Monday, February 29, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this last day of February? It is a leap year so that means it has 29 days instead of 28 days. It happens every 4 years. Do you remember that? I know where you are there is no concept of time. I guess in a way that is a good thing. I know it has been almost 3 years since Mom has seen you but in your world it is only seconds. I would rather have it be harder for Mom than the other way around. I would never want you to have to have more pain then what you did on a daily basis. I would rather take this pain as I couldn't take your pain when you were here with me. That killed me every day knowing I was your mom & I was not able to do anything to make you better. I did all that I could do. I just hope in your beautiful eyes that I did enough to make you proud. I miss you my sweet precious son. I miss you every second of every minute of every hour of every day. I love you like crazy. My love for you is unconditional. That is one of the many things you taught Mom. Your love was so innocent & unconditional as well to me & to all your family & friends. As your sweet friend Sam ( Sam I am ) would say... you were her " Tye Dye " every spectrum of every color in the rainbow. I love that. I love that description of you. It just warms my heart to no end. It means the world to me that family & friends talk about you to Mom. Some say to say " Hi " to you, some say they thought about you, some say they " felt " you visiting them. I love hearing it all. Don't ever stop Tyler. Please don't ever stop as that also makes me feel so close to you. I will always need you. Every day I need you near Mom. Thank you.
The weather today was absolutely beautiful. It was blue skies & sunny out. It was 64 degrees. It was the weather that we loved. Not too hot & not too cold. It would be the days that we could do so much. Remember the long walks we would take? We would just go & talk for hours about anything & everything. We would catch up on all that we needed to. Gosh, my heart aches for those times back with you. Mom has such a broken heart. It will never be mended. My heart went with you the day you left. You have it now Tyler. Please take care of it for me. ( I know you will! ) Mom is hoping that the sky is clear enough so that I will be able to see the stars & the moon shining bright. I just sneaked a peek to see & the sky has a few stars in it. One star is really bright. It is big & beautiful. I know that one is you shining for Mom to see. I will look later again & i will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will try to smile for you as well or at least through the tears.
Spoke to Meme & grandpa tonight. All seems to be well with them. At least the best to be expected. They were happy to hear that I will be up in NH at Easter time for a couple days. Haven't been there in 3 months so it is time to go back to visit. I miss them as much as I know that they miss Mom. Aunt Beck takes off in a couple days. I know you will be with them as they travel. Please continue to be with Mom & us all as I know you are each & every day. Tomorrow is March 1st.....It would be Nana's Birthday & also Meme & Bob's wedding anniversary. It is also the day that Mom will be starting her studying for her exam. I couldn't think of a better day to start things off. Wish me luck Tyler....Mom will be needing it....lol.
Well, my daily prayer book doesn't have a prayer for the 29th of February so I did find another one that I will write for today. Here it is:
Let love & faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Amen.
Three things will last forever----Faith, Hope, & Love---& the greatest of these is love. Amen.
Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love. Amen.
Mom is going to close her letter to you for the night. I hope that you have a restful evening doing what you need to do, what you want to do & what you love to do as well. If you get the chance please stop for a bit & get some sleep. Sweet dreams my precious son. Come visit Mom in my dreams tonight as well. Please remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night. I love you.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Sunday, February 28, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? As you have been able to see Mom has had a pretty sh*tty day today but I want you to know I am ok. It was a long day yesterday & night last night as Mark had to work. It was suppose to be from 12 midnight to 3 am but it actually was 11 pm to 6 am this morning. The dogs were not that good for Mom so I did not really get to sleep all that much. Mom is pretty tired tonight as well. Hope I am able to get some much needed rest tonight. Mom was not sure if I was going to write to you tonight because of the letter that I wrote to you last night. It was dark & Mom was upset & angry & that has not changed at all. That is how my day has gone today as well but Mom thought that no matter what I need to write to you even if it is a small letter. It makes me feel good, makes me feel closer to you & that is what I need right now. I need my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. I had a good cry today. I know you saw Mom & that makes you sad but it was needed. I needed to release the emotions, Tyler. I know I don't have to explain myself to you but I want to. Mom has so much going on in her head right now. I have to think of the now & the future. I have to think of myself for a change & I am having a hard time with that seeings how I always put myself last or others have done it for me. I have never been first & I think this is the time to start with that change. I know you would agree. I know you are upset & sad at what you are seeing & witnessing. Mom will make a promise to you that things will get better one way or the other. Give me a few days to get my stuff together & my head in the right place. I will stay strong pumpkin. I am a fighter. I am a Survivor!
Seems like lately Mom has no updates for you that much. Last night was very quiet & today/tonight was even more quiet. Mom didn't talk at all. It is 8 pm already so I know I will not be talking to anyone. Maybe tomorrow I will have something for you. Mom did get a really sweet gesture from a couple of my friends. They are the ones who live in South Carolina. Their names are Gary & Linda. He sent Mom a message telling me he took a picture of something for me. It was a picture of the streets of Paris with the Eiffel Tower in the background. It was really cute. He asked if I wanted it. I was so shocked. It is so sweet of them to part with it & think of Mom. Guess everyone knows my love for Paris, huh....lol. One day I will go there.... that is a definite for sure. Gary told Mom to tell you that he says hello too. He is a good guy. He is Mom's best friend. We have known each other for 30 years. I wish we would have reconnected while you were with me but I know that you know who he is now so that is all that matters.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 28~ For the grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is a gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Lord, I am grateful that you don't have a list of criteria for being eligible for salvation. What insecurity that would create in us! I feel blessed that I don't need to resort to servile fear or self important boasting when it comes to my standing with you. Your salvation is a gift available to all & secured by your merits ( not mine ). It is received only by grace through faith in you. Amen.
This year is leap year so tomorrow is the last day of February. Mom's daily prayer book does not have one for that day as it comes only every 4 years so Mom will find something else for tomorrow to write to you. Mom forgot to tell you that yesterday was Bob's birthday. Today is Auntie Jacqui's birthday. Maybe you could go visit bot of them & give them a big hug. I am sure they would like that very much. As always.... make yourself known but do not scare them...lol.
Well, it has been night now for the last few hours. Mom is going to head to bed as I am so tired. My eyes are closing. Hope that you have a wonderful night doing all the things you want & need. If you can get some rest & have sweet dreams. Come see Mom in my own dreams tonight. Thank you. I will also look to the sky in a couple minutes & whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? As you have been able to see Mom has had a pretty sh*tty day today but I want you to know I am ok. It was a long day yesterday & night last night as Mark had to work. It was suppose to be from 12 midnight to 3 am but it actually was 11 pm to 6 am this morning. The dogs were not that good for Mom so I did not really get to sleep all that much. Mom is pretty tired tonight as well. Hope I am able to get some much needed rest tonight. Mom was not sure if I was going to write to you tonight because of the letter that I wrote to you last night. It was dark & Mom was upset & angry & that has not changed at all. That is how my day has gone today as well but Mom thought that no matter what I need to write to you even if it is a small letter. It makes me feel good, makes me feel closer to you & that is what I need right now. I need my sweet precious son. I miss you so much. I had a good cry today. I know you saw Mom & that makes you sad but it was needed. I needed to release the emotions, Tyler. I know I don't have to explain myself to you but I want to. Mom has so much going on in her head right now. I have to think of the now & the future. I have to think of myself for a change & I am having a hard time with that seeings how I always put myself last or others have done it for me. I have never been first & I think this is the time to start with that change. I know you would agree. I know you are upset & sad at what you are seeing & witnessing. Mom will make a promise to you that things will get better one way or the other. Give me a few days to get my stuff together & my head in the right place. I will stay strong pumpkin. I am a fighter. I am a Survivor!
Seems like lately Mom has no updates for you that much. Last night was very quiet & today/tonight was even more quiet. Mom didn't talk at all. It is 8 pm already so I know I will not be talking to anyone. Maybe tomorrow I will have something for you. Mom did get a really sweet gesture from a couple of my friends. They are the ones who live in South Carolina. Their names are Gary & Linda. He sent Mom a message telling me he took a picture of something for me. It was a picture of the streets of Paris with the Eiffel Tower in the background. It was really cute. He asked if I wanted it. I was so shocked. It is so sweet of them to part with it & think of Mom. Guess everyone knows my love for Paris, huh....lol. One day I will go there.... that is a definite for sure. Gary told Mom to tell you that he says hello too. He is a good guy. He is Mom's best friend. We have known each other for 30 years. I wish we would have reconnected while you were with me but I know that you know who he is now so that is all that matters.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 28~ For the grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is a gift of God: Not of works, lest any man should boast. Lord, I am grateful that you don't have a list of criteria for being eligible for salvation. What insecurity that would create in us! I feel blessed that I don't need to resort to servile fear or self important boasting when it comes to my standing with you. Your salvation is a gift available to all & secured by your merits ( not mine ). It is received only by grace through faith in you. Amen.
This year is leap year so tomorrow is the last day of February. Mom's daily prayer book does not have one for that day as it comes only every 4 years so Mom will find something else for tomorrow to write to you. Mom forgot to tell you that yesterday was Bob's birthday. Today is Auntie Jacqui's birthday. Maybe you could go visit bot of them & give them a big hug. I am sure they would like that very much. As always.... make yourself known but do not scare them...lol.
Well, it has been night now for the last few hours. Mom is going to head to bed as I am so tired. My eyes are closing. Hope that you have a wonderful night doing all the things you want & need. If you can get some rest & have sweet dreams. Come see Mom in my own dreams tonight. Thank you. I will also look to the sky in a couple minutes & whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. I miss you so much. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet son.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, February 27, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is having a rough day today. So many things going on that are making my emotions go all over the place. I am trying to stay strong right now but my head & heart are saying two different things. I don't really know how much more Mom is going to be able to handle. All I want is to be happy.....doesn't sound like a lot to ask for but guess in my world it is. It has always been that way & seems like it will always continue to unless I take some huge steps & make a choice, own it & look forward & never back. I know you hate to see Mom this way, pumpkin.... Mom is trying so hard. I just feel like I am about to break. It is not a good feeling....a feeling you used to know all so well. You know that I have never been a quitter. That is not in my vocabulary at all but damn I want to. I just want to say " screw it " & just take off. I know this is not like Mom.... it is such a dark place where I am right now. I am hoping that it passes & soon. Please be with Mom, Tyler. Mom needs you all the time, every day but I need you so much more right now. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Must be a sad kind of a day all around. Bonnie called Mom a couple hours ago to tell me some awful news. Her oldest granddaughter's apartment complex burned down to the ground earlier this morning. Everyone in that complex lost everything. There are hundreds of people who have nothing & are homeless. It wasn't too far from where Mom lived in Oklahoma. My heart is breaking for them all. Thank God that no one was hurt. They all got out except one firefighter who got burned & they can't find Brittany's dog. I can't even imagine what is going through their heads. Brittany & Kendall are just so young....early 20's & their little boy Xander will be 3 years old next week. I know that Bonnie was telling me that a lot of family & friends are pulling for them & trying to get things that they need. I know that you will watch over them all, Tyler. I know that you will be with Bonnie, Lisa, Herbie, Brit, Kendall & Xander. Mom will do all she can from here where I am. Thanks Ty.
Mom has no updates for you as last night was mellow & Mom did not talk on the phone at all. I know I will touch base with Meme & Grandpa either later tonight or tomorrow. Did you see Mark & Mom playing chess last night? I think you were with me as I was kicking Mark's a**.....lol! I know that you were laughing that laugh that I miss. I can see your face right now laughing & smiling. Throwing your stick in the air. God, how I miss you so. It rips my heart out that you are no longer with me anymore. You were so young. You had so much more life to live. It's not fair. Mom is so grateful for all the time that I did have with you as we both know it could have been so much shorter. I still long to see you, kiss your sweet face, hear your voice, your laugh, see your smile & so much more. I miss taking care of you, watching you grow up...I miss it all. I long for it every day. I wish I could have it back. I can't even say just for 1 more day as I know if I had that 1 day I would want more. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 27~ But now the Lord my God hath given me rest on every side, so that there is neither adversary nor evil occurrent. You, O Lord, are our refuge. When the days are too full & sleep is hard to come by, we simply need to escape to a quiet place & call on you. In your presence we find strength for our work & peace for our troubled minds. We are grateful for the comfort of your embrace, Lord. Amen.
The night sky has been upon us for a few hours now. The sky looks clear again so I am hoping that I will be able to see the stars & moon shining bright. The sky last night was beautiful. The weather today was blue skies, sunny & cool. Mom will look to the sky later to see id I see anything. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear my voice & I will try to smile when I am talking to you tonight. Mom will do her best. Mom hopes that your night is all that you need & want it to be. May you have a peaceful & restful evening doing what you want & what you are being asked of. Get some sleep if you can. Sweet dreams & come see Mom in her dreams tonight as well. Remember Ty, you will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my one & only & true hero in my life & you will be Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet son. I love you more than words can say.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is having a rough day today. So many things going on that are making my emotions go all over the place. I am trying to stay strong right now but my head & heart are saying two different things. I don't really know how much more Mom is going to be able to handle. All I want is to be happy.....doesn't sound like a lot to ask for but guess in my world it is. It has always been that way & seems like it will always continue to unless I take some huge steps & make a choice, own it & look forward & never back. I know you hate to see Mom this way, pumpkin.... Mom is trying so hard. I just feel like I am about to break. It is not a good feeling....a feeling you used to know all so well. You know that I have never been a quitter. That is not in my vocabulary at all but damn I want to. I just want to say " screw it " & just take off. I know this is not like Mom.... it is such a dark place where I am right now. I am hoping that it passes & soon. Please be with Mom, Tyler. Mom needs you all the time, every day but I need you so much more right now. Thank you my sweet precious son.
Must be a sad kind of a day all around. Bonnie called Mom a couple hours ago to tell me some awful news. Her oldest granddaughter's apartment complex burned down to the ground earlier this morning. Everyone in that complex lost everything. There are hundreds of people who have nothing & are homeless. It wasn't too far from where Mom lived in Oklahoma. My heart is breaking for them all. Thank God that no one was hurt. They all got out except one firefighter who got burned & they can't find Brittany's dog. I can't even imagine what is going through their heads. Brittany & Kendall are just so young....early 20's & their little boy Xander will be 3 years old next week. I know that Bonnie was telling me that a lot of family & friends are pulling for them & trying to get things that they need. I know that you will watch over them all, Tyler. I know that you will be with Bonnie, Lisa, Herbie, Brit, Kendall & Xander. Mom will do all she can from here where I am. Thanks Ty.
Mom has no updates for you as last night was mellow & Mom did not talk on the phone at all. I know I will touch base with Meme & Grandpa either later tonight or tomorrow. Did you see Mark & Mom playing chess last night? I think you were with me as I was kicking Mark's a**.....lol! I know that you were laughing that laugh that I miss. I can see your face right now laughing & smiling. Throwing your stick in the air. God, how I miss you so. It rips my heart out that you are no longer with me anymore. You were so young. You had so much more life to live. It's not fair. Mom is so grateful for all the time that I did have with you as we both know it could have been so much shorter. I still long to see you, kiss your sweet face, hear your voice, your laugh, see your smile & so much more. I miss taking care of you, watching you grow up...I miss it all. I long for it every day. I wish I could have it back. I can't even say just for 1 more day as I know if I had that 1 day I would want more. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 27~ But now the Lord my God hath given me rest on every side, so that there is neither adversary nor evil occurrent. You, O Lord, are our refuge. When the days are too full & sleep is hard to come by, we simply need to escape to a quiet place & call on you. In your presence we find strength for our work & peace for our troubled minds. We are grateful for the comfort of your embrace, Lord. Amen.
The night sky has been upon us for a few hours now. The sky looks clear again so I am hoping that I will be able to see the stars & moon shining bright. The sky last night was beautiful. The weather today was blue skies, sunny & cool. Mom will look to the sky later to see id I see anything. I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear my voice & I will try to smile when I am talking to you tonight. Mom will do her best. Mom hopes that your night is all that you need & want it to be. May you have a peaceful & restful evening doing what you want & what you are being asked of. Get some sleep if you can. Sweet dreams & come see Mom in her dreams tonight as well. Remember Ty, you will forever be in my heart, mind & soul. You are my one & only & true hero in my life & you will be Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet son. I love you more than words can say.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, February 26, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening? Mom has had a pretty good day & very productive. I was able to talk to a couple friends on the phone, take the dogs for a walk, & also was able to do some housework & laundry. Now I am doing the thing I love the most & that is writing to you my sweet precious son. I always feel closer to you when I am writing my letter to you. Mom has been doing this blog & writing to you for almost 3 years now. It doesn't seem possible that we are coming up to 3 years of you being gone. It seems to Mom that it was yesterday that I lost you forever. Time does not make it easier at all. It sucks, Tyler. I know that you are in a better place, I know that you are no longer in pain, that you can walk, run, breathe on your own now but Mom wants to be selfish, she wants you back. I want to see you, hear you, take care of you again. If I was given the chance I would not hesitate & I would do it in a heart beat. You were my everything. You were my life. My love for you is, was & always will be unconditional. Please forgive Mom for wanting to be selfish. You know that is not usually me or my style. I will promise to do my best & not try to think this way for you. I want you to be by my side, watch over Mom & be proud of what you see. I love you so much, Ty. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you so much. I miss you like crazy.
Mom was thinking that she would have some updates for you tonight but I am afraid that I do not. I did speak to Aunt Beck today. They were getting ready to go to a wedding out of town this weekend. They take off again to South America next Wednesday, March 2nd. She was saying that they decided to not stay in South America for as long as they were going to because of the Easter Holiday. They now will be gone for 2 weeks & then be home. After they get back we are going to set a time for them to come here for a visit. I can't wait as I have not seen them in so long. I miss our family. I hate being this close but never seeing anyone. Its like the saying says.... so close but yet so far. We plan on going to their house as well soon too. A friend of Mom's just had a biopsy a few days ago & got the results back. It came back malignant & that crushed me. I hurt for her. It is the same cancer that she was diagnosed with 5 years ago. Mom will be with her every step of the way. I won't let her go through this alone. You know Mom. This is one of my passions & that is to give HOPE to all that need it. If you can help out in anyway I would appreciate it. Thank you! Mom has another friend that lost their job the other day. The way it happened was not right & I don't believe that the employer was correct. I spoke to my friend & his wife last night. I will also be there for them as well. We don't live close by but Mom will do all that I can for them. I care a lot. They are special to me too. If you can watch over them as well I know they would appreciate it & so would Mom. I know you can do amazing things where you are & Mom is so proud of knowing this. I know you will do all that you can to help all our family& friends & even strangers that you didn't or don't know. Mom will never take anything for granted. Never have & never will. You can count on that. Hopefully Mom will have more updates for you over the weekend.
I do have a couple daily prayers to write out to you so here they are. February 25~ Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul & health to the bones. The best medicine for a discouraged spirit is a dose of love. Add a touch of support from friends & family, mix with a pinch of awareness of God's presence & spread your entire heart & soul. Wait ten seconds, then smile. Nothing can withstand such a powerful healing balm. Amen.
February 26~ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you & pray for them which desperately use you & persecute you. Heavenly Father, give us the forgiving spirit we so badly need to heal the wounds of the past. Help us live " the better life " by making peace with our enemies & understanding that they, too, need your love. Amen.
Mom is all caught up. I am sorry that I didn't have the energy to write it to you last night. Mom was just so tired. I slept from 10 pm to 7 am & only woke up 2 times but fell right back to sleep. I needed it. I am doing better tonight but know that I will go to bed early because I have things to do tomorrow.
Hope that you have a restful night. Mom hopes that it is all that you need want it to be. The evening sky is set for the night & the sky still looks pretty clear so I am hoping that I will see the stars & moon shining bright. Regardless, Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will smile when I talk. Give Max & Snickers a hug & kiss for Mom. I miss y'all so much pumpkin. Sweet dreams tonight & come see me in my dreams when I fall asleep. Continue to fly high & fly free. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Friday evening? Mom has had a pretty good day & very productive. I was able to talk to a couple friends on the phone, take the dogs for a walk, & also was able to do some housework & laundry. Now I am doing the thing I love the most & that is writing to you my sweet precious son. I always feel closer to you when I am writing my letter to you. Mom has been doing this blog & writing to you for almost 3 years now. It doesn't seem possible that we are coming up to 3 years of you being gone. It seems to Mom that it was yesterday that I lost you forever. Time does not make it easier at all. It sucks, Tyler. I know that you are in a better place, I know that you are no longer in pain, that you can walk, run, breathe on your own now but Mom wants to be selfish, she wants you back. I want to see you, hear you, take care of you again. If I was given the chance I would not hesitate & I would do it in a heart beat. You were my everything. You were my life. My love for you is, was & always will be unconditional. Please forgive Mom for wanting to be selfish. You know that is not usually me or my style. I will promise to do my best & not try to think this way for you. I want you to be by my side, watch over Mom & be proud of what you see. I love you so much, Ty. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you so much. I miss you like crazy.
Mom was thinking that she would have some updates for you tonight but I am afraid that I do not. I did speak to Aunt Beck today. They were getting ready to go to a wedding out of town this weekend. They take off again to South America next Wednesday, March 2nd. She was saying that they decided to not stay in South America for as long as they were going to because of the Easter Holiday. They now will be gone for 2 weeks & then be home. After they get back we are going to set a time for them to come here for a visit. I can't wait as I have not seen them in so long. I miss our family. I hate being this close but never seeing anyone. Its like the saying says.... so close but yet so far. We plan on going to their house as well soon too. A friend of Mom's just had a biopsy a few days ago & got the results back. It came back malignant & that crushed me. I hurt for her. It is the same cancer that she was diagnosed with 5 years ago. Mom will be with her every step of the way. I won't let her go through this alone. You know Mom. This is one of my passions & that is to give HOPE to all that need it. If you can help out in anyway I would appreciate it. Thank you! Mom has another friend that lost their job the other day. The way it happened was not right & I don't believe that the employer was correct. I spoke to my friend & his wife last night. I will also be there for them as well. We don't live close by but Mom will do all that I can for them. I care a lot. They are special to me too. If you can watch over them as well I know they would appreciate it & so would Mom. I know you can do amazing things where you are & Mom is so proud of knowing this. I know you will do all that you can to help all our family& friends & even strangers that you didn't or don't know. Mom will never take anything for granted. Never have & never will. You can count on that. Hopefully Mom will have more updates for you over the weekend.
I do have a couple daily prayers to write out to you so here they are. February 25~ Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul & health to the bones. The best medicine for a discouraged spirit is a dose of love. Add a touch of support from friends & family, mix with a pinch of awareness of God's presence & spread your entire heart & soul. Wait ten seconds, then smile. Nothing can withstand such a powerful healing balm. Amen.
February 26~ But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you & pray for them which desperately use you & persecute you. Heavenly Father, give us the forgiving spirit we so badly need to heal the wounds of the past. Help us live " the better life " by making peace with our enemies & understanding that they, too, need your love. Amen.
Mom is all caught up. I am sorry that I didn't have the energy to write it to you last night. Mom was just so tired. I slept from 10 pm to 7 am & only woke up 2 times but fell right back to sleep. I needed it. I am doing better tonight but know that I will go to bed early because I have things to do tomorrow.
Hope that you have a restful night. Mom hopes that it is all that you need want it to be. The evening sky is set for the night & the sky still looks pretty clear so I am hoping that I will see the stars & moon shining bright. Regardless, Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening out for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will smile when I talk. Give Max & Snickers a hug & kiss for Mom. I miss y'all so much pumpkin. Sweet dreams tonight & come see me in my dreams when I fall asleep. Continue to fly high & fly free. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is so tired tonight it is not funny. Last night was pretty rough for us here as you know. The weather was terrible. The lightning was so bright & intense, the rain was so heavy & a down pour for 7 hours straight, & the thunder was the loudest I have ever heard. It shook the entire apartment. You know that Mom likes thunderstorms but this one scared me. Scared Ozzy too. I was up with the poor little guy all night. I whispered to you quite a few times last night. Did you hear Mom? Thank you for being there with us through the night. Mom needed you like I always do. You protected us all & I am forever grateful to you for that my sweet precious son.
Mom wants to write a long letter to you but honestly Ty, Mom's eyes are so heavy & I am ready to go to bed. I wanted to at least write to you to say that I miss you & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I promise that I will write a long letter tomorrow with the 2 daily prayers.
Mom will look to the sky in a few minutes to see if I see anything shining in the sky. Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear Mom & I will smile when talking to you.
Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. May it be peaceful & restful for you as well. Get some sleep & Mom hopes that you have sweet dreams. Come visit me in my dreams tonight as well. Remember that you are my hero, you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are the wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Thursday evening? Mom is so tired tonight it is not funny. Last night was pretty rough for us here as you know. The weather was terrible. The lightning was so bright & intense, the rain was so heavy & a down pour for 7 hours straight, & the thunder was the loudest I have ever heard. It shook the entire apartment. You know that Mom likes thunderstorms but this one scared me. Scared Ozzy too. I was up with the poor little guy all night. I whispered to you quite a few times last night. Did you hear Mom? Thank you for being there with us through the night. Mom needed you like I always do. You protected us all & I am forever grateful to you for that my sweet precious son.
Mom wants to write a long letter to you but honestly Ty, Mom's eyes are so heavy & I am ready to go to bed. I wanted to at least write to you to say that I miss you & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I promise that I will write a long letter tomorrow with the 2 daily prayers.
Mom will look to the sky in a few minutes to see if I see anything shining in the sky. Mom will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear Mom & I will smile when talking to you.
Hope that your night is all that you need & want it to be. May it be peaceful & restful for you as well. Get some sleep & Mom hopes that you have sweet dreams. Come visit me in my dreams tonight as well. Remember that you are my hero, you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are the wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, February 24, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing the best that she can be. The weather here today is really severe again. The winds are high & gusty. We are in a wind advisory from 10 pm -7 am tomorrow. Heavy rains as well. Every where from Florida to New York & every state in between has been in a tornado warning for most of the day. Florida did get hit pretty hard last night. Mom watched a video on it this morning. Just sad. For some reason this winter has been little snow but more dangerous hurricanes & tornadoes all over the world. As much as I dislike snow... I would rather have that then what we have been getting. Please keep us safe & watch over us during these crucial hours. Thank you so much. Thank you for watching over Mom' friends in various states that have been in dangerous weather conditions as well. Mom spoke to a couple of friends today & they told me to tell you thank you as well. It makes Mom smile when I hear family & friends speak your name. Do you see me smile? I hope so. I know you don't like seeing me sad or crying & you see that quite often so I hope you see it when I laugh & smile.
Well, today was a big day for Mom. As you could see I ordered all my books & study guide for my certification exam. Next week will be the 3 week start to the studying process for me & then I will be going right into the 45 day exam. My life with be consisting of sleeping, studying & doing this exam for the next 9 weeks. I know that it will be so worth it in the end. I am really nervous, excited & all the other emotions that will go with this new journey that I am about to begin. It brings me 1 step closer to getting a job & feeling better about myself. I know I got this as I know you will be with Mom every step of the way. I couldn't ask or want a better sidekick then you, Tyler. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are my everything...you are my world. I love you unconditionally! I know you know this & I know you can feel it in your soul. I am so glad because it is so important to Mom.
No new updates today as I did not talk on the phone much at all. I always assume that no news is good news so I will go with that! Mark got to work from home today again & he has been busy since early this morning. Pups are quiet due to the weather & Mom has been doing all the other things she has needed to do. Busy day all around but productive. That's a good thing I believe. Aunt Shirley did send me a message to tell me that she is not getting any better & she is really in so much pain. She can't hardly walk & she couldn't go see Grammy at all. Makes her sad but she has to get better herself so she can be strong for Grammy. I know that feeling all too well. So many used to say that to Mom when it came to you. I never listened though as you know...but everything worked out in the end, right? Hopefully I will have more updates for you in tomorrows letter. For now I have the daily prayer for you today..... February 24~ Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. Help me take stock of your gifts to me, Lord. I'm good at things that appear to be so insignificant. Chances are you can use any one of these gifts, no matter how simple they appear, to help others. Remind me that it's not what I do but my doing it that ultimately matters. Amen.
The evening sky will be coming sooner tonight than normal due to the weather. The sky is gray & cloudy & has been all day long. I, once again will have no chance seeing the moon & stars shining in the sky tonight but that is ok because I will whisper to you as I always do each night. Mom also knows that when I don't see you shining bright for me to see you are somewhere shining for someone else who needs it more. I truly believe this with all my heart. It makes me proud to know that you are somewhere, everywhere doing so many wonderful things & learning all kinds of new things for your next journey. I remember what you told me through the reading & that was you were where you are to learn for the next journeys & Mom was still here to learn more & do more so I can help for my next journeys..... our journeys together again. Thinking about that makes my heart full. It makes me smile to know that we will be together again & have another journey together. Mom has been wanting another reading with Forrest so bad & every time I get ready to get in touch with him something comes up & I can't. I hope that when all this stuff... studying, exam, car registration, etc.... is done I can have another one. I hope that you come through again for Mom. I have so many questions to ask you. So many things I wonder about all the time. Guess I need to know what you are doing, how you are doing....after all I still need to check in with you.... I am your Mom!
Hope that your evening is all that you need & want it to be. Get some rest & Mom hopes you have sweet dreams. Come see me in my dreams tonight my sweet precious son. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Fly high, Tyler. Tell everyone with you that Mom says hello & she loves & misses them. Thank you!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this Wednesday afternoon? Mom is doing the best that she can be. The weather here today is really severe again. The winds are high & gusty. We are in a wind advisory from 10 pm -7 am tomorrow. Heavy rains as well. Every where from Florida to New York & every state in between has been in a tornado warning for most of the day. Florida did get hit pretty hard last night. Mom watched a video on it this morning. Just sad. For some reason this winter has been little snow but more dangerous hurricanes & tornadoes all over the world. As much as I dislike snow... I would rather have that then what we have been getting. Please keep us safe & watch over us during these crucial hours. Thank you so much. Thank you for watching over Mom' friends in various states that have been in dangerous weather conditions as well. Mom spoke to a couple of friends today & they told me to tell you thank you as well. It makes Mom smile when I hear family & friends speak your name. Do you see me smile? I hope so. I know you don't like seeing me sad or crying & you see that quite often so I hope you see it when I laugh & smile.
Well, today was a big day for Mom. As you could see I ordered all my books & study guide for my certification exam. Next week will be the 3 week start to the studying process for me & then I will be going right into the 45 day exam. My life with be consisting of sleeping, studying & doing this exam for the next 9 weeks. I know that it will be so worth it in the end. I am really nervous, excited & all the other emotions that will go with this new journey that I am about to begin. It brings me 1 step closer to getting a job & feeling better about myself. I know I got this as I know you will be with Mom every step of the way. I couldn't ask or want a better sidekick then you, Tyler. I miss you so much & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. You are my everything...you are my world. I love you unconditionally! I know you know this & I know you can feel it in your soul. I am so glad because it is so important to Mom.
No new updates today as I did not talk on the phone much at all. I always assume that no news is good news so I will go with that! Mark got to work from home today again & he has been busy since early this morning. Pups are quiet due to the weather & Mom has been doing all the other things she has needed to do. Busy day all around but productive. That's a good thing I believe. Aunt Shirley did send me a message to tell me that she is not getting any better & she is really in so much pain. She can't hardly walk & she couldn't go see Grammy at all. Makes her sad but she has to get better herself so she can be strong for Grammy. I know that feeling all too well. So many used to say that to Mom when it came to you. I never listened though as you know...but everything worked out in the end, right? Hopefully I will have more updates for you in tomorrows letter. For now I have the daily prayer for you today..... February 24~ Now there are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. Help me take stock of your gifts to me, Lord. I'm good at things that appear to be so insignificant. Chances are you can use any one of these gifts, no matter how simple they appear, to help others. Remind me that it's not what I do but my doing it that ultimately matters. Amen.
The evening sky will be coming sooner tonight than normal due to the weather. The sky is gray & cloudy & has been all day long. I, once again will have no chance seeing the moon & stars shining in the sky tonight but that is ok because I will whisper to you as I always do each night. Mom also knows that when I don't see you shining bright for me to see you are somewhere shining for someone else who needs it more. I truly believe this with all my heart. It makes me proud to know that you are somewhere, everywhere doing so many wonderful things & learning all kinds of new things for your next journey. I remember what you told me through the reading & that was you were where you are to learn for the next journeys & Mom was still here to learn more & do more so I can help for my next journeys..... our journeys together again. Thinking about that makes my heart full. It makes me smile to know that we will be together again & have another journey together. Mom has been wanting another reading with Forrest so bad & every time I get ready to get in touch with him something comes up & I can't. I hope that when all this stuff... studying, exam, car registration, etc.... is done I can have another one. I hope that you come through again for Mom. I have so many questions to ask you. So many things I wonder about all the time. Guess I need to know what you are doing, how you are doing....after all I still need to check in with you.... I am your Mom!
Hope that your evening is all that you need & want it to be. Get some rest & Mom hopes you have sweet dreams. Come see me in my dreams tonight my sweet precious son. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are forever my hero & my wind beneath my wings. Fly high, Tyler. Tell everyone with you that Mom says hello & she loves & misses them. Thank you!
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Tuesday, February 23, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you on this Tuesday night? Mom is doing ok. Today was a crazy busy day for Mom. I had so much to do. I did laundry, vacuuming, dusting, walked the dogs, put 2 lamps with shelving together, made dinner, paid a few bills & now I am writing to you. Mom also spoke to Meme & Auntie Kristina on the phone as well. Like I said Mom was very busy today. I apparently had made a previous promise that I would chat with another friend & I misunderstood & that never happened. I apologized but guess that was not good enough because I just kept getting reprimanded for not keeping a promise. Mom feels bad but I don't know what to do about it. I guess time will tell if I am forgiven.
Meme was telling me that she got her vehicle back & it is finally working better & that Bob had got some fairly good news over the phone. Mom was so happy to hear. Guess there is a light at the end of the tunnel, not to mention a very sweet Guardian Angel watching over them. Thank you Ty. Mom had a really good talk with Auntie Kristina as well. We talked for an hour or so. That is short for us...lol. Things are ok with her & Mark. We had a wonderful talk about you. It was so nice to just talk about you to not just anyone but to my best female friend. We laughed, we cried....it was nice. I am sure that you were right with us both while that was going on. I don't have any other updates for you as I have not heard from Grandpa in a couple nights. Maybe later tonight I will as it is only 7:30 pm right now. I will call Aunt Beck in the next couple of days because she will be heading out again at the end of the week. Guess Aunt Shirley is doing ok & so is Grammy. Oh yeah... Mark is doing well...working alot lately but that is nothing new, the pups are fine & Mom will be starting her studying for her certification towards the end of the week. Finally..... I can not wait. I am so ready to rock this thing!
The weather today was cloudy & colder. Basically the calm before the storm as the weather later tonight, tomorrow & Thursday look like a mess. Tornado warnings are in effect for Florida all the way through New York & New England will be getting snow, sleet & freezing rain. It sure is going to be awful the next few days. I hope that everyone stays safe & if they have to go out they are all safe & sound. Mom worries about all our family & friends. Last night, Mom did indeed get to see the full moon. It was so bright & beautiful. There was such a huge halo all around it & to the bottom left side there was a huge bright star. I smiled so big & whispered to you, did you hear Mom? I know nothing will be shining tonight as the sky is cloudy & it is already snowing but that's ok as I will be whispering to you just the same as I always do each & every night. Hope you will be hearing to Mom later as well. Smile when you hear my voice. I miss you Tyler. I love you so much. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. This will never change my sweet precious son. Always know that my love for you was & forever will be unconditional.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 23~And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The older I get, the more aware I am of the seasons of life, Lord. I know that when we draw our energy & resources from your living Word, we truly can be compared to the trees that thrive near streams of water. The fruit of a young life lived for you may look a bit different than the fruit visible in the the lives of older folks, but it all brings you glory. Thank you, Lord, for supplying your living water through all the seasons of our lives. Without it, we could bear no worthy fruit at all. Amen.
Mom hopes that your evening will be filled with all good things. May it be peaceful & restful for you. Mom hopes it is all that you want & need it to be as well. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Come see me tonight in my dreams too. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you so much. Love you more than words can say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet Angel.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you on this Tuesday night? Mom is doing ok. Today was a crazy busy day for Mom. I had so much to do. I did laundry, vacuuming, dusting, walked the dogs, put 2 lamps with shelving together, made dinner, paid a few bills & now I am writing to you. Mom also spoke to Meme & Auntie Kristina on the phone as well. Like I said Mom was very busy today. I apparently had made a previous promise that I would chat with another friend & I misunderstood & that never happened. I apologized but guess that was not good enough because I just kept getting reprimanded for not keeping a promise. Mom feels bad but I don't know what to do about it. I guess time will tell if I am forgiven.
Meme was telling me that she got her vehicle back & it is finally working better & that Bob had got some fairly good news over the phone. Mom was so happy to hear. Guess there is a light at the end of the tunnel, not to mention a very sweet Guardian Angel watching over them. Thank you Ty. Mom had a really good talk with Auntie Kristina as well. We talked for an hour or so. That is short for us...lol. Things are ok with her & Mark. We had a wonderful talk about you. It was so nice to just talk about you to not just anyone but to my best female friend. We laughed, we cried....it was nice. I am sure that you were right with us both while that was going on. I don't have any other updates for you as I have not heard from Grandpa in a couple nights. Maybe later tonight I will as it is only 7:30 pm right now. I will call Aunt Beck in the next couple of days because she will be heading out again at the end of the week. Guess Aunt Shirley is doing ok & so is Grammy. Oh yeah... Mark is doing well...working alot lately but that is nothing new, the pups are fine & Mom will be starting her studying for her certification towards the end of the week. Finally..... I can not wait. I am so ready to rock this thing!
The weather today was cloudy & colder. Basically the calm before the storm as the weather later tonight, tomorrow & Thursday look like a mess. Tornado warnings are in effect for Florida all the way through New York & New England will be getting snow, sleet & freezing rain. It sure is going to be awful the next few days. I hope that everyone stays safe & if they have to go out they are all safe & sound. Mom worries about all our family & friends. Last night, Mom did indeed get to see the full moon. It was so bright & beautiful. There was such a huge halo all around it & to the bottom left side there was a huge bright star. I smiled so big & whispered to you, did you hear Mom? I know nothing will be shining tonight as the sky is cloudy & it is already snowing but that's ok as I will be whispering to you just the same as I always do each & every night. Hope you will be hearing to Mom later as well. Smile when you hear my voice. I miss you Tyler. I love you so much. To the moon & back & all the way around the world. This will never change my sweet precious son. Always know that my love for you was & forever will be unconditional.
Here is your daily prayer for today. February 23~And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper. The older I get, the more aware I am of the seasons of life, Lord. I know that when we draw our energy & resources from your living Word, we truly can be compared to the trees that thrive near streams of water. The fruit of a young life lived for you may look a bit different than the fruit visible in the the lives of older folks, but it all brings you glory. Thank you, Lord, for supplying your living water through all the seasons of our lives. Without it, we could bear no worthy fruit at all. Amen.
Mom hopes that your evening will be filled with all good things. May it be peaceful & restful for you. Mom hopes it is all that you want & need it to be as well. Sweet dreams pumpkin. Come see me tonight in my dreams too. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you so much. Love you more than words can say. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my true hero & Mom's wind beneath my wings. Good night my sweet Angel.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Monday, February 22, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! Happy Monday to you. Hope you are somewhere sunny & warm. Mom is doing ok today. The weather is cold but sunny. I have been enjoying the last several days with having the sun out. It was so nice & warm for this time of the year around here. The next couple days will be cold, wet & rainy. We might even be getting some snow but the ground really is not frozen any more so it won't really stay. That won't hurt my feelings at all...lol! Mom took a day & really did nothing. I talked on the phone with a friend for a bit. Tried to cheer him up as there is a lot going on in his life. I wish Mom could do so much more for him but I just don't know what. He is such a sweetheart & love him dearly. I hate seeing him in such pain & being all stressed out. It hurts Mom. Mom prays that things in his life will get better & soon. Anything you can do on your side would be so sweet & appreciated. Thank you my sweet precious son. It means so much.
Aunt Beck called Mom today. We had a really great chat over the phone. It was so nice to hear her voice after not talking for 2 weeks. I missed her bunches. Sounds like her business trip was a very productive one & that is so awesome. I am excited for her & the upcoming business that she is a part of. They are home for 8 days & then back traveling to South America for a few weeks of vacation. I know you will be with them both yet again when they are back on the road. Thanks Ty! Not much else is going on. It was a pretty quiet day for all here. Mark worked from home today & was quite busy & like I said Mom just relaxed & did a few things that needed to get done earlier this afternoon. Made one of your favorite meals...homemade beef stew. Been cooking all day. Smells really good. I remember the times that I would cook your favorites. Made me smile to think back on those times. Things were always rough & tough for you. Not a day that went by that Mom did not see you struggle in more ways than one. Even though words were not spoken I saw everything. Mom hurt for you every day. It crushed me to no end that I was so helpless. I tried & gave it my all. I just hope it was enough for you. I hope that the short years that you were here with Mom you experienced many joys & happiness even though you lived with such heartache & pain. Mom wonders this all the time. I wish I would have asked you so I could have that answer...now it is just another thing that I will always wonder.
Do you remember Mom's friend Holly ( you went to college with her ) the one I graduated with. I would talk to you about her losing her daughter Becca...Holly also passed unexpectedly last March.... her husband, Harold sent Mom the sweetest message. I am going to copy it to the letter so the writing will be different but it was just too heart felt not to share with you or the world. I will include it at the end of the letter to you. I think you will be just as touched as Mom was. Mom still has not heard from that other lady yet since the last time we spoke. I am hoping she is just busy. Mom sees the dark side she is in & I hope that she is ok. I am worried but I keep tabs on her without anyone knowing. I plan on reaching out to her tomorrow.
Think that is all I have for you right now but here is the daily prayer for you today. February 22~ All scripture is given by inspiration of God & is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. Father, your Word makes it clear to me that the life of faith is not passive. While we wait for you to answer prayer, grant wisdom & open doors, we also keep our minds sharp & our hearts strengthened by reading & studying your Word, by meeting with you in prayer & by finding encouragement among other believers. These are disciplines our souls need to stay focused on ever-present hope. Amen.
The evening sky is upon us yet again for the night. I guess the full moon is tonight & not last night. Hope Mom gets a chance to see it. Hope Mom gets to see the stars shining bright as well. I will whisper to you as I always do so I hope that you hear me nightly & you will be listening out for my voice. Smile when you do. Smile that smile I miss so much. Mom hopes that your evening is filled with what you need it to be & want it to be. Rest if you can & close those beautiful big brown eyes of yours with those long thick eyelashes that we all adorable & were jealous of. Sweet dreams my sweet sweet pumpkin. Mom hopes you will visit me in my dreams tonight as well. I miss you so & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. You continue to be my world & that will never change. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you. Fly high with all the Angels. Give Max & Snickers a big hug & kiss from Mom. I miss them too but I know you are all together & you are taking good care of them for Mom.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Here is the message that Mom got from Holly's husband, Harold. There is no doubt in my mind that you, Holly & Becca were right there making him feel the way he was. Like Mom said I am sure it will touch you as it did me. I love you, Tyler.
I've experienced this feeling about being in cemeteries from my teens, a good one where I find this peace n comfort and just love to be in one and let the mind freefall through thoughts. It can even be a cemetery where I know no one in it. I forget the name of the one that your loving son is at but I parked by his site for about 30 minutes today and just was enjoying my feeling when at one.
Hi my sweet son! Happy Monday to you. Hope you are somewhere sunny & warm. Mom is doing ok today. The weather is cold but sunny. I have been enjoying the last several days with having the sun out. It was so nice & warm for this time of the year around here. The next couple days will be cold, wet & rainy. We might even be getting some snow but the ground really is not frozen any more so it won't really stay. That won't hurt my feelings at all...lol! Mom took a day & really did nothing. I talked on the phone with a friend for a bit. Tried to cheer him up as there is a lot going on in his life. I wish Mom could do so much more for him but I just don't know what. He is such a sweetheart & love him dearly. I hate seeing him in such pain & being all stressed out. It hurts Mom. Mom prays that things in his life will get better & soon. Anything you can do on your side would be so sweet & appreciated. Thank you my sweet precious son. It means so much.
Aunt Beck called Mom today. We had a really great chat over the phone. It was so nice to hear her voice after not talking for 2 weeks. I missed her bunches. Sounds like her business trip was a very productive one & that is so awesome. I am excited for her & the upcoming business that she is a part of. They are home for 8 days & then back traveling to South America for a few weeks of vacation. I know you will be with them both yet again when they are back on the road. Thanks Ty! Not much else is going on. It was a pretty quiet day for all here. Mark worked from home today & was quite busy & like I said Mom just relaxed & did a few things that needed to get done earlier this afternoon. Made one of your favorite meals...homemade beef stew. Been cooking all day. Smells really good. I remember the times that I would cook your favorites. Made me smile to think back on those times. Things were always rough & tough for you. Not a day that went by that Mom did not see you struggle in more ways than one. Even though words were not spoken I saw everything. Mom hurt for you every day. It crushed me to no end that I was so helpless. I tried & gave it my all. I just hope it was enough for you. I hope that the short years that you were here with Mom you experienced many joys & happiness even though you lived with such heartache & pain. Mom wonders this all the time. I wish I would have asked you so I could have that answer...now it is just another thing that I will always wonder.
Do you remember Mom's friend Holly ( you went to college with her ) the one I graduated with. I would talk to you about her losing her daughter Becca...Holly also passed unexpectedly last March.... her husband, Harold sent Mom the sweetest message. I am going to copy it to the letter so the writing will be different but it was just too heart felt not to share with you or the world. I will include it at the end of the letter to you. I think you will be just as touched as Mom was. Mom still has not heard from that other lady yet since the last time we spoke. I am hoping she is just busy. Mom sees the dark side she is in & I hope that she is ok. I am worried but I keep tabs on her without anyone knowing. I plan on reaching out to her tomorrow.
Think that is all I have for you right now but here is the daily prayer for you today. February 22~ All scripture is given by inspiration of God & is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness: That the man of God may be perfect, thoroughly furnished unto all good works. Father, your Word makes it clear to me that the life of faith is not passive. While we wait for you to answer prayer, grant wisdom & open doors, we also keep our minds sharp & our hearts strengthened by reading & studying your Word, by meeting with you in prayer & by finding encouragement among other believers. These are disciplines our souls need to stay focused on ever-present hope. Amen.
The evening sky is upon us yet again for the night. I guess the full moon is tonight & not last night. Hope Mom gets a chance to see it. Hope Mom gets to see the stars shining bright as well. I will whisper to you as I always do so I hope that you hear me nightly & you will be listening out for my voice. Smile when you do. Smile that smile I miss so much. Mom hopes that your evening is filled with what you need it to be & want it to be. Rest if you can & close those beautiful big brown eyes of yours with those long thick eyelashes that we all adorable & were jealous of. Sweet dreams my sweet sweet pumpkin. Mom hopes you will visit me in my dreams tonight as well. I miss you so & I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings. You continue to be my world & that will never change. Please continue to watch over us all. Thank you. Fly high with all the Angels. Give Max & Snickers a big hug & kiss from Mom. I miss them too but I know you are all together & you are taking good care of them for Mom.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Here is the message that Mom got from Holly's husband, Harold. There is no doubt in my mind that you, Holly & Becca were right there making him feel the way he was. Like Mom said I am sure it will touch you as it did me. I love you, Tyler.
I've experienced this feeling about being in cemeteries from my teens, a good one where I find this peace n comfort and just love to be in one and let the mind freefall through thoughts. It can even be a cemetery where I know no one in it. I forget the name of the one that your loving son is at but I parked by his site for about 30 minutes today and just was enjoying my feeling when at one.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing alright I guess. It was another busy day today for Mark & I. We were up early & we did some grocery shopping, got things for the pups that we needed & then we went to the Verizon store so that Mom could get her new cell phone. Got back home & we cleaned out the garage, swept it out, took all cardboard to the recycle bins, put all groceries away, took the pups for a walk, & then Mom called & messaged everyone her new cell number. Needed to change it due to I had a Texas number & we don't live there anymore. Made me a little sad because I didn't want to give that up but I had no choice in the matter. Oh well, maybe someday I will go back there to live or maybe it will be Florida. Not sure but I know we won't be here for very long. Mark & Mom want to go South again & be in the warm weather. The cold is pretty hard on both of us now. We aren't getting any younger...lol.
Spoke to Meme today. Things are pretty rough for them right now. My heart hurts for her & Bob. Things seem to go ok for a bit & then bam all h*ll breaks loose & things go the complete opposite. I know you are watching over them & Mom thanks you for that. I really do. I am closer than I was to them but still a few hours away. It is hard right now when we only have 1 vehicle that is on the road. Hopefully that will change next week. Tried to call Grandpa but didn't get an answer. Will be trying again as it is not like him to not pick up the phone. I am sure it is nothing but you know mom I always worry. Aunt Beck emailed me. Her & John were in Dallas, Texas this morning & will be home soon. Guess by the sounds of it they had a lot of fun & got a lot of things accomplished during this trip. I think that is outstanding. Thank you for being with them though they journeys & traveling. Mom got some sad news today.... a friend of hers got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. She had major surgery & was holding her own. Things were going good & this morning she passed away unexpectedly. She was a sweetheart. Her name is Debbie. She sure did earn her Angel wings just like you & everyone else up there in Heaven. I don't think you would remember her but she sure knew you pumpkin. She is now reunited with her Mom, a couple Aunts & her son. It is bittersweet... it always is. I think that is it for updates for you tonight.
Here is your daily prayer for today though. February 21~ Thou art wearied in the greatness of thy way; yet saidst thou not, There is no hope: thou hast found the life of thine hand; therefore thou wast not grieved. Lord, today my heart goes out to all those whose past mistakes weigh them down & make any vision they have of their future dreary at best, Oh that they night know you & the saving grace you bring! Draw near to the today, Lord. Reveal yourself to them in a way that will reach them & through your mercy & forgiveness, bestow upon them a new vision---a new hope. Amen.
The evening sky has been upon us for 3 hours now. Mom will have to look to the sky to see if I see anything. It was clear most of the day so I am hoping to see the stars & the moon tonight as it is suppose to be a full moon. I guess it is a special full moon as well. I am not sure of what it is called but it is suppose to be where one is at the most peace in their lives. I will try to find it & write to you about it tomorrow. It was an interesting read. Be listening out for Mom's voice as I will whisper to you as I always do. May you have a restful night doing all that you need & want to. Hope you have sweet dreams & you come visit Mom in my dreams tonight as well. I love you my sweet precious son. You will always be my world. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Sunday evening? Mom is doing alright I guess. It was another busy day today for Mark & I. We were up early & we did some grocery shopping, got things for the pups that we needed & then we went to the Verizon store so that Mom could get her new cell phone. Got back home & we cleaned out the garage, swept it out, took all cardboard to the recycle bins, put all groceries away, took the pups for a walk, & then Mom called & messaged everyone her new cell number. Needed to change it due to I had a Texas number & we don't live there anymore. Made me a little sad because I didn't want to give that up but I had no choice in the matter. Oh well, maybe someday I will go back there to live or maybe it will be Florida. Not sure but I know we won't be here for very long. Mark & Mom want to go South again & be in the warm weather. The cold is pretty hard on both of us now. We aren't getting any younger...lol.
Spoke to Meme today. Things are pretty rough for them right now. My heart hurts for her & Bob. Things seem to go ok for a bit & then bam all h*ll breaks loose & things go the complete opposite. I know you are watching over them & Mom thanks you for that. I really do. I am closer than I was to them but still a few hours away. It is hard right now when we only have 1 vehicle that is on the road. Hopefully that will change next week. Tried to call Grandpa but didn't get an answer. Will be trying again as it is not like him to not pick up the phone. I am sure it is nothing but you know mom I always worry. Aunt Beck emailed me. Her & John were in Dallas, Texas this morning & will be home soon. Guess by the sounds of it they had a lot of fun & got a lot of things accomplished during this trip. I think that is outstanding. Thank you for being with them though they journeys & traveling. Mom got some sad news today.... a friend of hers got diagnosed with cancer a few months ago. She had major surgery & was holding her own. Things were going good & this morning she passed away unexpectedly. She was a sweetheart. Her name is Debbie. She sure did earn her Angel wings just like you & everyone else up there in Heaven. I don't think you would remember her but she sure knew you pumpkin. She is now reunited with her Mom, a couple Aunts & her son. It is bittersweet... it always is. I think that is it for updates for you tonight.
Here is your daily prayer for today though. February 21~ Thou art wearied in the greatness of thy way; yet saidst thou not, There is no hope: thou hast found the life of thine hand; therefore thou wast not grieved. Lord, today my heart goes out to all those whose past mistakes weigh them down & make any vision they have of their future dreary at best, Oh that they night know you & the saving grace you bring! Draw near to the today, Lord. Reveal yourself to them in a way that will reach them & through your mercy & forgiveness, bestow upon them a new vision---a new hope. Amen.
The evening sky has been upon us for 3 hours now. Mom will have to look to the sky to see if I see anything. It was clear most of the day so I am hoping to see the stars & the moon tonight as it is suppose to be a full moon. I guess it is a special full moon as well. I am not sure of what it is called but it is suppose to be where one is at the most peace in their lives. I will try to find it & write to you about it tomorrow. It was an interesting read. Be listening out for Mom's voice as I will whisper to you as I always do. May you have a restful night doing all that you need & want to. Hope you have sweet dreams & you come visit Mom in my dreams tonight as well. I love you my sweet precious son. You will always be my world. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. I miss you like crazy. Remember you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my hero & my wind beneath my wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is doing well...better than I thought I would be on this day. The weather today was amazing. It was so warm & sunny. It was 55 degrees & not a cloud in the sky. It is suppose to be that way for the next 3 days. Mom will take it. I have heard through the grape vine that we are in for a storm come Wednesday. I hope that if we do get one it won't be too bad. I hope that what I am hearing is someone pulling my leg when he says we are suppose to get 18" of snow. That better be a fib...lol Mom would be so upset as right now we have no snow at all & it is so nice. Guess time will time on that, right?
Today, Mom did a lot of things inside of the apartment & outside. Went & ran errands that needed to get done & then Mark got a haircut. Tomorrow morning is grocery shopping & then hopefully going to get a new cell phone. Mom is thinking that I will be switching my number because I have a Texas number now & I am think a Massachusetts number will be better now as we don't live there anymore. Looks like Mom will be getting her books this week & registering her vehicle finally. I will next get the study guide & then it is my exam. The next 8 weeks are going to be very busy for Mom. I know that you will be with me every step of the way though. I am really hoping that I will pass it the first time. That is my goal. I hope it happens.
Mom is so sorry for the short letter last night. Mom was feeling like crap again & then the Internet kept acting up. It was really making me mad. I wanted to write to you & I did but I couldn't save the letter that I originally wrote & I lost it when everything went to h*ll. I was so upset. When things got better I was really feeling terrible so I just did the one that I posted. I know I don't need to apologize for anything because you understand but I want to. Grandpa called last night but Mark spoke to him the whole time because of the way i was feeling. I promised to call him tonight. Guess things are well with him. Debbie was working so he had some time to chat. Aunt Beck & John should be traveling home soon from their two weeks away so I know that you will be with them. I can't wait to talk to her to see how things were. They are back for 7 -10 days & then gone again for 5 weeks. I hope they had a good time & I know you will be with them again when they travel back. Meme is doing the best to be expected & same as Bob. Aunt Shirley is still down with her back but she is managing the best she can. Grammy is still having more bad days than good ones. I know that you are with them & all of us. It means so much to Mom. Thank you so much for all you do from where you are.
A friend of Mom's got in touch with me a couple days ago to see if I would be willing to talk to one of her friends as she lost her son a couple years ago & she was having a hard time with it. She was hoping that we could connect so that maybe we could exchange stories & help one another out. I was more than willing. I have chatted with her a few times already & that poor woman is in such a dark place. I know that place all too well. I am going to chat with her soon. I hope that Mom will be able to help this lady. My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts for me. I hope that Mom will make you proud.
Here is the daily prayer for you today. February 20~ I will praise the name of God with a song & will magnify him with thanksgiving. Cherish the chance to work & play & think & speak & sing; all simple pleasures are opportunities for grateful praise. Amen.
The evening sky is & has been upon us for the last several hours now. Mom is hoping to look to the sky & see the stars shining bright. Tomorrow night is a full moon so Mom hopes I will be seeing that. The sunset tonight was beautiful. It made me smile. I am sure the sunrise will be just as nice in the morning. Mom hopes that you will have a wonderful, peaceful & restful night tonight. May you get to do all that you want to & need to. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Come visit me tonight in my own dreams. Mom will whisper to you later tonight. Hope you hear my voice. Smile & so will I. It is 32 months today that you left this physical world & every day has been so tough for Mom. I miss you so much. It does not get easier at all. I don't care what anyone says. I miss you like crazy. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi my sweet son! How are you doing on this Saturday evening? Mom is doing well...better than I thought I would be on this day. The weather today was amazing. It was so warm & sunny. It was 55 degrees & not a cloud in the sky. It is suppose to be that way for the next 3 days. Mom will take it. I have heard through the grape vine that we are in for a storm come Wednesday. I hope that if we do get one it won't be too bad. I hope that what I am hearing is someone pulling my leg when he says we are suppose to get 18" of snow. That better be a fib...lol Mom would be so upset as right now we have no snow at all & it is so nice. Guess time will time on that, right?
Today, Mom did a lot of things inside of the apartment & outside. Went & ran errands that needed to get done & then Mark got a haircut. Tomorrow morning is grocery shopping & then hopefully going to get a new cell phone. Mom is thinking that I will be switching my number because I have a Texas number now & I am think a Massachusetts number will be better now as we don't live there anymore. Looks like Mom will be getting her books this week & registering her vehicle finally. I will next get the study guide & then it is my exam. The next 8 weeks are going to be very busy for Mom. I know that you will be with me every step of the way though. I am really hoping that I will pass it the first time. That is my goal. I hope it happens.
Mom is so sorry for the short letter last night. Mom was feeling like crap again & then the Internet kept acting up. It was really making me mad. I wanted to write to you & I did but I couldn't save the letter that I originally wrote & I lost it when everything went to h*ll. I was so upset. When things got better I was really feeling terrible so I just did the one that I posted. I know I don't need to apologize for anything because you understand but I want to. Grandpa called last night but Mark spoke to him the whole time because of the way i was feeling. I promised to call him tonight. Guess things are well with him. Debbie was working so he had some time to chat. Aunt Beck & John should be traveling home soon from their two weeks away so I know that you will be with them. I can't wait to talk to her to see how things were. They are back for 7 -10 days & then gone again for 5 weeks. I hope they had a good time & I know you will be with them again when they travel back. Meme is doing the best to be expected & same as Bob. Aunt Shirley is still down with her back but she is managing the best she can. Grammy is still having more bad days than good ones. I know that you are with them & all of us. It means so much to Mom. Thank you so much for all you do from where you are.
A friend of Mom's got in touch with me a couple days ago to see if I would be willing to talk to one of her friends as she lost her son a couple years ago & she was having a hard time with it. She was hoping that we could connect so that maybe we could exchange stories & help one another out. I was more than willing. I have chatted with her a few times already & that poor woman is in such a dark place. I know that place all too well. I am going to chat with her soon. I hope that Mom will be able to help this lady. My heart hurts for her. My heart hurts for me. I hope that Mom will make you proud.
Here is the daily prayer for you today. February 20~ I will praise the name of God with a song & will magnify him with thanksgiving. Cherish the chance to work & play & think & speak & sing; all simple pleasures are opportunities for grateful praise. Amen.
The evening sky is & has been upon us for the last several hours now. Mom is hoping to look to the sky & see the stars shining bright. Tomorrow night is a full moon so Mom hopes I will be seeing that. The sunset tonight was beautiful. It made me smile. I am sure the sunrise will be just as nice in the morning. Mom hopes that you will have a wonderful, peaceful & restful night tonight. May you get to do all that you want to & need to. Sweet dreams my sweet precious son. Come visit me tonight in my own dreams. Mom will whisper to you later tonight. Hope you hear my voice. Smile & so will I. It is 32 months today that you left this physical world & every day has been so tough for Mom. I miss you so much. It does not get easier at all. I don't care what anyone says. I miss you like crazy. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world. Remember that you are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Friday, February 19, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom's day started out pretty good, but kinda went downhill from there. I started to get a headache & the now my stomach is hurting. Hope I am not coming down with anything. Maybe Mom will go to bed early & get some rest tonight. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning.
Today was another beautiful sunny day. Chilly but sunny so I will take that over snow any day. This weekend is suppose to be really nice here. It will be 55 degrees & partly sunny. That makes Mom smile. BTW... Mom saw the stars shining bright last night. I whispered to you immediately when I saw them. Did you hear Mom? I sure hope so. I will look to the sky tonight as well to see if I see anything. No matter what I will whisper to you again as I always do each & every night. Be listening out for Mom's voice again. Make sure you smile that smile that I miss so much. I can picture it in my head right now. Do you see my smile? I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Nothing for updates today as last night was super quiet. Mom didn't talk on the phone at all. I will assume that no news is good news though. I did get a message from Aunt Shirley saying she was doing a little better with the pain in her back. Aunt Jacqui also messaged me to tell me that Uncle Dick was not doing so great. Anything you can do from where you are would be so helpful, Ty. Thank you so much. Means so much to us all. Please also watch over Mom, Mark & all our family & friends. I know you do anyways but just thought that I would ask just the same. Thank you.
I am so sorry Tyler, but Mom is going to have to cut my letter short to you tonight as we are having problems with our internet for some reason. Cable & phone is fine but wifi is giving us huge problems. This sucks but you know how technology is these days. Anyways..... Mom hopes that you have a restful & peaceful evening. May you do all that you need & want to. Rest for a bit tonight if you get the chance & get some sleep. Sweet dreams to you & come visit me in mine tonight as well.
You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings. Never forget this, please.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Mom will write more tomorrow. Internet is back on now but I am so tired & feeling worse. Please be with Mom. I love you pumpkin.
Hi my sweet son. How are you doing on this Friday afternoon? Mom's day started out pretty good, but kinda went downhill from there. I started to get a headache & the now my stomach is hurting. Hope I am not coming down with anything. Maybe Mom will go to bed early & get some rest tonight. Hopefully I will feel better in the morning.
Today was another beautiful sunny day. Chilly but sunny so I will take that over snow any day. This weekend is suppose to be really nice here. It will be 55 degrees & partly sunny. That makes Mom smile. BTW... Mom saw the stars shining bright last night. I whispered to you immediately when I saw them. Did you hear Mom? I sure hope so. I will look to the sky tonight as well to see if I see anything. No matter what I will whisper to you again as I always do each & every night. Be listening out for Mom's voice again. Make sure you smile that smile that I miss so much. I can picture it in my head right now. Do you see my smile? I miss you so much my sweet precious son. I love you to the moon & back & all the way around the world.
Nothing for updates today as last night was super quiet. Mom didn't talk on the phone at all. I will assume that no news is good news though. I did get a message from Aunt Shirley saying she was doing a little better with the pain in her back. Aunt Jacqui also messaged me to tell me that Uncle Dick was not doing so great. Anything you can do from where you are would be so helpful, Ty. Thank you so much. Means so much to us all. Please also watch over Mom, Mark & all our family & friends. I know you do anyways but just thought that I would ask just the same. Thank you.
I am so sorry Tyler, but Mom is going to have to cut my letter short to you tonight as we are having problems with our internet for some reason. Cable & phone is fine but wifi is giving us huge problems. This sucks but you know how technology is these days. Anyways..... Mom hopes that you have a restful & peaceful evening. May you do all that you need & want to. Rest for a bit tonight if you get the chance & get some sleep. Sweet dreams to you & come visit me in mine tonight as well.
You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. You are my Hero & Mom's Wind Beneath My Wings. Never forget this, please.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
P.S. Mom will write more tomorrow. Internet is back on now but I am so tired & feeling worse. Please be with Mom. I love you pumpkin.
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Dear Tyler,
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this sunny Thursday afternoon? Mom has had a better day today. Still working on many things & not sure the direction everything will go or where it will lead but I am getting there my sweet boy. I know you are with me every step of the way as well & that sure does mean a lot to Mom so thank you so much. Today was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining & it was chilly but nice out. Took the pups for a long long & they really enjoyed it. I love walking. I remember our walks that we would take all the time. We would have the best time just talking about everything & anything. Just spending quality time with you was what I loved the most. I loved being your Mom. I felt honored & privileged to have been picked to be your Mom. I miss it so much. I know everyone says I will always be your Mom & I know that but we both know it is not the same thing. It makes me so sad. Every second of every minute of every day hurts Mom without having you with me in the physical world. I can't believe that in 2 more days it has been 32 months since I had to say goodbye to you. Oh how my heart hurts & will never be mended or repair by the loss of you my sweet precious son. Please always know that I miss you more than words can say & I love you with every beat of my heart. That is where you will forever remain.
Today, I was talking to my sweet friend...the one I mention on here to you. He was telling Mom something that made me shed many of tears. He was telling me that where his wife works there is something like a memory wall. I guess it is made of bricks & you can dedicate one to anyone you want too. He asked me if it was ok to purchase a brick & dedicate it to you. OMG..... Mom thought that was the sweetest thing. To have someone do that for you that never ever got the chance to meet you made me feel so special, Tyler. Thinking about it & writing it to you right now is bringing the tears back. Make sure that you go to him & say thank you. Make it known that it is you though. I am sure you will do something silly or perhaps you will put on Creed or Nickelback on his radio station when he is driving as those were 2 of your favorites. I know you will thank him in your own way & I can't wait to hear just how you do it.
Grandpa called last night like I thought he might. We chatted for a bit. Things are well with him & Debbie. Didn't hear how Aunt Shirley made out at the doctors or how Grammy is doing but I did read & hear that Uncle Dick is sick with bronchial pneumonia. That is not good for his asthma at all. yesterday Auntie Jacqui posted a song for you on facebook...it was Mercy Me.... I can Only Imagine. Mom thought it was so sweet. Yup... I cried when I listened to it. You know Mom.... I am a sap...lol. That is all the updates that I have for you. Can you please be with them & help them out? Help Mom out too? Thanks Tyler. Means a lot to me.
Last night I did not see anything shining in the sky. I was surprised as it was clear all day & at night it turned cloudy. Maybe I will have luck seeing them tonight. I will look later as right now the sun is setting & it is still fairly light outside. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will smile when I am talking to you. Along with your daily prayer tonight, Mom found something she wanted to write to you. Hope you like it!
Every time I close my eyes, you're all that I can see
I hold you in my heart & know your watching over me
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
From you I learned it all
You would never let me fall
Love won't come undone
Between a Mother & her son
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
If I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
There will come a day
I'll have to walk alone
And I'll have to make it on my own
You taught me all there is to know
Son, I'll never let you go.
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
Just can't say goodbye
Here is the daily prayer for today. February 18~ Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. Just when all seems hopeless, prayer lifts us like a boat on an ocean wave. A sturdy craft, prayer doesn't hide from pain, but uses it like the force of the sea to move us to a new place of insight, patience, courage & sympathy. Always, it is God's hand beneath the surface holding us up. Amen.
Mom hopes that you evening will be all that you need & want it to be. May you do all that you want. I am sure you will be doing many wonderful things wherever you are tonight. Mom is sure of that! Slow down though & get some rest. May you have sweet dreams tonight & please come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when it is time for me to fall asleep. I miss you & I love you. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Continue to fly high & free no matter where you go. You are my Wind Beneath My Wings & Mom's Hero.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this sunny Thursday afternoon? Mom has had a better day today. Still working on many things & not sure the direction everything will go or where it will lead but I am getting there my sweet boy. I know you are with me every step of the way as well & that sure does mean a lot to Mom so thank you so much. Today was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining & it was chilly but nice out. Took the pups for a long long & they really enjoyed it. I love walking. I remember our walks that we would take all the time. We would have the best time just talking about everything & anything. Just spending quality time with you was what I loved the most. I loved being your Mom. I felt honored & privileged to have been picked to be your Mom. I miss it so much. I know everyone says I will always be your Mom & I know that but we both know it is not the same thing. It makes me so sad. Every second of every minute of every day hurts Mom without having you with me in the physical world. I can't believe that in 2 more days it has been 32 months since I had to say goodbye to you. Oh how my heart hurts & will never be mended or repair by the loss of you my sweet precious son. Please always know that I miss you more than words can say & I love you with every beat of my heart. That is where you will forever remain.
Today, I was talking to my sweet friend...the one I mention on here to you. He was telling Mom something that made me shed many of tears. He was telling me that where his wife works there is something like a memory wall. I guess it is made of bricks & you can dedicate one to anyone you want too. He asked me if it was ok to purchase a brick & dedicate it to you. OMG..... Mom thought that was the sweetest thing. To have someone do that for you that never ever got the chance to meet you made me feel so special, Tyler. Thinking about it & writing it to you right now is bringing the tears back. Make sure that you go to him & say thank you. Make it known that it is you though. I am sure you will do something silly or perhaps you will put on Creed or Nickelback on his radio station when he is driving as those were 2 of your favorites. I know you will thank him in your own way & I can't wait to hear just how you do it.
Grandpa called last night like I thought he might. We chatted for a bit. Things are well with him & Debbie. Didn't hear how Aunt Shirley made out at the doctors or how Grammy is doing but I did read & hear that Uncle Dick is sick with bronchial pneumonia. That is not good for his asthma at all. yesterday Auntie Jacqui posted a song for you on facebook...it was Mercy Me.... I can Only Imagine. Mom thought it was so sweet. Yup... I cried when I listened to it. You know Mom.... I am a sap...lol. That is all the updates that I have for you. Can you please be with them & help them out? Help Mom out too? Thanks Tyler. Means a lot to me.
Last night I did not see anything shining in the sky. I was surprised as it was clear all day & at night it turned cloudy. Maybe I will have luck seeing them tonight. I will look later as right now the sun is setting & it is still fairly light outside. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will smile when I am talking to you. Along with your daily prayer tonight, Mom found something she wanted to write to you. Hope you like it!
Every time I close my eyes, you're all that I can see
I hold you in my heart & know your watching over me
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
And I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
From you I learned it all
You would never let me fall
Love won't come undone
Between a Mother & her son
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
If I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
There will come a day
I'll have to walk alone
And I'll have to make it on my own
You taught me all there is to know
Son, I'll never let you go.
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
Just can't say goodbye
Here is the daily prayer for today. February 18~ Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. Just when all seems hopeless, prayer lifts us like a boat on an ocean wave. A sturdy craft, prayer doesn't hide from pain, but uses it like the force of the sea to move us to a new place of insight, patience, courage & sympathy. Always, it is God's hand beneath the surface holding us up. Amen.
Mom hopes that you evening will be all that you need & want it to be. May you do all that you want. I am sure you will be doing many wonderful things wherever you are tonight. Mom is sure of that! Slow down though & get some rest. May you have sweet dreams tonight & please come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when it is time for me to fall asleep. I miss you & I love you. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Continue to fly high & free no matter where you go. You are my Wind Beneath My Wings & Mom's Hero.
Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
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