Dear Tyler,

Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday afternoon? I hope you are well, smiling, & laughing & learning all kinds of new things that you want& need to! Mom is so sorry that she has not written to you in a couple nights. Let's see Tuesday I did homework & studying all day & then all night I was sick again with stomach pains & I went to bed early. Got up Wednesday morning feeling better. I did more homework & studying in the morning & early afternoon & then we had to take Ozzy to the vets to get his 2 shots. Things went well there. He had his little nails clipped & he hated it so much. He actually cried & that was so sad. I was surprised to see that when we got him 5 weeks ago he weighed 4.5 lbs & now he weighs 8.2 lbs. He has almost double his weight size but the doctor did say he was healthy & doing really well. That was good to hear. Princess is doing well too! We got back home around 5pm & then I made dinner & basically watched tv for the night. My brain was fried & I didn't feel like doing anything at all. I know that sounds awful & I felt guilty for not writing to you but I know you see Mom & you understand what I do & how I feel. I am trying to get into the groove of juggling how to study all day, do homework, & still have time to do everything else needed. I am not doing so well but I will get there. I will find my place. Mark is still home & looking for work. He has a few leads now so our fingers are crossed. We were suppose to go to NH tomorrow through Sunday but at the last minute Mark received a call & has another face to face interview Friday so we will go up Saturday morning instead. 
 Tomorrow is Mom's Birthday. I will turn 44 years old. I still have the message that you left me on facebook  2 years ago wishing Mom a Happy Birthday & that you loved me. I also still have the voice mail you left me on my cell phone saying the same thing. I will never delete them. I read the message over & over again & I used to listen to the message but I haven't in a very long time. I don't need to as I can still hear in it my mind. I still hear your voice, I still see your smile. Gosh, I miss them so much Tyler. I miss you terribly. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I always will pumpkin. 
 Do you hear Mom last night chatting to you? It was a pretty long conversation as it was what I would have said in my letter to you. I often wonder if you can really hear me when I speak or if it is another head game that I play to make myself feel better? I choose to say you can but I would love to really have evidence that you do. I hope that tomorrow you will let Mom know that you are around wishing me a Happy Birthday. I would really love that from you. It would make my day! I will be looking for signs.
 Mom is doing well in her classes. I am finished the 1st textbook with the 14 chapters. I did it in 8 days! I have taken 6 quizzes & 4 tests. I have all A's except on one test & that was an 81. My GPA is 94%. I don't think that is too shabby at all. I am proud of what I am doing & I know you are proud of me too. 
 Bob had a doctor's appointment today. They are changing medicines on him again & decreasing him on some. I guess his dizziness & falling is due to having a lot of fluid in his ears & he has vertigo. Poor Bob. I hope now things will start to get better for him. I guess that Meme was saying that 1 med was making his hair fall out. He has gotten quite thin. I wish that there was something that we all could do but we can't. I know you are though & we all thank you for this. Mom thanks you & I am so proud of you still with all the things you can do even though I can not see them with my own naked eyes. Uncle Joe is still in the ICU in a medicated coma. He has had another surgery so this makes 3 now. His kidneys & lungs are failing now & his heart has been shocked a number of times nightly. Things look bleak for him but every one still has hope. We all found out the other night that on Tuesday Uncle Joe's only child, his son died from a massive heart attack. No one can tell Uncle Joe because of his condition. The whole thing is awful. I hope things start to calm down now. There has been way too much sadness in our family again. 
 Your bench & your plaque ( flat stone ) will be ordered next week some time. It will take about a month to get & then a couple weeks for it to be put at your resting place so Mom is figuring that it will be in by the end of June beginning of July. This makes me so happy as it has bothered me a great deal for you not to have anything there. I hope you will smile when you see it. I hope I made you proud! 
 The evening sky is upon us now. The sun is setting & it is beautiful. The sky is clear so you know what that means.. the stars will be shining & perhaps the moon too. The pups are sleeping right now but we will be walking them shortly so I will be looking to the sky & whispering to you as I always do. I hope you have a wonderful night. May you have the sweetest dreams if you sleep tonight & may Mom see you in my own dreams as well. Please continue to watch over Mom & everyone in our family. Thank you my sweet precious son. You are forever in my heart, mind, & soul. I love you.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!

PS. Here are a couple quotes that I like:

" Change is sometimes needed to better yourself, love yourself, & truly be happy. Never stop working on the best that you can be. It is a life long endeavor. "

" Laughter is timeless, Imagination has no age, & dreams are forever. " 

Hope you like them. Love you pumpkin xoxoxo!