Dear Tyler,

Hi pumpkin! How are you doing on this sunny Thursday afternoon? Mom has had a better day today. Still working on many things & not sure the direction everything will go or where it will lead but I am getting there my sweet boy. I know you are with me every step of the way as well & that sure does mean a lot to Mom so thank you so much. Today was such a beautiful day. The sun was shining & it was chilly but nice out. Took the pups for a long long & they really enjoyed it. I love walking. I remember our walks that we would take all the time. We would have the best time just talking about everything & anything. Just spending quality time with you was what I loved the most. I loved being your Mom. I felt honored & privileged to have been picked to be your Mom. I miss it so much. I know everyone says I will always be your Mom & I know that but we both know it is not the same thing. It makes me so sad. Every second of every minute of every day hurts Mom without having you with me in the physical world. I can't believe that in 2 more days it has been 32 months since I had to say goodbye to you. Oh how my heart hurts & will never be mended or repair by the loss of you my sweet precious son. Please always know that I miss you more than words can say & I love you with every beat of my heart. That is where you will forever remain. 
 Today, I was talking to my sweet friend...the one I mention on here to you. He was telling Mom something that made me shed many of tears. He was telling me that where his wife works there is something like a memory wall. I guess it is made of bricks & you can dedicate one to anyone you want too. He asked me if it was ok to purchase a brick & dedicate it to you. OMG..... Mom thought that was the sweetest thing. To have someone do that for you that never ever got the chance to meet you made me feel so special, Tyler. Thinking about it & writing it to you right now is bringing the tears back. Make sure that you go to him & say thank you. Make it known that it is you though. I am sure you will do something silly or perhaps you will put on Creed or Nickelback on his radio station when he is driving as those were 2 of your favorites. I know you will thank him in your own way & I can't wait to hear just how you do it. 
 Grandpa called last night like I thought he might. We chatted for a bit. Things are well with him & Debbie. Didn't hear how Aunt Shirley made out at the doctors or how Grammy is doing but I did read & hear that Uncle Dick is sick with bronchial pneumonia. That is not good for his asthma at all. yesterday Auntie Jacqui posted a song for you on facebook...it was Mercy Me.... I can Only Imagine. Mom thought it was so sweet. Yup... I cried when I listened to it. You know Mom.... I am a sap...lol. That is all the updates that I have for you. Can you please be with them & help them out? Help Mom out too? Thanks Tyler. Means a lot to me.
 Last night I did not see anything shining in the sky. I was surprised as it was clear all day & at night it turned cloudy. Maybe I will have luck seeing them tonight. I will look later as right now the sun is setting & it is still fairly light outside. No matter what I will whisper to you as I always do. Be listening for my voice. Smile when you hear it & I will smile when I am talking to you. Along with your daily prayer tonight, Mom found something she wanted to write to you. Hope you like it!

 Every time I close my eyes, you're all that I can see
I hold you in my heart & know your watching over me
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes 
And I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
From you I learned it all
You would never let me fall
Love won't come undone
Between a Mother & her son
Standing by your side, it felt like I could fly
If I could be half the person that you are in my eyes
If I could face the darkest day & fight the tears inside
I can't turn the page or hold back the time
It's too hard to say goodbye
There will come a day
I'll have to walk alone
And I'll have to make it on my own
You taught me all there is to know
Son, I'll never let you go.
It's too hard to say goodbye
It's too hard to say goodbye
Just can't say goodbye

Here is the daily prayer for today. February 18~ Save me, O God; for the waters are come in unto my soul. Just when all seems hopeless, prayer lifts us like a boat on an ocean wave. A sturdy craft, prayer doesn't hide from pain, but uses it like the force of the sea to move us to a new place of insight, patience, courage & sympathy. Always, it is God's hand beneath the surface holding us up. Amen.
 Mom hopes that you evening will be all that you need & want it to be. May you do all that you want. I am sure you will be doing many wonderful things wherever you are tonight. Mom is sure of that! Slow down though & get some rest. May you have sweet dreams tonight & please come visit Mom in my dreams tonight when it is time for me to fall asleep. I miss you & I love you. You are forever in my heart, mind & soul. Continue to fly high & free no matter where you go. You are my Wind Beneath My Wings & Mom's Hero.
 Always, Mommy xoxoxo. Muah!