hugs to all that I miss as well. Many family & friends. Thanks T!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today? It has been a fairly descent day for Mom. The weather has changed so much from 2 hours ago. It was warm & sunny & now it is dark, overcast & cloudy. Think we are headed for a pretty good thunderstorm in a little bit. The wind has picked up & it looks quite nasty. I wanted to write to you now so that just in case we do get a good storm all our electronics are off & safe. I know you understand because that is what we used to do, remember?
Mark finely got a job offer late last night. It came in his email. He was very excited. It was not his 1st choice but it was his 2nd so he said he would take it. It is awaiting another email with all the details for him to accept. Should be in his email tomorrow as they want him to start on Monday. Thank you Tyler, & to all the Angels, family & friends that have been praying for us. Thank you to the Lord God as he watched out for us & provided all that we needed to stay afloat the last 6 weeks. Prayers work!
Bob went to a doctor's visit today. He called me to let me know what took place. The new doctor was really nice & took him off 2 whole medicines. His pace maker is working correctly & his heart is working the way it should for someone his age. This is such great news! I am so happy for him. Meme was quite upbeat as well. I hope this is what Bob needed so that he can now have a little pep in his step. Finely some good news for a change. Maybe our family luck is turning around. Uncle Joe is doing better too. Just spoke to Aunt Becky & she was telling me that John has to have another surgery. Poor guy, he can't catch a break either. I know you will continue to watch over him & our entire family & friends. Thank you so much pumpkin.
Think that is the updates for the day. The night sky is upon us & it is a cloudy night. I know I wont be seeing much in the sky tonight but no matter what Mom will still be whispering to you as I do nightly. The wind is still whipping & boy is it muggy outside...the weather that when you walk out you are dripping wet with sweat...remember those days? We didn't like that weather but we managed. When Mom lived in Oklahoma & Texas the weather was like that all the time! We both got used to it. Now the cold is what we have to get used to again = [
Here is the daily prayer for today. May 28~ Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished; but he that gathereth by labour shall increase. I thank you for my work, Lord. And please bless me in it. Most of all, help me to remember that the paycheck worth working for consists of more than just money. It must include meaning & significance, for myself & others.
I hope you have a restful evening tonight. May it be all that you need it to be. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you every minute of the day. I always will. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I hope to see you in my own dreams tonight.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing today? It has been a fairly descent day for Mom. The weather has changed so much from 2 hours ago. It was warm & sunny & now it is dark, overcast & cloudy. Think we are headed for a pretty good thunderstorm in a little bit. The wind has picked up & it looks quite nasty. I wanted to write to you now so that just in case we do get a good storm all our electronics are off & safe. I know you understand because that is what we used to do, remember?
Mark finely got a job offer late last night. It came in his email. He was very excited. It was not his 1st choice but it was his 2nd so he said he would take it. It is awaiting another email with all the details for him to accept. Should be in his email tomorrow as they want him to start on Monday. Thank you Tyler, & to all the Angels, family & friends that have been praying for us. Thank you to the Lord God as he watched out for us & provided all that we needed to stay afloat the last 6 weeks. Prayers work!
Bob went to a doctor's visit today. He called me to let me know what took place. The new doctor was really nice & took him off 2 whole medicines. His pace maker is working correctly & his heart is working the way it should for someone his age. This is such great news! I am so happy for him. Meme was quite upbeat as well. I hope this is what Bob needed so that he can now have a little pep in his step. Finely some good news for a change. Maybe our family luck is turning around. Uncle Joe is doing better too. Just spoke to Aunt Becky & she was telling me that John has to have another surgery. Poor guy, he can't catch a break either. I know you will continue to watch over him & our entire family & friends. Thank you so much pumpkin.
Think that is the updates for the day. The night sky is upon us & it is a cloudy night. I know I wont be seeing much in the sky tonight but no matter what Mom will still be whispering to you as I do nightly. The wind is still whipping & boy is it muggy outside...the weather that when you walk out you are dripping wet with sweat...remember those days? We didn't like that weather but we managed. When Mom lived in Oklahoma & Texas the weather was like that all the time! We both got used to it. Now the cold is what we have to get used to again = [
Here is the daily prayer for today. May 28~ Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished; but he that gathereth by labour shall increase. I thank you for my work, Lord. And please bless me in it. Most of all, help me to remember that the paycheck worth working for consists of more than just money. It must include meaning & significance, for myself & others.
I hope you have a restful evening tonight. May it be all that you need it to be. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you every minute of the day. I always will. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I hope to see you in my own dreams tonight.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope that where you are there is sunshine & happiness all around you. Today, the weather is beautiful. The sun is shining & the wind is blowing & it just is the perfect temp outside. Not cold & not hot. Wish it could be like this year round. I would love it! It is definitely our kind of weather.
Mom submitted another test today. I think that I did fairly well. It was another 30 sentences of dictation & this time it didn't take me that long to do so I think I am getting a little better at it. I am 32% done with the course & my GPA is still a 4.0. I am very proud of myself. Hope you are smiling down on Mom & that you are proud of me too. It is because of taking care of you all those years that I did that I am familiar with a lot of the terminology that we have.
Lets see... what is there to update... Mark got a couple calls today for possible jobs. It is the beginning stages but it is a start. The 2 he wanted fell through as they said they really wanted him but he was way over qualified for the positions. There is another one that could possibly be promising but it would mean a huge move again. It is in Chicago. A plane ride away from family but not as far as Texas was. I know you are doing all you can daily to help him find a job & again we both appreciate it so much. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Meme called today. I am so worried as she told me she is frustrated & discouraged with everything. She just doesn't know anything anymore. Bob fell again yesterday when she was at work. Guess did a number to himself & knocked over several things when he went down. That poor guy. My heart hurts for him. I hope they can catch a break & things can start to get a little better.
Uncle Joe is doing somewhat better. His eyes are open now. He can't speak as he is still intubated by mouth still. He has a twitch in his shoulders but that is because he was weened off certain meds. This is a step in the right direction. I hope things start looking up for him as well.
The pups are doing well. Ozzy has now mastered walking down the stairs & up the stairs. It is so cute when he does it. He is a good pup. You would have loved him, Tyler. Princess is doing well too. She won't walk down stairs yet or even try to but hey she is a lady after all...lol. Her name fits her. You would have thought she was just the sweetest thing. I know she would have loved you too. She would have become your pup for sure.
Think that is all the updates I have for today. Here is the daily prayer for you. May 27~ Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Lord, on days when everything seems to go wrong, help me to remember that you are always nearby to offer comfort. It is easy to get overwhelmed & feel lost & alone in this world, but deep down I know that is never the case. You are always at the ready to help---I just need to remember to take a moment to stop, breathe, & pray.
The sky right now is clear & beautiful. I hope that it stays this way as it changes to the night sky. This way I will be sure to see the stars shining bright & perhaps see the moon as well. Regardless of what the sky is later when evening falls upon us I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope that you have a wonderful night, Tyler. May it be all that you need it to be. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I hope I get to see you in my own dreams tonight. I love you & I miss you so much. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? I hope that where you are there is sunshine & happiness all around you. Today, the weather is beautiful. The sun is shining & the wind is blowing & it just is the perfect temp outside. Not cold & not hot. Wish it could be like this year round. I would love it! It is definitely our kind of weather.
Mom submitted another test today. I think that I did fairly well. It was another 30 sentences of dictation & this time it didn't take me that long to do so I think I am getting a little better at it. I am 32% done with the course & my GPA is still a 4.0. I am very proud of myself. Hope you are smiling down on Mom & that you are proud of me too. It is because of taking care of you all those years that I did that I am familiar with a lot of the terminology that we have.
Lets see... what is there to update... Mark got a couple calls today for possible jobs. It is the beginning stages but it is a start. The 2 he wanted fell through as they said they really wanted him but he was way over qualified for the positions. There is another one that could possibly be promising but it would mean a huge move again. It is in Chicago. A plane ride away from family but not as far as Texas was. I know you are doing all you can daily to help him find a job & again we both appreciate it so much. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Meme called today. I am so worried as she told me she is frustrated & discouraged with everything. She just doesn't know anything anymore. Bob fell again yesterday when she was at work. Guess did a number to himself & knocked over several things when he went down. That poor guy. My heart hurts for him. I hope they can catch a break & things can start to get a little better.
Uncle Joe is doing somewhat better. His eyes are open now. He can't speak as he is still intubated by mouth still. He has a twitch in his shoulders but that is because he was weened off certain meds. This is a step in the right direction. I hope things start looking up for him as well.
The pups are doing well. Ozzy has now mastered walking down the stairs & up the stairs. It is so cute when he does it. He is a good pup. You would have loved him, Tyler. Princess is doing well too. She won't walk down stairs yet or even try to but hey she is a lady after all...lol. Her name fits her. You would have thought she was just the sweetest thing. I know she would have loved you too. She would have become your pup for sure.
Think that is all the updates I have for today. Here is the daily prayer for you. May 27~ Comfort ye, comfort ye my people, saith your God. Lord, on days when everything seems to go wrong, help me to remember that you are always nearby to offer comfort. It is easy to get overwhelmed & feel lost & alone in this world, but deep down I know that is never the case. You are always at the ready to help---I just need to remember to take a moment to stop, breathe, & pray.
The sky right now is clear & beautiful. I hope that it stays this way as it changes to the night sky. This way I will be sure to see the stars shining bright & perhaps see the moon as well. Regardless of what the sky is later when evening falls upon us I will whisper to you as I always do. I hope that you have a wonderful night, Tyler. May it be all that you need it to be. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. I hope I get to see you in my own dreams tonight. I love you & I miss you so much. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom has had a very busy day with school work. I wanted you to know that I did start writing to you last night but as I was writing something happened & I went to hit the " shift " key & I ended up deleting it all. I was so angry & upset that I walked away from the computer & didn't turn it back on again. I am so sorry. I wanted to wish you a Happy Memorial Day to you on here as well. I did wish you one as I was chatting with you though. Mom & Mark did nothing the entire weekend. It was a very low key, not go anywhere kind of thing. We stayed in on Saturday & Monday & watched movies all day. Sunday, we did go out for about an hour & did the shopping we needed to do & that was it. It was so nice to have a few down days. I know you have loved the movies we watched... they were Taken 3, Dracula Untold, Dumb & Dumber 2, Wild Card, & I know there was another one but I can't think of it right now. Anyways.... lets see about some updates on the family. Meme called & told me that Bob fell again a couple nights ago. Guess it was a pretty good fall. I feel so bad for him, Ty. He is a good man & does not deserve anything that he has been given..just like you didn't deserve it either. I fear for him & Meme. I wish I could do more but I can't. It hurts Mom to watch this. I know you are with them all the time. Thank you for this. Makes me feel a little better knowing they are in good hands with you. Uncle Joe is still the same. No changes. Grandpa keeps me pretty updated on him. It has been almost 1 month now since his surgery. Great Grammy still does not know & Uncle Joe still doesn't know that his son passed away 2 weeks ago. Breaks my heart on this as well. Mom is all better. Her infection is all gone. I am back to being myself again. Just making sure that I stay hydrated so that I can keep the infection away. Thank you for being there with me & watching over Mom. It means so much to me. I love you & miss you so much.
I found out over the weekend that Megan is pregnant! She is having a boy. I know you are happy for her as well. You two were close when Ramon & Mom were together. Guess she found out last Wednesday that she is due on October 15th. That was the day that Ramon & Mom got married. Funny how things like that happen. She will be a wonderful Mom as she is great with children. I chatted with her over the computer & wished her luck. She said that both her Mom & Dad were excited. I am sure they are as they are awaiting their 1st grand baby.
Everyone else seems to be doing well. Haven't spoken to Aunt Becky in about 1 1/2 weeks now so I guess I will be given her a call to make sure things are well on their end. Brandy is good too. Grandpa & Debbie are doing well also. I know you watch over us all & we all appreciate it a great deal. We all love & miss you. Meme put flowers at your grave site yesterday. They were orange. Very pretty. Your stone & bench should be ready in another few weeks. I can't wait to see what they look like. I hope you like them.
I have several prayers to write to you so I am all caught up so let me start them right now. May 23~ And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, & rebuked the winds & the sea; & there was a great calm. Touch & calm my turbulent emotions, God of the still waters. Whisper words to the listening ears of my soul. In hearing your voice, give me assurance beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are my companion in life, eternity.
May 24~ The Lord hath my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer. Lord, we've tossed our prayers aloft, & hopefully, expectantly, we wait for your answers. As we do, we will: listen, for you speak in the voice of nature; see you as a companion in the face & hand of a friend; feel you as a sweet- smelling rain. We feel your presence.
May 25~ The Lord is my strength & song, & he is become my salvation: he is my God, & I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, & I will exalt him. Dear Father God, you sent your son to us to be our Lord, to watch over us, to bring us comfort, strength, hope, & healing, when our hearts are broken & our lives seem shattered. We will never be alone; not when you are here with us always & forever. Remind us to look to you for strength. Amen.
May 26~ And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Lord, you are the light I follow down this long, dark tunnel. You are the voices that whispers, urging me onward when this wall of sorrow seems insurmountable. You are the hand that reaches out & grabs mine when I feel as if I'm sinking in despair. You alone, Lord, are the waters that fill me when I am dried of all hope & faith. I thank you, Lord, for although I may feel like giving up, you have not given up on me. Amen.
Ok... I am finally all caught up on the daily prayers...lol. I will make sure to write to you every day so this doesn't happen again. The night sky is upon us much more quickly tonight than normal. I think we are in for some rain. Much needed rain. The sky was not clear last night so there were no stars or moon shining. I did talk to you as I was sitting outside though. Did you hear Mom? I am not sure that the sky will be clear tonight either but when I go outside to sit on our balcony I will be whispering to you again. Be listening out for Mom. I love you with all my heart. I miss you beyond any words can express to you or to anyone. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son.
I hope that your night is filled with everything that you need & want. If you do get a chance to rest, I hope you have the sweetest dreams. I hope to have some of my own tonight & I am hoping that you will be in them.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Tuesday evening? Mom has had a very busy day with school work. I wanted you to know that I did start writing to you last night but as I was writing something happened & I went to hit the " shift " key & I ended up deleting it all. I was so angry & upset that I walked away from the computer & didn't turn it back on again. I am so sorry. I wanted to wish you a Happy Memorial Day to you on here as well. I did wish you one as I was chatting with you though. Mom & Mark did nothing the entire weekend. It was a very low key, not go anywhere kind of thing. We stayed in on Saturday & Monday & watched movies all day. Sunday, we did go out for about an hour & did the shopping we needed to do & that was it. It was so nice to have a few down days. I know you have loved the movies we watched... they were Taken 3, Dracula Untold, Dumb & Dumber 2, Wild Card, & I know there was another one but I can't think of it right now. Anyways.... lets see about some updates on the family. Meme called & told me that Bob fell again a couple nights ago. Guess it was a pretty good fall. I feel so bad for him, Ty. He is a good man & does not deserve anything that he has been given..just like you didn't deserve it either. I fear for him & Meme. I wish I could do more but I can't. It hurts Mom to watch this. I know you are with them all the time. Thank you for this. Makes me feel a little better knowing they are in good hands with you. Uncle Joe is still the same. No changes. Grandpa keeps me pretty updated on him. It has been almost 1 month now since his surgery. Great Grammy still does not know & Uncle Joe still doesn't know that his son passed away 2 weeks ago. Breaks my heart on this as well. Mom is all better. Her infection is all gone. I am back to being myself again. Just making sure that I stay hydrated so that I can keep the infection away. Thank you for being there with me & watching over Mom. It means so much to me. I love you & miss you so much.
I found out over the weekend that Megan is pregnant! She is having a boy. I know you are happy for her as well. You two were close when Ramon & Mom were together. Guess she found out last Wednesday that she is due on October 15th. That was the day that Ramon & Mom got married. Funny how things like that happen. She will be a wonderful Mom as she is great with children. I chatted with her over the computer & wished her luck. She said that both her Mom & Dad were excited. I am sure they are as they are awaiting their 1st grand baby.
Everyone else seems to be doing well. Haven't spoken to Aunt Becky in about 1 1/2 weeks now so I guess I will be given her a call to make sure things are well on their end. Brandy is good too. Grandpa & Debbie are doing well also. I know you watch over us all & we all appreciate it a great deal. We all love & miss you. Meme put flowers at your grave site yesterday. They were orange. Very pretty. Your stone & bench should be ready in another few weeks. I can't wait to see what they look like. I hope you like them.
I have several prayers to write to you so I am all caught up so let me start them right now. May 23~ And he saith unto them, Why are ye fearful, O ye of little faith? Then he arose, & rebuked the winds & the sea; & there was a great calm. Touch & calm my turbulent emotions, God of the still waters. Whisper words to the listening ears of my soul. In hearing your voice, give me assurance beyond a shadow of a doubt that you are my companion in life, eternity.
May 24~ The Lord hath my supplication; the Lord will receive my prayer. Lord, we've tossed our prayers aloft, & hopefully, expectantly, we wait for your answers. As we do, we will: listen, for you speak in the voice of nature; see you as a companion in the face & hand of a friend; feel you as a sweet- smelling rain. We feel your presence.
May 25~ The Lord is my strength & song, & he is become my salvation: he is my God, & I will prepare him an habitation; my father's God, & I will exalt him. Dear Father God, you sent your son to us to be our Lord, to watch over us, to bring us comfort, strength, hope, & healing, when our hearts are broken & our lives seem shattered. We will never be alone; not when you are here with us always & forever. Remind us to look to you for strength. Amen.
May 26~ And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not. Lord, you are the light I follow down this long, dark tunnel. You are the voices that whispers, urging me onward when this wall of sorrow seems insurmountable. You are the hand that reaches out & grabs mine when I feel as if I'm sinking in despair. You alone, Lord, are the waters that fill me when I am dried of all hope & faith. I thank you, Lord, for although I may feel like giving up, you have not given up on me. Amen.
Ok... I am finally all caught up on the daily prayers...lol. I will make sure to write to you every day so this doesn't happen again. The night sky is upon us much more quickly tonight than normal. I think we are in for some rain. Much needed rain. The sky was not clear last night so there were no stars or moon shining. I did talk to you as I was sitting outside though. Did you hear Mom? I am not sure that the sky will be clear tonight either but when I go outside to sit on our balcony I will be whispering to you again. Be listening out for Mom. I love you with all my heart. I miss you beyond any words can express to you or to anyone. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son.
I hope that your night is filled with everything that you need & want. If you do get a chance to rest, I hope you have the sweetest dreams. I hope to have some of my own tonight & I am hoping that you will be in them.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, May 22, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening? Mom is doing better than I was last night. I asked you so many times throughout the night to be with Mom. Thank you so much! I always need you near me, watching over Mom. It makes me feel good to know that you can be with me always & watch over me all the time. I love you so much.
Today was a busy day for Mark & Mom. Mark had his 2nd face to face interview with a company this afternoon. He was gone for about 4 hours so while he was gone Mom did some more studying. I got through another lesson. I also submitted a test this morning too. The lessons are getting harder & more challenging but I am ready for it! I think I am doing a good job but we will see. I have a long way to go still..lol. mark will find out on Tuesday if he got the job or not. Keeping our fingers crossed that it happens!
Today is the start of the long weekend.. It is Memorial Day weekend. This is a time to reflect on what our service men & women have done for us all so that we still have our freedom. It is to celebrate the good still but also mourn the loss of all that have fallen. To some people just look at it as a 3 day weekend where the beaches open up until Labor day. It is a time to be with family & friends having BBQ's & drink. There is nothing wrong with that I just hope that they look at the true meaning. Mom & Mark will be staying home & just relaxing. We have no plans on going anywhere at all. We did our grocery shopping already & there is nothing really for us to do now. The weather is suppose to be really nice too. Sunny & in the 80's so I will take that. Mom's kind of weather!
Also today is Aunt Jacqui & Uncle Dick's wedding anniversary. They have been married for 44 years. I will always know the years they have been together because it is the same number of years that I am old. Their wedding was the 1st one that Mom attended. I was 7 days old. I hope that you get the chance to go visit them & say hello! Again.. just don't scare them..lol.
Before I forget.. here is the daily prayer for today. May 22~ But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe. Lord, today I want to praise you for giving me the faith to believe, for faith itself is a gift from you. I lift up to you today all those I know who are having trouble accepting your gift of salvation. Be patient with them, Lord. Reveal yourself to them in a way that will reach them, & draw them into a relationship with you. Our lives are incomplete without you, Lord. Send your grace to those who are struggling.
I believe that the evening sky will show the stars & moon shining bright. I look forward to finding them tonight when we take the pups out for a walk later. I will be sure to whisper to you as I always do. I hope you hear Mom nightly. I hope you smile when I chat with you. I know I do. Sometimes there are tears but most of the time it is smiles because I truly believe that you can hear Mom. I miss you so much. I miss hugging you, giving you kisses, hearing your voice, your laugh, seeing your smile. I can't even put into words even if I tried just how much. I love you beyond the moon & back & all away around the world.
I hope that you have a wonderful night & may it be a peaceful & restful one for you. I hope that you have sweet dreams if you get a chance to close your eyes & sleep. I hope to see you in my own dreams tonight. You my sweet precious son will always be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening? Mom is doing better than I was last night. I asked you so many times throughout the night to be with Mom. Thank you so much! I always need you near me, watching over Mom. It makes me feel good to know that you can be with me always & watch over me all the time. I love you so much.
Today was a busy day for Mark & Mom. Mark had his 2nd face to face interview with a company this afternoon. He was gone for about 4 hours so while he was gone Mom did some more studying. I got through another lesson. I also submitted a test this morning too. The lessons are getting harder & more challenging but I am ready for it! I think I am doing a good job but we will see. I have a long way to go still..lol. mark will find out on Tuesday if he got the job or not. Keeping our fingers crossed that it happens!
Today is the start of the long weekend.. It is Memorial Day weekend. This is a time to reflect on what our service men & women have done for us all so that we still have our freedom. It is to celebrate the good still but also mourn the loss of all that have fallen. To some people just look at it as a 3 day weekend where the beaches open up until Labor day. It is a time to be with family & friends having BBQ's & drink. There is nothing wrong with that I just hope that they look at the true meaning. Mom & Mark will be staying home & just relaxing. We have no plans on going anywhere at all. We did our grocery shopping already & there is nothing really for us to do now. The weather is suppose to be really nice too. Sunny & in the 80's so I will take that. Mom's kind of weather!
Also today is Aunt Jacqui & Uncle Dick's wedding anniversary. They have been married for 44 years. I will always know the years they have been together because it is the same number of years that I am old. Their wedding was the 1st one that Mom attended. I was 7 days old. I hope that you get the chance to go visit them & say hello! Again.. just don't scare them..lol.
Before I forget.. here is the daily prayer for today. May 22~ But the scripture hath concluded all under sin, that the promise by faith of Jesus Christ might be given to them that believe. Lord, today I want to praise you for giving me the faith to believe, for faith itself is a gift from you. I lift up to you today all those I know who are having trouble accepting your gift of salvation. Be patient with them, Lord. Reveal yourself to them in a way that will reach them, & draw them into a relationship with you. Our lives are incomplete without you, Lord. Send your grace to those who are struggling.
I believe that the evening sky will show the stars & moon shining bright. I look forward to finding them tonight when we take the pups out for a walk later. I will be sure to whisper to you as I always do. I hope you hear Mom nightly. I hope you smile when I chat with you. I know I do. Sometimes there are tears but most of the time it is smiles because I truly believe that you can hear Mom. I miss you so much. I miss hugging you, giving you kisses, hearing your voice, your laugh, seeing your smile. I can't even put into words even if I tried just how much. I love you beyond the moon & back & all away around the world.
I hope that you have a wonderful night & may it be a peaceful & restful one for you. I hope that you have sweet dreams if you get a chance to close your eyes & sleep. I hope to see you in my own dreams tonight. You my sweet precious son will always be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi sweet son of mine. How are you doing? I hope everything is well wherever you may be! Mom is having a tough time as I am sure you have noticed & I know that you are with me at this very moment. I am not sure what is going on but I was & still am scared. I am hoping that it goes away on its own & I don't have to go back to the ER to be seen again. I haven't had this happen to me before so I am winging it at this point. Please be with Mom. I need you pumpkin. Thank you!
I wanted to write you a quick letter tonight so that I can just relax & figure things out. I am sure that you are understanding. Thank you for that too. Everything else is the same here with family & friends so I wanted to write the 2 daily prayers that I missed the other days & todays before I ended this for the night.
May 19~ We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed. Lord, today I pray for all those who are in desperate need of help in order to survive; victims of earthquakes & tornadoes, the homeless, & the physically & emotionally destitute people of our world. Make yourself known to them, Lord. May they all see that their true help comes only from you! You who created them will not leave them without help, nor without hope.
May 20~ And the work of righteousness shall be peace; & the effects of righteousness quietness & assurance for ever. Lord, how grateful we are for the rest you bring to even the most harried souls. The young soldier on the battlefield knows that peace, & so does the young mother with many mouths to feed but too little money in her bank account. You are the one who brings us to the place of restoration in our hearts & minds, Lord. Thank you for being our shepherd.
May 21~ Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, & rivers in the desert. Enliven my imagination, God of the new life, so that I can see through today's troubles to coming newness. Surround me with your caring so that I can live as if the new has already begun.
Hope you are enjoying these prayers again as I am writing them to you. I was so happy to have found this new book. It makes me smile to write them to you. I feel so close to you when I write anything. My letters are from my heart on how I am feeling at that exact moment. I hope you smile too!
The evening sky is upon us & I know that the stars will be out this evening as the sky is super clear. The weather was nice today. It was chilly though & will be again tomorrow. I will take it as it is not snow...lol. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for Mom. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I can't express just how much that is, but I know that you can feel it & that you know what I am saying.
I hope that you night is restful & peaceful as you need & want it to be for yourself & all the other Angels that are with you. Please hug each of them for me... even hug our pups as I miss them just as much, but I know you are taking good care of them for Mom. May you have the sweetest of dreams if you fall asleep tonight & may you be in Mom's dreams as well. Please watch over us all, Ty. I know you do but I always want to ask.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Never forget this my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Today is Uncle Dick's Birthday. Hope you had the chance to go visit with him & say hello. Hope that if you did.. you didn't scare him...lol! Love you, pumpkin. Write to you again tomorrow night. xoxoxo.
Hi sweet son of mine. How are you doing? I hope everything is well wherever you may be! Mom is having a tough time as I am sure you have noticed & I know that you are with me at this very moment. I am not sure what is going on but I was & still am scared. I am hoping that it goes away on its own & I don't have to go back to the ER to be seen again. I haven't had this happen to me before so I am winging it at this point. Please be with Mom. I need you pumpkin. Thank you!
I wanted to write you a quick letter tonight so that I can just relax & figure things out. I am sure that you are understanding. Thank you for that too. Everything else is the same here with family & friends so I wanted to write the 2 daily prayers that I missed the other days & todays before I ended this for the night.
May 19~ We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed, but not in despair; Persecuted, but not forsaken; cast down, but not destroyed. Lord, today I pray for all those who are in desperate need of help in order to survive; victims of earthquakes & tornadoes, the homeless, & the physically & emotionally destitute people of our world. Make yourself known to them, Lord. May they all see that their true help comes only from you! You who created them will not leave them without help, nor without hope.
May 20~ And the work of righteousness shall be peace; & the effects of righteousness quietness & assurance for ever. Lord, how grateful we are for the rest you bring to even the most harried souls. The young soldier on the battlefield knows that peace, & so does the young mother with many mouths to feed but too little money in her bank account. You are the one who brings us to the place of restoration in our hearts & minds, Lord. Thank you for being our shepherd.
May 21~ Behold, I will do a new thing; now it shall spring forth; shall ye not know it? I will even make a way in the wilderness, & rivers in the desert. Enliven my imagination, God of the new life, so that I can see through today's troubles to coming newness. Surround me with your caring so that I can live as if the new has already begun.
Hope you are enjoying these prayers again as I am writing them to you. I was so happy to have found this new book. It makes me smile to write them to you. I feel so close to you when I write anything. My letters are from my heart on how I am feeling at that exact moment. I hope you smile too!
The evening sky is upon us & I know that the stars will be out this evening as the sky is super clear. The weather was nice today. It was chilly though & will be again tomorrow. I will take it as it is not snow...lol. I will whisper to you as I always do so be listening out for Mom. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I can't express just how much that is, but I know that you can feel it & that you know what I am saying.
I hope that you night is restful & peaceful as you need & want it to be for yourself & all the other Angels that are with you. Please hug each of them for me... even hug our pups as I miss them just as much, but I know you are taking good care of them for Mom. May you have the sweetest of dreams if you fall asleep tonight & may you be in Mom's dreams as well. Please watch over us all, Ty. I know you do but I always want to ask.
You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. Never forget this my sweet precious son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Today is Uncle Dick's Birthday. Hope you had the chance to go visit with him & say hello. Hope that if you did.. you didn't scare him...lol! Love you, pumpkin. Write to you again tomorrow night. xoxoxo.
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today on this Wednesday evening? I hope that everything is perfect where you are. Mom wanted to write to you now because I have had quite the busy day today with doing all kinds of studying & taking another test for my schooling. I have also done some house work & things & I am extremely tired. I didn't want to go without writing something to you. I feel closer to you when I do but you already know this.
Mark had his face to face interview today & he said it went very well. Fingers & toes are crossed that he receives a call with an offer tomorrow. If not he still has another meeting on Friday afternoon with another company. I know that 1 of these has to come through. He is doing all he can at this point. I try not to show how worried or concerned I really am to Mark because I know he is doing his best but after 1 month with no work our financial funds are depleting quite quickly & Mom is not sure of what we are going to do. I am still leaving it in God's hands. He will guide us to where we both need to be & he will provide for us. I truly believe this with all my heart. I know that when it comes to Mom... you, Tyler are with me every step of the way & guiding me through my schooling. Thank you so much for that. I need you with me & I need your help. I miss you so much & I love you beyond any words can ever express.
Meme called today. Bob is not doing well & after seeing him over the weekend I am scared for both Bob & Meme. I have my opinions but I will keep them off here & I know you already know what I mean. I have shared them with Meme though & she actually agrees. Please be with them, Ty. They both need you so bad. I am so afraid for Meme. She says she is fine but I know better & so don't you. Uncle Joe is still sedated for the 3rd week in ICU. He is really fighting for his life & has been now. No changes with him. Grandpa keeps me posted. I feel for him, Grammy & Aunt Shirley. They are really close to him. Brandy's husband left today to drive out to Vegas to work for 3 months again. I hope Joe gets there safely & he gets home safely to Brandy. I know you will be watching over her too. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Today is Mom's friends son's birthday. I am sure you have been around Lucas. He would have been 16. His Mom is having such a hard day. I hope that Lucas is wrapping his arms around his Momma & telling her he is ok. His Angelversary is coming up July 1st. It will be 1 year of his passing. I can't believe that in 1 month from today it will be your 2nd year. It does not get easier that is for sure. It gets harder some days & other days it is tolerable.
The evening sky is upon us now. I did see the stars last night & I whispered to you. I will do the same again tonight when I take the pups out. Hope you will be listening out for Mom. I hope you have the sweetest dreams tonight when you settle down from whatever you may be doing. I hope to see you in my own dreams.
I will write the daily prayer from today on tomorrows letter as I don't have the book in front of me & I can't go get it right now. I love you so much & you will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing today on this Wednesday evening? I hope that everything is perfect where you are. Mom wanted to write to you now because I have had quite the busy day today with doing all kinds of studying & taking another test for my schooling. I have also done some house work & things & I am extremely tired. I didn't want to go without writing something to you. I feel closer to you when I do but you already know this.
Mark had his face to face interview today & he said it went very well. Fingers & toes are crossed that he receives a call with an offer tomorrow. If not he still has another meeting on Friday afternoon with another company. I know that 1 of these has to come through. He is doing all he can at this point. I try not to show how worried or concerned I really am to Mark because I know he is doing his best but after 1 month with no work our financial funds are depleting quite quickly & Mom is not sure of what we are going to do. I am still leaving it in God's hands. He will guide us to where we both need to be & he will provide for us. I truly believe this with all my heart. I know that when it comes to Mom... you, Tyler are with me every step of the way & guiding me through my schooling. Thank you so much for that. I need you with me & I need your help. I miss you so much & I love you beyond any words can ever express.
Meme called today. Bob is not doing well & after seeing him over the weekend I am scared for both Bob & Meme. I have my opinions but I will keep them off here & I know you already know what I mean. I have shared them with Meme though & she actually agrees. Please be with them, Ty. They both need you so bad. I am so afraid for Meme. She says she is fine but I know better & so don't you. Uncle Joe is still sedated for the 3rd week in ICU. He is really fighting for his life & has been now. No changes with him. Grandpa keeps me posted. I feel for him, Grammy & Aunt Shirley. They are really close to him. Brandy's husband left today to drive out to Vegas to work for 3 months again. I hope Joe gets there safely & he gets home safely to Brandy. I know you will be watching over her too. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Today is Mom's friends son's birthday. I am sure you have been around Lucas. He would have been 16. His Mom is having such a hard day. I hope that Lucas is wrapping his arms around his Momma & telling her he is ok. His Angelversary is coming up July 1st. It will be 1 year of his passing. I can't believe that in 1 month from today it will be your 2nd year. It does not get easier that is for sure. It gets harder some days & other days it is tolerable.
The evening sky is upon us now. I did see the stars last night & I whispered to you. I will do the same again tonight when I take the pups out. Hope you will be listening out for Mom. I hope you have the sweetest dreams tonight when you settle down from whatever you may be doing. I hope to see you in my own dreams.
I will write the daily prayer from today on tomorrows letter as I don't have the book in front of me & I can't go get it right now. I love you so much & you will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday night? I hope that you are somewhere warm & sunny instead of being where I am where it has rained all day & the wind is whipping & the temps have been cold. Mom is doing better today. I was able to stay up all day without a nap. I actually made Mark a great breakfast, made homemade banana bread, & then for dinner Mom made homemade mac n cheese. I also did some housework & I did my 1st lesson in my new next book for college. I did the whole lesson & submitted the quiz & I aced it. I got a 100%!!! I was so afraid because it was quite tough. I guess sometimes I underestimate myself. I did the work & it paid off. I hope you are smiling down on me & you are proud of your Momma.
Mark has a face to face interview tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that he likes it & they give him an offer. I know that he is getting worried just as much as I am about not having a job but I stand behind him because that is what a wife does for a husband. I know that he is trying & I know he will land the right job. Again, everything happens for a reason. Mark has another one on Friday afternoon. I hope that one goes well too. I know you are working your magic from where you are for us & we both appreciate it. I feel that he will have a job by the end of the week & we will be back in the clear so we will no longer have to stress out about anything.
The pups are doing good. Healthy but driving Mom insane at times. It is so hard to juggle them, college classes & all the other things I have to do,but I am still learning. I will get into a pace that works for us all. I would like to also start doing my work outs when I feel better again. I could use the extra energy that I use to have plus I know Mom has gained some weight & I am not happy about that. I would like to be on the thinner side again. I will do this... I have the will power. Mark & I also agreed that we will be starting to eat healthier. The summer days are ahead with the warm sunshine & the cold salads & BBQ food. I eat way healthier in the summer than winter. I love all the fruits & veggies. I will keep you updated on my progress.
Oh yeah, I found a new daily prayer book. I saw it when I was waiting for my prescription to be filled the other day. I was so happy. I thought that I would start with doing the 1st one tonight. I hope you will enjoy it again as much as I will. Here goes it for Tuesday, May 19th~ The Lord recompense thy work, & a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust. Today I am tired, Lord. There seem to be too many things on my to-do-list & too few hours in the day. And still, I know what a blessing it is to have work to do & to live a purpose-filled life. Thank you for tasks large & small that give meaning to our days Lord. May we always do each one as if we were doing it only for you. And may we never assume we can do anything without your direction & energy. Amen.
Last night the stars were shining bright. I looked to the sky & I whispered to you. Hope you heard Mom's voice. I will do it again this evening in an hour or so when I walk the pups for the last time tonight. I am not sure if I will see them as the sky is still overcast & cloudy but I will hope. I will whisper to you again as I always do. Be listening for Mom's voice. I hope that you have a peaceful night & may it be all that you need it to be. If you rest may you have the sweetest dreams tonight & Mom is hoping to see you in her own dreams as well. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo.Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Tuesday night? I hope that you are somewhere warm & sunny instead of being where I am where it has rained all day & the wind is whipping & the temps have been cold. Mom is doing better today. I was able to stay up all day without a nap. I actually made Mark a great breakfast, made homemade banana bread, & then for dinner Mom made homemade mac n cheese. I also did some housework & I did my 1st lesson in my new next book for college. I did the whole lesson & submitted the quiz & I aced it. I got a 100%!!! I was so afraid because it was quite tough. I guess sometimes I underestimate myself. I did the work & it paid off. I hope you are smiling down on me & you are proud of your Momma.
Mark has a face to face interview tomorrow. My fingers are crossed that he likes it & they give him an offer. I know that he is getting worried just as much as I am about not having a job but I stand behind him because that is what a wife does for a husband. I know that he is trying & I know he will land the right job. Again, everything happens for a reason. Mark has another one on Friday afternoon. I hope that one goes well too. I know you are working your magic from where you are for us & we both appreciate it. I feel that he will have a job by the end of the week & we will be back in the clear so we will no longer have to stress out about anything.
The pups are doing good. Healthy but driving Mom insane at times. It is so hard to juggle them, college classes & all the other things I have to do,but I am still learning. I will get into a pace that works for us all. I would like to also start doing my work outs when I feel better again. I could use the extra energy that I use to have plus I know Mom has gained some weight & I am not happy about that. I would like to be on the thinner side again. I will do this... I have the will power. Mark & I also agreed that we will be starting to eat healthier. The summer days are ahead with the warm sunshine & the cold salads & BBQ food. I eat way healthier in the summer than winter. I love all the fruits & veggies. I will keep you updated on my progress.
Oh yeah, I found a new daily prayer book. I saw it when I was waiting for my prescription to be filled the other day. I was so happy. I thought that I would start with doing the 1st one tonight. I hope you will enjoy it again as much as I will. Here goes it for Tuesday, May 19th~ The Lord recompense thy work, & a full reward be given thee of the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings thou art come to trust. Today I am tired, Lord. There seem to be too many things on my to-do-list & too few hours in the day. And still, I know what a blessing it is to have work to do & to live a purpose-filled life. Thank you for tasks large & small that give meaning to our days Lord. May we always do each one as if we were doing it only for you. And may we never assume we can do anything without your direction & energy. Amen.
Last night the stars were shining bright. I looked to the sky & I whispered to you. Hope you heard Mom's voice. I will do it again this evening in an hour or so when I walk the pups for the last time tonight. I am not sure if I will see them as the sky is still overcast & cloudy but I will hope. I will whisper to you again as I always do. Be listening for Mom's voice. I hope that you have a peaceful night & may it be all that you need it to be. If you rest may you have the sweetest dreams tonight & Mom is hoping to see you in her own dreams as well. I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo.Muah!
Monday, May 18, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday evening? I hope you are well. Mom is so sorry that I was not able to write to you over the weekend, but as you already know it was quite the harsh couple of days. Mark & Mom headed to NH on Saturday & the ride there was quite rough for Mom. I wasn't saying anything because I thought it would go away but as we got closer but boy was I wrong. It got much worse for me. I went & saw Grandpa really quick & after that I told Mark to take Mom to the ER @ Valley Regional. I was there all afternoon. I was diagnosed with a kidney infection. Mom is on antibiotics for the next 7 days. I am on dose 5 right now out of 14. The meds are making me nauseous & not wanting to drink or eat but I need to so that I can make the meds work. I really didn't do anything at all today. I slept for most of it but I think that I needed it. I was so tired. Every time I started to get to sleep last night I had to get up to use the bathroom. Anyways... to say the least Mark & Mom were not able to go see all the family & friends we wanted to & we didn't do all that we wanted either. I needed to just relax & bed rest so that is what I did. I am following the docs orders so that I can get better & back to feeling like myself again. I know that you understand & you have been with me through out this whole ordeal. Thank you pumpkin.
So when we were in NH we saw Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Marion & Charlie. Meme was doing well with all she has been dealing with. It was so good to see her. I miss her a lot. Bob was having a couple rough days but I guess to him those are normal days. I must be honest though & say that it was hard to look at him & watch him. Several times I had to look away so that I wouldn't cry. It is so hard to see him the way he is. From just a month ago he is showing more signs of declining health. I just kept saying to myself that Bob does not deserve any of this. He is such a sweetheart that would do anything for anyone. Just like you, Ty... you were such a sweet heart that did not deserve any of what you went through either. Grandpa was doing good. Mark fixed his computer for him. He was so happy. He hasn't been able to use it for over 3 weeks now. It was good to see him too. I miss my Dad. Charlie & Marion are well. They came to the hotel where we were staying to help Mom out. They made me forget about the pain & they had me laughing quite a bit. Grandpa was telling us that Uncle Joe is holding his own but has a very long way to go for recovery. Guess he needed CPR the other night & he is in a insulated warmer. I remember you being in one for a short time to get your body temperature up. I am still praying that he will get better. I know you are watching over him too for our whole family. Great Grammy is doing good. I really wanted to go see her this weekend but I didn't get to because of everything with Mom. Aunt Shirley put some videos of her singing some of her favorite songs. It was so sweet to see. It made me smile.
Well, the evening sky is upon us now. The night weather is very cool tonight. I am not sure if the sky is clear tonight or not. Last night the sky was beautiful. I smiled when I saw the bright stars shining bright. I whispered to you as I always do. I also wished Snicks a Happy Birthday. I hope you gave him kisses from Mom. Thanks Ty! Well I know that we will walk the pups again tonight & I will look to the sky tonight & see if I see the moon & stars. Either way I will whisper to you so be listening out for Mom's voice. I hope you have a peaceful night & may it be all that you want it to be for you. I hope if you rest you will have sweet dreams & I hope to see you in my dreams tonight. I miss you so much Tyler & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Never forget this. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Monday evening? I hope you are well. Mom is so sorry that I was not able to write to you over the weekend, but as you already know it was quite the harsh couple of days. Mark & Mom headed to NH on Saturday & the ride there was quite rough for Mom. I wasn't saying anything because I thought it would go away but as we got closer but boy was I wrong. It got much worse for me. I went & saw Grandpa really quick & after that I told Mark to take Mom to the ER @ Valley Regional. I was there all afternoon. I was diagnosed with a kidney infection. Mom is on antibiotics for the next 7 days. I am on dose 5 right now out of 14. The meds are making me nauseous & not wanting to drink or eat but I need to so that I can make the meds work. I really didn't do anything at all today. I slept for most of it but I think that I needed it. I was so tired. Every time I started to get to sleep last night I had to get up to use the bathroom. Anyways... to say the least Mark & Mom were not able to go see all the family & friends we wanted to & we didn't do all that we wanted either. I needed to just relax & bed rest so that is what I did. I am following the docs orders so that I can get better & back to feeling like myself again. I know that you understand & you have been with me through out this whole ordeal. Thank you pumpkin.
So when we were in NH we saw Meme, Bob, Grandpa, Marion & Charlie. Meme was doing well with all she has been dealing with. It was so good to see her. I miss her a lot. Bob was having a couple rough days but I guess to him those are normal days. I must be honest though & say that it was hard to look at him & watch him. Several times I had to look away so that I wouldn't cry. It is so hard to see him the way he is. From just a month ago he is showing more signs of declining health. I just kept saying to myself that Bob does not deserve any of this. He is such a sweetheart that would do anything for anyone. Just like you, Ty... you were such a sweet heart that did not deserve any of what you went through either. Grandpa was doing good. Mark fixed his computer for him. He was so happy. He hasn't been able to use it for over 3 weeks now. It was good to see him too. I miss my Dad. Charlie & Marion are well. They came to the hotel where we were staying to help Mom out. They made me forget about the pain & they had me laughing quite a bit. Grandpa was telling us that Uncle Joe is holding his own but has a very long way to go for recovery. Guess he needed CPR the other night & he is in a insulated warmer. I remember you being in one for a short time to get your body temperature up. I am still praying that he will get better. I know you are watching over him too for our whole family. Great Grammy is doing good. I really wanted to go see her this weekend but I didn't get to because of everything with Mom. Aunt Shirley put some videos of her singing some of her favorite songs. It was so sweet to see. It made me smile.
Well, the evening sky is upon us now. The night weather is very cool tonight. I am not sure if the sky is clear tonight or not. Last night the sky was beautiful. I smiled when I saw the bright stars shining bright. I whispered to you as I always do. I also wished Snicks a Happy Birthday. I hope you gave him kisses from Mom. Thanks Ty! Well I know that we will walk the pups again tonight & I will look to the sky tonight & see if I see the moon & stars. Either way I will whisper to you so be listening out for Mom's voice. I hope you have a peaceful night & may it be all that you want it to be for you. I hope if you rest you will have sweet dreams & I hope to see you in my dreams tonight. I miss you so much Tyler & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Never forget this. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, May 15, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing well as can be. Today is my birthday. I have officially turned 44 years old. I was looking at my baby book when we got our things from Texas & I noticed that I was born at 1:02 pm on May 15th. Like you, Mom was an afternoon baby as well. Another thing we had in common! We were suppose to go up to NH today & for the weekend like I was telling you in yesterday's letter but we had to change our plans. We are heading up there tomorrow instead. Mom wanted a " down " day with not doing anything if I didn't want to & everything if I wanted to do something. So far Mark & Mom have been chilling out at home & just doing odd jobs. Later we will take the pups for a long walk & have dinner at The Cheesecake Factory so Mom does not have to cook tonight. The evening looks pretty quiet & that is ok as well. Kind of the way Mom wanted it today. Before I started writing to you I was reading your message that you left me 2 years ago. It said : Happy Birthday Mom. I Love You & Miss You Lots xoxoxo. I can't lie.. when I read it today I started to tear up. It made me so sad. After I read it, I whispered to you..did you hear me? I hope so!
Did you know that today is also National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day? I never knew that. It made me smile & tear up again when Mark told me this. Why, you might be asking yourself... because for one...those were your favorite cookies & second.. I remembered what was said to you at your Angel reading & that was that you were going to meet your future wife over a plate of chocolate chip cookies. When I think of things like this it gets me sad because it is a constant reminder of all the things you were robbed of personally & for myself as well as being your Mom. I know you lost out on so much & that still hurts me a great deal. I know I can't change anything or do anything about it now so I just try not to think about those kinds of things. Sad, I know but it helps me get through the days with out you here with me.
On Sunday, May 17th it would have been Snickers' 8th Birthday too. I could always remember that date as it was only 2 days after Mom's. I miss Snicks so much & I think of him all the time. I have been calling Ozzy Snickers lately. A lot actually. I know that Snickers & Max are with you & that you are taking really good care of them. Make sure that when Sunday rolls around you give Snicks big hugs & kisses from Mom. Tell him I love & miss him too. Hope he gets to have all kinds of toys, cookies, & treats where y'all are. Thanks Tyler.
The weather today has been really nice. In the high 70's & for the most part sunny. Couldn't ask for a better day. I know we are in for some rain over the weekend though. Last night the sky was so beautiful. The stars were shining so bright. I didn't see the moon though but that is ok. I whispered to you as I always do. I hope you heard Mom. I am not sure of what the evening sky will look like when it gets here in a few hours. I hope to see the moon & stars shining brightly but if I don't I know that you will be shining the brightest up there for Mom to see tonight! I will whisper to you again so be listening out for my voice.
I hope that your night tonight will be all that you need & want it to be for yourself & others. I hope that if you take the time to slow down a bit & you can get some rest Mom wishes you nothing but the sweetest dreams. I hope that I get the chance to see you in my own dreams tonight. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you... to the moon & back.
Remember that you will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son. This will never change.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom is doing well as can be. Today is my birthday. I have officially turned 44 years old. I was looking at my baby book when we got our things from Texas & I noticed that I was born at 1:02 pm on May 15th. Like you, Mom was an afternoon baby as well. Another thing we had in common! We were suppose to go up to NH today & for the weekend like I was telling you in yesterday's letter but we had to change our plans. We are heading up there tomorrow instead. Mom wanted a " down " day with not doing anything if I didn't want to & everything if I wanted to do something. So far Mark & Mom have been chilling out at home & just doing odd jobs. Later we will take the pups for a long walk & have dinner at The Cheesecake Factory so Mom does not have to cook tonight. The evening looks pretty quiet & that is ok as well. Kind of the way Mom wanted it today. Before I started writing to you I was reading your message that you left me 2 years ago. It said : Happy Birthday Mom. I Love You & Miss You Lots xoxoxo. I can't lie.. when I read it today I started to tear up. It made me so sad. After I read it, I whispered to you..did you hear me? I hope so!
Did you know that today is also National Chocolate Chip Cookie Day? I never knew that. It made me smile & tear up again when Mark told me this. Why, you might be asking yourself... because for one...those were your favorite cookies & second.. I remembered what was said to you at your Angel reading & that was that you were going to meet your future wife over a plate of chocolate chip cookies. When I think of things like this it gets me sad because it is a constant reminder of all the things you were robbed of personally & for myself as well as being your Mom. I know you lost out on so much & that still hurts me a great deal. I know I can't change anything or do anything about it now so I just try not to think about those kinds of things. Sad, I know but it helps me get through the days with out you here with me.
On Sunday, May 17th it would have been Snickers' 8th Birthday too. I could always remember that date as it was only 2 days after Mom's. I miss Snicks so much & I think of him all the time. I have been calling Ozzy Snickers lately. A lot actually. I know that Snickers & Max are with you & that you are taking really good care of them. Make sure that when Sunday rolls around you give Snicks big hugs & kisses from Mom. Tell him I love & miss him too. Hope he gets to have all kinds of toys, cookies, & treats where y'all are. Thanks Tyler.
The weather today has been really nice. In the high 70's & for the most part sunny. Couldn't ask for a better day. I know we are in for some rain over the weekend though. Last night the sky was so beautiful. The stars were shining so bright. I didn't see the moon though but that is ok. I whispered to you as I always do. I hope you heard Mom. I am not sure of what the evening sky will look like when it gets here in a few hours. I hope to see the moon & stars shining brightly but if I don't I know that you will be shining the brightest up there for Mom to see tonight! I will whisper to you again so be listening out for my voice.
I hope that your night tonight will be all that you need & want it to be for yourself & others. I hope that if you take the time to slow down a bit & you can get some rest Mom wishes you nothing but the sweetest dreams. I hope that I get the chance to see you in my own dreams tonight. I miss you so much, Tyler. I love you... to the moon & back.
Remember that you will forever be in my heart, mind, & soul my sweet precious son. This will never change.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I hope you are well, smiling, & laughing & learning all kinds of new things that you want& need to! Mom is so sorry that she has not written to you in a couple nights. Let's see Tuesday I did homework & studying all day & then all night I was sick again with stomach pains & I went to bed early. Got up Wednesday morning feeling better. I did more homework & studying in the morning & early afternoon & then we had to take Ozzy to the vets to get his 2 shots. Things went well there. He had his little nails clipped & he hated it so much. He actually cried & that was so sad. I was surprised to see that when we got him 5 weeks ago he weighed 4.5 lbs & now he weighs 8.2 lbs. He has almost double his weight size but the doctor did say he was healthy & doing really well. That was good to hear. Princess is doing well too! We got back home around 5pm & then I made dinner & basically watched tv for the night. My brain was fried & I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I know that sounds awful & I felt guilty for not writing to you but I know you see Mom & you understand what I do & how I feel. I am trying to get into the groove of juggling how to study all day, do homework, & still have time to do everything else needed. I am not doing so well but I will get there. I will find my place. Mark is still home & looking for work. He has a few leads now so our fingers are crossed. We were suppose to go to NH tomorrow through Sunday but at the last minute Mark received a call & has another face to face interview Friday so we will go up Saturday morning instead.
Tomorrow is Mom's Birthday. I will turn 44 years old. I still have the message that you left me on facebook 2 years ago wishing Mom a Happy Birthday & that you loved me. I also still have the voice mail you left me on my cell phone saying the same thing. I will never delete them. I read the message over & over again & I used to listen to the message but I haven't in a very long time. I don't need to as I can still hear in it my mind. I still hear your voice, I still see your smile. Gosh, I miss them so much Tyler. I miss you terribly. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I always will pumpkin.
Do you hear Mom last night chatting to you? It was a pretty long conversation as it was what I would have said in my letter to you. I often wonder if you can really hear me when I speak or if it is another head game that I play to make myself feel better? I choose to say you can but I would love to really have evidence that you do. I hope that tomorrow you will let Mom know that you are around wishing me a Happy Birthday. I would really love that from you. It would make my day! I will be looking for signs.
Mom is doing well in her classes. I am finished the 1st textbook with the 14 chapters. I did it in 8 days! I have taken 6 quizzes & 4 tests. I have all A's except on one test & that was an 81. My GPA is 94%. I don't think that is too shabby at all. I am proud of what I am doing & I know you are proud of me too.
Bob had a doctor's appointment today. They are changing medicines on him again & decreasing him on some. I guess his dizziness & falling is due to having a lot of fluid in his ears & he has vertigo. Poor Bob. I hope now things will start to get better for him. I guess that Meme was saying that 1 med was making his hair fall out. He has gotten quite thin. I wish that there was something that we all could do but we can't. I know you are though & we all thank you for this. Mom thanks you & I am so proud of you still with all the things you can do even though I can not see them with my own naked eyes. Uncle Joe is still in the ICU in a medicated coma. He has had another surgery so this makes 3 now. His kidneys & lungs are failing now & his heart has been shocked a number of times nightly. Things look bleak for him but every one still has hope. We all found out the other night that on Tuesday Uncle Joe's only child, his son died from a massive heart attack. No one can tell Uncle Joe because of his condition. The whole thing is awful. I hope things start to calm down now. There has been way too much sadness in our family again.
Your bench & your plaque ( flat stone ) will be ordered next week some time. It will take about a month to get & then a couple weeks for it to be put at your resting place so Mom is figuring that it will be in by the end of June beginning of July. This makes me so happy as it has bothered me a great deal for you not to have anything there. I hope you will smile when you see it. I hope I made you proud!
The evening sky is upon us now. The sun is setting & it is beautiful. The sky is clear so you know what that means.. the stars will be shining & perhaps the moon too. The pups are sleeping right now but we will be walking them shortly so I will be looking to the sky & whispering to you as I always do. I hope you have a wonderful night. May you have the sweetest dreams if you sleep tonight & may Mom see you in my own dreams as well. Please continue to watch over Mom & everyone in our family. Thank you my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Here are a couple quotes that I like:
" Change is sometimes needed to better yourself, love yourself, & truly be happy. Never stop working on the best that you can be. It is a life long endeavor. "
" Laughter is timeless, Imagination has no age, & dreams are forever. "
Hope you like them. Love you pumpkin xoxoxo!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I hope you are well, smiling, & laughing & learning all kinds of new things that you want& need to! Mom is so sorry that she has not written to you in a couple nights. Let's see Tuesday I did homework & studying all day & then all night I was sick again with stomach pains & I went to bed early. Got up Wednesday morning feeling better. I did more homework & studying in the morning & early afternoon & then we had to take Ozzy to the vets to get his 2 shots. Things went well there. He had his little nails clipped & he hated it so much. He actually cried & that was so sad. I was surprised to see that when we got him 5 weeks ago he weighed 4.5 lbs & now he weighs 8.2 lbs. He has almost double his weight size but the doctor did say he was healthy & doing really well. That was good to hear. Princess is doing well too! We got back home around 5pm & then I made dinner & basically watched tv for the night. My brain was fried & I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I know that sounds awful & I felt guilty for not writing to you but I know you see Mom & you understand what I do & how I feel. I am trying to get into the groove of juggling how to study all day, do homework, & still have time to do everything else needed. I am not doing so well but I will get there. I will find my place. Mark is still home & looking for work. He has a few leads now so our fingers are crossed. We were suppose to go to NH tomorrow through Sunday but at the last minute Mark received a call & has another face to face interview Friday so we will go up Saturday morning instead.
Tomorrow is Mom's Birthday. I will turn 44 years old. I still have the message that you left me on facebook 2 years ago wishing Mom a Happy Birthday & that you loved me. I also still have the voice mail you left me on my cell phone saying the same thing. I will never delete them. I read the message over & over again & I used to listen to the message but I haven't in a very long time. I don't need to as I can still hear in it my mind. I still hear your voice, I still see your smile. Gosh, I miss them so much Tyler. I miss you terribly. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I always will pumpkin.
Do you hear Mom last night chatting to you? It was a pretty long conversation as it was what I would have said in my letter to you. I often wonder if you can really hear me when I speak or if it is another head game that I play to make myself feel better? I choose to say you can but I would love to really have evidence that you do. I hope that tomorrow you will let Mom know that you are around wishing me a Happy Birthday. I would really love that from you. It would make my day! I will be looking for signs.
Mom is doing well in her classes. I am finished the 1st textbook with the 14 chapters. I did it in 8 days! I have taken 6 quizzes & 4 tests. I have all A's except on one test & that was an 81. My GPA is 94%. I don't think that is too shabby at all. I am proud of what I am doing & I know you are proud of me too.
Bob had a doctor's appointment today. They are changing medicines on him again & decreasing him on some. I guess his dizziness & falling is due to having a lot of fluid in his ears & he has vertigo. Poor Bob. I hope now things will start to get better for him. I guess that Meme was saying that 1 med was making his hair fall out. He has gotten quite thin. I wish that there was something that we all could do but we can't. I know you are though & we all thank you for this. Mom thanks you & I am so proud of you still with all the things you can do even though I can not see them with my own naked eyes. Uncle Joe is still in the ICU in a medicated coma. He has had another surgery so this makes 3 now. His kidneys & lungs are failing now & his heart has been shocked a number of times nightly. Things look bleak for him but every one still has hope. We all found out the other night that on Tuesday Uncle Joe's only child, his son died from a massive heart attack. No one can tell Uncle Joe because of his condition. The whole thing is awful. I hope things start to calm down now. There has been way too much sadness in our family again.
Your bench & your plaque ( flat stone ) will be ordered next week some time. It will take about a month to get & then a couple weeks for it to be put at your resting place so Mom is figuring that it will be in by the end of June beginning of July. This makes me so happy as it has bothered me a great deal for you not to have anything there. I hope you will smile when you see it. I hope I made you proud!
The evening sky is upon us now. The sun is setting & it is beautiful. The sky is clear so you know what that means.. the stars will be shining & perhaps the moon too. The pups are sleeping right now but we will be walking them shortly so I will be looking to the sky & whispering to you as I always do. I hope you have a wonderful night. May you have the sweetest dreams if you sleep tonight & may Mom see you in my own dreams as well. Please continue to watch over Mom & everyone in our family. Thank you my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
PS. Here are a couple quotes that I like:
" Change is sometimes needed to better yourself, love yourself, & truly be happy. Never stop working on the best that you can be. It is a life long endeavor. "
" Laughter is timeless, Imagination has no age, & dreams are forever. "
Hope you like them. Love you pumpkin xoxoxo!
Monday, May 11, 2015
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